No sense of anything strange or untoward about the situation came to mar the perfect joy of Mr. Pett, the overmastering joy of the baseball fan who in a strange land unexpectedly encounters a brother. He thrilled with a happiness which he had never hoped to feel that morning.
“No signs of them slumping?” enquired the butler.
“No. But you never can tell. It’s early yet. I’ve seen those boys lead the league till the end of August and then be nosed out.”
“True enough,” said the butler sadly.
“Matty’s in shape.”
“He is? The old souper working well?”
“Like a machine. He shut out the Cubs the day before I sailed!”
“Fine!”
At this point an appreciation of the unusualness of the proceedings began to steal upon Mr. Pett. He gaped at this surprising servitor.
“How on earth do you know anything about baseball?” he demanded.
The other seemed to stiffen. A change came over his whole appearance. He had the air of an actor who has remembered his part.
“I beg your pardon, sir. I trust I have not taken a liberty. I was at one time in the employment of a gentleman in New York, and during my stay I became extremely interested in the national game. I picked up a few of the American idioms while in the country.” He smiled apologetically. “They sometimes slip out.”
“Let ’em slip!” said Mr. Pett with enthusiasm. “You’re the first thing that’s reminded me of home since I left. Say!”
“Sir?”
“Got a good place here?”
“Er–oh, yes, sir.”
“Well, here’s my card. If you ever feel like making a change, there’s a job waiting for you at that address.”
“Thank you, sir.” Mr. Crocker stooped.
“Your hat, sir.”
He held it out, gazing fondly at it the while. It was like being home again to see a hat like that. He followed Mr. Pett as he went into the morning-room with an affectionate eye.
Bayliss was coming along the hall, hurrying more than his wont. The ring at the front door had found him deep in an extremely interesting piece of news in his halfpenny morning paper, and he was guiltily aware of having delayed in answering it.
“Bayliss,” said Mr. Crocker in a cautious undertone, “go and tell Mrs. Crocker that Mrs. Pett is waiting to see her. She’s in the morning-room. If you’re asked, say you let her in. Get me?”
“Yes, sir,” said Bayliss, grateful for this happy solution.
“Oh, Bayliss!”
“Sir?”
“Is the wicket at Lord’s likely to be too sticky for them to go on with that game to-day?”
“I hardly think it probable that there will be play, sir. There was a great deal of rain in the night.”
Mr. Crocker passed on to his den with a lighter heart.
* * * * *
It was Mrs. Crocker’s habit, acquired after years of practice and a sedulous study of the best models, to conceal beneath a mask of well-bred indifference any emotion which she might chance to feel. Her dealings with the aristocracy of England had shown her that, while the men occasionally permitted themselves an outburst, the women never did, and she had schooled herself so rigorously that nowadays she seldom even raised her voice. Her bearing, as she approached the morning-room was calm and serene, but inwardly curiosity consumed her. It was unbelievable that Nesta could have come to try to effect a reconciliation, yet she could think of no other reason for her visit.
She was surprised to find three persons in the morning-room. Bayliss, delivering his message, had mentioned only Mrs. Pett. To Mrs. Crocker the assemblage had the appearance of being a sort of Old Home Week of Petts, a kind of Pett family mob-scene. Her sister’s second marriage having taken place after their quarrel, she had never seen her new brother-in-law, but she assumed that the little man lurking in the background was Mr. Pett. The guess was confirmed.
“Good morning, Eugenia,” said Mrs. Pett.
“Peter, this is my sister, Eugenia. My husband.”
Mrs. Crocker bowed stiffly. She was thinking how hopelessly American Mr. Pett was, how baggy his clothes looked, what absurdly shaped shoes he wore, how appalling his hat was, how little hair he had and how deplorably he lacked all those graces of repose, culture, physical beauty, refinement, dignity, and mental alertness which raise men above the level of the common cock-roach.
Mr. Pett, on his side, receiving her cold glance squarely between the eyes, felt as if he were being disembowelled by a clumsy amateur. He could not help wondering what sort of a man this fellow Crocker was whom this sister-in-law of his had married. He pictured him as a handsome, powerful, robust individual with a strong jaw and a loud voice, for he could imagine no lesser type of man consenting to link his lot with such a woman. He sidled in a circuitous manner towards a distant chair, and, having lowered himself into it, kept perfectly still, pretending to be dead, like an opossum. He wished to take no part whatever in the coming interview.
“Ogden, of course, you know,” said Mrs. Pett.
She was sitting so stiffly upright on a hard chair and had so much the appearance of having been hewn from the living rock that every time she opened her mouth it was as if a statue had spoken.
“I know Ogden,” said Mrs. Crocker shortly. “Will you please stop him fidgeting with that vase? It is valuable.”
She directed at little Ogden, who was juggling aimlessly with a handsome _objet d’art_ of the early Chinese school, a glance similar to that which had just disposed of his step-father. But Ogden required more than a glance to divert him from any pursuit in which he was interested. He shifted a deposit of candy from his right cheek to his left cheek, inspected Mrs. Crocker for a moment with a pale eye, and resumed his juggling. Mrs. Crocker meant nothing in his young life.
“Ogden, come and sit down,” said Mrs. Pett.
“Don’t want to sit down.”
“Are you making a long stay in England, Nesta?” asked Mrs. Crocker coldly.
“I don’t know. We have made no plans.”
“Indeed?”
She broke off. Ogden, who had possessed himself of a bronze paper-knife, had begun to tap the vase with it. The ringing note thus produced appeared to please his young mind.
“If Ogden really wishes to break that vase,” said Mrs. Crocker in a detached voice, “let me ring for the butler to bring him a hammer.”
“Ogden!” said Mrs. Pett.
“Oh Gee! A fellow can’t do a thing!” muttered Ogden, and walked to the window. He stood looking out into the square, a slight twitching of the ears indicating that he still made progress with the candy.
