The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum

Version 11 proofreading and corrections by Paul Selkirk, February 2002. THE PATCHWORK GIRL OF OZ by L. FRANK BAUM Affectionately Dedicated to my young friend Sumner Hamilton Britton of Chicago Prologue Through the kindness of Dorothy Gale of Kansas, afterward Princess Dorothy of Oz, an humble writer in the United States of America was once
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Version 11 proofreading and corrections by Paul Selkirk, February 2002.

THE PATCHWORK GIRL OF OZ

by L. FRANK BAUM

Affectionately Dedicated to my young friend Sumner Hamilton Britton of Chicago

Prologue

Through the kindness of Dorothy Gale of Kansas, afterward Princess Dorothy of Oz, an humble writer in the United States of America was once appointed Royal Historian of Oz, with the privilege of writing the chronicle of that wonderful fairyland. But after making six books about the adventures of those interesting but queer people who live in the Land of Oz, the Historian learned with sorrow that by an edict of the Supreme Ruler, Ozma of Oz, her country would thereafter be rendered invisible to all who lived outside its borders and that all communication with Oz would, in the future, be cut off.

The children who had learned to look for the books about Oz and who loved the stories about the gay and happy people inhabiting that favored country, were as sorry as their Historian that there would be no more books of Oz stories. They wrote many letters asking if the Historian did not know of some adventures to write about that had happened before the Land of Oz was shut out from all the rest of the world. But he did not know of any. Finally one of the children inquired why we couldn’t hear from Princess Dorothy by wireless telegraph, which would enable her to communicate to the Historian whatever happened in the far-off Land of Oz without his seeing her, or even knowing just where Oz is.

That seemed a good idea; so the Historian rigged up a high tower in his back yard, and took lessons in wireless telegraphy until he understood it, and then began to call “Princess Dorothy of Oz” by sending messages into the air.

Now, it wasn’t likely that Dorothy would be looking for wireless messages or would heed the call; but one thing the Historian was sure of, and that was that the powerful Sorceress, Glinda, would know what he was doing and that he desired to communicate with Dorothy. For Glinda has a big book in which is recorded every event that takes place anywhere in the world, just the moment that it happens, and so of course the book would tell her about the wireless message.

And that was the way Dorothy heard that the Historian wanted to speak with her, and there was a Shaggy Man in the Land of Oz who knew how to telegraph a wireless reply. The result was that the Historian begged so hard to be told the latest news of Oz, so that he could write it down for the children to read, that Dorothy asked permission of Ozma and Ozma graciously consented.

That is why, after two long years of waiting, another Oz story is now presented to the children of America. This would not have been possible had not some clever man invented the “wireless” and an equally clever child suggested the idea of reaching the mysterious Land of Oz by its means.

L. Frank Baum.

“OZCOT”
at Hollywood
in California

LIST OF CHAPTERS
1 – Ojo and Unc Nunkie
2 – The Crooked Magician
3 – The Patchwork Girl
4 – The Glass Cat
5 – A Terrible Accident
6 – The Journey
7 – The Troublesome Phonograph
8 – The Foolish Owl and the Wise Donkey 9 – They Meet the Woozy
10 – Shaggy Man to the Rescue
11 – A Good Friend
12 – The Giant Porcupine
13 – Scraps and the Scarecrow
14 – Ojo Breaks the Law
15 – Ozma’s Prisoner
16 – Princess Dorothy
17 – Ozma and Her Friends
18 – Ojo is Forgiven
19 – Trouble with the Tottenhots
20 – The Captive Yoop
21 – Hip Hopper the Champion
22 – The Joking Horners
23 – Peace is Declared
24 – Ojo Finds the Dark Well
25 – They Bribe the Lazy Quadling
26 – The Trick River
27 – The Tin Woodman Objects
28 – The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

The Patchwork Girl of Oz

Chapter One

Ojo and Unc Nunkie

“Where’s the butter, Unc Nunkie?” asked Ojo.

Unc looked out of the window and stroked his long beard. Then he turned to the Munchkin boy and shook his head.

“Isn’t,” said he.

“Isn’t any butter? That’s too bad, Unc. Where’s the jam then?” inquired Ojo, standing on a stool so he could look through all the shelves of the cupboard. But Unc Nunkie shook his head again.

“Gone,” he said.

“No jam, either? And no cake–no jelly–no apples–nothing but bread?”

“All,” said Unc, again stroking his beard as he gazed from the window.

The little boy brought the stool and sat beside his uncle, munching the dry bread slowly and seeming in deep thought.

“Nothing grows in our yard but the bread tree,” he mused, “and there are only two more loaves on that tree; and they’re not ripe yet. Tell me, Unc; why are we so poor?”

The old Munchkin turned and looked at Ojo. He had kindly eyes, but he hadn’t smiled or laughed in so long that the boy had forgotten that Unc Nunkie could look any other way than solemn. And Unc never spoke any more words than he was obliged to, so his little nephew, who lived alone with him, had learned to understand a great deal from one word.

“Why are we so poor, Unc?” repeated the boy.

“Not,” said the old Munchkin.

“I think we are,” declared Ojo. “What have we got?”

“House,” said Unc Nunkie.

“I know; but everyone in the Land of Oz has a place to live. What else, Unc?”

“Bread.”

“I’m eating the last loaf that’s ripe. There; I’ve put aside your share, Unc. It’s on the table, so you can eat it when you get hungry. But when that is gone, what shall we eat, Unc?”

The old man shifted in his chair but merely shook his head.

“Of course,” said Ojo, who was obliged to talk because his uncle would not, “no one starves in the Land of Oz, either. There is plenty for everyone, you know; only, if it isn’t just where you happen to be, you must go where it is.”

The aged Munchkin wriggled again and stared at his small nephew as if disturbed by his argument.

“By to-morrow morning,” the boy went on, “we must go where there is something to eat, or we shall grow very hungry and become very unhappy.”

“Where?” asked Unc.

“Where shall we go? I don’t know, I’m sure,” replied Ojo. “But you must know, Unc. You must have traveled, in your time, because you’re so old. I don’t remember it, because ever since I could remember anything we’ve lived right here in this lonesome, round house, with a little garden back of it and the thick woods all around. All I’ve ever seen of the great Land of Oz, Unc dear, is the view of that mountain over at the south, where they say the Hammerheads live–who won’t let anybody go by them–and that mountain at the north, where they say nobody lives.”

“One,” declared Unc, correcting him.

“Oh, yes; one family lives there, I’ve heard. That’s the Crooked Magician, who is named Dr. Pipt, and his wife Margolotte. One year you told me about them; I think it took you a whole year, Unc, to say as much as I’ve just said about the Crooked Magician and his wife. They live high up on the mountain, and the good Munchkin Country, where the fruits and flowers grow, is just the other side. It’s funny you and I should live here all alone, in the middle of the forest, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” said Unc.

“Then let’s go away and visit the Munchkin Country and its jolly, good-natured people. I’d love to get a sight of something besides woods, Unc Nunkie.”

“Too little,” said Unc.

“Why, I’m not so little as I used to be,” answered the boy earnestly. “I think I can walk as far and as fast through the woods as you can, Unc. And now that nothing grows in our back yard that is good to eat, we must go where there is food.”

Unc Nunkie made no reply for a time. Then he shut down the window and turned his chair to face the room, for the sun was sinking behind the tree-tops and it was growing cool.

