MRS. WOLFF
What coat are you talkin’ about?
JULIUS
Krueger’s, o’ course!
MRS. WOLFF
Don’t you go talkin’ rot like that, y’understan’? An’ don’t go an’ give yourself a black eye on account o’ other people’s affairs!
JULIUS
I guess them things concerns me!
MRS. WOLFF
Concerns you–rot! That don’t concern you at all. That’s my business an’ not yours. You ain’t no man at all; you’re nothin’ but an old woman!–Here you got some change. Now hurry an’ get out o’ here. Go over to Fiebig and take a drink. I don’t care if you have a good time all day Sunday. [_A knocking is heard._] Come right in! Come right in, any one that wants to!
_DR. FLEISCHER enters, leading his little son of five by the hand. FLEISCHER is twenty-seven years old. He wears one of the Jaeger reform suits. His hair, beard and moustache are all coal-black. His eyes are deep-set; his voice, as a rule, gentle. He displays, at every moment, a touching anxiety for the child._
MRS. WOLFF
[_Jubilantly._] Lord! Is little Philip comin’ to see us once more! Now, ain’t that fine? Now I really feel proud o’ that! [_She gets hold of the child and takes off his overcoat._] Come now an’ take off your coat. It’s warm back here an’ you ain’t goin’ to be cold.
FLEISCHER
Mrs. Wolff, there’s a draught. I believe there’s a draught.
MRS. WOLFF
Oh, he ain’t so weak as all that. A bit o’ draught, ain’t goin’ to hurt this little feller!
FLEISCHER
Oh, but it will, I assure you. You have no idea. He catches cold so easily! Exercise, Philip! Keep moving a little.
_PHILIP jerks his shoulders back with a pettish exclamation._
FLEISCHER
Come now, Philip. You’ll end by being ill. All you have to do is to walk slowly up and down.
PHILIP
[_Naughtily._] But, I don’t want to.
MRS. WOLFF
Let him do like he wants to.
FLEISCHER
Well, good morning, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
Good morning, Doctor. I’m glad to see you comin’ in onct more.
FLEISCHER
Good morning, Mr. Wolff.
JULIUS
Good mornin’, Mr. Fleischer.
MRS. WOLFF
You’re very welcome. Please sit down.
FLEISCHER
We have just a few minutes to stay.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, if we has such a fine visit paid us so early in the mornin’, we’re sure to have a lucky day this day. [_Kneeling down by the child._] Ain’t it so, my boy? You’ll bring us good luck, won’t you?
PHILIP
[_Excitedly._] I went to ze zological darden; I saw ze storks zere, an’ zey bit each ozzer wis zeir dolden bills.
MRS. WOLFF
Well now, you don’t mean to say so! You’re tellin’ me a little fib, ain’t you? [_Hugging and kissing the child._] Lord, child, I could just eat you up, eat you right up. Mr. Fleischer, I’m goin’ to keep this boy. This is my boy. You’re my boy, ain’t you? An’ how’s your mother, eh?
PHILIP
She’s well an’ she sends her redards an’ you’ll please tome in ze morning to wash.
MRS. WOLFF
Well now, just listen to that. A little feller like that an’ he can give all that message already! [_To FLEISCHER._] Won’t you sit down, just a bit?
FLEISCHER
The boy bothers me about boating. Is it possible to go?
MRS. WOLFF
Oh, sure. The Spree is open. My girl there c’n row you out a way.
FLEISCHER
The boy won’t stop about it! He’s just taken that into his head.
ADELAIDE
[_Showing herself in the door that leads to the next room, beckons to PHILIP._] Come, Philip, I’ll show you somethin’ real fine!
_PHILIP gives a stubborn screech._
FLEISCHER
Now, Philip, you musn’t be naughty!
ADELAIDE
Just look at that fine orange!
_PHILIP’S face is wreathed in smiles. He takes a few steps in ADELAIDE’s direction._
FLEISCHER
Go ahead, but don’t beg!
ADELAIDE
Come on! Come on! We’ll eat this orange together now.
[_She walks in the child’s direction, takes him by the hand, holds up the orange temptingly, and both go, now quite at one, into the next room._
MRS. WOLFF
[_Following the child with her eyes._] No, that boy, I could just sit an’ look at him. I don’t know, when I see a boy like that … [_She takes up a corner of her apron and wipes her eyes._] … I feel as if I had to howl right out.
FLEISCHER
Did you have a boy like that once?
MRS. WOLFF
That I had. But what’s the use o’ all that. You can’t make people come back to life. You see–things like that–that’s life….
_A pause._
FLEISCHER
One can’t be careful enough with children,
MRS. WOLFF
You can go an’ be as careful as you want to be. What is to be, will be. [_A pause.–Shaking her head._] What trouble did you have with Mr. Motes?
FLEISCHER
I? None at all! What trouble should I have had with him?
MRS. WOLFF
Oh, I was just thinkin’.
FLEISCHER
How old is your daughter anyhow?
MRS. WOLFF
She’ll be out o’ school this Easter. Why? Would you like to have her? I wouldn’t mind her goin’ into service if it’s with you.
FLEISCHER
I don’t see why not. That wouldn’t be half bad.
MRS. WOLFF
She’s grown up to be a strong kind o’ body. Even if she is a bit young, she c’n work most as well as any one, I tell you. An’ I tell you another thing. She’s a scamp now an’ then; she don’t always do right. But she ain’t no fool. That girl’s got genius.
FLEISCHER
That’s quite possible, no doubt.
MRS. WOLFF
You just let her go an’ recite a single piece for you–just once–a pome, or somethin’. An’ I tell you, Doctor, you ain’t goin’ to be able to get through shiverin’. You c’n possibly call her in some day when you got visitors from Berlin. All kinds o’ writers comes to your house, I believe. An’ she ain’t backward; she’ll sail right in. Oh, she does say pieces _that_ beautiful.–[_With a sudden change of manner._] Now I want to give you a bit o’ advice; only you musn’t be offended.