“Still the same engaging child!” murmured Mrs. Crocker.
“I did not come here to discuss Ogden!” said Mrs. Pett.
Mrs. Crocker raised her eyebrows. Not even Mrs. Otho Lanners, from whom she had learned the art, could do it more effectively.
“I am still waiting to find out why you did come, Nesta!”
“I came here to talk to you about your step-son, James Crocker.”
The discipline to which Mrs. Crocker had subjected herself in the matter of the display of emotion saved her from the humiliation of showing surprise. She waved her hand graciously–in the manner of the Duchess of Axminster, a supreme hand-waver–to indicate that she was all attention.
“Your step-son, James Crocker,” repeated Mrs. Pett. “What is it the New York papers call him, Peter?”
Mr. Pett, the human opossum, came to life. He had contrived to create about himself such a defensive atmosphere of non-existence that now that he re-entered the conversation it was as if a corpse had popped out of its tomb like a jack-in-the-box.
Obeying the voice of authority, he pushed the tombstone to one side and poked his head out of the sepulchre.
“Piccadilly Jim!” he murmured apologetically.
“Piccadilly Jim!” said Mrs. Crocker. “It is extremely impertinent of them!”
In spite of his misery, a wan smile appeared on Mr. Pett’s death-mask at this remark.
“They should worry about–!”
“Peter!”
Mr. Pett died again, greatly respected.
“Why should the New York papers refer to James at all?” said Mrs. Crocker.
“Explain, Peter!”
Mr. Pett emerged reluctantly from the cerements. He had supposed that Nesta would do the talking.
“Well, he’s a news-item.”
“Why?”
“Well, here’s a boy that’s been a regular fellow–raised in America–done work on a newspaper–suddenly taken off to England to become a London dude–mixing with all the dukes, playing pinochle with the King–naturally they’re interested in him.”
A more agreeable expression came over Mrs. Crocker’s face.
“Of course, that is quite true. One cannot prevent the papers from printing what they wish. So they have published articles about James’ doings in English Society?”
“Doings,” said Mr. Pett, “is right!”
“Something has got to be done about it,” said Mrs. Pett.
Mr. Pett endorsed this.
“Nesta’s going to lose her health if these stories go on,” he said.
Mrs. Crocker raised her eyebrows, but she had hard work to keep a contented smile off her face.
“If you are not above petty jealousy, Nesta . . .”
Mrs. Pett laughed a sharp, metallic laugh.
“It is the disgrace I object to!”
“The disgrace!”
“What else would you call it, Eugenia? Wouldn’t you be ashamed if you opened your Sunday paper and came upon a full page article about your nephew having got intoxicated at the races and fought a book-maker–having broken up a political meeting–having been sued for breach-of-promise by a barmaid . . .”
Mrs. Crocker preserved her well-bred calm, but she was shaken. The episodes to which her sister had alluded were ancient history, horrors of the long-dead past, but it seemed that they still lived in print. There and then she registered the resolve to talk to her step-son James when she got hold of him in such a manner as would scourge the offending Adam out of him for once and for all.
“And not only that,” continued Mrs. Pett. “That would be bad enough in itself, but somehow the papers have discovered that I am the boy’s aunt. Two weeks ago they printed my photograph with one of these articles. I suppose they will always do it now. That is why I have come to you. It must stop. And the only way it can be made to stop is by taking your step-son away from London where he is running wild. Peter has most kindly consented to give the boy a position in his office. It is very good of him, for the boy cannot in the nature of things be of any use for a very long time, but we have talked it over and it seems the only course. I have come this morning to ask you to let us take James Crocker back to America with us and keep him out of mischief by giving him honest work. What do you say?”
Mrs. Crocker raised her eyebrows.
“What do you expect me to say? It is utterly preposterous. I have never heard anything so supremely absurd in my life.”
“You refuse?”
“Of course I refuse.”
“I think you are extremely foolish.”
“Indeed!”
Mr. Pett cowed in his chair. He was feeling rather like a nervous and peace-loving patron of a wild western saloon who observes two cowboys reach for their hip-pockets. Neither his wife nor his sister-in-law paid any attention to him. The concluding exercises of a duel of the eyes was in progress between them. After some silent, age-long moments, Mrs. Crocker laughed a light laugh.
“Most extraordinary!” she murmured.
Mrs. Pett was in no mood for Anglicisms.
“You know perfectly well, Eugenia,” she said heatedly, “that James Crocker is being ruined here. For his sake, if not for mine–“
Mrs. Crocker laughed another light laugh, one of those offensive rippling things which cause so much annoyance.
“Don’t be so ridiculous, Nesta! Ruined! Really! It is quite true that, a long while ago, when he was much younger and not quite used to the ways of London Society, James was a little wild, but all that sort of thing is over now. He knows”–she paused, setting herself as it were for the punch–“he knows that at any moment the government may decide to give his father a Peerage . . .”
The blow went home. A quite audible gasp escaped her stricken sister.
“What!”
Mrs. Crocker placed two ringed fingers before her mouth in order not to hide a languid yawn.
“Yes. Didn’t you know? But of course you live so out of the world. Oh yes, it is extremely probable that Mr. Crocker’s name will appear in the next Honours List. He is very highly thought of by the Powers. So naturally James is quite aware that he must behave in a suitable manner. He is a dear boy! He was handicapped at first by getting into the wrong set, but now his closest friend is Lord Percy Whipple, the second son of the Duke of Devizes, who is one of the most eminent men in the kingdom and a personal friend of the Premier.”
Mrs. Pett was in bad shape under this rain of titles, but she rallied herself to reply in kind.
“Indeed?” she said. “I should like to meet him. I have no doubt he knows our great friend, Lord Wisbeach.”
Mrs. Crocker was a little taken aback. She had not supposed that her sister had even this small shot in her locker.