By and by Ojo lighted the fire and the logs blazed freely in the broad fireplace. The two sat in the firelight a long time–the old, white- bearded Munchkin and the little boy. Both were thinking. When it grew quite dark outside, Ojo said:

“Eat your bread, Unc, and then we will go to bed.”

But Unc Nunkie did not eat the bread; neither did he go directly to bed. Long after his little nephew was sound asleep in the corner of the room the old man sat by the fire, thinking.

Chapter Two

The Crooked Magician

Just at dawn next morning Unc Nunkie laid his hand tenderly on Ojo’s head and awakened him.

“Come,” he said.

Ojo dressed. He wore blue silk stockings, blue knee pants with gold buckles, a blue ruffled waist and a jacket of bright blue braided with gold. His shoes were of blue leather and turned up at the toes, which were pointed. His hat had a peaked crown and a flat brim, and around the brim was a row of tiny golden bells that tinkled when he moved. This was the native costume of those who inhabited the Munchkin Country of the Land of Oz, so Unc Nunkie’s dress was much like that of his nephew. Instead of shoes, the old man wore boots with turnover tops and his blue coat had wide cuffs of gold braid.

The boy noticed that his uncle had not eaten the bread, and supposed the old man had not been hungry. Ojo was hungry, though; so he divided the piece of bread upon the table and ate his half for breakfast, washing it down with fresh, cool water from the brook. Unc put the other piece of bread in his jacket pocket, after which he again said, as he walked out through the doorway: “Come.”

Ojo was well pleased. He was dreadfully tired of living all alone in the woods and wanted to travel and see people. For a long time he had wished to explore the beautiful Land of Oz in which they lived. When they were outside, Unc simply latched the door and started up the path. No one would disturb their little house, even if anyone came so far into the thick forest while they were gone.

At the foot of the mountain that separated the Country of the Munchkins from the Country of the Gillikins, the path divided. One way led to the left and the other to the right–straight up the mountain. Unc Nunkie took this right-hand path and Ojo followed without asking why. He knew it would take them to the house of the Crooked Magician, whom he had never seen but who was their nearest neighbor.

All the morning they trudged up the mountain path and at noon Unc and Ojo sat on a fallen tree-trunk and ate the last of the bread which the old Munchkin had placed in his pocket. Then they started on again and two hours later came in sight of the house of Dr. Pipt.

It was a big house, round, as were all the Munchkin houses, and painted blue, which is the distinctive color of the Munchkin Country of Oz. There was a pretty garden around the house, where blue trees and blue flowers grew in abundance and in one place were beds of blue cabbages, blue carrots and blue lettuce, all of which were delicious to eat. In Dr. Pipt’s garden grew bun- trees, cake-trees, cream-puff bushes, blue buttercups which yielded excellent blue butter and a row of chocolate-caramel plants. Paths of blue gravel divided the vegetable and flower beds and a wider path led up to the front door. The place was in a clearing on the mountain, but a little way off was the grim forest, which completely surrounded it.

Unc knocked at the door of the house and a chubby, pleasant-faced woman, dressed all in blue, opened it and greeted the visitors with a smile.

“Ah,” said Ojo; “you must be Dame Margolotte, the good wife of Dr. Pipt.”

“I am, my dear, and all strangers are welcome to my home.”

“May we see the famous Magician, Madam?”

“He is very busy just now,” she said, shaking her head doubtfully. “But come in and let me give you something to eat, for you must have traveled far in order to get our lonely place.”

“We have,” replied Ojo, as he and Unc entered the house. “We have come from a far lonelier place than this.”

“A lonelier place! And in the Munchkin Country?” she exclaimed. “Then it must be somewhere in the Blue Forest.”

“It is, good Dame Margolotte.”

“Dear me!” she said, looking at the man, “you must be Unc Nunkie, known as the Silent One.” Then she looked at the boy. “And you must be Ojo the Unlucky,” she added.

“Yes,” said Unc.

“I never knew I was called the Unlucky,” said Ojo, soberly; “but it is really a good name for me.”

“Well,” remarked the woman, as she bustled around the room and set the table and brought food from the cupboard, “you were unlucky to live all alone in that dismal forest, which is much worse than the forest around here; but perhaps your luck will change, now you are away from it. If, during your travels, you can manage to lose that ‘Un’ at the beginning of your name ‘Unlucky,’ you will then become Ojo the Lucky, which will be a great improvement.”

“How can I lose that ‘Un,’ Dame Margolotte?”

“I do not know how, but you must keep the matter in mind and perhaps the chance will come to you,” she replied.

Ojo had never eaten such a fine meal in all his life. There was a savory stew, smoking hot, a dish of blue peas, a bowl of sweet milk of a delicate blue tint and a blue pudding with blue plums in it. When the visitors had eaten heartily of this fare the woman said to them:

“Do you wish to see Dr. Pipt on business or for pleasure?”

Unc shook his head.

“We are traveling,” replied Ojo, “and we stopped at your house just to rest and refresh ourselves. I do not think Unc Nunkie cares very much to see the famous Crooked Magician; but for my part I am curious to look at such a great man.”

The woman seemed thoughtful.

“I remember that Unc Nunkie and my husband used to be friends, many years ago,” she said, “so perhaps they will be glad to meet again. The Magician is very busy, as I said, but if you will promise not to disturb him you may come into his workshop and watch him prepare a wonderful charm.”

“Thank you,” replied the boy, much pleased. “I would like to do that.”

She led the way to a great domed hall at the back of the house, which was the Magician’s workshop. There was a row of windows extending nearly around the sides of the circular room, which rendered the place very light, and there was a back door in addition to the one leading to the front part of the house. Before the row of windows a broad seat was built and there were some chairs and benches in the room besides. At one end stood a great fireplace, in which a blue log was blazing with a blue flame, and over the fire hung four kettles in a row, all bubbling and steaming at a great rate. The Magician was stirring all four of these kettles at the same time, two with his hands and two with his feet, to the latter, wooden ladles being strapped, for this man was so very crooked that his legs were as handy as his arms.

Unc Nunkie came forward to greet his old friend, but not being able to shake either his hands or his feet, which were all occupied in stirring, he patted the Magician’s bald head and asked: “What?”

“Ah, it’s the Silent One,” remarked Dr. Pipt, without looking up, “and he wants to know what I’m making. Well, when it is quite finished this compound will be the wonderful Powder of Life, which no one knows how to make but myself. Whenever it is sprinkled on anything, that thing will at once come to life, no matter what it is. It takes me several years to make this magic Powder, but at this moment I am pleased to say it is nearly done. You see, I am making it for my good wife Margolotte, who wants to use some of it for a purpose of her own. Sit down and make yourself comfortable, Unc Nunkie, and after I’ve finished my task I will talk to you.”

“You must know,” said Margolottte, when they were all seated together on the broad window-seat, “that my husband foolishly gave away all the Powder of Life he first made to old Mombi the Witch, who used to live in the Country of the Gillikins, to the north of here. Mombi gave to Dr. Pipt a Powder of Perpetual Youth in exchange for his Powder of Life, but she cheated him wickedly, for the Powder of Youth was no good and could work no magic at all.”

“Perhaps the Powder of Life couldn’t either,” said Ojo.

“Yes; it is perfection,” she declared. “The first lot we tested on our Glass Cat, which not only began to live but has lived ever since. She’s somewhere around the house now.”

“A Glass Cat!” exclaimed Ojo, astonished.