FLEISCHER
I’m never offended by good advice.
MRS. WOLFF
First thing, then: Don’t give away so much. Nobody ain’t goin’ to thank you for it. You don’t get nothin’ but ingratitude.
FLEISCHER
Why, I don’t give away very much, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
That’s all right, I know. An’ the more you talk, the more scared people gets. First thing they says: that’s a demercrat. Yon can’t be too careful talkin’.
FLEISCHER
In what way am I to take all that, Mrs. Wolff?
MRS. WOLFF
Yon c’n go an’ you c’n think what you please. But you gotta be careful when it comes to talkin’, or you sit in gaol before you know it.
FLEISCHER
[_Turns pale._] Well, now, look here, but that’s nonsense, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
No, no. I tell you that’s serious. An’ be careful o’ that feller, whatever you do!
FLEISCHER
Whom do you mean by that?
MRS. WOLFF
The same man we was talkin’ about a while ago.
FLEISCHER
Motes, you mean?
MRS. WOLFF
I ain’t namin’ no names. You must ha’ had some kind o’ trouble with that feller.
FLEISCHER
I don’t even associate with him any longer.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, you see, that’s just what I’ve been think-in’.
FLEISCHER
Nobody could possibly blame me for that, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
An’ I ain’t blamin’ you for it.
FLEISCHER
It would be a fine thing, wouldn’t it–to associate with a swindler, a notorious swindler.
MRS. WOLFF
That man is a swindler; you’re right there.
FLEISCHER
Now he moved over to Dreier’s. That poor woman will have a hard time getting her rent. And whatever she has, she’ll get rid of it. Why, a fellow like that–he’s a regular gaol-bird.
MRS. WOLFF
Sometimes, you know, he’ll say things …
FLEISCHER
Is that so? About me? Well, I _am_ curious.
MRS. WOLFF
I believe you was heard to say somethin’ bad about some high person, or somethin’ like that.
FLEISCHER
H-m. You don’t know anything definite, I dare say?
MRS. WOLFF
He’s mighty thick with Wehrhahn, that’s certain. But I tell you what. You go over to old mother Dreier. That old witch is beginnin’ to smell a rat. First they was as nice as can be to her; now they’re eatin’ her outta house and home!
FLEISCHER
Oh, pshaw! The whole thing is nonsense.
MRS. WOLFF
You c’n go to the Dreier woman. That don’t do no harm. She c’n tell you a story … He wanted to get her into givin’ false witness…. That shows the kind o’ man you gotta deal with.
FLEISCHER
Of course, I might go there. It can do no harm. But, in the end, the whole matter is indifferent to me. It would be the deuce of a world, if a fellow like that…. You just let him come!–Here, Philip, Philip! Where are you? We’ve got to go.
ADELAIDE’S VOICE
Oh, we’re lookin’ at such pretty pictures.
FLEISCHER
What do you think of that other business, anyhow?
MRS. WOLFF
What business?
FLEISCHER
Haven’t you heard anything yet?
MRS. WOLFF [_Restlessly._] Well, what was I sayin’?… [_Impatiently._] Hurry, Julius, an’ go, so’s you c’n get back in time for dinner. [_To FLEISCHER._] We killed’ a rabbit for dinner to-day. Ain’t you ready yet, Julius?
JULIUS
Well, give me a chanst to find my cap.
MRS. WOLFF
I can’t stand seein’ anybody just foolin’ round that way, as if it didn’t make no difference about to-day or to-morrow, I like to see things move along.
FLEISCHER
Why, last night, at Krueger’s, they …
MRS. WOLFF
Do me a favour, Doctor, an’ don’t talk to me about that there man. I’m that angry at him! That man hurt my feelin’s too bad. The way we was–him an’ me, for so long–an’ then he goes and tries to blacken my character with all them people. [_To JULIUS._] Are you goin’ or not?
JULIUS
I’m goin’ all right; don’t get so huffy. Good mornin’ to you, Mr. Fleischer.
FLEISCHER
Good morning, Mr. Wolff.
[_JULIUS exit._
MRS. WOLFF
Well, as I was sayin’ …
FLEISCHER
That time when his wood was stolen, I suppose he quarreled with you. But he’s repented of that long since.
MRS. WOLFF
That man and repent!
FLEISCHER
You may believe me all the same, Mrs. Wolff. And especially after this last affair. He has a very high opinion of you indeed. The best thing would be if you were to be reconciled.
MRS. WOLFF
We might ha’ talked together like sensible people, but for him to go an’ run straight to the police–no, no!
FLEISCHER
Well, the poor little old couple is having bad luck: only a week ago their wood, and now the fur coat….
MRS. WOLFF
Are you comin’ to your great news now? Out with it!
FLEISCHER
Well, it’s a clear case of burglary.
MRS. WOLFF
Some more stealin’? Don’t make fun o’ me!
FLEISCHER
Yes, and this time it’s a perfectly new fur coat.
MRS. WOLFF
Well now, you know, pretty soon I’ll move away from here. That’s a crowd round here! Why, a person ain’t sare o’ their lives. Tst! Tst! Such folks! It ain’t hardly to be believed!
FLEISCHER
You can form an idea of the noise they’re making.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, you can’t hardly blame the people.
FLEISCHER
And really, it was, a very expensive garment–of mink, I believe.
MRS. WOLFF
Ain’t that somethin’ like beaver, Mr. Fleischer?
FLEISCHER
Perhaps it was beaver, for all I know. Anyhow, they were real proud of it.–I admit, I laughed to myself over the business. When something like that is discovered it always has a comic effect.