“Do you know Lord Wisbeach?” she said.
“Oh yes,” replied Mrs. Pett, beginning to feel a little better. “We have been seeing him every day. He always says that he looks on my house as quite a home. He knows so few people in New York. It has been a great comfort to him, I think, knowing us.”
Mrs. Crocker had had time now to recover her poise.
“Poor dear Wizzy!” she said languidly.
Mrs. Pett started.
“What!”
“I suppose he is still the same dear, stupid, shiftless fellow? He left here with the intention of travelling round the world, and he has stopped in New York! How like him!”
“Do you know Lord Wisbeach?” demanded Mrs. Pett.
Mrs. Crocker raised her eyebrows.
“Know him? Why, I suppose, after Lord Percy Whipple, he is James’ most intimate friend!”
Mrs. Pett rose. She was dignified even in defeat. She collected Ogden and Mr. Pett with an eye which even Ogden could see was not to be trifled with. She uttered no word.
“Must you really go?” said Mrs. Crocker. “It was sweet of you to bother to come all the way from America like this. So strange to meet any one from America nowadays. Most extraordinary!”
The _cortege_ left the room in silence. Mrs. Crocker had touched the bell, but the mourners did not wait for the arrival of Bayliss. They were in no mood for the formalities of polite Society. They wanted to be elsewhere, and they wanted to be there quick. The front door had closed behind them before the butler reached the morning-room.
“Bayliss,” said Mrs. Crocker with happy, shining face, “send for the car to come round at once.”
“Very good, madam.”
“Is Mr. James up yet?”
“I believe not, madam.”
Mrs. Crocker went upstairs to her room. If Bayliss had not been within earshot, she would probably have sung a bar or two. Her amiability extended even to her step-son, though she had not altered her intention of speaking eloquently to him on certain matters when she could get hold of him. That, however, could wait. For the moment, she felt in vein for a gentle drive in the Park.
A few minutes after she had disappeared, there was a sound of slow footsteps on the stairs, and a young man came down into the hall. Bayliss, who had finished telephoning to the garage for Mrs. Crocker’s limousine and was about to descend to those lower depths where he had his being, turned, and a grave smile of welcome played over his face.
“Good morning, Mr. James,” he said.
CHAPTER IV
JIMMY’S DISTURBING NEWS
Jimmy Crocker was a tall and well-knit young man who later on in the day would no doubt be at least passably good-looking. At the moment an unbecoming pallor marred his face, and beneath his eyes were marks that suggested that he had slept little and ill. He stood at the foot of the stairs, yawning cavernously.
“Bayliss,” he said, “have you been painting yourself yellow?”
“No, sir.”
“Strange! Your face looks a bright gamboge to me, and your outlines wobble. Bayliss, never mix your drinks. I say this to you as a friend. Is there any one in the morning-room?”
“No, Mr. James.”
“Speak softly, Bayliss, for I am not well. I am conscious of a strange weakness. Lead me to the morning-room, then, and lay me gently on a sofa. These are the times that try men’s souls.”
The sun was now shining strongly through the windows of the morning-room. Bayliss lowered the shades. Jimmy Crocker sank onto the sofa, and closed his eyes.
“Bayliss.”
“Sir?”
“A conviction is stealing over me that I am about to expire.”
“Shall I bring you a little breakfast, Mr. James?”
A strong shudder shook Jimmy.
“Don’t be flippant, Bayliss,” he protested. “Try to cure yourself of this passion for being funny at the wrong time. Your comedy is good, but tact is a finer quality than humour. Perhaps you think I have forgotten that morning when I was feeling just as I do to-day and you came to my bedside and asked me if I would like a nice rasher of ham. I haven’t and I never shall. You may bring me a brandy-and-soda. Not a large one. A couple of bath-tubs full will be enough.”
“Very good, Mr. James.”
“And now leave me, Bayliss, for I would be alone. I have to make a series of difficult and exhaustive tests to ascertain whether I am still alive.”
When the butler had gone, Jimmy adjusted the cushions, closed his eyes, and remained for a space in a state of coma. He was trying, as well as an exceedingly severe headache would permit, to recall the salient events of the previous night. At present his memories refused to solidify. They poured about in his brain in a fluid and formless condition, exasperating to one who sought for hard facts.
It seemed strange to Jimmy that the shadowy and inchoate vision of a combat, a fight, a brawl of some kind persisted in flitting about in the recesses of his mind, always just far enough away to elude capture. The absurdity of the thing annoyed him. A man has either indulged in a fight overnight or he has not indulged in a fight overnight. There can be no middle course. That he should be uncertain on the point was ridiculous. Yet, try as he would, he could not be sure. There were moments when he seemed on the very verge of settling the matter, and then some invisible person would meanly insert a red-hot corkscrew in the top of his head and begin to twist it, and this would interfere with calm thought. He was still in a state of uncertainty when Bayliss returned, bearing healing liquids on a tray.
“Shall I set it beside you, sir?”
Jimmy opened one eye.
“Indubitably. No mean word, that, Bayliss, for the morning after. Try it yourself next time. Bayliss, who let me in this morning?”
“Let you in, sir?”
“Precisely. I was out and now I am in. Obviously I must have passed the front door somehow. This is logic.”
“I fancy you let yourself in, Mr. James, with your key.”
“That would seem to indicate that I was in a state of icy sobriety. Yet, if such is the case, how is it that I can’t remember whether I murdered somebody or not last night? It isn’t the sort of thing your sober man would lightly forget. Have you ever murdered anybody, Bayliss?”
“No, sir.”
“Well, if you had, you would remember it next morning?”
“I imagine so, Mr. James.”
“Well, it’s a funny thing, but I can’t get rid of the impression that at some point in my researches into the night life of London yestreen I fell upon some person to whom I had never been introduced and committed mayhem upon his person.”