“Yes; she makes a very pleasant companion, but admires herself a little more than is considered modest, and she positively refuses to catch mice,” explained Margolotte. “My husband made the cat some pink brains, but they proved to be too high- bred and particular for a cat, so she thinks it is undignified in her to catch mice. Also she has a pretty blood-red heart, but it is made of stone–a ruby, I think–and so is rather hard and unfeeling. I think the next Glass Cat the Magician makes will have neither brains nor heart, for then it will not object to catching mice and may prove of some use to us.”

“What did old Mombi the Witch do with the Powder of Life your husband gave her?” asked the boy.

“She brought Jack Pumpkinhead to life, for one thing,” was the reply. “I suppose you’ve heard of Jack Pumpkinhead. He is now living near the Emerald City and is a great favorite with the Princess Ozma, who rules all the Land of Oz.”

“No; I’ve never heard of him,” remarked Ojo. “I’m afraid I don’t know much about the Land of Oz. You see, I’ve lived all my life with Unc Nunkie, the Silent One, and there was no one to tell me anything.”

“That is one reason you are Ojo the Unlucky,” said the woman, in a sympathetic tone. “The more one knows, the luckier he is, for knowledge is the greatest gift in life.”

“But tell me, please, what you intend to do with this new lot of the Powder of Life, which Dr. Pipt is making. He said his wife wanted it for some especial purpose.”

“So I do,” she answered. “I want it to bring my Patchwork Girl to life.”

“Oh! A Patchwork Girl? What is that?” Ojo asked, for this seemed even more strange and unusual than a Glass Cat.

“I think I must show you my Patchwork Girl,” said Margolotte, laughing at the boy’s astonishment, “for she is rather difficult to explain. But first I will tell you that for many years I have longed for a servant to help me with the housework and to cook the meals and wash the dishes. No servant will come here because the place is so lonely and out-of-the-way, so my clever husband, the Crooked Magician, proposed that I make a girl out of some sort of material and he would make her live by sprinkling over her the Powder of Life. This seemed an excellent suggestion and at once Dr. Pipt set to work to make a new batch of his magic powder. He has been at it a long, long while, and so I have had plenty of time to make the girl. Yet that task was not so easy as you may suppose. At first I couldn’t think what to make her of, but finally in searching through a chest I came across an old patchwork quilt, which my grandmother once made when she was young.”

“What is a patchwork quilt?” asked Ojo.

“A bed-quilt made of patches of different kinds and colors of cloth, all neatly sewed together. The patches are of all shapes and sizes, so a patchwork quilt is a very pretty and gorgeous thing to look at. Sometimes it is called a ‘crazy-quilt,’ because the patches and colors are so mixed up. We never have used my grandmother’s many-colored patchwork quilt, handsome as it is, for we Munchkins do not care for any color other than blue, so it has been packed away in the chest for about a hundred years. When I found it, I said to myself that it would do nicely for my servant girl, for when she was brought to life she would not be proud nor haughty, as the Glass Cat is, for such a dreadful mixture of colors would discourage her from trying to be as dignified as the blue Munchkins are.”

“Is blue the only respectable color, then?” inquired Ojo.

“Yes, for a Munchkin. All our country is blue, you know. But in other parts of Oz the people favor different colors. At the Emerald City, where our Princess Ozma lives, green is the popular color. But all Munchkins prefer blue to anything else and when my housework girl is brought to life she will find herself to be of so many unpopular colors that she’ll never dare be rebellious or impudent, as servants are sometimes liable to be when they are made the same way their mistresses are.”

Unc Nunkie nodded approval.

“Good i-dea,” he said; and that was a long speech for Unc Nunkie because it was two words.

“So I cut up the quilt,” continued Margolotte, “and made from it a very well-shaped girl, which I stuffed with cotton-wadding. I will show you what a good job I did,” and she went to a tall cupboard and threw open the doors.

Then back she came, lugging in her arms the Patchwork Girl, which she set upon the bench and propped up so that the figure would not tumble over.

Chapter Three

The Patchwork Girl

Ojo examined this curious contrivance with wonder. The Patchwork Girl was taller than he, when she stood upright, and her body was plump and rounded because it had been so neatly stuffed with cotton. Margolotte had first made the girl’s form from the patchwork quilt and then she had dressed it with a patchwork skirt and an apron with pockets in it– using the same gay material throughout. Upon the feet she had sewn a pair of red leather shoes with pointed toes. All the fingers and thumbs of the girl’s hands had been carefully formed and stuffed and stitched at the edges, with gold plates at the ends to serve as finger-nails.

“She will have to work, when she comes to life,” said Marglotte.

The head of the Patchwork Girl was the most curious part of her. While she waited for her husband to finish making his Powder of Life the woman had found ample time to complete the head as her fancy dictated, and she realized that a good servant’s head must be properly constructed. The hair was of brown yarn and hung down on her neck in several neat braids. Her eyes were two silver suspender-buttons cut from a pair of the Magician’s old trousers, and they were sewed on with black threads, which formed the pupils of the eyes. Margolotte had puzzled over the ears for some time, for these were important if the servant was to hear distinctly, but finally she had made them out of thin plates of gold and attached them in place by means of stitches through tiny holes bored in the metal. Gold is the most common metal in the Land of Oz and is used for many purposes because it is soft and pliable.

The woman had cut a slit for the Patchwork Girl’s mouth and sewn two rows of white pearls in it for teeth, using a strip of scarlet plush for a tongue. This mouth Ojo considered very artistic and lifelike, and Margolotte was pleased when the boy praised it. There were almost too many patches on the face of the girl for her to be considered strictly beautiful, for one cheek was yellow and the other red, her chin blue, her forehead purple and the center, where her nose had been formed and padded, a bright yellow.

“You ought to have had her face all pink,” suggested the boy.

“I suppose so; but I had no pink cloth,” replied the woman. “Still, I cannot see as it matters much, for I wish my Patchwork Girl to be useful rather than ornamental. If I get tired looking at her patched face I can whitewash it.”

“Has she any brains?” asked Ojo.

“No; I forgot all about the brains!” exclaimed the woman. “I am glad you reminded me of them, for it is not too late to supply them, by any means. Until she is brought to life I can do anything I please with this girl. But I must be careful not to give her too much brains, and those she has must be such as are fitted to the station she is to occupy in life. In other words, her brains mustn’t be very good.”

“Wrong,” said Unc Nunkie.

“No; I am sure I am right about that,” returned the woman.

“He means,” explained Ojo, “that unless your servant has good brains she won’t know how to obey you properly, nor do the things you ask her to do.”

“Well, that may be true,” agreed Margolotte; “but, on the contrary, a servant with too much brains is sure to become independent and high- and-mighty and feel above her work. This is a very delicate task, as I said, and I must take care to give the girl just the right quantity of the right sort of brains. I want her to know just enough, but not too much.”

With this she went to another cupboard which was filled with shelves. All the shelves were lined with blue glass bottles, neatly labeled by the Magician to show what they contained. One whole shelf was marked: “Brain Furniture,” and the bottles on this shelf were labeled as follows: “Obedience,” “Cleverness,” “Judgment,” “Courage,” “Ingenuity,” “Amiability,” “Learning,” “Truth,” “Poesy,” “Self Reliance.”

“Let me see,” said Margolotte; “of those qualities she must have ‘Obedience’ first of all,” and she took down the bottle bearing that label and poured from it upon a dish several grains of the contents. “‘Amiability’ is also good and ‘Truth.'” She poured into the dish a quantity from each of these bottles. “I think that will do,” she continued, “for the other qualities are not needed in a servant.”

