Cynthia's Revels by Ben Johnson

CYN. With no less pleasure than we have beheld This precious crystal work of rarest wit, Our eye doth read thee, now instiled, our Crites; Whom learning, virtue, and our favour last, Exempteth from the gloomy multitude.
With common eye the Supreme should not see: Henceforth be ours, the more thyself to be.

CRI. Heaven’s purest light, whose orb may be eclipsed, But not thy praise; divinest Cynthia!
How much too narrow for so high a grace, Thine (save therein) the most unworthy Crites Doth find himself! for ever shine thy fame; Thine honours ever, as thy beauties do.
In me they must, my dark world’s chiefest lights, By whose propitious beams my powers are raised To hope some part of those most lofty points, Which blessed Arete hath pleased to name, As marks, to which my endeavour’s steps should bend: Mine, as begun at thee, in thee must end.

THE SECOND MASQUE.

ENTER MERCURY AS A PAGE, INTRODUCING EUCOSMOS, EUPATHES, EUTOLMOS, AND EUCOLOS.

MER. Sister of Phoebus, to whose bright orb we owe, that we not complain of his absence; these four brethren (for they are brethren, and sons of Eutaxia, a lady known, and highly beloved of your resplendent deity) not able to be absent, when Cynthia held a solemnity, officiously insinuate themselves into thy presence: for, as there are four cardinal virtues, upon which the whole frame of the court doth move, so are these the four cardinal properties, without which the body of compliment moveth not. With these four silver javelins, (which they bear in their hands) they support in princes’ courts the state of the presence, as by office they are obliged: which, though here they may seem superfluous, yet, for honour’s sake, they thus presume to visit thee, having also been employed in the palace of queen Perfection. And though to them that would make themselves gracious to a goddess, sacrifices were fitter than presents, or impresses, yet they both hope thy favour, and (in place of either) use several symbols, containing the titles of thy imperial dignity.

First, the hithermost, in the changeable blue and green robe, is the commendably-fashioned gallant Eucosmos; whose courtly habit is the grace of the presence, and delight of the surveying eye; whom ladies understand by the names of Neat and Elegant. His symbol is, “divae virgini,” in which he would express thy deity’s principal glory, which hath ever been virginity.

The second, in the rich accoutrement, and robe of purple, empaled with gold, is Eupathes; who entertains his mind with an harmless, but not incurious variety; all the objects of his senses are sumptuous, himself a gallant, that, without excess, can make use of superfluity, go richly in embroideries, jewels, and what not, without vanity, and fare delicately without gluttony; and therefore (not without cause) is universally thought to be of fine humour. His symbol is, “divae optimae”; an attribute to express thy goodness, in which thou so resemblest Jove thy father.

The third, in the blush-coloured suit, is Eutolmos, as duly respecting others, as never neglecting himself; commonly known by the title of good Audacity; to courts and courtly assemblies a guest most acceptable. His symbol is, “divae viragini”; to express thy hardy courage in chase of savage beasts, which harbour in woods and wildernesses.

The fourth, in watchet tinsel, is the kind and truly benefique Eucolos, who imparteth not without respect, but yet without difficulty, and hath the happiness to make every kindness seem double, by the timely and freely bestowing thereof. He is the chief of them, who by the vulgar are said to be of good nature. His symbol is, “divae maximae”; an adjunct to signify thy greatness, which in heaven, earth, and hell, is formidable.

MUSIC. A DANCE BY THE TWO MASQUES JOINED, DURING WHICH CUPID AND MERCURY RETIRE TO THE SIDE OF THE STAGE.

CUP. Is not that Amorphus, the traveller?

MER. As though it were not! do you not see how his legs are in travail with a measure?

CUP. Hedon, thy master is next.

MER. What, will Cupid turn nomenclator, and cry them?

CUP. No, faith, but I have a comedy toward, that would not be lost for a kingdom.

MER. In good time, for Cupid will prove the comedy.

CUP. Mercury, I am studying how to match them.