MRS. WOLFF
You’re a cruel man, really, Doctor. I can’t go an’ laugh about things like that.
FLEISCHER
You mustn’t think that I’m not sorry for the man, for all that.
MRS. WOLFF
Them must be pretty strange people. I don’t know. There ain’t no way o’ understandin’ that. Just to go an’ rob other people o’ what’s theirs–no, then it’s better to work till you drop.
FLEISCHER
You might perhaps make a point of keeping your ears open. I believe the coat is supposed to be in the village.
MRS. WOLFF
Has they got any suspicion o’ anybody?
FLEISCHER
Oh, there was a washerwoman working at the Krueger’s….
MRS. WOLFF
By the name o’ Miller?
FLEISCHER
And she has a very large family…?
MRS. WOLFF
The woman’s got a large family, that’s so, but to steal that way … no! She might take some little thing, yes.
FLEISCHER
Of course Krueger put her out.
MRS. WOLFF
Aw, that’s bound to come out. My goodness, the devil hisself’d have to be back o’ that if it don’t. I wish I was justice here. But the man is that stoopid!–well! I c’n see better’n the dark than he can by day with his glass eye.
FLEISCHER
I almost believe you could.
MRS. WOLFF
I c’n tell you, if I had to, I could steal the chair from under that man’s behind.
FLEISCHER
[_Has arisen and calls, laughingly, into the adjoining room._] Come, Philip, come! We’ve got to go! Good-bye, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
You get dressed, Adelaide. You c’n go an’ row Mr. Fleischer a ways.
ADELAIDE
[_Enters, buttoning the last buttons at her throat and leading PHILIP by the hand._] I’m all ready. [_To PHILIP._] You come right here; I’ll take you on my arm.
FLEISCHER
[_Anxiously helping the boy on with his coat._] He’s got to be wrapped up well; he’s so delicate, and no doubt it’s windy out on the river.
ADELAIDE
I better go ahead an’ get the boat ready.
MRS. WOLFF
Is your health better these days?
FLEISCHER
Much better since I’m living out here.
ADELAIDE
[_Calls back in from the door._] Mama, Mr. Krueger.
MRS. WOLFF
Who’s comin’?
ADELAIDE
Mr. Krueger.
MRS. WOLFF
It ain’t possible!
FLEISCHER
He meant to come to you during the forenoon.
[_Exit._
MRS. WOLFF
[_Throws a swift glance at the heap of fire wood and vigorously sets about clearing it away._] Come on, now, help me get this wood out o’ sight.
ADELAIDE
Why, mama? Oh, on account o’ Mr. Krueger.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, what for d’you suppose? Is this a proper way for a place to look, the way this one is look-in’? Is that decent an’ on Sunday mornin’, too? What is Mr. Krueger goin’ to think of us? [_KRUEGER appears, exhausted by his walk. MRS. WOLFF calls out to him._] Mr. Krueger, please don’t look ’round. This place is in a terrible state!
KRUEGER
[_Impetuously._] Good morning! Good morning! Don’t worry about that at all! You go to work every week and your house can’t be expected to be perfect on Sunday. You are an excellent woman, Mrs. Wolff, and a very honest one. And I think we might do very well to forget whatever has happened between us.
MRS. WOLFF
[_Is moved, and dries her eyes from time to time with a corner of her apron._] I never had nothin’ against you in the world. I always liked to work for you. But you went an’ got so rough like, you know, that a person’s temper couldn’t hardly help gettin’ away with ’em. Lord, a person is sorry for that kind o’ thing soon enough.
KRUEGER
You just come back and wash for us. Where is your daughter Leontine?
MRS. WOLFF
She went to take some cabbage to the postmaster.
KRUEGER
You just let us have that girl again. She can have thirty crowns wages instead of twenty. We were always quite satisfied with her in other respects. Let’s forgive and forget the whole affair.
[_He holds out his hand to MRS. WOLFF, who takes it heartily._
MRS. WOLFF
All that hadn’t no need to happen. The girl, you see, is still foolish like a child. We old people always did get along together.
KRUEGER
Well, then, the matter is settled. [_Gradually regaining his breath._]–Well, then, my mind is at rest about that, anyhow.–But now, do tell me! This thing that’s happened to me! What do you say to that?
MRS. WOLFF
Oh, well, you know–what _can_ a person say about such things?
KRUEGER
And there we got that Mr. von Wehrhahn! He’s very well when it comes to annoying honest citizens and thinking out all sorts of chicanery and persecution, but–That man, what doesn’t he stick his inquisitive nose into!
MRS. WOLFF
Into everything exceptin’ what he ought to.
KRUEGER
I’m going to him now to give formal notice. I won’t rest! This thing has got to be discovered.
MRS. WOLFF
You oughtn’t by no means to let a thing o’ that kind go.
KRUEGER
And if I’ve got to turn everything upside down–I’ll get back my coat, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
What this place needs is a good cleanin’ out. We won’t get no rest in the village till then. They’ll end up by stealin’ the roof from over a person’s head.
KRUEGER
I ask you to consider, for heaven’s sake–two robberies in the course of two weeks! Two loads of wood, just like the wood you have there. [_He takes up a piece that is lying on the floor._] Such good and expensive wood, Mrs. Wolff.
MRS. WOLFF
It’s enough to make a person get blue in the face with rage. The kind o’ crowd we gotta live with here! Aw, things like that! No, you know! Just leave me alone with it!
KRUEGER
[_Irately gesticulating with the piece of wood._] And if it costs me a thousand crowns, I’ll see to it that those thieves are hunted down. They won’t escape the penitentiary this time.
MRS. WOLFF
An’ that’d be a blessin’ too, as sure’s we’re alive!
