MIEZE, LOTTE, TRUDE, LENCHEN, LIESCHEN, MARIECHEN, TIENCHEN, HANNCHEN, _his daughters._
DR. BOXER, _a vigorous man of thirty-six. Physician. Of Jewish birth._
VON WEHRHAHN, _Justice._
EDE, _Journeyman at LANGHEINRICH’S._
GLASENAPP, _Clerk in the Justice’s Court._
SCHULZE, _Constable._
MRS. SCHULZE, _his aunt._
TSCHACHE, _Constable._
A FIREMAN.
A BOY.
JANITOR OF THE COURT.
VILLAGE PEOPLE.
Scene: Anywhere in the neighbourhood of Berlin.
THE FIRST ACT
_The work shop of the shoemaker FIELITZ. A low room with blue tinted walls. A window to the right. In each of the other walls a door. Under the window at the right a small platform. Upon it a cobbler’s bench and a small table. On the latter a stand upholding three spheres of glass filled with water. Near them stands an unlit coal-oil lamp. In the corner, left, a brown tile oven surrounded by a bench and kitchen utensils of various kinds._
_SHOEMAKER FIELITZ is still crouching over his work. On the platform and around it old shoes and boots of every size are heaped up. FIELITZ is hammering a piece of leather into flexibility._
_MRS. FIELITZ (formerly MRS. WOLFF) is thoughtfully turning over in her hands a little wooden box and a stearin candle. It is toward evening, at the end of September._
FIELITZ
You get outta this here shop. Go on now!
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Briefly and contemptuously._] Who d’you think’ll come in here now? It’s past six.
FIELITZ
You get outta the shop with that trash o’ yours.
MRS. FIELITZ
I wish you wouldn’t act so like a fool. What’s wrong about this here little box, eh? A little box like this ain’t no harm.
FIELITZ
[_Working with enraged violence._] It’s somethin’ good, ain’t it now?
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Still thoughtfully and half in jest._] The sawdust comes up to here … An’ then they go an’ put a candle plumb in the middle here …
FIELITZ
Look here, ma, you’re too smart for me! If that there smartness o’ yours keeps on, I see myself in gaol one o’ these days.
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Harshly._] I s’ppose you can’t listen a bit when a person talks to you. You might pay some attention when I talks to you. Things like that interest a body.
FIELITZ
I takes an interest in my boots, an’ I don’t take no interest in nothin’ else.
MRS. FIELITZ
That’s it! O Lordy! That’d be a nice state for us. We’d all go an’ starve together. Your cobblin’–there’s a lot o’ good in that!–They puts the candle in here. Y’understand? This here little box ain’t big enough neither. That one over there would be more like. Let’s throw them children’s shoes out.
[_She turns a box full of children’s shoes upside down._
FIELITZ
[_Frightened._] Don’t you go in for no nonsense, y’understand?
MRS. FIELITZ
An’ then when they’ve lit the candle–… then they stands it up in the middle o’ the box, so’s it can’t burn the top, o’ course. Then you puts it, reel still, up in some attic–Grabow didn’t do that different neither–right straight in a heap o’ old trash–an’ then you goes quiet to Berlin, an’ when you comes back …
FIELITZ
Ssh! Somebody’s comin’! Ssh!
MRS. FIELITZ
An’ the devil hisself can’t go an’ prove nothin’ against you.
[_A protracted silence._
FIELITZ
If it was as simple as all that! But that ain’t noways as easy as you thinks. First of all there’s got to be air-holes in here. O’ course this here awl–: that’ll do for a drill. That thing’s got to have a draught, if you want it to catch! If there ain’t no draught, it just smothers! Fire’s gotta have a draught or it won’t burn. Somebody’s got to lend a hand here as knows somethin’.
MRS. FIELITZ
Well, that’d be an easy thing for you!
FIELITZ
[_Forgetting his point of view in his growing zeal._] There’s gotta be a draught here an’ another here! An’ it’s all gotta be done just right! An’ then sawdust an’ rags here. An’ then you go an’ pour some kerosene right in.–There ain’t nothin’ new in all that. I was out in the world for six years.
MRS. FIELITZ
Well, exactly. That’s what I been sayin’.
FIELITZ
You c’n do that with a sponge an’ you c’n do that with a string. All you gotta do is to steep ’em good an’ hard in saltpetre. An’ you c’n light that with burning glasses. It c’n be done twenty steps away!–All that’s been done before now. There ain’t nothin’ new in all that to me. I know all about it.
MRS. FIELITZ
An’ Grabow’s built up again. If he hadn’t gone an’ taken his courage in both hands, he’d ha’ been in the street long ago.
FIELITZ
That’s all right, if a man’s in trouble like water up to his neck an’ is goin’ to be drowned. Maybe then …
MRS. FIELITZ
An’ there’s many as lets the time slip till he is drowned.
[_The doorbell rings._
FIELITZ
Go an’ put the box away an’ then open the door.
_JUSTICE VON WEHRHAHN enters, wearing a thick overcoat, tall boots and a fur cap._
WEHRHAHN
Evening, Fielitz! How about those boots?
FIELITZ
They’s all right, your honour.
MRS. FIELITZ
You better go an’ get a little light so’s Mr. von Wehrhahn can see somethin’.
WEHRHAHN
Well, how is everything and what are you doing, Mrs. Wolff?
MRS. FIELITZ
I ain’t no Mrs. Wolff no more.
WEHRHAHN
She’s grown very proud, eh, Fielitz? She carries her head very high? She feels quite set up?
MRS. FIELITZ
Hear that! Marryin’s gone to my head? I could ha’ lived much better as a widder.
FIELITZ
[_Who has drawn the lasts out of WEHRHAHN’S boots._] Then you might ha’ gone an’ stayed a widder.
MRS. FIELITZ
If I’d ha’ known what kind of a feller you are, I wouldn’t ha’ been in no hurry. I could ha’ gotten an old bandy-legged crittur like you any day o’ the week.
WEHRHAHN
Gently, gently!
FIELITZ
Never you mind her. [_With almost creeping servility._] If you’ll be so very kind, your honour, an’ have the goodness to pull off your right boot. If you’ll let me; I c’n do that. So. An’ if you’ll be so good now an’ put your foot on this here box.
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Holding the burning lamp._] An’ how is the Missis, Baron?
WEHRHAHN
Thank you, she’s quite well. But she’s still lamenting her Mrs. Wolff …
MRS. FIELITZ
Well, you see, I couldn’t do that no more reely. I washed thirty years an’ over for you. You c’n get enough o’ anything in that time, I tell you. I c’n show you my legs some day. The veins is standin’ out on ’em, thick as your fist. That comes from the everlastin’ standin’ up at the tub! An’ I got frost boils all over me and the rheumatiz in every limb. They ain’t no end to the doctorin’ I gotta do! I just gotta wrap myself up in cotton, an’ anyhow I’m cold all day.
WEHRHAHN
Certainly, Mrs. Wolff, I can well believe that.
MRS. FIELITZ
There was a time an’ I’d work against anybody. I had a constitootion! You couldn’t ha’ found one in ten like it. But nowadays … O Lord! Things is lookin’ different.
FIELITZ
You c’n holler a little louder if you want to.