Unc Nunkie, who with Ojo stood beside her, touched the bottle marked “Cleverness.”

“Little,” said he.

“A little ‘Cleverness’? Well, perhaps you are right, sir,” said she, and was about to take down the bottle when the Crooked Magician suddenly called to her excitedly from the fireplace.

“Quick, Margolotte! Come and help me.”

She ran to her husband’s side at once and helped him lift the four kettles from the fire. Their contents had all boiled away, leaving in the bottom of each kettle a few grains of fine white powder. Very carefully the Magician removed this powder, placing it all together in a golden dish, where he mixed it with a golden spoon. When the mixture was complete there was scarcely a handful, all told.

“That,” said Dr. Pipt, in a pleased and triumphant tone, “is the wonderful Powder of Life, which I alone in the world know how to make. It has taken me nearly six years to prepare these precious grains of dust, but the little heap on that dish is worth the price of a kingdom and many a king would give all he has to possess it. When it has become cooled I will place it in a small bottle; but meantime I must watch it carefully, lest a gust of wind blow it away or scatter it.”

Unc Nunkie, Margolotte and the Magician all stood looking at the marvelous Powder, but Ojo was more interested just then in the Patchwork Girl’s brains. Thinking it both unfair and unkind to deprive her of any good qualities that were handy, the boy took down every bottle on the shelf and poured some of the contents in Margolotte’s dish. No one saw him do this, for all were looking at the Powder of Life; but soon the woman remembered what she had been doing, and came back to the cupboard.

“Let’s see,” she remarked; “I was about to give my girl a little ‘Cleverness,’ which is the Doctor’s substitute for ‘Intelligence’–a quality he has not yet learned how to manufacture.” Taking down the bottle of “Cleverness” she added some of the powder to the heap on the dish. Ojo became a bit uneasy at this, for he had already put quite a lot of the “Cleverness” powder in the dish; but he dared not interfere and so he comforted himself with the thought that one cannot have too much cleverness.

Margolotte now carried the dish of brains to the bench. Ripping the seam of the patch on the girl’s forehead, she placed the powder within the head and then sewed up the seam as neatly and securely as before.

“My girl is all ready for your Powder of Life, my dear,” she said to her husband. But the Magician replied:

“This powder must not be used before to-morrow morning; but I think it is now cool enough to be bottled.”

He selected a small gold bottle with a pepper- box top, so that the powder might be sprinkled on any object through the small holes. Very carefully he placed the Powder of Life in the gold bottle and then locked it up in a drawer of his cabinet.

“At last,” said he, rubbing his hands together gleefully, “I have ample leisure for a good talk with my old friend Unc Nunkie. So let us sit down cosily and enjoy ourselves. After stirring those four kettles for six years I am glad to have a little rest.”

“You will have to do most of the talking,” said Ojo, “for Unc is called the Silent One and uses few words.”

“I know; but that renders your uncle a most agreeable companion and gossip,” declared Dr. Pipt. “Most people talk too much, so it is a relief to find one who talks too little.”

Ojo looked at the Magician with much awe and curiosity.

“Don’t you find it very annoying to be so crooked?” he asked.

“No; I am quite proud of my person,” was the reply. “I suppose I am the only Crooked Magician in all the world. Some others are accused of being crooked, but I am the only genuine.”

He was really very crooked and Ojo wondered how he managed to do so many things with such a twisted body. When he sat down upon a crooked chair that had been made to fit him, one knee was under his chin and the other near the small of his back; but he was a cheerful man and his face bore a pleasant and agreeable expression.

“I am not allowed to perform magic, except for my own amusement,” he told his visitors, as he lighted a pipe with a crooked stem and began to smoke. “Too many people were working magic in the Land of Oz, and so our lovely Princess Ozma put a stop to it. I think she was quite right. There were several wicked Witches who caused a lot of trouble; but now they are all out of business and only the great Sorceress, Glinda the Good, is permitted to practice her arts, which never harm anybody. The Wizard of Oz, who used to be a humbug and knew no magic at all, has been taking lessons of Glinda, and I’m told he is getting to be a pretty good Wizard; but he is merely the assistant of the great Sorceress. I’ve the right to make a servant girl for my wife, you know, or a Glass Cat to catch our mice–which she refuses to do–but I am forbidden to work magic for others, or to use it as a profession.”

“Magic must be a very interesting study,” said Ojo.

“It truly is,” asserted the Magician. “In my time I’ve performed some magical feats that were worthy of the skill of Glinda the Good. For instance, there’s the Powder of Life, and my Liquid of Petrifaction, which is contained in that bottle on the shelf yonder–over the window.”

“What does the Liquid of Petrifaction do?” inquired the boy.

“Turns everything it touches to solid marble. It’s an invention of my own, and I find it very useful. Once two of those dreadful Kalidahs, with bodies like bears and heads like tigers, came here from the forest to attack us; but I sprinkled some of that Liquid on them and instantly they turned to marble. I now use them as ornamental statuary in my garden. This table looks to you like wood, and once it really was wood; but I sprinkled a few drops of the Liquid of Petrifaction on it and now it is marble. It will never break nor wear out.”

“Fine!” said Unc Nunkie, wagging his head and stroking his long gray beard.

“Dear me; what a chatterbox you’re getting to be, Unc,” remarked the Magician, who was pleased with the compliment. But just then there came a scratching at the back door and a shrill voice cried:

“Let me in! Hurry up, can’t you? Let me in!”

Margolotte got up and went to the door.

“Ask like a good cat, then,” she said.

“Mee-ee-ow-w-w! There; does that suit your royal highness?” asked the voice, in scornful accents.

“Yes; that’s proper cat talk,” declared the woman, and opened the door.

At once a cat entered, came to the center of the room and stopped short at the sight of strangers. Ojo and Unc Nunkie both stared at it with wide open eyes, for surely no such curious creature had ever existed before–even in the Land of Oz.

Chapter Four

The Glass Cat

The cat was made of glass, so clear and transparent that you could see through it as easily as through a window. In the top of its head, however, was a mass of delicate pink balls which looked like jewels, and it had a heart made of a blood-red ruby. The eyes were two large emeralds, but aside from these colors all the rest of the animal was clear glass, and it had a spun- glass tail that was really beautiful.

“Well, Doc Pipt, do you mean to introduce us, or not?” demanded the cat, in a tone of annoyance. “Seems to me you are forgetting your manners.”

“Excuse me,” returned the Magician. “This is Unc Nunkie, the descendant of the former kings of the Munchkins, before this country became a part of the Land of Oz.”

“He needs a haircut,” observed the cat, washing its face.

“True,” replied Unc, with a low chuckle of amusement.

“But he has lived alone in the heart of the forest for many years,” the Magician explained; “and, although that is a barbarous country, there are no barbers there.”

“Who is the dwarf?” asked the cat.

“That is not a dwarf, but a boy,” answered the Magician. “You have never seen a boy before. He is now small because he is young. With more years he will grow big and become as tall as Unc Nunkie.”

“Oh. Is that magic?” the glass animal inquired.

“Yes; but it is Nature’s magic, which is more wonderful than any art known to man. For instance, my magic made you, and made you live; and it was a poor job because you are useless and a bother to me; but I can’t make you grow. You will always be the same size–and the same saucy, inconsiderate Glass Cat, with pink brains and a hard ruby heart.”