It seemed to Bayliss that the time had come to impart to Mr. James a piece of news which he had supposed would require no imparting. He looked down upon his young master’s recumbent form with a grave commiseration. It was true that he had never been able to tell with any certainty whether Mr. James intended the statements he made to be taken literally or not, but on the present occasion he seemed to have spoken seriously and to be genuinely at a loss to recall an episode over the printed report of which the entire domestic staff had been gloating ever since the arrival of the halfpenny morning paper to which they subscribed.
“Do you really mean it, Mr. James?” he enquired cautiously.
“Mean what?”
“You have really forgotten that you were engaged in a fracas last night at the Six Hundred Club?”
Jimmy sat up with a jerk, staring at this omniscient man. Then the movement having caused a renewal of the operations of the red-hot corkscrew, he fell back again with a groan.
“Was I? How on earth did you know? Why should you know all about it when I can’t remember a thing? It was my fault, not yours.”
“There is quite a long report of it in to-day’s _Daily Sun_, Mr. James.”
“A report? In the _Sun_?”
“Half a column, Mr. James. Would you like me to fetch the paper? I have it in my pantry.”
“I should say so. Trot a quick heat back with it. This wants looking into.”
Bayliss retired, to return immediately with the paper. Jimmy took it, gazed at it, and handed it back.
“I overestimated my powers. It can’t be done. Have you any important duties at the moment, Bayliss?”
“No, sir.”
“Perhaps you wouldn’t mind reading me the bright little excerpt, then?”
“Certainly, sir.”
“It will be good practice for you. I am convinced I am going to be a confirmed invalid for the rest of my life, and it will be part of your job to sit at my bedside and read to me. By the way, does the paper say who the party of the second part was? Who was the citizen with whom I went to the mat?”
“Lord Percy Whipple, Mr. James.”
“Lord who?”
“Lord Percy Whipple.”
“Never heard of him. Carry on, Bayliss.”
Jimmy composed himself to listen, yawning.
CHAPTER V
THE MORNING AFTER
Bayliss took a spectacle-case from the recesses of his costume, opened it, took out a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, dived into the jungle again, came out with a handkerchief, polished the spectacles, put them on his nose, closed the case, restored it to its original position, replaced the handkerchief, and took up the paper.
“Why the hesitation, Bayliss? Why the coyness?” enquired Jimmy, lying with closed eyes. “Begin!”
“I was adjusting my glasses, sir.”
“All set now?”
“Yes, sir. Shall I read the headlines first?”
“Read everything.”
The butler cleared his throat.
“Good Heavens, Bayliss,” moaned Jimmy, starting, “don’t gargle. Have a heart! Go on!”
Bayliss began to read.
FRACAS IN FASHIONABLE NIGHT-CLUB
SPRIGS OF NOBILITY BRAWL
Jimmy opened his eyes, interested.
“Am I a sprig of nobility?”
“It is what the paper says, sir.”
“We live and learn. Carry on.”
The butler started to clear his throat, but checked himself.
SENSATIONAL INTERNATIONAL CONTEST
BATTLING PERCY
(England)
v
CYCLONE JIM
(America)
FULL DESCRIPTION BY OUR EXPERT
Jimmy sat up.
“Bayliss, you’re indulging that distorted sense of humour of yours again. That isn’t in the paper?”
“Yes, sir. Very large headlines.”
Jimmy groaned.
“Bayliss, I’ll give you a piece of advice which may be useful to you when you grow up. Never go about with newspaper men. It all comes back to me. Out of pure kindness of heart I took young Bill Blake of the _Sun_ to supper at the Six Hundred last night. This is my reward. I suppose he thinks it funny. Newspaper men are a low lot, Bayliss.”
“Shall I go on, sir?”
“Most doubtless. Let me hear all.”
Bayliss resumed. He was one of those readers who, whether their subject be a murder case or a funny anecdote, adopt a measured and sepulchral delivery which gives a suggestion of tragedy and horror to whatever they read. At the church which he attended on Sundays, of which he was one of the most influential and respected members, children would turn pale and snuggle up to their mothers when Bayliss read the lessons. Young Mr. Blake’s account of the overnight proceedings at the Six Hundred Club he rendered with a gloomy gusto more marked even than his wont. It had a topical interest for him which urged him to extend himself.
“At an early hour this morning, when our myriad readers were enjoying that refreshing and brain-restoring sleep so necessary to the proper appreciation of the _Daily Sun_ at the breakfast table, one of the most interesting sporting events of the season was being pulled off at the Six Hundred Club in Regent Street, where, after three rounds of fast exchanges, James B. Crocker, the well-known American welter-weight scrapper, succeeded in stopping Lord Percy Whipple, second son of the Duke of Devizes, better known as the Pride of Old England. Once again the superiority of the American over the English style of boxing was demonstrated. Battling Percy has a kind heart, but Cyclone Jim packs the punch.”
“The immediate cause of the encounter had to do with a disputed table, which each gladiator claimed to have engaged in advance over the telephone.”
“I begin to remember,” said Jimmy meditatively. “A pill with butter-coloured hair tried to jump my claim. Honeyed words proving fruitless, I soaked him on the jaw. It may be that I was not wholly myself. I seem to remember an animated session at the Empire earlier in the evening, which may have impaired my self-control. Proceed!”
“One word leading to others, which in their turn led to several more, Cyclone Jim struck Battling Percy on what our rude forefathers were accustomed to describe as the mazzard, and the gong sounded for
“ROUND ONE
“Both men came up fresh and eager to mix things, though it seems only too probable that they had already been mixing more things than was good for them. Battling Percy tried a right swing which got home on a waiter. Cyclone Jim put in a rapid one-two punch which opened a large gash in the atmosphere. Both men sparred cautiously, being hampered in their movements by the fact, which neither had at this stage of the proceedings perceived, that they were on opposite sides of the disputed table. A clever Fitzsimmons’ shift on the part of the Battler removed this obstacle, and some brisk work ensued in neutral territory. Percy landed twice without a return. The Battler’s round by a shade.