WEHRHAHN
I can’t blame you, of course, Mrs. Fielitz. Any one who has worked as you have may well consider herself entitled to some rest.
MRS. FIELITZ
An’ then, you see, things keep goin’. We got our livin’ right along. [_She give FIELITZ a friendly nudge on the head._] An’ he does his part all right now. We ain’t neither of us lazy, so to speak. If only a body could keep reel well! But Saturday I gotta go to the doctor again. He goes and electrilises me with his electrilising machine, you know. I ain’t sayin’ but what it helps me. But first of all there’s the expenses of the trip in to Berlin an’ then every time he electrilises me that costs five shillin’s. Sometimes, you know, a person, don’t know where to get the money.
FIELITZ
You go ahead an’ ram your money down doctors’ throats!
WEHRHAHN
[_Treads firmly with his new shoe._] None of us are getting any younger, Mrs. Fielitz. I’m beginning to feel that quite distinctly myself. Perfectly natural. Nothing to be done about it. We’ve simply got to make up our minds to that.–And, anyhow, you oughtn’t to complain. I heard it said a while ago that your son-in-law had passed his examinations very well. In that case everything is going according to your wishes.
MRS. FIELITZ
That’s true, of course, an’ it did make me reel happy too. In the first place he’ll be able to get along much better now that he’s somethin’ like an architect … an’ then, he deserved it all ways.–The kind o’ time he had when he was a child! Well, I ain’t had no easy time neither, but a father like that …
WEHRHAHN
Schmarowski is a fellow of solid worth. I never had any fears for him. Your Adelaide was very lucky there.–You remember my telling you so at the time. You came running over to me that time, you recall, when the engagement was almost broken, and I sent you to Pastor Friederici:–that shows you the value of spiritual advice. A young man is a young man and however Christian and upright his life, he’s apt to forget himself once in a while. That’s where the natural function of the spiritual adviser comes in.
MRS. FIELITZ
Yes, yes, I s’ppose you’re right enough there. An’ I’ll never forget what the pastor did for us that time! If Schmarowski had gone an’ left the girl, she’d never have lived through it, that’s certain.
WEHRHAHN
There we’ve got an instance of what happens when a church and a pastor are in a place. The house of God that we’ve built together has brought many a blessing. So, good evening and good luck to you.–Oh, what I was going to say, Fielitz: the celebration takes place on Monday morning. You will be there surely?
MRS. FIELITZ
Naturally he’ll come.
FIELITZ
Sure an’ certain.
WEHRHAHN
I would hardly know what to do without you, Fielitz. In the meantime, come in for a moment on Sunday, I’m proposing certain points … certain very marked points, and we must pull together vigorously. So, good evening! Don’t forget–we’ve got to have a strong parade.
FIELITZ
That’s right. You can’t do them things without one.
[_Exit WEHRHAHN._
FIELITZ
You go an’ take that candle out! Will you, please?
MRS. FIELITZ
You’re as easy scared as a rabbit, Anton! That’s what you are–a reg’lar rabbit.
_She takes the candle out of the little box. Almost at the same moment RAUCHHAUPT opens the door and looks in._
RAUCHHAUPT
Good evenin’. Am I intrudin’?
FIELITZ
— — — —
MRS. FIELITZ
Aw, come right into our parlour!
RAUCHHAUPT
Ain’t Langheinrich the smith come in yet?
MRS. FIELITZ
Was he goin’ to come? No, he ain’t been here.
RAUCHHAUPT
We made a special engagement.–I brought along the cross too. Here, Gustav! Bring that there cross in! [_GUSTAV brings in a cross of cast iron with an inscription on it._] Go an’ put it down on that there box.
FIELITZ
[_Quickly._] No, never mind, Edward, that’ll break.
RAUCHHAUPT
Then you c’n just lean it against the wall.
MRS. FIELITZ
So you got through with it at last. [_Calls out through the door._] Leontine! You come down a minute!
RAUCHHAUPT
Trouble is I had so much to do. I’m buildin’ a new hot house, you know.
MRS. FIELITZ
Another one, eh? Ain’t that a man for you! You’re a reg’lar mole, Rauchhaupt. The way that man keeps diggin’ around in the ground.
RAUCHHAUPT
A man feels best when he’s doin’ that. That’s what we’re all made of–earth: an that’s what we’re all goin’ to turn to again. Why shouldn’t we be diggin’ around in the earth? [_He helps himself from the snuff-box which FIELITZ holds out to him._] That’s got a earthy smell, too, Fielitz. That smells like good, fresh earth.
_LEONTINE enters. A pair of scissors hangs by her side; she has a thimble on her finger._
LEONTINE
Here I am, mama. What’s up?
MRS. FIELITZ
He just brought in papa his hephitaph.
_LEONTINE and MRS. FIELITZ regard the cross thoughtfully._
MRS. FIELITZ
Light the candle for me, girl. [_She hands her the tallow-candle with which she has been experimenting._] We wants to study the writin’ a bit.
RAUCHHAUPT
I fooled around with that thing a whole lot. But I got it to please me in the end. You c’n go an’ look through the whole cemetery three times over and you’ll come away knowin’ this is the finest inscription you c’n get. I went an’ convinced myself of that.
[_He sits down on the low platform and fills his nose anew with snuff._
_MRS. FIELITZ holds the lighted lamp and puzzles out the inscription._
MRS. FIELITZ
Here rests in …
LEONTINE
[_Reading on._] In God.
RAUCHHAUPT
That’s what I said: in God. I was goin’ to write first: in the Lord. But that’s gettin’ to be so common.
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Reads on with trembling voice._] Here rests in God the unforgotten carpenter … [_Weeping aloud._] Oh, no, I tell you, it’s too awful! That man–he was the best man in the world, he was. A man like that, you c’n take my word for it, you ain’t likely to find no more these days.
LEONTINE
[_Reading on._] … the unforgotten carpenter Mr. Julian Wolff …
[_She snivels._
FIELITZ
–Don’t you be takin’ on now, y’understand? No corpse ain’t goin’ to come to life for all your howlin’. [_He hands the whiskey bottle to RAUCHHAUPT._] Here, Edward, that’ll do you good. Them goin’s on don’t.
[_He gets up and brushes off his blue apron with the air of a man who has completed his day’s work._
RAUCHHAUPT
[_Pointing with the bottle._] Them lines there I made up myself. I’ll say ’em over for you; listen now:
“The hearts of all to sin confess” …
‘Tain’t everybody c’n do that neither!–
“The hearts of all to sin confess,
The beggar’s and the king’s no less. But this man’s heart from year to year
Was spotless and like water clear.”
[_The women weep more copiously. He continues._] I gotta go over that with white paint. An’ this part here about God is goin’ to be Prussian blue.
[_He drinks._
_The smith LANGHEINRICH enters._
LANGHEINRICH
[_Regarding LEONTINE desirously._] Well now, look here, Rauchhaupt, old man, I been lookin’ for you half an hour! I thought I was to come an’ fetch you, you chucklehead.–Well, are you pleased with the job?
MRS. FIELITZ
Oh, go an’ don’t bother me, any of you! If a person loses a man like that one, how’s she goin’ to get along with you jackasses afterwards!
