I am friends,
There is no remedie, I must put up all, And like my neighbours rub it out by th’ shoulders, And perfect friends; _Leandro_ now I thank ye, And there’s my hand, I have no more grudge to ye, But I am too mean henceforward for your Companie.
_Lea_.
I shall not trouble ye.
_Ars_.
We will be friends too.
_Mil_.
Nay Lawyer, you shall not fright us farther, For all your devils we will bolt.
_Bar_.
I grant ye,
The Gentleman’s your Bail, and thank his coming, Did not he know me too well, you should smart for’t; Goe all in peace, but when ye fool next, Gentlemen, Come not to me to Breakfast.
_Die_.
I’le be bak’d first.
_Bar_.
And pray ye remember, when ye are bold and merry, The Lawyers Banquet, and the Sawce he gave ye.
_Jam_.
Come: goe along; I have employment for ye, Employment for your lewd brains too, to cool ye, For all, for every one.
_All_.
We are all your Servants.
_Die_.
All, all for any thing, from this day forward I’le hate all Breakfasts, and depend on dinners.
_Jam_.
I am glad you come off fair.
_Lea_.
The fair has blest me.
[_Exeunt_.
SCENA III.
_Enter_ Octavi[o], Jacinta, [Ascanio].
_Oct_.
This is the place, but why we are appointed By _Don Jamie_ to stay here, is a depth I cannot sound.
_Asc_.
Believ’t he is too noble
To purpose any thing but for our good. Had I assurance of a thousand lives,
And with them perpetuitie of pleasure, And should lose all, if he prov’d only false, Yet I durst run the hazard.
_Jac_.
‘Tis our comfort,
We cannot be more wretched than we are, And death concludes all misery.
_Oct_.
Undiscovered
_Enter_ Henrique, Jamie.
We must attend him.
_Asc_.
Our stay is not long.
With him _Don Henrique_?
_Jac_.
Now I fear;
Be silent.
_Hen_.
Why dost thou follow me?
_Jam_.
To save your life,
A plot is laid for’t, all my wrongs forgot, I have a Brothers Love.
_Hen_.
But thy false self
I fear no enemy.
_Jam_.
You have no friend,
But what breathes in me: If you move a step Beyond this ground you tread on, you are lost.
_Hen_.
‘Tis by thy practice then: I am sent hither To meet her, that prefers my life and safetie Before her own.
_Jam_.
That you should be abus’d thus
With weak credulitie! She for whose sake You have forgot we had one noble Father, Or that one Mother bare us, for whose love You brake a contract to which heaven was witness, To satisfie whose pride and wilfull humour You have expos’d a sweet and hopefull Son To all the miseries that want can bring him, And such a Son, though you are most obdurate, To give whom entertainment Savages
Would quit their Caves themselves, to keep him from Bleak cold and hunger: This dissembling woman, This Idol, whom you worship, all your love And service trod under her feet, designs you To fill a grave, or dead to lye a prey For Wolves and Vulturs.
_Hen_.
‘Tis false; I defie thee,
And stand upon my Guard.
_Enter_ Leandro, Milanes, Arsenio, Bart, Lopez, Diego, Octavio, Jacinta, Ascanio, _and_ Servants.
_Jam_.
Alas, ’tis weak:
Come on, since you will teach me to be cruel, By having no faith in me, take your fortune, Bring the rest forth, and bind them fast.
_Oct_.
My Lord.
_Asc_.
In what have we offended?
_Jam_.
I am deaf,
And following my will, I do not stand Accomptable to reason: See her Ring
(The first pledge of your love, and service to her) Deliver’d as a Warrant for your death: These Bags of gold you gave up to her trust, (The use of which you did deny your self) Bestow’d on me, and with a prodigal hand, Whom she pick’d forth to be the Architect Of her most bloudy building; and to fee These Instruments, to bring Materials To raise it up, she bad me spare no cost, And (as a surplusage) offer’d her self To be at my devotion.
_Hen_.