MER. How to mismatch them were harder.

CUP. They are the nymphs must do it; I shall sport myself with their passions above measure.

MER. Those nymphs would be tamed a little indeed, but I fear thou has not arrows for the purpose.

CUP. O yes, here be of all sorts, flights, rovers, and butt-shafts. But I can wound with a brandish, and never draw bow for the matter.

MER. I cannot but believe it, my invisible archer, and yet methinks you are tedious.

CUP. It behoves me to be somewhat circumspect, Mercury; for if Cynthia hear the twang of my bow, she’ll go near to whip me with the string; therefore, to prevent that, I thus discharge a brandish upon — it makes no matter which of the couples. Phantaste and Amorphus, at you. [WAVES HIS ARROW AT THEM.]

MER. Will the shaking of a shaft strike them into such a fever of affection?

CUP. As well as the wink of an eye: but, I pray thee, hinder me not with thy prattle.

MER. Jove forbid I hinder thee; Marry, all that I fear is Cynthia’s presence, which, with the cold of her chastity, casteth such an antiperistasis about the place, that no heat of thine will tarry with the patient.

CUP. It will tarry the rather, for the antiperistasis will keep it in.

MER. I long to see the experiment.

CUP. Why, their marrow boils already, or they are all turn’d eunuchs.

MER. Nay, an’t be so, I’ll give over speaking, and be a spectator only.

[THE FIRST DANCE ENDS.]

AMO. Cynthia, by my bright soul, is a right exquisite and spendidious lady; yet Amorphus, I think, hath seen more fashions, I am sure more countries; but whether I have or not, what need we gaze on Cynthia, that have ourself to admire?

PHA. O, excellent Cynthia! yet if Phantaste sat where she does, and had such attire on her head, (for attire can do much,) I say no more — but goddesses are goddesses, and Phantaste is as she is! I would the revels were done once, I might go to my school of glass again, and learn to do myself right after all this ruffling.

[MUSIC; THEY BEGIN THE SECOND DANCE.]

MER. How now Cupid? here’s a wonderful change with your brandish! do you not hear how they dote?

CUP. What prodigy is this? no word of love, no mention, no motion!

MER. Not a word my little ignis fatue, not a word.

CUP. Are my darts enchanted? is their vigour gone? is their virtue —

MER. What! Cupid turned jealous of himself? ha, ha, ha!

CUP. Laughs Mercury?

MER. Is Cupid angry?

CUP. Hath he not cause, when his purpose is so deluded?

MER. A rare comedy, it shall be entitled Cupid’s?

CUP. Do not scorn us Hermes.

MER. Choler and Cupid are two fiery things; I scorn them not. But I see that come to pass which I presaged in the beginning.

CUP. You cannot tell: perhaps the physic will not work so soon upon some as upon others. It may be the rest are not so resty.

MER. “Ex ungue”; you know the old adage; as these so are the remainder.

CUP. I’ll try: this is the same shaft with which I wounded Argurion. [WAVES HIS ARROW AGAIN.]

MER. Ay, but let me save you a labour, Cupid: there were certain bottles of water fetch’d, and drunk off since that time, by these gallants.

CUP. Jove strike me into the earth! the Fountain of Self-love!

MER. Nay faint not Cupid.

CUP. I remember’d it not.

MER. Faith, it was ominous to take the name of Anteros upon you; you know not what charm or enchantment lies in the word: you saw, I durst not venture upon any device in our presentment, but was content to be no other then a simple page. Your arrows’ properties, (to keep decorum,) Cupid, are suited, it should seem, to the nature of him you personate.

CUP. Indignity not to be borne!

MER. Nay rather, an attempt to have been forborne.

[THE SECOND DANCE ENDS.]

CUP. How might I revenge myself on this insulting Mercury? there’s Crites, his minion, he has not tasted of this water? [WAVES HIS ARROW AT CRITES.] It shall be so. Is Crites turn’d dotard on himself too?