FIELITZ
Come on, man, an’ pull up a stool. You just let her get back to her right mind.
LANGHEINRICH
[_With sly merriment._] That’s right, I always said so myself: this here dyin’ is a invention of the devil.
MRS. FIELITZ
We was married for twenty years an’ more. An’ there wasn’t so much as one angry word between us. An’ the way that man was honest. Not a penny, no,–he never cheated any man of a penny in all his days. An’ sober! He didn’t so much as know what whiskey was like. You could go an’ put the bottle before him an’ he wouldn’t look at it. An’ the way he brought up his children! What _d’you_ think about, but playin’ cards and swillin’ liquor …
LEONTINE
Gustav is poking out his tongue at me.
RAUCHHAUPT
[_Takes hold of a cobbler’s last and throws himself enragedly upon GUSTAV, who has been making faces at LEONTINE and has poked out his tongue at her.] You varmint! Ill break your bones!–That rotten crittur is goin’ to be the death o’ me yet. I just gets so mad sometimes I think it’s goin’ to be the death o’ me.
LANGHEINRICH
The poor crittur ain’t got his right senses.
RAUCHHAUPT
I wish to God the dam’ brat was dead. I’ll get so dam’ wild some day, if he ain’t, that I’ll go an’ kill my own flesh an’ blood.
FIELITZ
I’d go an’ have him locked up in the asylum. Then you don’t have the worry of him no more. D’you want me to write out a petition for you?
RAUCHHAUPT
Don’t I know all about petitions? What does they say then: he ain’t dangerous bein’ at large.–The whole world ain’t nothin’ but a asylum. It ain’t dangerous, o’ course, that he fires bricks at me, an’ unscrews locks and steals house keys–oh, no, that ain’t considered dangerous. No, an’ it’s all right for him to eat my tulip bulbs. I c’n just go ahead an’ do the best I can.
MRS. FIELITZ
How did that happen at Grabow’s the other day–I mean when his inn the “Prussian Eagle” burned down?
LANGHEINRICH
Aw, Grabow, he needed just that. It wasn’t no Gustav that set that there fire. He wasn’t needed there.
MRS. FIELITZ
They say he’s always playin’ with matches.
RAUCHHAUPT
Gustav an’ matches? Aw, that’s all right. If he c’n just go an’ hunt up matches some place, trouble ain’t very far off. You know I needs coverin’s for my hot house plants; so I built a kind of a shed. I stored the straw in there. Well, I tell you, Mrs. Fielitz, that there idjit went an’ burned the shed down. It was bright day an’ o’ course nobody wasn’t thinkin’, an’ I got loose boards all over my lot. The shed crackled right off. It wasn’t more’n a puff! But Grabow–he took care o’ his fire hisself.
MRS. FIELITZ
I’d give notice about a thing like that, Rauchhaupt–I mean burnin’ down the shed.
RAUCHHAUPT
I don’t get along so very well with Constable Schulze. That’s often the way with people in your own profession. I was honourably retired. He don’t like that. He ain’t sooted with that. All right; all that may be so. An’ that I own my own lot, an’ that my old woman died. Sure, it ain’t no use denyin’ it! I made a few crowns outta all that. An’ that my gardenin’ brings in somethin’–well, he don’t like to see it. So then it’s easy to say: Rauchhaupt? He don’t need no help. He c’n take care o’ hisself. An’ that’s the end of it.
MRS. FIELITZ
Fred Grabow, he’s all right now!
LANGHEINRICH
[_Eagerly._] An’ he’s got me to thank for it. Only thing is, I pretty near got into a dam’ mess myself that time. You see, I’m captain of the hook an’ ladder. Well, I says to my boys, says I:–I don’t know but I must ha’ had more’n I could carry. The whole crowd was pretty well full!–Well, I says to my boys: Sail right in an’ see that there ain’t a stone left standin’, ’cause if there is, Grabow’ll get one reduction of insurance after another an’ then the whole thing ain’t no good to him. I guess I hollered that out a bit too loud. So when I takes a step or two backward I thinks all hell’s broke loose, ’cause there stands Constable Schulze an’ stares at me. Your health, says I, your health, captain!–Grabow, you know, was treatin’ to beer!–An’ then Schulze was real sociable and took a drink with me.
MRS. FIELITZ
It’s queer that nothin’ don’t come out there. That fellow ain’t a bit cute. How did he manage to do it?
LANGHEINRICH
Everybody likes Fritz Grabow.
MRS. FIELITZ
He ain’t got sense enough to count up to three. An’ anyhow he had to go an’ take oath.
RAUCHHAUPT
Takin’ oath? Aw, that ain’t so much! I’ll just tell you how ’tis, ’cause you never can’t tell. Who knows about it? Anybody might have to do that some day. All you do is to twist off one o’ your breeches buttons while you goes ahead and swears reel quiet. You just try it. That’s easy as slidin’.
[_General laughter._
MRS. FIELITZ
He’s got one o’ his jokin’ spells again. I won’t have to go an’ twist off a button, I c’n tell you. Things can’t get that way with me.–But tell me this: whose turn is it goin’ to be now? It’s about time for somebody, you know. Somethin’s got to burn pretty soon now.
LANGHEINRICH
It could be most anybody. Things is lookin’ pretty poor over at Strombergers. The rain’s comin’ right down into his sittin’ room,–Well, good evenin’. A man’s got to have his joke.
MRS. FIELITZ
But who’s goin’ to drink my hot toddy now?
FIELITZ
You stay right where you are!
LANGHEINRICH
Can’t be done. I gotta be goin’. [_He puts an arm around LEONTINE, who frees herself carelessly and with a contemptuous expression._]–If mother don’t hear my hammerin’ downstairs she’ll be swimmin’ away in tears an’ the bed with her when I gets home.
LEONTINE
That’s nothin’ but jealousy, mama.
MRS. FIELITZ
Maybe it is, an’ maybe she’s got reason. You go on up to your work.–How is the Missis?
LANGHEINRICH
Pretty low. What c’n you expect?
LEONTINE
You’ll be drivin’ me to work till I gets consumption.
MRS. FIELITZ
If you get consumption, it won’t be your dress-makin’ that’s the cause of it. You act as much like a ninny as if you was a man.
LANGHEINRICH
[_Putting his arms around MRS. FIELITZ._] Come now, young woman, don’t be so cross! Young people wants to have their fling–that’s all. An’ they’ll have it, if it’s only with Constable Schulze.
[_Exit._
MRS. FIELITZ
Now what’s the meanin’ o’ that?
RAUCHHAUPT
Wait there a minute an’ I’ll join you.
[_He gets up and motions to GUSTAV, who lifts the iron cross again._
MRS. FIELITZ
Why d’you go an’ run off all of a sudden?
RAUCHHAUPT
I gotta go an’ get rid o’ some work.
[_Exit with GUSTAV.
MRS. FIELITZ
What’s the trouble with you an’ Langheinrich again? You act like a fool–that’s what you do!
LEONTINE
There ain’t no trouble. I want him to leave me alone.
MRS. FIELITZ
He’ll be willin’ to do that all right! If you’re goin’ to turn up your nose an’ wriggle around that way, you won’t have to take much trouble to get rid o’ him. He don’t need nothin’ like that!