O accurs’d!
_Jam_.
But be incredulous still; think this my plot; Fashion excuses to your self, and swear That she is innocent, that she doats on ye; Believe this, as a fearfull Dream, and that You lie not at my mercy, which in this I will shew only: She her self shall give The dreadfull Sentence, to remove all scruple Who ’tis that sends you to the other world.
_Enter Violante_.
Appears my _Violante_? speak (my dearest) Do’s not the object please you?
_Viol_.
More than if
All treasure that’s above the earth, with that, That lyes conceal’d in both the Indian Mines, Were laid down at my feet: O bold _Jamy_, Thou only canst deserve me.
_Jam_.
I am forward,
And (as you easily may perceive,) I sleep not On your commands.
_Enter Assistant, and Officers_.
_Viol_.
But yet they live: I look’d
To find them dead.
_Jam_.
That was deferr’d, that you
Might triumph in their misery, and have the power To say they are not.
_Viol_.
‘Twas well thought upon:
This kiss, and all the pleasures of my Bed This night, shall thank thee.
_Hen_.
Monster!
_Viol_.
You Sir, that
Would have me Mother Bastards, being unable To honour me with one Child of mine own, That underneath my roof, kept your cast-Strumpet, And out of my Revenues would maintain Her riotous issue: now you find what ’tis To tempt a woman: with as little feeling As I turn off a slave, that is unfit
To doe me service; or a horse, or dog That have out-liv’d their use, I shake thee off, To make thy peace with heaven.
_Hen_.
I do deserve this,
And never truly felt before, what sorrow Attends on wilfull dotage.
_Viol_.
For you, Mistris,
That had the pleasure of his youth before me, And triumph’d in the fruit that you had by him, But that I think, to have the Bastard strangled Before thy face, and thou with speed to follow The way he leads thee, is sufficient torture, I would cut off thy nose, put out thine eyes, And set my foot on these bewitching lips, That had the start of mine: but as thou art, Goe to the grave unpitied.
_Assist_.
Who would believe
Such rage could be in woman?
_Viol_.
For this fellow,
He is not worth my knowledge.
_Jam_.
Let him live then,
Since you esteem him innocent.
_Viol_.
No _Jamy_,
He shall make up the mess: now strike together, And let them fall so.
_Assist_.
Unheard of crueltie!
I can endure no longer: seise on her.
_Viol_.
Am I betrai’d?
Is this thy faith, _Jamy_?
_Jam_.
Could your desires
Challenge performance of a deed so horrid? Or, though that you had sold your self to hell, I should make up the bargain? Live (dear Brother) Live long, and happy: I forgive you freely; To have done you this service, is to me A fair Inheritance: and how e’re harsh language (Call’d on by your rough usage) pass’d my lips, In my heart I ever lov’d you: all my labours Were but to shew, how much your love was cozen’d, When it beheld it self in this false Glass, That did abuse you; and I am so far
From envying young _Ascanio_ his good fortune, That if your State were mine, I would adopt him, These are the Murtherers my noble friends, Which (to make trial of her bloudy purpose) I won, to come disguis’d thus.
_Hen_.
I am too full
Of grief, and shame to speak: but what I’le doe, Shall to the world proclaim my penitence; And howsoever I have liv’d, I’le die
A much chang’d man.
_Jam_.
Were it but possible
You could make satisfaction to this woman, Our joyes were perfect.
_Hen_.
That’s my only comfort,
That it is in my power: I ne’re was married To this bad woman, though I doted on her, But daily did defer it, still expecting When grief would kill _Jacintha_.
_Assist_.
All is come out,
And finds a fair success: take her _Don Henrique_, And once again embrace your Son.
_Hen_.
Most gladly.
_Assist_.
Your Brother hath deserv’d all.
_Hen_.
And shall share
The moitie of my State.
_Assist_.
I have heard, advocate,
What an ill Instrument you have been to him, From this time strengthen him with honest counsels, As you’le deserve my pardon.
_Bar_.