“ROUND TWO
“The Cyclone came out of his corner with a rush, getting home on the Battler’s shirt-front and following it up with a right to the chin. Percy swung wildly and upset a bottle of champagne on a neighbouring table. A good rally followed, both men doing impressive in-fighting. The Cyclone landed three without a return. The Cyclone’s round.
“ROUND THREE
“Percy came up weak, seeming to be overtrained. The Cyclone waded in, using both hands effectively. The Battler fell into a clinch, but the Cyclone broke away and, measuring his distance, picked up a haymaker from the floor and put it over. Percy down and out.
“Interviewed by our representative after the fight, Cyclone Jim said: ‘The issue was never in doubt. I was handicapped at the outset by the fact that I was under the impression that I was fighting three twin-brothers, and I missed several opportunities of putting over the winning wallop by attacking the outside ones. It was only in the second round that I decided to concentrate my assault on the one in the middle, when the affair speedily came to a conclusion. I shall not adopt pugilism as a profession. The prizes are attractive, but it is too much like work.'”
Bayliss ceased, and silence fell upon the room.
“Is that all?”
“That is all, sir.”
“And about enough.”
“Very true, sir.”
“You know, Bayliss,” said Jimmy thoughtfully, rolling over on the couch, “life is peculiar, not to say odd. You never know what is waiting for you round the corner. You start the day with the fairest prospects, and before nightfall everything is as rocky and ding-basted as stig tossed full of doodlegammon. Why is this, Bayliss?”
“I couldn’t say, sir.”
“Look at me. I go out to spend a happy evening, meaning no harm to any one, and I come back all blue with the blood of the aristocracy. We now come to a serious point. Do you think my lady stepmother has read that sporting chronicle?”
“I fancy not, Mr. James.”
“On what do you base these words of comfort?”
“Mrs. Crocker does not read the halfpenny papers, sir.”
“True! She does not. I had forgotten. On the other hand the probability that she will learn about the little incident from other sources is great. I think the merest prudence suggests that I keep out of the way for the time being, lest I be fallen upon and questioned. I am not equal to being questioned this morning. I have a headache which starts at the soles of my feet and gets worse all the way up. Where is my stepmother?”
“Mrs. Crocker is in her room, Mr. James. She ordered the car to be brought round at once. It should be here at any moment now, sir. I think Mrs. Crocker intends to visit the Park before luncheon.”
“Is she lunching out?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Then, if I pursue the excellent common-sense tactics of the lesser sand-eel, which as you doubtless know buries itself tail upwards in the mud on hearing the baying of the eel-hounds and remains in that position till the danger is past, I shall be able to postpone an interview. Should you be questioned as to my whereabouts, inflate your chest and reply in a clear and manly voice that I have gone out, you know not where. May I rely on your benevolent neutrality, Bayliss?”
“Very good, Mr. James.”
“I think I will go and sit in my father’s den. A man may lie hid there with some success as a rule.”
Jimmy heaved himself painfully off the sofa, blinked, and set out for the den, where his father, in a deep arm-chair, was smoking a restful pipe and reading the portions of the daily papers which did not deal with the game of cricket.
Mr. Crocker’s den was a small room at the back of the house. It was not luxurious, and it looked out onto a blank wall, but it was the spot he liked best in all that vast pile which had once echoed to the tread of titled shoes; for, as he sometimes observed to his son, it had the distinction of being the only room on the ground floor where a fellow could move without stubbing his toe on a countess or an honourable. In this peaceful backwater he could smoke a pipe, put his feet up, take off his coat, and generally indulge in that liberty and pursuit of happiness to which the Constitution entitles a free-born American. Nobody ever came there except Jimmy and himself.
He did not suspend his reading at his son’s entrance. He muttered a welcome through the clouds, but he did not raise his eyes. Jimmy took the other arm-chair, and began to smoke silently. It was the unwritten law of the den that soothing silence rather than aimless chatter should prevail. It was not until a quarter of an hour had passed that Mr. Crocker dropped his paper and spoke.
“Say, Jimmy, I want to talk to you.”
“Say on. You have our ear.”
“Seriously.”
“Continue–always, however, keeping before you the fact that I am a sick man. Last night was a wild night on the moors, dad.”
“It’s about your stepmother. She was talking at breakfast about you. She’s sore at you for giving Spike Dillon lunch at the Carlton. You oughtn’t to have taken him there, Jimmy. That’s what got her goat. She was there with a bunch of swells and they had to sit and listen to Spike talking about his half-scissors hook.”
“What’s their kick against Spike’s half-scissors hook? It’s a darned good one.”
“She said she was going to speak to you about it. I thought I’d let you know.”
“Thanks, dad. But was that all?”
“All.”
“All that she was going to speak to me about? Sure there was nothing else?”
“She didn’t say anything about anything else.”
“Then she _doesn’t_ know! Fine!”
Mr. Crocker’s feet came down from the mantelpiece with a crash.
“Jimmy! You haven’t been raising Cain again?”
“No, no, dad. Nothing serious. High-spirited Young Patrician stuff, the sort of thing that’s expected of a fellow in my position.”
Mr. Crocker was not to be comforted.
“Jimmy, you’ve got to pull up. Honest, you have. I don’t care for myself. I like to see a boy having a good time. But your stepmother says you’re apt to queer us with the people up top, the way you’re going on. Lord knows I wouldn’t care if things were different, but I’ll tell you exactly how I stand. I didn’t get wise till this morning. Your stepmother sprang it on me suddenly. I’ve often wondered what all this stuff was about, this living in London and trailing the swells. I couldn’t think what was your stepmother’s idea. Now I know. Jimmy, she’s trying to get them to make me a peer!”