THE CURTAIN FALLS
THE FOURTH ACT
_The court room. GLASENAPP is sitting at his table. MRS. WOLFF and ADELAIDE are waiting for the justice. ADELAIDE holds on her lap a small package wrapped in linen._
MRS. WOLFF
He’s takin’ his time again to-day.
GLASENAPP
[_Writing._] Patience! Patience!
MRS. WOLFF
Well, if he’s goin’ to be so late again to-day, he won’t have no more time for us.
GLASENAPP
Goodness! You an’ your trifles! We got different kinds o’ things to deal with here.
MRS. WOLFF
Aw, I guess they’re fine things you got to do.
GLASENAPP
That’s no way to talk. That ain’t proper here!
MRS. WOLFF
Aw, act a little more grand, will you? Krueger hisself sent my girl here!
GLASENAPP
The same old story about the coat, I suppose.
MRS. WOLFF
An’ why not!
GLASENAPP
Now the old fellow’s got somethin’ for sure. Now he can go stirrin’ things up–the knock-kneed old nuisance.
MRS. WOLFF
You c’n use your tongue. You better see about findin’ out somethin’.
MITTELDORF
[_Appears in the doorway._] You’re to come right over, Glasenapp. His honour wants to ax you somethin’.
GLASENAPP
Has I got to interrupt myself again?
[_He throws down his pen and goes out._
MRS. WOLFF
Good mornin’, Mitteldorf.
MITTELDORF
Good mornin’.
MRS. WOLFF
What’s keepin’ the justice all this while?
MITTELDORF
He’s writin’ pages an’ pages! An’ them must be important things, I c’n tell you that. [_Confidentially._] An’ lemme tell you: there’s somethin’ in the air.–I ain’t sayin’ I know exactly what. But there’s somethin’–I know that as sure ‘s … You just look out, that’s all, and you’ll live to see it. It’s goin’ to come down–somethin’–and when it do–look out. That’s all I say. No, I don’t pretend to understand them things. It’s all new doin’s to me. That’s what they calls modern. An’ I don’t know nothin’ about that. But somethin’s got to happen. Things can’t go on this way. The whole place is got to be cleaned out. I can’t say ‘s I gets the hang of it. I’m too old. But talk about the justice what died. Why, he wan’t nothin’ but a dam’ fool to this one. I could go an’ tell you all kinds o’ things, but I ain’t got no time. The baron’ll be missin’ me. [_He goes but, having arrived at the door, he turns back._] The lightenin’ is goin’ to strike, Mrs. Wolff. Take my word for that!
MRS. WOLFF
I guess a screw’s come loose somewhere with him.
[_Pause._
ADELAIDE
What’s that I gotta say? I forgot.
MRS. WOLFF
What did you say to Mr. Krueger?
ADELAIDE
Why, I said that I found this here package.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, you don’t need to say nothin’ but that here neither. Only say it right out strong an’ sure. You ain’t such a mouse other times.
WULKOW
[_Comes in._] I wish you a good morning.
MRS. WOLFF
[_Stares at WULKOW. She is speechless for a moment. Then:_] No, Wulkow, I guess you lost _your_ mind! What are you doin’ here?
WULKOW
Well, my wife, she has a baby …
MRS. WOLFF
What’s that she’s got?
WULKOW
A little girl. So I gotta go to the public registry an’ make the announcement.
MRS. WOLFF
I thought you’d be out on the canal by this time.
WULKOW
An’ I wouldn’t mind it one little bit if I was! An’ so I _would_ be, if it depended on me. Didn’t I go an’ starts out the very minute? But when I come to the locks there wasn’t no gettin’ farther. I waited an’ waited for the Spree to open up. Two days an’ nights I lay there till this thing with my wife came along. There wasn’t no use howlin’ then. I had to come back.
MRS. WOLFF
So your boat is down by the bridge again?
WULKOW
That’s where it is. I ain’t got no other place, has I?
MRS. WOLFF
Well, don’t come to me, if …
WULKOW
I hope they ain’t caught on to nothin’, at least.
MRS. WOLFF
Go to the shop an’ get three cents’ worth o’ thread.
ADELAIDE
I’ll go for that when we get home.
MRS. WOLFF
Do’s I tell you an’ don’t answer back.
ADELAIDE
Aw, I ain’t no baby no more.
[_Exit._
MRS. WOLFF
[_Eagerly._] An’ so you lay there by the locks?
WULKOW
Two whole days, as I been tellin’ you.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, you ain’t much good for this kind o’ thing. You’re a fine feller to go an’ put on that coat in bright daylight!
WULKOW
Put it on? Me?
MRS. WOLFF
Yes, you put it on, an’ in bright daylight, so’s the whole place c’n know straight off what a fine fur coat you got.
WULKOW
Aw, that was ‘way out in the middle o’ the–
MRS. WOLFF
It was a quarter of a hour from our house. My girl saw you sittin’ there. She had to go an’ row Dr. Fleischer out an’ he went an’ had his suspicion that minute.
WULKOW
I don’t know nothin’ about that. That ain’t none o’ my business.
[_Some one is heard approaching._
MRS. WOLFF
Sh! You want to be on the lookout now, that’s all.
GLASENAPP
[_Enters hurriedly with an attempt to imitate the manner of the justice. He asks WULKOW condescendingly:_] What business have you?
WEHRHAHN
[_Still without._] What do you want, girl? You’re looking for me? Come in, then. [_WEHRHAHN permits ADELAIDE to precede him and then enters._] I have very little time to-day. Ah, yes, aren’t you Mrs. Wolff’s little girl? Well, then, sit down. What have you there?
ADELAIDE
I got a package …
WEHRHAHN
Wait a moment first … [_To WULKOW._] What do you want?
WULKOW
I’d like to report the birth of …
WEHRHAHN
Matter of the public registry. The books, Glasenapp. That is to say, I’ll attend to the other affair first. [_To MRS. WOLFF._] What’s the trouble about your daughter? Did Mr. Krueger box her ears again?