LEONTINE
But he’s a married man.
MRS. FIELITZ
So he is. Let him be. You got no sense ’cause you was born a fool. You got a baby and no husband; Adelaide’s got a husband an’ no baby.
[_LEONTINE goes slowly out._
MRS. FIELITZ
If she’d only go an’ take advantage o’ her chances. There ain’t no tellin’ how soon Langheinrich’ll be a widower.
FIELITZ
I don’t know’s I like to see the way Constable Schulze runs after that girl.
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Sententiously._] You can’t run your head through no stone walls. [_She sits down, takes out a little notebook and turns its leaves._] You got a office. All right. Why shouldn’t you have? Things is _as_ they is. But havin’ a office you got to look out all around. You just let Constable Schulze alone! Did you read the letter from Schmarowski?
FIELITZ
Aw, yes, sure. I got enough o’ him all right. I wish somebody’d given me the money–half the money–that feller’s had the use of. But no: nobody never paid no attention to me. Nobody sent me to no school o’ architecture.
MRS. FIELITZ
I’d like to know what you got against Schmarowski! You’re pickin’ at him all the time.
FIELITZ
Hold on! Not me! He ain’t no concern o’ mine. But every time you open your mouth I gets ready to bet ten pairs o’ boots that you’re goin’ to talk about Schmarowski.
MRS. FIELITZ
Did he do you any harm, eh? Well?
FIELITZ
No, I can’t say as he has. Not that I know. An’ I wouldn’t advise him to try neither. Only when I sees him I gets kind o’ sick at my stomick. You oughta have married him yourself.
MRS. FIELITZ
If I had been thirty years younger–sure enough.
FIELITZ
Well, why don’t you go an’ move over to your daughter then! Go right on! Hurry all you can an’ go to Adelaide’s. Then they got hold of you good and tight an’ you c’n get rid o’ your savin’s.
MRS. FIELITZ
That’s an ambitious man. He don’t have to wait, for me; that’s sure!–there ain’t no gettin’ ahead with your kind. Instead o’ you fellows helpin’ each other, you’re always hittin’ out at each other. Now Schmarowski–he’s a wide-awake kind o’ man. No money ain’t been wasted on him. You needn’t be scared: he’ll make his way all right.–But if you knew just a speck o’ somethin’ about life, you’d know what you’d be doin’ too.
FIELITZ
Me? How’s that? Why me exactly?
MRS. FIELITZ
What was it that there bricklayer boss told me? I saw him one day when he was full; they was just raisin’ that church. He says: Schmarowski, says he, that’s a sly dog. An’ he knew why he was sayin’ that. Them plans o’ his takes ’em all in.
FIELITZ
I ain’t got no objection to his takin’ ’em in.
MRS. FIELITZ
He ain’t the kind o’ man to sit an’ draw till he’s blind an’ let the bricklayers get all the profit.
FIELITZ
Well, I ain’t made the world.
MRS. FIELITZ
No, nor you ain’t goin’ to stop it neither.
FIELITZ
An’ I don’t want to.
MRS. FIELITZ
You ain’t goin’ to stop it, Fielitz–not the world an’ not me. That’s settled.–
[_She has said this in a slightly ironical way, yet with a half embarrassed laugh. She now puts away her little book excitedly._
FIELITZ
I can’t get to understand reel straight. I’m always thinkin’ there’s somethin’ wrong with you.
MRS. FIELITZ
Maybe there was somethin’ wrong with Grabow too, eh? I s’ppose that’s the reason he’s livin’ in his new house this day.–I wish there’d be somethin’ like that wrong with you onct in a while. But if somebody don’t pull an’ poke at you, you’d grow fast to the stool you’re sittin’ on.
FIELITZ
[_With decision._] Mother, put that there thing outta your mind. I tell you that in kindness now. I ain’t goin’ to lend my help to no such thing. Because why? I knows what that means. Is I goin’ to jump into that kind of a mess again? No, I ain’t young enough for that no more.
MRS. FIELITZ
Just because you’re an old feller you oughta be thinkin’ about it all the more. How long are you goin’ to be able to work along here. You don’t get around to much no more now. You cobbled around on Wehrhahn’s shoes! It took more’n two weeks.
FIELITZ
Well, mother, you needn’t lie that way.
MRS. FIELITZ
That cobblin’ o’ yours–that ain’t worth a damn. I ain’t much good no more an’ you ain’t. That’s a fact. I don’t excep’ myself at all. An’ if people like us don’t go an’ get somethin’ they c’n fall back on, they got to go beggin’ in the end anyhow. You c’n kick against that all you want to.
FIELITZ
It’s a queer thing about you, mother. It’s just like as if the devil hisself got a hold o’ you. First it just sort o’ peeps up, an’ God knows where it comes from. Sometimes it’s there an’ sometimes it’s gone. An’ then it’ll come back again sudden like an’ then it gets hold o’ you an’ don’t let you go no more. I’ve known some tough customers in my time, mother, but when you gets took that way–then I tell you, you makes the cold shivers run down my back.
MRS. FIELITZ
[_Has taken out her notebook again and become absorbed in it._] What did you think about all this? We’re insured here for seven thousand.
FIELITZ
What I thought? I didn’t think nothin’.
MRS. FIELITZ
Well, there ain’t any value to this place excep’ what’s in the lot itself.
FIELITZ
[_Gets up and puts on his coat._] You just leave me alone, y’understand?
MRS. FIELITZ
Well, ain’t it true? You just stop your foolin’. I seen that long ago, before we was ever married. Schmarowski told me that ten times over, that this here is the proper place for a big house. An’ anybody as has any sense c’n see that it’s so. Now just look for yourself: over there, that’s the drug shop! An’ a bit across the way to the left is the post office. An’ then a little ways on is the baker an’ he’s built hisself a nice new shop. Four noo villas has gone up and if, some day, we gets the tramway out here–we’ll be right in the midst o’ things.
FIELITZ
[_About to go._] Good evenin’.
MRS. FIELITZ
Are you goin’ out this time o’ day?
FIELITZ
Yes, ’cause I can’t stand that no more.–If I’d known the kind of a crittur you are … only I didn’t know nothin’ about it … I’d ha’ thought this here marryin’ over a good bit–yes, a good bit.
MRS. FIELITZ
You? Is that what you’d ha’ thought over, eh?
FIELITZ
Is I goin’ to let myself be put up to things like that?…
MRS. FIELITZ
A whole lot o’ thinkin’ over you’d ha’ done! You ain’t done any thinkin’ all the days o’ your life. A great donkey like you … an’ thinkin’. Well! A fine mess would come of it if you took to thinkin’.
FIELITZ
Mother, I axes you to consider that …
MRS. FIELITZ
Put you up? To what? What is I puttin’ you up to?–This here old shed is goin’ to burn down sometime. It’s goin’ to burn down one time or ‘nother, if it don’t first come topplin’ down over our heads. It’s squeezed in here between the other houses in a way to make a person feel ashamed, if he looks at it.
FIELITZ
Mother, I axes you to consider …
MRS. FIELITZ
Aw, I wish you’d clear out o’ the front door this minute! I’m goin’ to pack up my things pretty soon too. An’ you c’n go over to the justice for all I care. I been puttin’ you up to things, you know!