I’le change my Copy:
But I am punish’d, for I fear I have had A smart blow, though unseen.
_Assist_.
Curate, and Sexton,
I have heard of you too, let me hear no more, And what’s past, is forgotten; For this woman, Though her intent were bloody, yet our Law Calls it not death: yet that her punishment May deter others from such bad attempts, The dowry she brought with her, shall be emploi’d To build a Nunnery, where she shall spend The remnant of her life.
_Viol_.
Since I have miss’d my ends,
I scorn what can fall on me.
_Assist_.
The strict discipline
Of the Church, will teach you better thoughts. And Signiors, You that are Batchelours, if you ever marry, In _Bartolus_ you may behold the issue Of Covetousness and Jealousie; and of dotage, And falshood in _Don Henrique_: keep a mean then; _For be assured, that weak man meets all ill, That gives himself up to a womans will_.
[_Exeunt_.
* * * * *
Prologue.
_To tell ye (Gentlemen,) we have a Play, A new one too, and that ’tis launch’d to day, The Name ye know, that’s nothing to my Story; To tell ye, ’tis familiar, void of Glory, Of State, of Bitterness: of wit you’ll say, For that is now held wit, that tends that way, Which we avoid: To tell ye too ’tis merry, And meant to make ye pleasant, and not weary: The Stream that guides ye, easie to attend: To tell ye that ’tis good, is to no end, If you believe not. Nay, to goe thus far, To swear it, if you swear against, is war. To assure you any thing, unless you see, And so conceive, is vanity in me;
Therefore I leave it to it self, and pray Like a good Bark, it may work out to day, And stem all doubts; ’twas built for such a proof, And we hope highly: if she lye aloof
For her own vantage, to give wind at will, Why let her work, only be you but still, And sweet opinion’d, and we are bound to say, You are worthy Judges, and you crown the Play_.
* * * * *
Epilogue.
_The Play is done, yet our Suit never ends, Still when you part, you would still part our friends, Our noblest friends; if ought have faln amiss, O let it be sufficient, that it is,
And you have pardon’d it. In Buildings great All the whole Body cannot be so neat, But something may be mended; Those are fair, And worthy love, that may destroy, but spare_.
APPENDIX
_Ad Janum_
Take Comfort Janus, never feare thy head Which to the quick belongs, not to the dead Thy wife did lye with one, thou being dead drunke Thou are not Cuckold though shee bee a Punke.
Tis not the state nor soveraintie of Jove could draw thy pure affections from my love nor is there Venus in the Skyes
could from thy looks with draw my greedy eyes.
THE SPANISH CURATE.
A = First Folio; B = Second Folio.
p. 60,
ll. 3-41. Omitted in A.
l. 42. A _omits_] and.
l. 46. A] heirs.
p. 61,
l. 38. A] Encreasing by.
l. 39. B _misprints_] Vialante.
p. 63,
l. 17. A] base and abject.
p. 64,
l. 2. A] Or modestie.
l. 18. B _misprints_] whow.
l. 31. A] wish that it.
p. 65,
l. 17. A] By this example.
l. 25. A] or of my.
p. 66,
l. 8. A] of mine own.
l. 26. A] Mirth, and Seek.
p. 68,
l. 2. A] have you.
p. 70,
l. 28. A] provoking it call.
p. 73,
l. 13. A] To me, of, that misery against my will.
p. 74,
l. 33. A _omits_] as.
p. 75,
l. 18. A gives this line to _Lean_. l. 31. A _adds_] exit lea. _and gives_ ll. 32 _and_ 33 _to_ Ars.
l. 34. A _omits_] Exeunt Mil. Ars.
p. 76,
l. 29. _A comma has been substituted for a full-stop after_ weathers.
p. 77,
l. 25. A] look out it.
l. 39. A] has.
p. 79,
l. 3. A] often-times.
l. 15. B _prints_] Dig.
l. 28. A _omits_] to.
ll. 33 and 34. A _gives these lines to_ Lea.