MRS. WOLFF
Well, he didn’t go that far no time.
WEHRHAHN
What’s the trouble, then?
MRS. WOLFF
It’s about this here package …
WEHRHAHN
[_To GLASENAPP._] Hasn’t Motes been here yet?
GLASENAPP
Not up to this time.
WEHRHAHN
That’s incomprehensible. Well, girl, what do you want?
GLASENAPP
It’s in the matter of the stolen fur coat, your honour.
WEHRHAHN
Is that so? Can’t possibly attend to that today. No one can do everything at once. [_To MRS. WOLFF._] She may come in to-morrow.
MRS. WOLFF
She’s tried to talk to you a couple o’ times already.
WEHRHAHN
Then let her try for a third time to-morrow.
MRS. WOLFF
But Mr. Krueger don’t give her no peace no more.
WEHRHAHN
What has Mr. Krueger to do with it?
MRS. WOLFF
The girl went to him with the package.
WEHRHAHN
What kind of a rag is that? Let me see it.
MRS. WOLFF
It’s all connected with the business of the fur coat. Leastways that’s what Mr. Krueger thinks.
WEHRHAHN
What’s wrapped up in those rags, eh?
MRS. WOLFF
There’s a green waist-coat what belongs to Mr. Krueger.
WEHRHAHN
And you found that?
ADELAIDE
I found it, your honour.
WEHRHAHN
Where did you find it?
ADELAIDE
That was when I was goin’ to the train with mama. I was walkin’ along this way and there …
WEHRHAHN
Never mind about that now. [_To MRS. WOLFF._] Make your deposition some time soon. We can come back to this matter to-morrow.
MRS. WOLFF
Oh, _I’m_ willin’ enough …
WEHRHAHN
Well, who isn’t then?
MRS. WOLFF
Mr. Krueger is so very anxious about it.
WEHRHAHN
Mr. Krueger, Mr. Krueger–I care very little about him. The man just simply annoys me. Things like this cannot be adjusted in a day. He has offered a reward and the matter has been published in the official paper.
MRS. WOLFF
You can’t never do enough for him, though.
WEHRHAHN
What does that mean: we can’t do enough for him? We have recorded the facts in the case. His suspicions fell upon his washerwoman and we have searched her house. What more does he want? The man ought to keep quiet. But, as I said, to-morrow I’m at the service of this affair again.
MRS. WOLFF
It’s all the same to us. We c’n come back.
WEHRHAHN
Very well, then. To-morrow morning.
MRS. WOLFF
Good mornin’.
ADELAIDE
[_Dropping a courtsey._] Good mornin’.
_MRS. WOLFF and ADELAIDE exeunt._
WEHRHAHN
[_Turning over some documents. To GLASENAPP._] I’m curious to see what the result of all this will be. Mr. Motes has finally agreed to offer witnesses. He says the Dreier woman, that old witch of a pastry cook, once stood within earshot when Fleischer expressed himself disrespectfully. How old is the woman, anyhow?
GLASENAPP
Somewhere around seventy, your honour.
WEHRHAHN
A bit confused in her upper story, eh?
GLASENAPP
Depends on how you look at it. She’s fairly sensible yet.
WEHRHAHN
I can assure you, Glasenapp, that it would be no end of a satisfaction to me to flutter these dove-cotes here pretty thoroughly. These people ought to be made to feel that they’re dealing with somebody, after all. Who absented himself from the festivities on the emperor’s birthday? Fleischer, of course. The man is simply capable of anything. He can put on all the innocent expressions he pleases. We know these wolves in sheep’s clothing. They’re too sweet-tempered to harm a fly, but if they think the occasion has come, the hounds can blow up a whole place. Well, here, at least, it will be made too hot for them!
MOTES
[_Comes in._] Your servant.
WEHRHAHN
Well, how are things going?
MOTES
Mrs. Dreier said that she would be here around eleven.
WEHRHAHN
This matter will attract quite a little notice. It will, is fact, make a good deal of noise. I know what will be said: “That man Wehrhahn pokes his nose into everything.” Well, thank heaven, I’m prepared for that. I’m not standing in this place for my private amusement. I haven’t been put here for jest. People think–a justice, why he’s nothing but a superior kind of gaoler. In that case they can put some one else here. The gentlemen, to be sure, who appointed me know very well with whom they are dealing. They know to the full the seriousness with which I conceive of my duties. I consider my office in the light of a sacred calling. [_Pause._] I have reduced my report to the public prosecutor to writing. If I send it off at noon to-day, the command of arrest can reach us by day after to-morrow.
MOTES
Now everybody will be coming down on me.
WEHRHAHN
You know I have an uncle who is a chamberlain. I’ll talk to him about you. Confound it all! There comes Fleischer! What does that fellow want? Does he smell a rat by any chance? [_A knocking is heard and WEHRHAHN shouts:_] Come in!
FLEISCHER
[_Enters, pale and excited._] Good morning! [_He receives no answer._] I should like to lodge information which has reference to the robbery recently committed here.
WEHRHAHN
[_With his most penetrating official glance._] You are Dr. Joseph Fleischer?
FLEISCHER
Quite right. My name is Joseph Fleischer.
WEHRHAHN
And you come to give me some information.
FLEISCHER
If you will permit me, that is what I should like to do. I have made an observation which may, quite possibly, help the authorities to track down the thief in question.
WEHRHAHN
[_Drums on the table with his fingers. He looks around at the others with an expression of affected surprise which tempts them to laughter._] What is this important observation which you have made?
FLEISCHER
Of course, if you have previously made up your mind to attach no importance to my evidence, I should prefer …
WEHRHAHN
[_Quickly and arrogantly._] What would you prefer?
FLEISCHER
To hold my peace.