FIELITZ
Mother, I axes you to consider that … Look out that you don’t go an’ get a black eye! ‘Cause I, if I …
MRS. FIELITZ
[_With a gesture as though about to push him out._] Get out! Just get out! It’ll be good riddance! The sooner the better! What are you dawdlin’ for?
FIELITZ
[_Beside himself._] Mother, I’ll hit you one across the … You’re goin’ to put me out, eh? What? Outta my shop? Is this here your shop? I’ll learn you! Just wait!
MRS. FIELITZ
Well, I’m waitin’. Why don’t you start? You’re that kind of a man, are you? Come right on! Come on now! You got the courage! I’ll hold my breath or maybe I’d blow you right into Berlin.
FIELITZ
[_Hurls a boot against the wall in his impotent rage._] I’ll break every stick in this here shop! To hell with the whole business: that’s what I says! I must ha’ been just ravin’ mad! There I goes an’ burdens myself with a devil of a woman like that, an’ I might ha’ lived as comfortable as can be! She killed off one husband an’ now I’m dam’ idjit enough, to take his place! But you’re goin’ to find out! It ain’t goin’ to be so easy this time! I’ll first kick you out before I’ll let you get the best o’ me! Not me! No, sir! You c’n believe that!
MRS. FIELITZ
You needn’t exert yourself that much, Fielitz …
FIELITZ
Not me! Not me! You c’n depend on that! You ain’t agoin’ to down me! You c’n take my word for it.
[_He sits down, exhausted._
MRS. FIELITZ
Maybe you might like throwin’ some more boots. There’s plenty of ’em around here–I s’ppose you married me for love, eh?
FIELITZ
God knows why I did!
MRS. FIELITZ
If you’ll go an’ study it out, maybe you’ll know why. Maybe it was out o’ pity? Eh? Maybe not.–Or maybe it was the money I had loaned out?–Well, you see! I s’ppose that was it.–You c’n live a hundred years for my part! But it’s always the same thing. ‘Twasn’t much different with Julius neither. If things had gone his way, I wouldn’t have nothin’ saved this day neither. The trouble is a person is too good to you fellers.
FIELITZ
An’ outta goodness you want me to go an’ take a match an’ set fire to the roof over my head?
MRS. FIELITZ
You knew that you’d have to go an’ build. I said that to myself right off, an’ buildin’ costs money. There ain’t no gettin’ away from that fact. An’ the few pennies we has ain’t more’n a beginnin’. If we had what you might call a real house here … Schmarowski, he’d build us one that’d make all the others look like nothin’ … you could have a fine shop here. We might put a few hundred dollars into it an’ sell factory shoes. If you’d want to take in repairing you could get a journeyman an’ put him here. An’ if you wanted to go an’ make some new shoes yourself, you could take the time for all I care.
FIELITZ
I don’t know! I s’ppose I ain’t got sense enough for them things. I thought I’d get hold o’ a bit o’ money … I thought I’d be able to lay out a bit o’ money! Buildin’ a little annex of a shop–that’s good fun. I thought it all out to myself like–with nice shelves and things like that … an’ I planned to hang up a big clock an’ such. An’ now you sit on your money bag like an old watch dog.
MRS. FIELITZ
That money–it ain’t to be thrown away so easy. ‘Twas earned too bitter hard for that.
FIELITZ
… You forgets that I’ve been in trouble before. Is I to go an’ get locked up again?
MRS. FIELITZ
Never mind, Fielitz, to-morrow is another day. A person mustn’t go an’ take things that serious! I was more’n half jokin’ anyhow.–Go over to Grabow’s an’ drink a glass o’ beer!… We must all be satisfied’s best we can. An’ even if you can’t go an’ open a shoe shop, an’ even if you gotta worry along cobblin’ an’ can’t buy no clock–well, a good conscience is worth somethin’ too.
THE CURTAIN FALLS
THE SECOND ACT
_The smithy of LANGHEINRICH. The little house protrudes at an angle into the village street. The shed that projects over the smithy is supported by wooden posts. The empty space below the shed is used for the storage of tools and materials. Wheels are leaned against the wood, a plough, wheel-tyres, pieces of pig iron, etc. An anvil stands in the open, too, and several working stools. From behind the house, jutting out diagonally, a wooden wagon is visible. The left front wheel has been taken off and a windlass supports the axle._
_Through the door that leads to the shop one sees smithy fires and bellows._
_Opposite the smithy, on the left side of the village street which, taking a turn, is lost to view in the background, there is a board fence. A small locked gate opens upon the street._
_A cloudy, windy day._
_DR. BOXER, in a slouch hat and light overcoat, stands holding a heavy smith’s hammer at arm’s length. EDE has a horseshoe in his right hand, a smaller hammer in his left, and is looking on._
EDE
[_Counts._] … twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four an’ one makes twenty-five an’ another makes twenty-six.–Great guns, you’re ahead o’ me now. An’ twenty-seven, an’ twenty-eight, an’ twenty-nine an’ thirty. My respects, Doctor. That’s all right. Is that the effect o’ the sea air?
DR. BOXER
It may be. You see I haven’t quite forgotten the trick.
EDE
No, you haven’t. That’s pretty good. Now let’s try it with weights, though. I c’n hold up a hundred an’ fifty pounds, Doctor. How about yourself?
DR. BOXER
I don’t know. It remains to be seen.
EDE
What? You think you c’n lift a hundred weight an’ a half? You’re a little bit of a giant, ain’t you? You didn’t learn that on board ship. I thought you travelled as a sawbones an’ not as a strong man!–Look at that little man over there goin’ into Mrs. Fielitz’ house. That’s her son-in-law.
DR. BOXER
He looks very much like a bishop.
EDE
Right enough! That’s what he is–Bishop Schmarowski.–You c’n knock! The old woman’s out and she took her cobbler with her. There won’t be nothin’ to get there to-day.–You see, Doctor, when that fellow goes there he wants money. If he weren’t hard up he wouldn’t come.
DR. BOXER
The Fielitzes went in to Berlin to-day; I met them this morning at the railway station. Tell me: _he_ isn’t quite right in his mind, is he?
EDE
How so? That wasn’t never noticed. He’s a pretty keen fellow … No, I couldn’t say that _he’s_ crazy.
DR. BOXER
He talked a mixture of idiotic nonsense and looked away from me while he was talking. The fellow looked like an evil conscience personified. But I don’t suppose he has a conscience.
EDE
By the way: that time they came down on you an’ made a search in your house–that fellow Fielitz had his hand in it. He helped get you into that pickle.
[_MRS. SCHULZE puts her head out at the attic window._
MRS. SCHULZE
Ede!
EDE
What?
MRS. SCHULZE
Ain’t Mr. Langheinrich back yet?
EDE
Well, o’ course he is, naturally. [_MRS. SCHULZE disappears and EDE withdraws under the shed._] Quick! Take this hammer, will you, Doctor, an’ hammer away a bit. If you kept up your strength the way you have, you ain’t forgot about that neither.
DR. BOXER
I went at locksmith’s work like the deuce when there was nothing to do on board ship. That gave me a very good chance.
EDE
You’re a doctor an’ you’re a smith an’ … I guess you’re a sausage maker too!