“What!”
“Just that. And she says–“
“But, dad, this is rich! This is comedy of a high order! A peer! Good Heavens, if it comes off, what shall I be? This title business is all so complicated. I know I should have to change my name to Hon. Rollo Cholmondeley or the Hon. Aubrey Marjoribanks, but what I want to know is which? I want to be prepared for the worst.”
“And you see, Jimmy, these people up top, the guys who arrange the giving of titles, are keeping an eye on you, because you would have the title after me and naturally they don’t want to get stung. I gathered all that from your stepmother. Say, Jimmy, I’m not asking a lot of you, but there is just one thing you can do for me without putting yourself out too much.”
“I’ll do it, dad, if it kills me. Slip me the info!”
“Your stepmother’s friend Lady Corstorphine’s nephew . . .”
“It’s not the sort of story to ask a man with a headache to follow. I hope it gets simpler as it goes along.”
“Your stepmother wants you to be a good fellow and make friends with this boy. You see, his father is in right with the Premier and has the biggest kind of a pull when it comes to handing out titles.”
“Is that all you want? Leave it to me. Inside of a week I’ll be playing kiss-in-the-ring with him. The whole force of my sunny personality shall be directed towards making him love me. What’s his name?”
“Lord Percy Whipple.”
Jimmy’s pipe fell with a clatter.
“Dad, pull yourself together! Reflect! You know you don’t seriously mean Lord Percy Whipple.”
“Eh?”
Jimmy laid a soothing hand on his father’s shoulder.
“Dad, prepare yourself for the big laugh. This is where you throw your head back and roar with honest mirth. I met Lord Percy Whipple last night at the Six Hundred Club. Words ensued. I fell upon Percy and beat his block off! How it started, except that we both wanted the same table, I couldn’t say. ‘Why, that I cannot tell,’ said he, ‘but ’twas a famous victory!’ If I had known, dad, nothing would have induced me to lay a hand upon Perce, save in the way of kindness, but, not even knowing who he was, it would appear from contemporary accounts of the affair that I just naturally sailed in and expunged the poor, dear boy!”
The stunning nature of this information had much the same effect on Mr. Crocker as the announcement of his ruin has upon the Good Old Man in melodrama. He sat clutching the arms of his chair and staring into space, saying nothing. Dismay was written upon his anguished countenance.
His collapse sobered Jimmy. For the first time he perceived that the situation had another side than the humorous one which had appealed to him. He had anticipated that Mr. Crocker, who as a general thing shared his notions of what was funny and could be relied on to laugh in the right place, would have been struck, like himself, by the odd and pleasing coincidence of his having picked on for purposes of assault and battery the one young man with whom his stepmother wished him to form a firm and lasting friendship. He perceived now that his father was seriously upset. Neither Jimmy nor Mr. Crocker possessed a demonstrative nature, but there had always existed between them the deepest affection. Jimmy loved his father as he loved nobody else in the world, and the thought of having hurt him was like a physical pain. His laughter died away and he set himself with a sinking heart to try to undo the effect of his words.
“I’m awfully sorry, dad. I had no idea you would care. I wouldn’t have done a fool thing like that for a million dollars if I’d known. Isn’t there anything I can do? Gee whiz! I’ll go right round to Percy now and apologise. I’ll lick his boots. Don’t you worry, dad. I’ll make it all right.”
The whirl of words roused Mr. Crocker from his thoughts.
“It doesn’t matter, Jimmy. Don’t worry yourself. It’s only a little unfortunate, because your stepmother says she won’t think of our going back to America till these people here have given me a title. She wants to put one over on her sister. That’s all that’s troubling me, the thought that this affair will set us back, this Lord Percy being in so strong with the guys who give the titles. I guess it will mean my staying on here for a while longer, and I’d liked to have seen another ball-game. Jimmy, do you know they call baseball Rounders in this country, and children play it with a soft ball!”
Jimmy was striding up and down the little room. Remorse had him in its grip.
“What a damned fool I am!”
“Never mind, Jimmy. It’s unfortunate, but it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t know.”
“It was my fault. Nobody but a fool like me would go about beating people up. But don’t worry, dad. It’s going to be all right. I’ll fix it. I’m going right round to this fellow Percy now to make things all right. I won’t come back till I’ve squared him. Don’t you bother yourself about it any longer, dad. It’s going to be all right.”
CHAPTER VI
JIMMY ABANDONS PICCADILLY
Jimmy removed himself sorrowfully from the doorstep of the Duke of Devizes’ house in Cleveland Row. His mission had been a failure. In answer to his request to be permitted to see Lord Percy Whipple, the butler had replied that Lord Percy was confined to his bed and was seeing nobody. He eyed Jimmy, on receiving his name, with an interest which he failed to conceal, for he too, like Bayliss, had read and heartily enjoyed Bill Blake’s spirited version of the affair of last night which had appeared in the _Daily Sun_. Indeed, he had clipped the report out and had been engaged in pasting it in an album when the bell rang.
In face of this repulse, Jimmy’s campaign broke down. He was at a loss to know what to do next. He ebbed away from the Duke’s front door like an army that has made an unsuccessful frontal attack on an impregnable fortress. He could hardly force his way in and search for Lord Percy.
He walked along Pall Mall, deep in thought. It was a beautiful day. The rain which had fallen in the night and relieved Mr. Crocker from the necessity of watching cricket had freshened London up.
The sun was shining now from a turquoise sky. A gentle breeze blew from the south. Jimmy made his way into Piccadilly, and found that thoroughfare a-roar with happy automobilists and cheery pedestrians. Their gaiety irritated him. He resented their apparent enjoyment of life.