WEHRHAHN
[_Turns to MOTES with a look expressive of inability to understand FLEISCHER’S motives. Then, in a changed tone, with very superficial interest._] My time is rather fully occupied. I would request you to be as brief as possible.
FLEISCHER
My time is no less preëmpted. Nevertheless I considered it my duty …
WEHRHAHN
[_Interrupting._] You considered it your duty. Very well. Now tell us what you know.
FLEISCHER
[_Conquering himself._] I went boating yesterday. I had taken Mrs. Wolff’s boat and her daughter was rowing.
WEHRHAHN
Are these details necessarily pertinent to the business in hand?
FLEISCHER
They certainly are–in my opinion.
WEHRHAHN
[_Drumming impatiently on the table._] Very well! Very well! Let’s get on!
FLEISCHER
We rowed to the neighbourhood of the locks. A lighter lay at anchor there. The ice, we were able to observe, was piled up there. The lighter had probably not been able to proceed.
WEHRHAHN
H-m. Is that so? That interests us rather less. What is the kernel of this whole story?
FLEISCHER
[_Keeping his temper by main force._] I must confess that this method of … I have come here quite voluntarily to offer a voluntary service to the authorities.
GLASENAPP
[_Impudently._] His honour is pressed for time. You are to talk less and state what you have to say briefly and compactly.
WEHRHAHN
[_Vehemently._] Let’s get to business at once. What is it you want?
FLEISCHER
[_Still mastering himself._] I am concerned that the matter be cleared up. And in the interest of old Mr. Krueger, I will …
WEHRHAHN
[_Yawning and bored._] The light dazzles me; do pull down the shades.
FLEISCHER
On the lighter was an old boatman–probably the owner of the vessel.
WEHRHAHN
[_Yawning as before._] Yes, most probably.
FLEISCHER
This man sat on his deck in a fur coat which, at a distance, I considered a beaver coat.
WEHRHAHN
[_Bored._] I might have taken it to be marten.
FLEISCHER
I pulled as close up to him as possible and thus gained a very good view. The man was a poverty-stricken, slovenly boatman and the fur coat seemed by no means appropriate. It was, in addition, a perfectly new coat …
WEHRHAHN
[_Apparently recollecting himself._] I am listening, I am listening! Well? What else?
FLEISCHER
What else? Nothing.
WEHRHAHN
[_Waking up thoroughly._] I thought you wanted to lodge some information. You mentioned something important.
FLEISCHER
I have said all that I had to say.
WEHRHAHN
You have told us an anecdote about a boatman who wears a fur coat. Well, boatmen do, no doubt, now and then wear such coats. There is nothing new or interesting about that.
FLEISCHER
You may think about that as you please. In such circumstances I have no more to say.
[_Exit._
WEHRHAHN
Well now, did you ever see anything like that? Moreover, the fellow is a thorough fool. A boatman had on a fur coat! Why, has the man gone mad? I possess a beaver coat myself. Surely that doesn’t make me a thief.–Confound it all! What’s that again? I suppose I am to get no rest to-day at all! [_To MITTELDORF, who is standing by the door._] Don’t let anyone else in now! Mr. Motes, do me the favour of going over to my apartment. We can have our discussion there without interruptions. There’s Krueger for the hundred and first time. He acts as though he’d been stung by a tarantula. If that old ass continues to plague me, I’ll kick him straight out of this room some day.
_In the open door KRUEGER becomes visible, together with FLEISCHER and MRS. WOLFF._
MITTELDORF
[_To KRUEGER._] His honour can’t be seen, Mr. Krueger.
KRUEGER
Nonsense! Not to be seen! I don’t care for such talk at all. [_To the others._] Go right on, right on! I’d like to see!
_All enter, KRUEGER leading the way._
WEHRHAHN
I must request that there be somewhat more quiet. As you see, I am having a conference at present.
KRUEGER
Go right ahead with it. We can wait. Later you can then have a conference with us.
WEHRHAHN
[_To MOTES._] Over in my apartment, then, if you please. And if you see Mrs. Dreier, tell her I had rather question her there too. You see for yourself: it isn’t possible here.
KRUEGER
[_Pointing to FLEISCHER._] This gentleman knows something about Mrs. Dreier too. He has some documentary evidence.
MOTES
Your honour’s servant. I take my leave.
[_Exit._
KRUEGER
That’s a good thing for _that_ man to take.
WEHRHAHN
You will kindly omit remarks of that nature.
KRUEGER
I’ll say that again. The man is a swindler.
WEHRHAHN
[_As though he had not heard, to WULKOW._] Well, what is it? I’ll get rid of you first. The records, Glasenapp!–Wait, though! I’ll relieve myself of this business first. [_To KRUEGER._] I will first attend to your affair.
KRUEGER
Yes, I must ask you very insistently to do so.
WEHRHAHN
Suppose we leave that “insistently” quite out of consideration. What request have you to make?
KRUEGER
None at all. I have no request to make. I am here in order to demand what is my right.
WEHRHAHN
Your right? Ah, what is that, exactly?
KRUEGER
My good right. I have been robbed and it is my right that the local authorities aid me in recovering my stolen possessions.
WEHRHAHN
Have you been refused such assistance?
KRUEGER
Certainly not. And that is not possible. Nevertheless, it is quite clear that nothing is being done. The whole affair is making no progress.
WEHRHAHN
You imagine that things like that can be done in a day or two.
KRUEGER
I don’t imagine anything, your honour. I have very definite proofs. You are taking no interest in my affairs.
WEHRHAHN
I could interrupt you at this very point. It lies entirely beyond the duties of my office to listen to imputations of that nature. For the present, however, you may continue.
KRUEGER
You could not interrupt me at all. As a citizen of the Prussian state I have my rights. And even if you interrupt me here, there are other places where I could make my complaint. I repeat that you are not showing any interest in my affair.