p. 80,
l. 22. B _misprints_] yesterdy.
p. 82,
l. 9. A] still and the.
l. 16. A] jealousies.
p. 83,
l. 3. B] More.
p. 84,
l. 15. A] Gentleman.
p. 86,
l. 8. A] be a kin.
l. 10. A] ‘long.
p. 87,
l. 19. A] am both to.
l. 23. A] ‘Faith.
p. 88,
l. 6. A] Y’faith.
l. 26. A] ye might.
p. 89,
l. 4. A _adds_] Enter Amaranta.
l. 18. B _misprints_] woman.
ll. 21-34. Omitted in A.
p. 90,
l. 22. A] lock upon me.
p. 92,
l. 25. A _adds stage direction_] Two chaires set out. l. 28. A _omits_] are. p. 93,
l. 10. A] porrage.
l. 23. A] gymitrie.
p. 94,
l. 27. A] abed.
l. 34. A] I will.
pp. 95 and 96.
l. 11 A omits the Song.
p. 96,
l. 11. A _adds stage direction_] The Bar & Book ready on a Table.
l. 18. A _omits_] Exeunt Parishioners. l. 26. A] may he some.
p. 98,
l. 6. A _omits_] and.
l. 22. B _misprints_] Tough.
p. 99,
l. 4. A] proaguing.
p. 100,
l. 9. A] ‘Tis Sessions.
l. 16. A] hunch, hunch.
p. 101,
l. 8. A] at her.
l. 21. A] Had winck’d.
p. 102,
l. 29. A _adds stage direction_] Chess-boord and men set ready.
p. 104,
l. 10. A _omits_] Exit.
l. 27. A] That rakes.
l. 35. A] Jam. (_char_.).
l. 37. A _omits stage direction_. l. 40. A _omits stage direction_.
p. 105,
l. 18. A _gives this line to_ Lean.
p. 106,
l. 11. A] ‘Pre.
l. 13. A _omits stage direction_. l. 16. A] ‘Would.
p. 107,
l. 32. A] and I thank.
p. 109,
l. 1. A] anger.
l. 2. A] Why none, Sir.
p. 110,
l. 3. B _misprints_] Hne.
l. 17. B _misprints_] barrneness. l. 34. A] hath blasted.
p. 111,
l. 12. A] pontafles.
p. 113,
l. 5. A _adds stage direction_] Bed ready wine, table Standish & Paper.
p. 114,
l. 9. A] If ye.
p. 115,
l. 29. A and B] Ars.
p. 116,
l. 25. A _omits_] for.
p. 117,
l. 3. A _adds stage direction_] Diego ready in Bed, wine, cup.
p. 118,
l. 14. A _adds stage direction_] Bed thrust out.
p. 120,
l. 1. A] Nor preach not Abstinence. l. 2. A] budge.
p. 122,
l. 15. A _prints_ Doe you deserve _as the beginning of Die’s speech_.
p. 123,
l. 16. A. _prints stage direction_] Pewter ready for noyse.
l. 19. B _misprints_] joyn’d.
p. 124,
l. 10. A] ‘pre’thee.
p. 125,
l. 9. A] brussels.
l. 34. A] fleere.
p. 126,
l. 39. A] has.
p. 129,
l. 3. A] I doe owe dutie.
l. 19. A _adds stage direction_] A Table ready covered with Cloath Napkins Salt Trenchers and Bread.
l. 27. A] cerviz’d.
p. 132,
l. 7. A _omits_] wee’l.
l. 12. A _adds stage direction_] Dishes covered with papers in each ready.
p. 134,
l. 11. A _has_ Bar _written in the margin, not printed, in the copy collated_.
l. 36. A] least none drest.
p. 137,
l. 9. A] concernes.
l. 27. A] _gives this line to_ Lea.
p. 138,
l. 16. A] Has.
p. 139,
l. 5. B _misprints_] Octavia … Arsenio.
p. 143,
l. 24. A] deserv’d well.