Jimmy’s was not a nature that lent itself readily to introspection, but he was putting himself now through a searching self-examination which was revealing all kinds of unsuspected flaws in his character. He had been having too good a time for years past to have leisure to realise that he possessed any responsibilities. He had lived each day as it came in the spirit of the Monks of Thelema. But his father’s reception of the news of last night’s escapade and the few words he had said had given him pause. Life had taken on of a sudden a less simple aspect. Dimly, for he was not accustomed to thinking along these lines, he perceived the numbing truth that we human beings are merely as many pieces in a jig-saw puzzle and that our every movement affects the fortunes of some other piece. Just so, faintly at first and taking shape by degrees, must the germ of civic spirit have come to Prehistoric Man. We are all individualists till we wake up.
The thought of having done anything to make his father unhappy was bitter to Jimmy Crocker. They had always been more like brothers than father and son. Hard thoughts about himself surged through Jimmy’s mind. With a dejectedness to which it is possible that his headache contributed he put the matter squarely to himself. His father was longing to return to America–he, Jimmy, by his idiotic behaviour was putting obstacles in the way of that return–what was the answer? The answer, to Jimmy’s way of thinking, was that all was not well with James Crocker, that, when all the evidence was weighed, James Crocker would appear to be a fool, a worm, a selfish waster, and a hopeless, low-down, skunk.
Having come to this conclusion, Jimmy found himself so low in spirit that the cheerful bustle of Piccadilly was too much for him. He turned, and began to retrace his steps. Arriving in due course at the top of the Haymarket he hesitated, then turned down it till he reached Cockspur Street. Here the Trans-Atlantic steamship companies have their offices, and so it came about that Jimmy, chancing to look up as he walked, perceived before him, riding gallantly on a cardboard ocean behind a plate-glass window, the model of a noble vessel. He stopped, conscious of a curious thrill. There is a superstition in all of us. When an accidental happening chances to fit smoothly in with a mood, seeming to come as a direct commentary on that mood, we are apt to accept it in defiance of our pure reason as an omen. Jimmy strode to the window and inspected the model narrowly. The sight of it had started a new train of thought. His heart began to race. Hypnotic influences were at work on him.
Why not? Could there be a simpler solution of the whole trouble?
Inside the office he would see a man with whiskers buying a ticket for New York. The simplicity of the process fascinated him. All you had to do was to walk in, bend over the counter while the clerk behind it made dabs with a pencil at the illustrated plate of the ship’s interior organs, and hand over your money. A child could do it, if in funds. At this thought his hand strayed to his trouser-pocket. A musical crackling of bank-notes proceeded from the depths. His quarterly allowance had been paid to him only a short while before, and, though a willing spender, he still retained a goodly portion of it. He rustled the notes again. There was enough in that pocket to buy three tickets to New York. Should he? . . . Or, on the other hand–always look on both sides of the question–should he not?
It would certainly seem to be the best thing for all parties if he did follow the impulse. By remaining in London he was injuring everybody, himself included. . . . Well, there was no harm in making enquiries. Probably the boat was full up anyway. . . . He walked into the office.
“Have you anything left on the _Atlantic_ this trip?”
The clerk behind the counter was quite the wrong sort of person for Jimmy to have had dealings with in his present mood. What Jimmy needed was a grave, sensible man who would have laid a hand on his shoulder and said “Do nothing rash, my boy!” The clerk fell short of this ideal in practically every particular. He was about twenty-two, and he seemed perfectly enthusiastic about the idea of Jimmy going to America. He beamed at Jimmy.
“Plenty of room,” he said. “Very few people crossing. Give you excellent accommodation.”
“When does the boat sail?”
“Eight to-morrow morning from Liverpool. Boat-train leaves Paddington six to-night.”
Prudence came at the eleventh hour to check Jimmy. This was not a matter, he perceived, to be decided recklessly, on the spur of a sudden impulse. Above all, it was not a matter to be decided before lunch. An empty stomach breeds imagination. He had ascertained that he could sail on the _Atlantic_ if he wished to. The sensible thing to do now was to go and lunch and see how he felt about it after that. He thanked the clerk, and started to walk up the Haymarket, feeling hard-headed and practical, yet with a strong premonition that he was going to make a fool of himself just the same.
It was half-way up the Haymarket that he first became conscious of the girl with the red hair.
Plunged in thought, he had not noticed her before. And yet she had been walking a few paces in front of him most of the way. She had come out of Panton Street, walking briskly, as one going to keep a pleasant appointment. She carried herself admirably, with a jaunty swing.
Having become conscious of this girl, Jimmy, ever a warm admirer of the sex, began to feel a certain interest stealing over him. With interest came speculation. He wondered who she was. He wondered where she had bought that excellently fitting suit of tailor-made grey. He admired her back, and wondered whether her face, if seen, would prove a disappointment. Thus musing, he drew near to the top of the Haymarket, where it ceases to be a street and becomes a whirlpool of rushing traffic. And here the girl, having paused and looked over her shoulder, stepped off the sidewalk. As she did so a taxi-cab rounded the corner quickly from the direction of Coventry Street.
The agreeable surprise of finding the girl’s face fully as attractive as her back had stimulated Jimmy, so that he was keyed up for the exhibition of swift presence-of-mind. He jumped forward and caught her arm, and swung her to one side as the cab rattled past, its driver thinking hard thoughts to himself. The whole episode was an affair of seconds.
“Thank you,” said the girl.
She rubbed the arm which he had seized with rather a rueful expression. She was a little white, and her breath came quickly.
“I hope I didn’t hurt you,” said Jimmy.
“You did. Very much. But the taxi would have hurt me more.”
She laughed. She looked very attractive when she laughed. She had a small, piquant, vivacious face. Jimmy, as he looked at it, had an odd feeling that he had seen her before–when and where he did not know. That mass of red-gold hair seemed curiously familiar. Somewhere in the hinterland of his mind there lurked a memory, but he could not bring it into the open. As for the girl, if she had ever met him before, she showed no signs of recollecting it. Jimmy decided that, if he had seen her, it must have been in his reporter days. She was plainly an American, and he occasionally had the feeling that he had seen every one in America when he had worked for the _Chronicle_.