“No one can regret more than I the fact that you made me,” asserted the cat, crouching upon the floor and slowly swaying its spun-glass tail from side to side. “Your world is a very uninteresting place. I’ve wandered through your gardens and in the forest until I’m tired of it all, and when I come into the house the conversation of your fat wife and of yourself bores me dreadfully.”

“That is because I gave you different brains from those we ourselves possess–and much too good for a cat,” returned Dr. Pipt.

“Can’t you take ’em out, then, and replace ’em with pebbles, so that I won’t feel above my station in life?” asked the cat, pleadingly.

“Perhaps so. I’ll try it, after I’ve brought the Patchwork Girl to life,” he said.

The cat walked up to the bench on which the Patchwork Girl reclined and looked at her attentively.

“Are you going to make that dreadful thing live?” she asked.

The Magician nodded.

“It is intended to be my wife’s servant maid,” he said. “When she is alive she will do all our work and mind the house. But you are not to order her around, Bungle, as you do us. You must treat the Patchwork Girl respectfully.”

“I won’t. I couldn’t respect such a bundle of scraps under any circumstances.”

“If you don’t, there will be more scraps than you will like,” cried Margolotte, angrily.

“Why didn’t you make her pretty to look at?” asked the cat. “You made me pretty–very pretty, indeed–and I love to watch my pink brains roll around when they’re working, and to see my precious red heart beat.” She went to a long mirror, as she said this, and stood before it, looking at herself with an air of much pride. “But that poor patched thing will hate herself, when she’s once alive,” continued the cat. “If I were you I’d use her for a mop, and make another servant that is prettier.”

“You have a perverted taste,” snapped Margolotte, much annoyed at this frank criticism. “I think the Patchwork Girl is beautiful, considering what she’s made of. Even the rainbow hasn’t as many colors, and you must admit that the rainbow is a pretty thing.”

The Glass Cat yawned and stretched herself upon the floor.

“Have your own way,” she said. “I’m sorry for the Patchwork Girl, that’s all.”

Ojo and Unc Nunkie slept that night in the Magician’s house, and the boy was glad to stay because he was anxious to see the Patchwork Girl brought to life. The Glass Cat was also a wonderful creature to little Ojo, who had never seen or known anything of magic before, although he had lived in the Fairyland of Oz ever since he was born. Back there in the woods nothing unusual ever happened. Unc Nunkie, who might have been King of the Munchkins, had not his people united with all the other countries of Oz in
acknowledging Ozma as their sole ruler, had retired into this forgotten forest nook with his baby nephew and they had lived all alone there. Only that the neglected garden had failed to grow food for them, they would always have lived in the solitary Blue Forest; but now they had started out to mingle with other people, and the first place they came to proved so interesting that Ojo could scarcely sleep a wink all night.

Margolotte was an excellent cook and gave them a fine breakfast. While they were all engaged in eating, the good woman said:

“This is the last meal I shall have to cook for some time, for right after breakfast Dr. Pipt has promised to bring my new servant to life. I shall let her wash the breakfast dishes and sweep and dust the house. What a relief it will be!”

“It will, indeed, relieve you of much drudgery,” said the Magician. “By the way, Margolotte, I thought I saw you getting some brains from the cupboard, while I was busy with my kettles. What qualities have you given your new servant?”

“Only those that an humble servant requires,” she answered. “I do not wish her to feel above her station, as the Glass Cat does. That would make her discontented and unhappy, for of course she must always be a servant.”

Ojo was somewhat disturbed as he listened to this, and the boy began to fear he had done wrong in adding all those different qualities of brains to the lot Margolotte had prepared for the servant. But it was too late now for regret, since all the brains were securely sewn up inside the Patchwork Girl’s head. He might have confessed what he had done and thus allowed Margolotte and her husband to change the brains; but he was afraid of incurring their anger. He believed that Unc had seen him add to the brains, and Unc had not said a word against it; but then, Unc never did say anything unless it was absolutely necessary.

As soon as breakfast was over they all went into the Magician’s big workshop, where the Glass Cat was lying before the mirror and the Patchwork Girl lay limp and lifeless upon the bench.

“Now, then,” said Dr. Pipt, in a brisk tone, “we shall perform one of the greatest feats of magic possible to man, even in this marvelous Land of Oz. In no other country could it be done at all. I think we ought to have a little music while the Patchwork Girl comes to life. It is pleasant to reflect that the first sounds her golden ears will hear will be delicious music.”

As he spoke he went to a phonograph, which screwed fast to a small table, and wound up the spring of the instrument and adjusted the big gold horn.

“The music my servant will usually hear,” remarked Margolotte, “will be my orders to do her work. But I see no harm in allowing her to listen to this unseen band while she wakens to her first realization of life. My orders will beat the band, afterward.”

The phonograph was now playing a stirring march tune and the Magician unlocked his cabinet and took out the gold bottle containing the Powder of Life.

They all bent over the bench on which the Patchwork Girl reclined. Unc Nunkie and Margolotte stood behind, near the windows, Ojo at one side and the Magician in front, where he would have freedom to sprinkle the powder. The Glass Cat came near, too, curious to watch the important scene.

“All ready?” asked Dr. Pipt.

“All is ready,” answered his wife.

So the Magician leaned over and shook from the bottle some grains of the wonderful Powder, and they fell directly on the Patchwork Girl’s head and arms.

Chapter Five

A Terrible Accident

“It will take a few minutes for this powder to do its work,” remarked the Magician, sprinkling the body up and down with much care.

But suddenly the Patchwork Girl threw up one arm, which knocked the bottle of powder from the crooked man’s hand and sent it flying across the room. Unc Nunkie and Margolotte were so startled that they both leaped backward and bumped together, and Unc’s head joggled the shelf above them and upset the bottle containing the Liquid of Petrifaction.

The Magician uttered such a wild cry that Ojo jumped away and the Patchwork Girl sprang after him and clasped her stuffed arms around him in terror. The Glass Cat snarled and hid under the table, and so it was that when the powerful Liquid of Petrifaction was spilled it fell only upon the wife of the Magician and the uncle of Ojo. With these two the charm worked promptly. They stood motionless and stiff as marble statues, in exactly the positions they were in when the Liquid struck them.

Ojo pushed the Patchwork Girl away and ran to Unc Nunkie, filled with a terrible fear for the only friend and protector he had ever known. When he grasped Unc’s hand it was cold and hard. Even the long gray beard was solid marble. The Crooked Magician was
dancing around the room in a frenzy of despair, calling upon his wife to forgive him, to speak to him, to come to life again!

The Patchwork Girl, quickly recovering from her fright, now came nearer and looked from one to another of the people with deep interest. Then she looked at herself and laughed. Noticing the mirror, she stood before it and examined her extraordinary features with amazement–her button eyes, pearl bead teeth and puffy nose. Then, addressing her reflection in the glass, she exclaimed:

“Whee, but there’s a gaudy dame!
Makes a paint-box blush with shame. Razzle-dazzle, fizzle-fazzle!
Howdy-do, Miss What’s-your-name?”

She bowed, and the reflection bowed. Then she laughed again, long and merrily, and the Glass Cat crept out from under the table and said:

“I don’t blame you for laughing at yourself. Aren’t you horrid?”

“Horrid?” she replied. “Why, I’m thoroughly delightful. I’m an Original, if you please, and therefore incomparable. Of all the comic, absurd, rare and amusing creatures the world contains, I must be the supreme freak. Who but poor Margolotte could have managed to invent such an unreasonable being as I? But I’m glad–I’m awfully glad!–that I’m just what I am, and nothing else.”