MER. That follows not, because the venom of your shafts cannot pierce him, Cupid.

CUP. As though there were one antidote for these, and another for him?

MER. As though there were not; or, as if one effect might not arise of diverse causes? What say you to Cynthia, Arete, Phronesis, Time, and others there?

CUP. They are divine.

MER. And Crites aspires to be so.

[MUSIC; THEY BEGIN THE THIRD DANCE.]

CUP. But that shall not serve him.

MER. ‘Tis like to do it, at this time. But Cupid is grown too covetous, that will not spare one of a multitude.

CUP. One is more than a multitude.

MER. Arete’s favour makes any one shot-proof against thee, Cupid. I pray thee, light honey-bee, remember thou art not now in Adonis’ garden, but in Cynthia’s presence, where thorns lie in garrison about the roses. Soft, Cynthia speaks.

CYN. Ladies and gallants of our court, to end, And give a timely period to our sports,
Let us conclude them, with declining night; Our empire is but of the darker half.
And if you judge it any recompence
For your faire pains, t’ have earn’d Diana’s thanks, Diana grants them, and bestows their crown To gratify your acceptable zeal.
For you are they, that not, as some have done, Do censure us, as too severe and sour,
But as, more rightly, gracious to the good; Although we not deny, unto the proud,
Or the profane, perhaps indeed austere: For so Actaeon, by presuming far,
Did, to our grief, incur a fatal doom; And so, swoln Niobe, comparing more
Than he presumed, was trophaeed into stone. But are we therefore judged too extreme? Seems it no crime to enter sacred bowers, And hallowed places, with impure aspect, Most lewdly to pollute? Seems it no crime To brave a deity? Let mortals learn
To make religion of offending heaven. And not at all to censure powers divine. To men this argument should stand for firm, A goddess did it, therefore it was good: We are not cruel, nor delight in blood. — But what have serious repetitions
To do with revels, and the sports of court? We not intend to sour your late delights With harsh expostulation. Let it suffice That we take notice, and can take revenge Of these calumnious and lewd blasphemies. For we are no less Cynthia than we were, Nor is our power, but as ourself, the same: Though we have now put on no tire of shine, But mortal eyes undazzled may endure.
Years are beneath the spheres, and time makes weak Things under heaven, not powers which govern heaven. And though ourself be in ourself secure, Yet let not mortals challenge to themselves Immunity from thence. Lo, this is all:
Honour hath store of spleen, but wanteth gall. Once more we cast the slumber of our thanks On your ta’en toil, which here let take an end: And that we not mistake your several worths, Nor you our favour, from yourselves remove What makes you not yourselves, those clouds of masque Particular pains particular thanks do ask.

[THE DANCERS UNMASK.]

How! let me view you. Ha! are we contemn’d? Is there so little awe of our disdain,
That any (under trust of their disguise) Should mix themselves with others of the court, And, without forehead, boldly press so far, As farther none? How apt is lenity
To be abused! severity to be loath’d! And yet, how much more doth the seeming face Of neighbour virtues, and their borrow’d names, Add of lewd boldness to loose vanities!
Who would have thought that Philautia durst Or have usurped noble Storge’s name,
Or with that theft have ventured on our eyes? Who would have thought, that all of them should hope So much of our connivence, as to come
To grace themselves with titles not their own? Instead of med’cines, have we maladies?
And such imposthumes as Phantaste is Grow in our palace? We must lance these sores, Or all will putrify. Nor are these all,
For we suspect a farther fraud than this: Take off our veil, that shadows many depart, And shapes appear, beloved Arete — So,
Another face of things presents itself, Than did of late. What! feather’d Cupid masqued, And masked like Anteros? And stay! more strange! Dear Mercury, our brother, like a page,
To countenance the ambush of the boy! Nor endeth our discovery as yet:
Gelaia, like a nymph, that, but erewhile, In male attire, did serve Anaides? —
Cupid came hither to find sport and game, Who heretofore hath been too conversant
Among our train, but never felt revenge: And Mercury bare Cupid company.
Cupid, we must confess, this time of mirth, Proclaim’d by us, gave opportunity
To thy attempts, although no privilege: Tempt us no farther; we cannot endure
Thy presence longer; vanish hence, away! [EXIT CUPID.]
You Mercury, we must entreat to stay, And hear what we determine of the rest;
For in this plot we well perceive your hand. But, (for we mean not a censorian task,
And yet to lance these ulcers grown so ripe,) Dear Arete, and Crites, to you two
We give the charge; impose what pains you please: Th’ incurable cut off, the rest reform,
Remembering ever what we first decreed, Since revels were proclaim’d, let now none bleed.