WEHRHAHN
[_Apparently calm._] Suppose you prove that.
KRUEGER
[_Pointing to MRS. WOLFF and her daughter._] This woman here came to you. Her daughter made a find. She didn’t shirk the way, your honour, although she is a poor woman. You turned her off once before and she came back to-day …
MRS. WOLFF
But his honour didn’t have no time, you know.
WEHRHAHN
Go on, please!
KRUEGER
I will. I’m not through yet by any means. What did you say to the woman? You said to her quite simply that you had no time for the matter in question. You did not even question her daughter. You don’t know the slightest circumstance: you don’t know anything about the entire occurrence.
WEHRHAHN
I will have to ask you to moderate yourself a little.
KRUEGER
My expressions are moderate; they are extremely moderate. I am far too moderate, your honour. My entire character is far too full of moderation. If it were not, what do you think I would say? What kind of an investigation is this? This gentleman here, Dr. Fleischer, came to you to report an observation which he has made. A boatman wears a beaver coat …
WEHRHAHN
[_Raising his hand._] Just wait a moment. [_To WULKOW._] You are a boatman, aren’t you?
WULKOW
I been out on the river for thirty years.
WEHRHAHN
Are you nervous? You seem to twitch.
WULKOW
I reely did have a little scare. That’s a fac’.
WEHRHAHN
Do the boatmen on the Spree frequently wear fur coats?
WULKOW
A good many of ’em has fur coats. That’s right enough.
WEHRHAHN
This gentleman saw a boatman who stood on his deck wearing a fur coat.
WULKOW
There ain’t nothin’ suspicious about that, your honour. There’s many as has fine coats. I got one myself, in fac’.
WEHRHAHN
You observe: the man himself owns a fur coat.
FLEISCHER
But then he hasn’t exactly a beaver coat.
WEHRHAHN
You were not in a position to discover that.
KRUEGER
What? Has this man a beaver coat?
WULKOW
There’s many of ’em, I c’n tell you, as has the finest beaver coats. An’ why not? We makes enough.
WEHRHAHN
[_Filled with a sense of triumph but pretending indifference._] Exactly. [_Lightly._] Now, please go on, Mr. Krueger. That was only a little side-play. I simply wanted to make clear to you the value of that so-called “observation.”–You see now that this man himself owns a fur coat. [_More violently._] Would it therefore occur to us in our wildest moments to assert that he has stolen the coat? That would simply be an absurdity.
KRUEGER
Wha–? I don’t understand a word.
WEHRHAHN
Then I must talk somewhat louder still. And since I am talking to you now, there’s something else I might as well say to you–not in my capacity as justice, but simply man to man, Mr. Krueger. A man who is after all an honourable citizen should be more chary of his confidence–he should not adduce the evidence of people …
KRUEGER
Are you talking about my associates? _My_ associates?
WEHRHAHN
Exactly that.
KRUEGER
In that case you had better take care of yourself. People like Motes, with whom you associate, were kicked out of my house.
FLEISCHER
I was obliged to show the door to this person whom you receive in your private apartment!
KRUEGER
He cheated me out of my rent.
MRS. WOLFF
There ain’t many in this village that that man ain’t cheated all ways–cheated out o’ pennies an’ shillin’s, an’ crowns an’ gold pieces.
KRUEGER
He has a regular system of exacting tribute.
FLEISCHER
[_Pulling a document out of his pocket._] More than that, the fellow is ripe for the public prosecutor. [_He places the document on the table._] I would request you to read this through.
KRUEGER
Mrs. Dreier has signed that paper herself. Motes tried to inveigle her into committing perjury.
FLEISCHER
She was to give evidence against me.
KRUEGER
[_Putting his hand on FLEISCHER’S arm._] This gentleman is of unblemished conduct and that scoundrel wanted to get him into trouble. And you lend your assistance to such things!
**All speak at once.**
WEHRHAHN
My patience is exhausted now. Whatever dealings you may have with Motes don’t concern me and are entirely indifferent to me. [_To FLEISCHER._] You’ll be good enough to remove that rag!
KRUEGER
[_Alternately to MRS. WOLFF and to GLASENAPP._] That man is his honour’s friend: that is his source of information. A fine situation. We might better call him a source of defamation!
FLEISCHER
[_To MITTELDORF._] I’m not accountable to any one. It’s my own business what I do; it’s my own business with whom I associate; it’s my own business what I choose to think and write!
GLASENAPP
Why you can’t hear your own words in this place no more! Your honour, shall I go an’ fetch a policeman? I can run right over and get one. Mitteldorf!…
**End all**
WEHRHAHN
Quiet, please! [_Quiet is restored. To FLEISCHER._] You will please remove that rag.
FLEISCHER
[_Obeys._] That rag, as you call it, will be forwarded to the public prosecutor.
WEHRHAHN
You may do about that exactly as you please. [_He arises and takes from a case in the wall the package brought by MRS. WOLFF._] Let us finally dispose of this matter, then. [_To MRS. WOLFF._] Where did you find this thing?
MRS. WOLFF
It ain’t me that found it at all.
WEHRHAHN
Well, who did find it?
MRS. WOLFF
My youngest daughter.
WEHRHAHN
Well, why didn’t you bring her with you then?
MRS. WOLFF
She was here, all right, your honour. An’ then, I c’n go over an’ fetch her in a minute.
WEHRHAHN
That would only serve to delay the whole business again. Didn’t the girl tell you anything about it?
KRUEGER
You said it was found on the way to the railway station.
WEHRHAHN
In that case the thief is probably in Berlin, That won’t make our search any easier.
KRUEGER
I don’t believe that at all, your honour, Mr. Fleischer seems to me to have an entirely correct opinion. The whole business with the package is a trick meant to mislead us.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, well. That’s mighty possible.