DR. BOXER
I even made sausages once.
EDE
Nobody didn’t want to eat them, I guess.
DR. BOXER
I wouldn’t have advised any one to do so either. The sausages were mainly filled with arsenic. The rats scarcely left us space to turn around in.
EDE
[_About to set to work._] Ugh! That wouldn’t be no kind o’ sausage for me. Come now, Doctor, go at it! We wants the missis to think that two people is workin’ here or she’ll never stop axin’ questions.
DR. BOXER
Where did Langheinrich go so early?
EDE
That’s a secret all right–the kind o’ secret that all the sparrows on the gutters is chirpin’.–Doctor, roll that wheel over here, will you? You got a chance now to deserve well, as they says, o’ the Prussian state, ’cause this here waggon belongs to the government forester.–That sort o’ thing can’t do you no harm.
DR. BOXER
No. And anyhow I ought to stand in with people.
[_He rolls the wheel slowly along; it escapes him and glides backwards._
EDE
That ain’t so easy. Them people has long memories. [_He catches the wheel._] Hold on there! No goin’ backward! I’m for progress, I am, Doctor! I’m willin’ to fight for that!
DR. BOXER
But you must be careful of your fingers. [_He puts on a leathern apron._] Is Langheinrich going to be gone long?
EDE
[_Whistles._] That depends on how hard it is!
DR. BOXER
Why do you whistle so significantly?
EDE
That’s a gift o’ my family. All my eleven brothers an’ sisters is musicians. I’m the only one that’s a smith. [_For a space both work at the wheel in silence. Then EDE continues._] ‘Twouldn’t be a bad stage play, I tell you. You wouldn’t have to be scared o’ riskin’ somethin’ on that. You’d make money! That’s somethin’ fine–specially for young people! You been away here a good long while, that’s the reason you don’t know what’s what. I could tell you a few little things that happen around here in bright daylight.–D’you know that Leontine?
DR. BOXER
Very sorry indeed, but I don’t.
EDE
No? An’ then you pretend that this is your home an’ don’t know that girl. Somethin’ wrong with you!
DR. BOXER
Oh, yes, yes, Leontine! Mrs. Wolff’s daughter! I once got the deuce of a flogging on her account.
EDE
Well, I wish you’d ha’ been here two hours ago. Well, first of all that same girl slouched by here … No! First of all her mother an’ father went away …’twasn’t more’n dawn yet! Then Leontine at about eight. She looked all around an’ waited an’ made lovin’ eyes in this direction an’ then walked by. You should ha’ seen Langheinrich. “Sweetheart, where are you goin’?”–Then, after a while comes Constable Schulze and goes after her.–That was too much for Langheinrich. Off with his apron an’ there he goes, quick ‘s a stag. That’s the way it was. You could ha’ observed that: the rest ain’t to be observed.–There’s Langheinrich hurryin’ back now. [_He at once sets zealously to work and pretends to discover LANGHEINRICH, who is approaching hastily and vigorously at this moment._] Well, at last! Good thing you’re here! No end o’ askin’ after you. Did you catch her?
LANGHEINRICH
[_Brusquely._] Catch what?
EDE
I meant the ‘bus.
LANGHEINRICH
Hold your…! I had business to attend to.–Well now, I’ll give a dollar if this here ain’t Dr. Boxer! Why, how are you? How are things goin’? An’ what are you doin’ nowadays? Did your ship come in? You been away now–lemme see–that must be three years, eh? Sure. That’s … well, time passes.
DR. BOXER
I want to settle down here, Langheinrich. That is to say, I have that intention if it’s possible. I should like to try my luck at home for a change.
LANGHEINRICH
Things is best at home, that’s right. O’ course, there’s one here now, a doctor I mean, but he ain’t good for much. They say somethin’ queer happened to him onct–got his ears boxed too hard or somethin’. An’ they say that made him kind o’ melancholious. That ain’t much good for his patients! No sick man can’t get well through that. I’ll send for you, Doctor, if I need help.
DR. BOXER
I’ll extract my first dozen wisdom teeth free of charge. So you’ll be glad if you don’t need me soon.
LANGHEINRICH
Well, I … fact is … my wife is sick.
_MRS. SCHULZE comes hurriedly from the house._
MRS. SCHULZE
It’s a mighty good thing that you’re here. D’you hear? That whimperin’ goes right on.
LANGHEINRICH
Doctor, I’m goin’ to ax you somethin’ now: d’you know any cure for jealousy? You see, it’s this way: We had a baby, an’ I’d be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t mighty well pleased. An’ why shouldn’t I be? But now my wife is sick. She can’t get up an’ she don’t want me to budge from the side o’ her bed. She screams an’ she scolds an’ she reproaches me. Sometimes I reely don’t know what to do no more.
MRS. SCHULZE
You better go upstairs a bit first.
EDE
Do give him a chance to get his breath!
LANGHEINRICH
Oh, pshaw! Never you mind! I c’n attend to that right off.
[_After he has taken off his hat and coat and slipped on wooden shoes he hurries into the house._
EDE
Well, what d’you think o’ that?
DR. BOXER
He’s a cheerful soul–more so, if possible, than he used to be. It does one good to find a man that way.
EDE
Only that I axed after Leontine, that riled him more’n a little bit all right.
MRS. SCHULZE
[_To EDE, watchfully:_] Where was the boss so early this mornin’?
EDE
In Lichtenberg, attendin’ a dance.
MRS. SCHULZE
The treatment that woman’s gettin’ is all wrong, Doctor. I don’t mix in what don’t concern me. But the way she’s treated, that ain’t no kind o’ treatment, I c’n tell you. I told that Majunke man too that the missis was goin’ to the dogs this way.
DR. BOXER
But Dr. Majunke is very capable. I know him to be an excellent physician.
MRS. SCHULZE
[_Interrupting._] Sure, sure, an’ that’s true. ‘Course he’s capable. That’s right, an’ so he is. But, you see, he just won’t prescribe nothin’ …
DR. BOXER
What should he prescribe? Let the people save their money.
MRS. SCHULZE
But that’s just what people don’t want to do. It’s like this: medicine’s got to be. If there ain’t none they says: how c’n the doctor help us?
DR. BOXER
Mrs. Langheinrich never was strong. Even years ago when she used to sew for us …
MRS. SCHULZE
That’s the way it is. She’s a little bit humpbacked; that’s right. That’s the way women is, though, Doctor! A seamstress–that’s what she was…! She sewed an’ she sewed and saved up a little money…! An’ what kind of a bargain is it she’s got now. A handsome feller an’ sickness an’ worry an’ no rest no more by day or night.
_LANGHEINRICH returns from the house._
LANGHEINRICH
[_Tapping MRS. SCHULZE’S shoulder somewhat roughly._] Hurry now! Go on up! It’s all arranged an’ settled. To-morrow I’m goin’ to take her to the clinic.
MRS. SCHULZE
That ain’t goin’ to be no easy work!
LANGHEINRICH
[_Lifts a great can of water to his mouth._] I can’t help that. Things is as they is. [_He takes an enormously long draught from the tin can. Putting it down:_] Ede, drive them ducks away!