ARE. How well Diana can distinguish times, And sort her censures, keeping to herself The doom of gods, leaving the rest to us! Come, cite them, Crites, first, and then proceed.

CRI. First, Philautia, for she was the first, Then light Gelaia in Aglaia’s name,
Thirdly, Phantaste, and Moria next, Main Follies all, and of the female crew: Amorphus, or Eucosmos’ counterfeit,
Voluptuous Hedon ta’en for Eupathes, Brazen Anaides, and Asotus last,
With his two pages, Morus, and Prosaites; And thou, the traveller’s evil, Cos, approach, Impostors all, and male deformities —

ARE. Nay, forward, for I delegate my power. And will that at thy mercy they do stand, Whom they so oft, so plainly scorn’d before. ‘Tis virtue which they want, and wanting it, Honour no garment to their backs can fit. Then, Crites, practise thy discretion.

CRI. Adored Cynthia, and bright Arete, Another might seem fitter for this task, Than Crites far, but that you judge not so: For I (not to appear vindicative,
Or mindful of contempts, which I contemn’d, As done of impotence) must be remiss:
Who, as I was the author, in some sort, To work their knowledge into Cynthia’s sight, So should be much severer to revenge
The indignity hence issuing to her name: But there’s not one of these who are unpain’d, Or by themselves unpunished; for vice
Is like a fury to the vicious mind, And turns delight itself to punishment.
But we must forward, to define their doom. You are offenders, that must be confess’d; Do you confess it?

ALL. We do.

CRI. And that you merit sharp correction?

ALL. Yes.

CRI. Then we (reserving unto Delia’s grace Her farther pleasure, and to Arete
What Delia granteth) thus do sentence you: That from this place (for penance known of all, Since you have drunk so deeply of Self-love) You, two and two, singing a Palinode,
March to your several homes by Niobe’s stone, And offer up two tears a-piece thereon,
That it may change the name, as you must change, And of a stone be called Weeping-cross:
Because it standeth cross of Cynthia’s way, One of whose names is sacred Trivia.
And after penance thus perform’d you pass In like set order, not as Midas did,
To wash his gold off into Tagus’ stream; But to the Well of knowledge, Helicon;
Where, purged of your present maladies, Which are not few, nor slender, you become Such as you fain would seem, and then return, Offering your service to great Cynthia.
This is your sentence, if the goddess please To ratify it with her high consent;
The scope of wise mirth unto fruit is bent.

CYN. We do approve thy censure belov’d Crites; Which Mercury, thy true propitious friend, (A deity next Jove beloved of us,)
Will undertake to see exactly done. And for this service of discovery,
Perform’d by thee, in honour of our name, We vow to guerdon it with such due grace As shall become our bounty, and thy place. Princes that would their people should do well, Must at themselves begin, as at the head; For men, by their example, pattern out
Their imitations, and regard of laws: A virtuous court, a world to virtue draws.

[EXEUNT CYNTHIA AND HER NYMPHS, FOLLOWED BY ARETE AND CRITES: — AMORPHUS, PHANTASTE, ETC., GO OFF THE STAGE IN PAIRS, SINGING THE FOLLOWING]

PALINODE.

AMO. From Spanish shrugs, French faces, smirks, irpes, and all affected humours,