WEHRHAHN
Now, Mrs. Wolff, you’re not so stupid as a rule. Things that are stolen here go in to Berlin. That fur coat was sold in Berlin before we even knew that it was stolen.
MRS. WOLFF
No, your honour, I can’t help it, but I ain’t quite, not quite of the same opinion. If the thief is in Berlin, why, I ax, does he have to go an’ lose a package like that?
WEHRHAHN
Such things are not always lost intentionally.
MRS. WOLFF
Just look at that there package. It’s all packed up so nice–the vest, the key, an’ the bit o’ paper …
KRUEGER
I believe the thief to be in this very place.
MRS. WOLFF
[_Confirming him._] Well, you see, Mr. Krueger.
KRUEGER
I firmly believe it.
WEHRHAHN
Sorry, but I do not incline to that opinion. My experience is far too long …
KRUEGER
What? A long experience? H-m!
WEHRHAHN
Certainly. And on the basis of that experience I know that the chance of the coat being here need scarcely be taken into account.
MRS. WOLFF
Well, well, we shouldn’t go an’ deny things that way, your honour.
KRUEGER
[_Referring to FLEISCHER._] And then he saw the boatman …
WEHRHAHN
Don’t bother me with that story. I’d have to go searching people’s houses every day with twenty constables and policemen, I’d have to search every house in the village.
MRS. WOLFF
Then you better go an’ start with my house, your honour.
WEHRHAHN
Well, isn’t that ridiculous? No, no, gentlemen: that’s not the way. That method will lead us nowhither, now or later. You must give me entire freedom of action. I have my own suspicions and will continue to make my observations. There are a number of shady characters here on whom I have my eye. Early in the morning they ride in to Berlin with heavy baskets on their backs, and in the evening they bring home the same baskets empty.
KRUEGER
I suppose you mean the vegetable hucksters. That’s what they do.
WEHRHAHN
Not only the vegetable hucksters, Mr. Krueger. And I have no doubt but that your coat travelled in the same way.
MRS. WOLFF
That’s possible, all right. There ain’t nothin’ impossible in _this_ world, I tell you.
WEHRHAHN
Well, then! Now, what did you want to announce?
WULKOW
A little girl, your honour.
WEHRHAHN
I will do all that is possible.
KRUEGER
I won’t let the matter rest until I get back my coat.
WEHRHAHN
Well, whatever can be done will be done. Mrs. Wolff can use her ears a little.
MRS. WOLFF
The trouble is I don’t know how to act like a spy. But if things like that don’t come out–there ain’t no sayin’ what’s safe no more.
KRUEGER
You are quite right, Mrs. Wolff, quite right. [_To WEHRHAHN._] I must ask you to examine that package carefully. The handwriting on the slip that was found in it may lead to a discovery. And day after to-morrow morning, your honour, I will take the liberty of troubling you again. Good morning!
[_Exit._
FLEISCHER
Good morning.
[_Exit._
WEHRHAHN
[_To WULKOW._] How old are you?–There’s something wrong with those two fellows up here. [_He touches his forehead. To WULKOW._] What is your name?
WULKOW
August Philip Wulkow.
WEHRHAHN
[_To MITTELDORF._] Go over to my apartment. That Motes is still sitting there and waiting. Tell him I am sorry but I have other things to do this morning.
MITTELDORF
An’ you don’t want him to wait?
WEHRHAHN
[_Harshly._] No, he needn’t wait!
[_MITTELDORF, exit._
WEHRHAHN
[_To MRS. WOLFF._] Do you know this author Motes?
MRS. WOLFF
When it comes to people like that, your honour, I’d rather go an’ hold my tongue. There ain’t much good that I could tell you.
WEHRHAHN
[_Ironically._] But you could tell me a great deal that’s good about Fleischer.
MRS. WOLFF
He ain’t no bad sort, an’ that’s a fac’.
WEHRHAHN
I suppose you’re trying to be a bit careful in what you say.
MRS. WOLFF
No, I ain’t much good at that. I’m right out with things, your honour. If I hadn’t always gone an’ been right out with what I got to say, I might ha’ been a good bit further along in the world.
WEHRHAHN
That policy has never done you any harm with me.
MRS. WOLFF
No, not with you, your honour. You c’n stand bein’ spoken to honest. Nobody don’t need to be sneaky ’round you.
WEHRHAHN
In short: Fleischer is a man of honour.
MRS. WOLFF
That he is! That he is!
WEHRHAHN
Well, you remember my words of to-day.
MRS. WOLFF
An’ you remember mine.
WEHRHAHN
Very well. The future will show. [_He stretches himself, gets up, and stamps his feet gently on the floor. To WULKOW._] This is our excellent washerwoman. She thinks that all people are like herself. [_To MRS. WOLFF._] But unfortunately the world is differently made. You see human beings from the outside; a man like myself has learned to look a little deeper. [_He takes a few paces, then stops before her and lays his hand on her shoulder._] And as surely as it is true when I say: Mrs. Wolff is an honest woman; so surely I tell you: this Dr. Fleischer of yours, of whom we were speaking, is a thoroughly dangerous person!
MRS. WOLFF
[_Shaking her head resignedly._] Well, then I don’t know no more what to think …
THE CURTAIN FALLS
THE CONFLAGRATION
PERSONS:
FIELITZ, _Shoemaker and Spy. Near sixty years old._
MRS. FIELITZ, _formerly MRS. WOLFF, his wife. Of the same age._
LEONTINE, _her oldest daughter by her first marriage; unmarried; near thirty._
SCHMAROWSKI, _Architect._
LANGHEINRICH, _Smith. Thirty years old._
RAUCHHAUPT, _retired Prussian Constable._
GUSTAV, _his oldest son, a congenital imbecile._