EDE
[_Acting as though he were driving away ducks, flaps his leathern apron and rattles his wooden shoes._] Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!
_MRS. SCHULZE retires into the house, shaking her head._
LANGHEINRICH
Them ducks is your regular fire eaters. There don’t need nothin’ but for some sparks to fly off an’, right straight off, they gobbles ’em down. Then we gets what you might call roast duck that never meant to be roasted. An’ my old woman she ain’t no friend o’ that.
_RAUCHHAUPT looks over the fence to the left._
LANGHEINRICH
There’s been a big fire again over there behind Landsberg. All the houses on a great estate is ashes.
RAUCHHAUPT
Did you maybe see Gustav anywhere?
LANGHEINRICH
Mornin’, old boy! No, not me! Has he gone an’ run off again?
RAUCHHAUPT
I ordered him to go over to the Fielitzes.
LANGHEINRICH
The Fielitzes have all gone in to town.
RAUCHHAUPT
I don’t know, but there’s a kind o’ burned smell in the air … Ouch! [_He distorts his face in pain and grasps his leg._] Ain’t Leontine here?
LANGHEINRICH
Naw, she had to go to court to-day. Always the same trouble with the alimony. That confounded feller, he don’t pay.
RAUCHHAUPT
[_Calls out._] Gustav! [_He listens and then turns leisurely back to the little gate. The wind worries and drives him._] Gustav!
LANGHEINRICH
Stiff wind coming up, all right! [_RAUCHHAUPT disappears._] Ede!
EDE
All right.
LANGHEINRICH
Let’s get to work now! [_He spits into his hands and sets to work vigorously._] Well, Doctor, where’ve you been runnin’ about? Did you get as far as the Chinese? You gotta tell us all about that some day when we got plenty o’ time for it.
DR. BOXER
Surely, I’ve been all over.
LANGHEINRICH
Did you see the sea-serpent too?
Da. BOXER
Surely, Langheinrich, far down in the South Seas.
LANGHEINRICH
An’ it’s true that it feeds on dill pickles?
DR. BOXER
Several hundred dozen a day.
LANGHEINRICH
[_Laughing._] That’s all right then. An’ when, you see that serpent again, just give her my best regards.
DR. BOXER
I doubt whether I’ll ever get so far again in life.
LANGHEINRICH
I guess you got all you wanted o’ that? Now you see. Doctor, you just got to the point where I am exactly an’ I didn’t have to move from this spot.–Well, I guess your old mother, she’ll be glad. She’s gettin’ along all right. Doin’ reel well. I always looked in a bit now an’ then, helpin’ to see that things was all right.
DR. BOXER
And that was very good in you, Langheinrich.
LANGHEINRICH
Naw! Pshaw! I ain’t sayin’ it on that account. By the way, though, before I forget. I got a little account standin’ with your good mother–for taffeta an’ silk an’ needles an’ thread. Some cloth, too. My wife used ’em sewing. I’ll straighten that up very soon.
DR. BOXER
[_Deprecatingly._] Never mind. That matter will be arranged.
LANGHEINRICH
Ede!
EDE
All right?
LANGHEINRICH
Hurry along now! [_He takes up a heavy hammer._] If I don’t go right on workin’ I’ll end by bustin’ out o’ my skin.
_EDE approaches with a white hot piece of iron in the tongs and holds it on the anvil._
LANGHEINRICH
Now we’re goin’ to start, Doctor! Down on it! Hit it now! [_He and DR. BOXER beat the iron, keeping time with each other._] Well, you see! It’s got to go evenly. Doctor! Then I tell you the work’s smooth as butter.
[_They stop hammering; EDE takes up the iron again, takes it into the smithy and holds it into the flame._
LANGHEINRICH
[_Takes up the water can again and sets it to his lips._] There ain’t much to this!
[_Drinks._
EDE
Things like that makes you thirsty.
_LANGHEINRICH puts the can down._
LANGHEINRICH
You c’n believe me, Doctor: it was fine anyhow.
DR. BOXER
What was it that was go very fine?
LANGHEINRICH
Lord! I don’t know! I don’t know nothin’ much. But when I met Constable Schulze I had a devil of a good time–that’s what!
EDE
An’ now a glass o’ beer from Grabow over there. That’s what I could stand fine just now.
LANGHEINRICH
Hurry! Get three steins! Dr. Boxer will pay for ’em.
_EDE wipes his hands on his apron and goes._
LANGHEINRICH
An’ so you want to settle down here now! That ain’t no bad idea neither. Only this: you got to be up to all kinds o’ tricks here. An’ if you want my advice, Doctor, don’t go to people for nothin’.
DR. BOXER
Do you think that I’ll be unmolested in other respects?
LANGHEINRICH
Aw, them old stories! Them’s all outlawed by now. An’ then, nowadays they can’t worry people so much no more as they used to do under the old laws.
DR. BOXER
Well, at all events I’ll make the attempt … My political ardour has cooled off. If these people annoy me in spite of that, I’ll simply trudge off again. I’ll go back to sea, or I’ll let myself be engaged …
LANGHEINRICH
Pretty easy drownin’ on water!
DR. BOXER
[_Continuing._] … Then I’ll let myself be engaged to go to Brazil with the Russian Jews.
LANGHEINRICH
What would you get out o’ that?
DR. BOXER
Yellow fever, perhaps.
LANGHEINRICH
Anything else. Doctor? That wouldn’t be nothin’ for me!
DR. BOXER
I believe that.
LANGHEINRICH
Me go an’ wear myself out for other people? Not me! No, sir! I don’t do nothin’ like that. An’ why should I? Nobody don’t give me nothin’. I tell you people in this world is a pretty sly set. I’ve had time to find that out.
DR. BOXER
You’re a regular heathen: you’re not a Christian at all!
LANGHEINRICH
That kind o’ talk don’t do much good with me. I’m a Christian just like all the rest is! The people that sit in the new church here … ’cause they built a new church here now!… if them is Christians, the Lord forgive ’em.
DR. BOXER
That’s easily said, Langheinrich. But one ought not to be a Pharisee. Where is your Christian long-suffering?
LANGHEINRICH
No, I ain’t goin’ in for long-sufferin’. I’m a sinner myself; that’s true all right. But now you take this Dalchow here for instance! It’d take the devil to be long-sufferin’ where _he’s_ concerned! What did he do with that son o’ his. He kicked him out, that’s what, by night, in winter. Then he tied him up and beat him till he couldn’t gasp. An’ then he apprenticed the little feller to a butcher so that he had to drive out the sheep! An’ all the time jabbin’ at him an’ overworkin’ him till in the end the poor little crittur went an’ drowned hisself in the lake. Just shook his head an’ kept still an’ then dived down an’ that was the end.
DR. BOXER
[_Ironically._] I don’t see what you’ve got against Dalchow, Langheinrich? He’s a man who seems to understand his business magnificently.