“Be quiet, will you?” cried the frantic Magician; “be quiet and let me think! If I don’t think I shall go mad.”

“Think ahead,” said the Patchwork Girl, seating herself in a chair. “Think all you want to. I don’t mind.”

“Gee! but I’m tired playing that tune,” called the phonograph, speaking through its horn in a brazen, scratchy voice. “If you don’t mind, Pipt, old boy, I’ll cut it out and take a rest.”

The Magician looked gloomily at the music- machine.

“What dreadful luck!” he wailed, despondently. “The Powder of Life must have fallen on the phonograph.”

He went up to it and found that the gold bottle that contained the precious powder had dropped upon the stand and scattered its life-giving grains over the machine. The phonograph was very much alive, and began dancing a jig with the legs of the table to which it was attached, and this dance so annoyed Dr. Pipt that he kicked the thing into a corner and pushed a bench against it, to hold it quiet.

“You were bad enough before,” said the Magician, resentfully; “but a live phonograph is enough to drive every sane person in the Land of Oz stark crazy.”

“No insults, please,” answered the phonograph in a surly tone. “You did it, my boy; don’t blame me.”

“You’ve bungled everything, Dr. Pipt,” added the Glass Cat, contemptuously.

“Except me,” said the Patchwork Girl, jumping up to whirl merrily around the room.

“I think,” said Ojo, almost ready to cry through grief over Unc Nunkie’s sad fate, “it must all be my fault, in some way. I’m called Ojo the Unlucky, you know.”

“That’s nonsense, kiddie,” retorted the Patchwork Girl cheerfully. “No one can be unlucky who has the intelligence to direct his own actions. The unlucky ones are those who beg for a chance to think, like poor Dr. Pipt here. What’s the row about, anyway, Mr. Magic-maker?”

“The Liquid of Petrifaction has accidentally fallen upon my dear wife and Unc Nunkie and turned them into marble,” he sadly replied.

“Well, why don’t you sprinkle some of that powder on them and bring them to life again?” asked the Patchwork Girl.

The Magician gave a jump.

“Why, I hadn’t thought of that!” he joyfully cried, and grabbed up the golden bottle, with which he ran to Margolotte.

Said the Patchwork Girl:

“Higgledy, piggledy, dee–
What fools magicians be!
His head’s so thick
He can’t think quick,
So he takes advice from me.”

Standing upon the bench, for he was so crooked he could not reach the top of his wife’s head in any other way, Dr. Pipt began shaking the bottle. But not a grain of powder came out. He pulled off the cover, glanced within, and then threw the bottle from him with a wail of despair.

“Gone–gone! Every bit gone,” he cried. “Wasted on that miserable phonograph when it might have saved my dear wife!”

Then the Magician bowed his head on his crooked arms and began to cry.

Ojo was sorry for him. He went up to the sorrowful man and said softly:

“You can make more Powder of Life, Dr. Pipt.”

“Yes; but it will take me six years–six long, weary years of stirring four kettles with both feet and both hands,” was the agonized reply. “Six years! while poor Margolotte stands watching me as a marble image.”

“Can’t anything else be done?” asked the Patchwork Girl.

The Magician shook his head. Then he seemed to remember something and looked up.

“There is one other compound that would destroy the magic spell of the Liquid of Petrifaction and restore my wife and Unc Nunkie to life,” said he. “It may be hard to find the things I need to make this magic compound, but if they were found I could do in an instant what will otherwise take six long, weary years of stirring kettles with both hands and both feet.”

“All right; let’s find the things, then,” suggested the Patchwork Girl. “That seems a lot more sensible than those stirring times with the kettles.”

“That’s the idea, Scraps,” said the Glass Cat, approvingly. “I’m glad to find you have decent brains. Mine are exceptionally good. You can see ’em work; they’re pink.”

“Scraps?” repeated the girl. “Did you call me ‘Scraps’? Is that my name?”

“I–I believe my poor wife had intended to name you ‘Angeline,'” said the Magician.

“But I like ‘Scraps’ best,” she replied with a laugh. “It fits me better, for my patchwork is all scraps, and nothing else. Thank you for naming me, Miss Cat. Have you any name of your own?”

“I have a foolish name that Margolotte once gave me, but which is quite undignified for one of my importance,” answered the cat. “She called me ‘Bungle.'”

“Yes,” sighed the Magician; “you were a sad bungle, taken all in all. I was wrong to make you as I did, for a more useless, conceited and brittle thing never before existed.”

“I’m not so brittle as you think,” retorted the cat. “I’ve been alive a good many years, for Dr. Pipt experimented on me with the first magic Powder of Life he ever made, and so far I’ve never broken or cracked or chipped any part of me.”

“You seem to have a chip on your shoulder,” laughed the Patchwork Girl, and the cat went to the mirror to see.

“Tell me,” pleaded Ojo, speaking to the Crooked Magician, “what must we find to make the compound that will save Unc Nunkie?”

“First,” was the reply, “I must have a six- leaved clover. That can only be found in the green country around the Emerald City, and six-leaved clovers are very scarce, even there.”

“I’ll find it for you,” promised Ojo.

“The next thing,” continued the Magician, “is the left wing of a yellow butterfly. That color can only be found in the yellow country of the Winkies, West of the Emerald City.”

“I’ll find it,” declared Ojo. “Is that all?”

“Oh, no; I’ll get my Book of Recipes and see what comes next.”

Saying this, the Magician unlocked a drawer of his cabinet and drew out a small book covered with blue leather. Looking through the pages he found the recipe he wanted and said: “I must have a gill of water from a dark well.”

“What kind of a well is that, sir?” asked the boy.

“One where the light of day never penetrates. The water must be put in a gold bottle and brought to me without any light ever reaching it.”

“I’ll get the water from the dark well,” said Ojo.

“Then I must have three hairs from the tip of a Woozy’s tail, and a drop of oil from a live man’s body.”

Ojo looked grave at this.

“What is a Woozy, please?” he inquired.

“Some sort of an animal. I’ve never seen one, so I can’t describe it,” replied the Magician.

“If I can find a Woozy, I’ll get the hairs from its tail,” said Ojo. “But is there ever any oil in a man’s body?”

The Magician looked in the book again, to make sure.

“That’s what the recipe calls for,” he replied, “and of course we must get everything that is called for, or the charm won’t work. The book doesn’t say ‘blood’; it says ‘oil,’ and there must be oil somewhere in a live man’s body or the book wouldn’t ask for it.”

“All right,” returned Ojo, trying not to feel discouraged; “I’ll try to find it.”

The Magician looked at the little Munchkin boy in a doubtful way and said:

“All this will mean a long journey for you; perhaps several long journeys; for you must search through several of the different countries of Oz in order to get the things I need.”

“I know it, sir; but I must do my best to save Unc Nunkie.”

“And also my poor wife Margolotte. If you save one you will save the other, for both stand there together and the same compound will restore them both to life. Do the best you can, Ojo, and while you are gone I shall begin the six years job of making a new batch of the Powder of Life. Then, if you should unluckily fail to secure any one of the things needed, I will have lost no time. But if you succeed you must return here as quickly as you can, and that will save me much tiresome stirring of four kettles with both feet and both hands.”

“I will start on my journey at once, sir,” said the boy.

“And I will go with you,” declared the Patchwork Girl.

“No, no!” exclaimed the Magician. “You have no right to leave this house. You are only a servant and have not been discharged.”

Scraps, who had been dancing up and down the room, stopped and looked at him.

“What is a servant?” she asked.

“One who serves. A–a sort of slave,” he explained.

“Very well,” said the Patchwork Girl, “I’m going to serve you and your wife by helping Ojo find the things you need. You need a lot, you know, such as are not easily found.”

“It is true,” sighed Dr. Pipt. “I am well aware that Ojo has undertaken a serious task.”

Scraps laughed, and resuming her dance she said:

“Here’s a job for a boy of brains:
A drop of oil from a live man’s veins; A six-leaved clover; three nice hairs
From a Woozy’s tail, the book declares Are needed for the magic spell,
And water from a pitch-dark well. The yellow wing of a butterfly
To find must Ojo also try,
And if he gets them without harm, Doc Pipt will make the magic charm;
But if he doesn’t get ’em, Unc
Will always stand a marble chunk.”

The Magician looked at her thoughtfully.

“Poor Margolotte must have given you some of the quality of poesy, by mistake,” he said. “And, if that is true, I didn’t make a very good article when I prepared it, or else you got an overdose or an underdose. However, I believe I shall let you go with Ojo, for my poor wife will not need your services until she is restored to life. Also I think you may be able to help the boy, for your head seems to contain some thoughts I did not expect to find in it. But be very careful of yourself, for you’re a souvenir of my dear Margolotte. Try not to get ripped, or your stuffing may fall out. One of your eyes seems loose, and you may have to sew it on tighter. If you talk too much you’ll wear out your scarlet plush tongue, which ought to have been hemmed on the edges. And remember you belong to me and must return here as soon as your mission is
accomplished.”

“I’m going with Scraps and Ojo,” announced the Glass Cat.

“You can’t,” said the Magician.

“Why not?”

“You’d get broken in no time, and you couldn’t be a bit of use to the boy and the Patchwork Girl.”

“I beg to differ with you,” returned the cat, in a haughty tone. “Three heads are better than two, and my pink brains are beautiful. You can see ’em work.”

“Well, go along,” said the Magician, irritably. “You’re only an annoyance, anyhow, and I’m glad to get rid of you.”

“Thank you for nothing, then,” answered the cat, stiffly.

Dr. Pipt took a small basket from a cupboard and packed several things in it. Then he handed it to Ojo.

“Here is some food and a bundle of charms,” he said. “It is all I can give you, but I am sure you will find friends on your journey who will assist you in your search. Take care of the Patchwork Girl and bring her safely back, for she ought to prove useful to my wife. As for the Glass Cat– properly named Bungle–if she bothers you I now give you my permission to break her in two, for she is not respectful and does not obey me. I made a mistake in giving her the pink brains, you see.”

Then Ojo went to Unc Nunkie and kissed the old man’s marble face very tenderly.

“I’m going to try to save you, Unc,” he said, just as if the marble image could hear him; and then he shook the crooked hand of the Crooked Magician, who was already busy hanging the four kettles in the fireplace, and picking up his basket left the house.

The Patchwork Girl followed him, and after them came the Glass Cat.

Chapter Six

The Journey

Ojo had never traveled before and so he only knew that the path down the mountainside led into the open Munchkin Country, where large numbers of people dwelt. Scraps was quite new and not supposed to know anything of the Land of Oz, while the Glass Cat admitted she had never wandered very far away from the Magician’s house. There was only one path before them, at the beginning, so they could not miss their way, and for a time they walked through the thick forest in silent thought, each one impressed with the importance of the adventure they had undertaken.

Suddenly the Patchwork Girl laughed. It was funny to see her laugh, because her cheeks wrinkled up, her nose tipped, her silver button eyes twinkled and her mouth curled at the corners in a comical way.

“Has something pleased you?” asked Ojo, who was feeling solemn and joyless through thinking upon his uncle’s sad fate.

“Yes,” she answered. “Your world pleases me, for it’s a queer world, and life in it is queerer still. Here am I, made from an old bedquilt and intended to be a slave to Margolotte, rendered free as air by an accident that none of you could foresee. I am enjoying life and seeing the world, while the woman who made me is standing helpless as a block of wood. If that isn’t funny enough to laugh at, I don’t know what is.”

“You’re not seeing much of the world yet, my poor, innocent Scraps,” remarked the Cat. “The world doesn’t consist wholly of the trees that are on all sides of us.”

“But they’re part of it; and aren’t they pretty trees?” returned Scraps, bobbing her head until her brown yarn curls fluttered in the breeze. “Growing between them I can see lovely ferns and wild-flowers, and soft green mosses. If the rest of your world is half as beautiful I shall be glad I’m alive.”

“I don’t know what the rest of the world is like, I’m sure,” said the cat; “but I mean to find out.”

“I have never been out of the forest,” Ojo added; “but to me the trees are gloomy and sad and the wild-flowers seem lonesome. It must be nicer where there are no trees and there is room for lots of people to live together.”

“I wonder if any of the people we shall meet will be as splendid as I am,” said the Patchwork Girl. “All I have seen, so far, have pale, colorless skins and clothes as blue as the country they live in, while I am of many gorgeous colors– face and body and clothes. That is why I am bright and contented, Ojo, while you are blue and sad.”

“I think I made a mistake in giving you so many sorts of brains,” observed the boy. “Perhaps, as the Magician said, you have an overdose, and they may not agree with you.”

“What had you to do with my brains?” asked Scraps.

“A lot,” replied Ojo. “Old Margolotte meant to give you only a few–just enough to keep you going–but when she wasn’t looking I added a good many more, of the best kinds I could find in the Magician’s cupboard.”

“Thanks,” said the girl, dancing along the path ahead of Ojo and then dancing back to his side. “If a few brains are good, many brains must be better.”

“But they ought to be evenly balanced,” said the boy, “and I had no time to be careful. From the way you’re acting, I guess the dose was badly mixed.”

“Scraps hasn’t enough brains to hurt her, so don’t worry,” remarked the cat, which was trotting along in a very dainty and graceful manner. “The only brains worth considering are mine, which are pink. You can see ’em work.”

After walking a long time they came to a little brook that trickled across the path, and here Ojo sat down to rest and eat something from his basket. He found that the Magician had given him part of a loaf of bread and a slice of cheese. He broke off some of the bread and was surprised to find the loaf just as large as it was before. It was the same way with the cheese: however much he broke off from the slice, it remained exactly the same size.

“Ah,” said he, nodding wisely; “that’s magic. Dr. Pipt has enchanted the bread and the cheese, so it will last me all through my journey, however much I eat.”

“Why do you put those things into your mouth?” asked Scraps, gazing at him in astonishment. “Do you need more stuffing? Then why don’t you use cotton, such as I am stuffed with?”

“I don’t need that kind,” said Ojo.

“But a mouth is to talk with, isn’t it?”

“It is also to eat with,” replied the boy. “If I didn’t put food into my mouth, and eat it, I would get hungry and starve.

“Ah, I didn’t know that,” she said. “Give me some.”

Ojo handed her a bit of the bread and she put it in her mouth.

“What next?” she asked, scarcely able to speak.

“Chew it and swallow it,” said the boy.

Scraps tried that. Her pearl teeth were unable to chew the bread and beyond her mouth there was no opening. Being unable to swallow she threw away the bread and laughed.

“I must get hungry and starve, for I can’t eat,” she said.