LANGHEINRICH
Yes, ruinin’ girls an’ that sort o’ thing, that’s what. An’ then beatin’ his hat around their heads an’ sayin’: Out with the low strumpet! That’s what they is all of a sudden when it’s he that made ’em–_what_ they is!–Oh, an’ then he’s a great friend o’ Wehrhahn’s an’ grunts out like a swine in public meetin’s: There ain’t no more morality these days … an’ there ought to be laws against such doin’s … an’ so on, an’ so on … an’ if you’d like to go to church, there the old rotten sinner sits an’ turns up his eyes. [_A distant ringing of church bells if heard._] Listen to that! The sparrow is singin’.–I always calls that the sparrow, Doctor. I always says: the sparrow sings. I mean when them bells is ringin’. An’ ain’t I right that it’s the sparrow that sings? ‘Cause since Wehrhahn got that bird in his buttonhole them bells has begun to ring. An’ if the bells didn’t go an’ ring, why he wouldn’t have no decoration neither.
_EDE comes in grinning and carrying three steins of beer._
EDE
Oho, listen there, the sparrow is singin’.
LANGHEINRICH
Well, you see, he don’t call it nothin’ else no more. [_Each of the three holds a stein. They knock them together._] Your health! An’ welcome back to the old country! [_They drink._] That’s a fine evenin’ this mornin’. I’d like to see this night by day.
DR. BOXER
Now I’m goin’ to blaspheme a bit. I’m not opposed to the building of churches at all.
LANGHEINRICH
An’ I ain’t neither. People gets work! I didn’t get any this time, though. An’ even if there’s a little trouble now an’ then, Pastor Friderici an’ a bit o’ nonsense with coloured windows an’ altar cloths–that don’t do no harm. People has to have a little.
DR. BOXER
Yes, those people are entitled to cultivate their own pleasures. And then, Langheinrich, a higher principle has to be represented somehow.
LANGHEINRICH
Sure, an’ it brings people out here too, you c’n believe me. Buildin’ lots has gone up considerable.
EDE
That’s so. An’ there was a man onct that didn’t have no roof over his head … No, that ain’t the way to begin what I want to say.–I was onct out on the heath–far out. All of a sudden: what d’you think I heard, Doctor! I heard a dickens of a screechin’.–I goes up to it. Crows! Yes, sir. There was a feller hangin’ high up in a pine tree–tailor’s journeyman from over in Berkenbruck: he hanged hisself on account o’ starvation–hanged hisself high up.–Yes, there’s always got to be somethin’ higher!
[_While they finish drinking their beer the long-drawn cries of pain of a man’s voice are heard from some distance. The wind has risen considerably._
DR. BOXER
What is that?
EDE
Rauchhaupt. Nothin’ to worry about.
LANGHEINRICH
Sounds kind o’ gruesome, don’t it? ‘Tain’t nothin’ very lovely neither. When that feller’s pains in his leg gets hold o’ him an’ he roars out that way o’ nights–that goes right through an’ through any one. No, before I’d stand pain like that I’d go an’ put a bullet through my head.
EDE
Gee-rusalem! That’s a wind again. Look out, Doctor, that your hat don’t fly away.
_A hat is whirled by the wind along the street. SCHMAROWSKI, hatless, a roll of paper in his hand, runs chasing it._
EDE
Run along, sonny! Right on there! Show us what you c’n do!
DR. BOXER
That hat is tired of his position: wants a holiday.
SCHMAROWSKI
[_Who has recovered his hat, turns angrily to DR. BOXER._] What was that very appropriate remark you made just now?
DR. BOXER
That you are an excellent runner.
SCHMAROWSKI
Schmarowski!
DR. BOXER
Boxer!
SCHMAROWSKI
Much pleased.–Now I’d like to ask you a question. Do you know what a fathead is?
DR. BOXER
No.
SCHMAROWSKI
You don’t? Neither do I. But now tell me: you know what a _schlemihl_ is, I suppose.
LANGHEINRICH
Nothin’ broke loose here? What’s all this about? Easy now, easy! Howdy do, Mr. Schmarowski? How are you? Have you come to visit your mother-in-law?
SCHMAROWSKI
I have business here!–And before I forget it, I should like to say: Have the goodness to be more careful.
DR. BOXER
Who is this amusing gentleman, Langheinrich?
EDE
That’s Mrs. Wolff’s son-in-law.
SCHMAROWSKI
I’ll have no dealings with you at all.
EDE
Naw, you better not.
SCHMAROWSKI
Not with you–[_Turning to DR. BOXER._] But if you don’t know who I am, you can get information from Baron von Wehrhahn, the Right Reverend Bishop, the Baroness Bielschewski and the Countess Strach.
DR. BOXER
You want me to go around and get information from all those people?
SCHMAROWSKI
That’s what you’re to do–just that an’ nothing else. Then maybe you can be more careful in future an’ look people over before you talk.
LANGHEINRICH
What’s gotten into you to-day? You’re so dam’ touchy!
SCHMAROWSKI
[_To DR. BOXER, who has glanced at EDE and LANGHEINRICH alternately with serene laughter._] You just be so good an’ be more careful: we ain’t so soft. We don’t take jokes so easy, especially not from the race to which you …
LANGHEINRICH
Hold on, Mr. Schmarowski! That’s enough! Nothin’ like that here. That’s enough an’ too much, Mr. Schmarowski. You just see about gettin’ along on your way now.
SCHMAROWSKI
Do you know where I am going straight from here?
LANGHEINRICH
You c’n go straight ahead to the Lord hisself! You c’n go where you want to, Schmarowski; only, don’t be keepin’ me from my work. We ain’t got no time to lose here!–Ede, put that axle in!
_SCHMAROWSKI exit, enraged._
EDE
Good-bye!
DR. BOXER
So that was Mr. Schmarowski, the envied pillar of the church? Why, he’s a poisonous little devil!
LANGHEINRICH
Yes, you’re right there! Pois’nous is what he is. So you didn’t, know him, Dr. Boxer? Well, then you’ve seen him now–nothin’ but a little, sly, venomous pup! But you ought to go an’ watch him when he gets in with that pious crowd. Then he lets his ears hang, so ‘umble his own mother wouldn’t hardly know him, like as if he was sayin’: I ain’t goin’ to live more’n two weeks at–most an’ then I’m goin’ to heaven to be with Jesus. Yes! Likely! There’s another place where he’s goin’. But that won’t be soon. He ain’t thinkin’ of it much yet. An’ in the meantime he rolls his eyes upward ’cause somethin’ might be hangin’ round that he c’n make a profit on.
EDE
Well, you c’n look out now! Yon ain’t goin’ to get no work on the new institution.
LANGHEINRICH
I know that. Can’t be helped. Things is as they is. Can’t hold’ my tongue at things like that. I won’t learn that in a lifetime.
DR. BOXER
Have you many of that kind hereabouts now?
LANGHEINRICH
So, so. Enough to last for the winter.
_RAUCHHAUPT has come out of the little gate. He faces the wind, shades his eyes with his hand and peers around._
RAUCHHAUPT
Lord A’mighty! Well, well! Things is goin’ the queerest way to-day! When is they comin’ back–them Fielitzes?
LANGHEINRICH
That ain’t goin’ to be so very soon to-day. They’ve gone to buy a seven-day clock, a regulator. What are you upset about to-day?
RAUCHHAUPT
Wha’? Fielitz goin’ to buy that kind of a clock? I don’t believe’s he c’n survive that. [_Calls._] Gustav!
LANGHEINRICH
Ain’t he come back yet? I guess he’s listenin’ to the bells. You know how