“Neither can I,” announced the cat; “but I’m not fool enough to try. Can’t you understand that you and I are superior people and not made like these poor humans?”

“Why should I understand that, or anything else?” asked the girl. “Don’t bother my head by asking conundrums, I beg of you. Just let me discover myself in my own way.”

With this she began amusing herself by leaping across the brook and back again.

“Be careful, or you’ll fall in the water,” warned Ojo.

“Never mind.”

“You’d better. If you get wet you’ll be soggy and can’t walk. Your colors might run, too,” he said.

“Don’t my colors run whenever I run?” she asked.

“Not in the way I mean. If they get wet, the reds and greens and yellows and purples of your patches might run into each other and become just a blur–no color at all, you know.”

“Then,” said the Patchwork Girl, “I’ll be careful, for if I spoiled my splendid colors I would cease to be beautiful.”

“Pah!” sneered the Glass Cat, “such colors are not beautiful; they’re ugly, and in bad taste. Please notice that my body has no color at all. I’m transparent, except for my exquisite red heart and my lovely pink brains–you can see ’em work.”

“Shoo–shoo–shoo!” cried Scraps, dancing around and laughing. “And your horrid green eyes, Miss Bungle! You can’t see your eyes, but we can, and I notice you’re very proud of what little color you have. Shoo, Miss Bungle, shoo–shoo–shoo! If you were all colors and many colors, as I am, you’d be too stuck up for anything.” She leaped over the cat and back again, and the startled Bungle crept close to a tree to escape her. This made Scraps laugh more heartily than ever, and she said:

“Whoop-te-doodle-doo!
The cat has lost her shoe.
Her tootsie’s bare, but she don’t care, So what’s the odds to you?”

“Dear me, Ojo,” said the cat; “don’t you think the creature is a little bit crazy?”

“It may be,” he answered, with a puzzled look.

“If she continues her insults I’ll scratch off her suspender-button eyes,” declared the cat.

“Don’t quarrel, please,” pleaded the boy, rising to resume the journey. “Let us be good comrades and as happy and cheerful as possible, for we are likely to meet with plenty of trouble on our way.”

It was nearly sundown when they came to the edge of the forest and saw spread out before them a delightful landscape. There were broad blue fields stretching for miles over the valley, which was dotted everywhere with pretty, blue domed houses, none of which, however, was very near to the place where they stood. Just at the point where the path left the forest stood a tiny house covered with leaves from the trees, and before this stood a Munchkin man with an axe in his hand. He seemed very much surprised when Ojo and Scraps and the Glass Cat came out of the woods, but as the Patchwork Girl approached nearer he sat down upon a bench and laughed so hard that he could not speak for a long time.

This man was a woodchopper and lived all alone in the little house. He had bushy blue whiskers and merry blue eyes and his blue clothes were quite old and worn.

“Mercy me!” exclaimed the woodchopper, when at last he could stop laughing. “Who would think such a funny harlequin lived in the Land of Oz? Where did you come from, Crazy-quilt?”

“Do you mean me?” asked the Patchwork Girl.

“Of course,” he replied.

“You misjudge my ancestry. I’m not a crazy- quilt; I’m patchwork,” she said.

“There’s no difference,” he replied, beginning to laugh again. “When my old grandmother sews such things together she calls it a crazy-quilt; but I never thought such a jumble could come to life.”

“It was the Magic Powder that did it,” explained Ojo.

“Oh, then you have come from the Crooked Magician on the mountain. I might have known it, for–Well, I declare! here’s a glass cat. But the Magician will get in trouble for this; it’s against the law for anyone to work magic except Glinda the Good and the royal Wizard of Oz. If you people–or things–or glass spectacles–or crazy- quilts–or whatever you are, go near the Emerald City, you’ll be arrested.”

“We’re going there, anyhow,” declared Scraps, sitting upon the bench and swinging her stuffed legs.

“If any of us takes a rest,
We’ll be arrested sure,
And get no restitution
‘Cause the rest we must endure.”

“I see,” said the woodchopper, nodding; “you’re as crazy as the crazy-quilt you’re made of.”

“She really is crazy,” remarked the Glass Cat. “But that isn’t to be wondered at when you remember how many different things she’s made of. For my part, I’m made of pure glass–except my jewel heart and my pretty pink brains. Did you notice my brains, stranger? You can see ’em work.”

“So I can,” replied the woodchopper; “but I can’t see that they accomplish much. A glass cat is a useless sort of thing, but a Patchwork Girl is really useful. She makes me laugh, and laughter is the best thing in life. There was once a woodchopper, a friend of mine, who was made all of tin, and I used to laugh every time I saw him.”

“A tin woodchopper?” said Ojo. “That is strange.”

“My friend wasn’t always tin,” said the man, “but he was careless with his axe, and used to chop himself very badly. Whenever he lost an arm or a leg he had it replaced with tin; so after a while he was all tin.”

“And could he chop wood then?” asked the boy.

“He could if he didn’t rust his tin joints. But one day he met Dorothy in the forest and went with her to the Emerald City, where he made his fortune. He is now one of the favorites of Princess Ozma, and she has made him the Emperor of the Winkies–the Country where all is yellow.”

“Who is Dorothy?” inquired the Patchwork Girl.

“A little maid who used to live in Kansas, but is now a Princess of Oz. She’s Ozma’s best friend, they say, and lives with her in the royal palace.”

“Is Dorothy made of tin?” inquired Ojo.

“Is she patchwork, like me?” inquired Scraps.

“No,” said the man; “Dorothy is flesh, just as I am. I know of only one tin person, and that is Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman; and there will never be but one Patchwork Girl, for any magician that sees you will refuse to make another one like you.”

“I suppose we shall see the Tin Woodman, for we are going to the Country of the Winkies,” said the boy.

“What for?” asked the woodchopper.

“To get the left wing of a yellow butterfly.”

“It is a long journey,” declared the man, “and you will go through lonely parts of Oz and cross rivers and traverse dark forests before you get there.”

“Suits me all right,” said Scraps. “I’ll get a chance to see the country.”

“You’re crazy, girl. Better crawl into a rag-bag and hide there; or give yourself to some little girl to play with. Those who travel are likely to meet trouble; that’s why I stay at home.”

The woodchopper then invited them all to stay the night at his little hut, but they were anxious to get on and so left him and continued along the path, which was broader, now, and more distinct.

They expected to reach some other house before it grew dark, but the twilight was brief and Ojo soon began to fear they had made a mistake in leaving the woodchopper.

“I can scarcely see the path,” he said at last. “Can you see it, Scraps?”

“No,” replied the Patchwork Girl, who was holding fast to the boy’s arm so he could guide her.

“I can see,” declared the Glass Cat. “My eyes are better than yours, and my pink brains–“

“Never mind your pink brains, please,” said Ojo hastily; “just run ahead and show us the way. Wait a minute and I’ll tie a string to you; for then you can lead us.”

He got a string from his pocket and tied it around the cat’s neck, and after that the creature guided them along the path. They had proceeded in this way for about an hour when a twinkling blue light appeared ahead of them.

“Good! there’s a house at last,” cried Ojo. “When we reach it the good people will surely welcome us and give us a night’s lodging.” But however far they walked the light seemed to get no nearer, so by and by the cat stopped short, saying:

“I think the light is traveling, too, and we shall never be able to catch up with it. But here is a house by the roadside, so why go farther?”

“Where is the house, Bungle?”

“Just here beside us, Scraps.”