“That’s right,” he said approvingly. “Always look on the bright side.”
“I only arrived in London yesterday,” said the girl, “and I haven’t got used to your keeping-to-the-left rules. I don’t suppose I shall ever get back to New York alive. Perhaps, as you have saved my life, you wouldn’t mind doing me another service. Can you tell me which is the nearest and safest way to a restaurant called the Regent Grill?”
“It’s just over there, at the corner of Regent Street. As to the safest way, if I were you I should cross over at the top of the street there and then work round westward. Otherwise you will have to cross Piccadilly Circus.”
“I absolutely refuse even to try to cross Piccadilly Circus. Thank you very much. I will follow your advice. I hope I shall get there. It doesn’t seem at all likely.”
She gave him a little nod, and moved away. Jimmy turned into that drug-store at the top of the Haymarket at which so many Londoners have found healing and comfort on the morning after, and bought the pink drink for which his system had been craving since he rose from bed. He wondered why, as he drained it, he should feel ashamed and guilty.
A few minutes later he found himself, with mild surprise, going down the steps of the Regent Grill. It was the last place he had had in his mind when he had left the steamship company’s offices in quest of lunch. He had intended to seek out some quiet, restful nook where he could be alone with his thoughts. If anybody had told him then that five minutes later he would be placing himself of his own free will within the range of a restaurant orchestra playing “My Little Grey Home in the West”–and the orchestra at the Regent played little else–he would not have believed him.
Restaurants in all large cities have their ups and downs. At this time the Regent Grill was enjoying one of those bursts of popularity for which restaurateurs pray to whatever strange gods they worship. The more prosperous section of London’s Bohemia flocked to it daily. When Jimmy had deposited his hat with the robber-band who had their cave just inside the main entrance and had entered the grill-room, he found it congested. There did not appear to be a single unoccupied table.
From where he stood he could see the girl of the red-gold hair. Her back was towards him, and she was sitting at a table against one of the pillars with a little man with eye-glasses, a handsome woman in the forties, and a small stout boy who was skirmishing with the olives. As Jimmy hesitated, the vigilant head-waiter, who knew him well, perceived him, and hurried up.
“In one moment, Mister Crockaire!” he said, and began to scatter commands among the underlings. “I will place a table for you in the aisle.”
“Next to that pillar, please,” said Jimmy.
The underlings had produced a small table–apparently from up their sleeves, and were draping it in a cloth. Jimmy sat down and gave his order. Ordering was going on at the other table. The little man seemed depressed at the discovery that corn on the cob and soft-shelled crabs were not to be obtained, and his wife’s reception of the news that clams were not included in the Regent’s bill-of-fare was so indignant that one would have said that she regarded the fact as evidence that Great Britain was going to pieces and would shortly lose her place as a world power.
A selection having finally been agreed upon, the orchestra struck up “My Little Grey Home in the West,” and no attempt was made to compete with it. When the last lingering strains had died away and the violinist-leader, having straightened out the kinks in his person which the rendition of the melody never failed to produce, had bowed for the last time, a clear, musical voice spoke from the other side of the pillar.
“Jimmy Crocker is a WORM!”
Jimmy spilled his cocktail. It might have been the voice of Conscience.
“I despise him more than any one on earth. I hate to think that he’s an American.”
Jimmy drank the few drops that remained in his glass, partly to make sure of them, partly as a restorative. It is an unnerving thing to be despised by a red-haired girl whose life you have just saved. To Jimmy it was not only unnerving; it was uncanny. This girl had not known him when they met on the street a few moments before. How then was she able to display such intimate acquaintance with his character now as to describe him–justly enough–as a worm? Mingled with the mystery of the thing was its pathos. The thought that a girl could be as pretty as this one and yet dislike him so much was one of the saddest things Jimmy had ever come across. It was like one of those Things Which Make Me Weep In This Great City so dear to the hearts of the sob-writers of his late newspaper.
A waiter bustled up with a high-ball. Jimmy thanked him with his eyes. He needed it. He raised it to his lips.
“He’s always drinking–“
He set it down hurriedly.
“–and making a disgraceful exhibition of himself in public! I always think Jimmy Crocker–“
Jimmy began to wish that somebody would stop this girl. Why couldn’t the little man change the subject to the weather, or that stout child start prattling about some general topic? Surely a boy of that age, newly arrived in London, must have all sorts of things to prattle about? But the little man was dealing strenuously with a breaded cutlet, while the stout boy, grimly silent, surrounded fish-pie in the forthright manner of a starving python. As for the elder woman, she seemed to be wrestling with unpleasant thoughts, beyond speech.
“–I always think that Jimmy Crocker is the worst case I know of the kind of American young man who spends all his time in Europe and tries to become an imitation Englishman. Most of them are the sort any country would be glad to get rid of, but he used to work once, so you can’t excuse him on the ground that he hasn’t the sense to know what he’s doing. He’s deliberately chosen to loaf about London and make a pest of himself. He went to pieces with his eyes open. He’s a perfect, utter, hopeless WORM!”
Jimmy had never been very fond of the orchestra at the Regent Grill, holding the view that it interfered with conversation and made for an unhygienic rapidity of mastication; but he was profoundly grateful to it now for bursting suddenly into _La Boheme_, the loudest item in its repertory. Under cover of that protective din he was able to toy with a steaming dish which his waiter had brought. Probably that girl was saying all sorts of things about him still but he could not hear them.
The music died away. For a moment the tortured air quivered in comparative silence; then the girl’s voice spoke again. She had, however, selected another topic of conversation.
“I’ve seen all I want to of England,” she said, “I’ve seen Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament and His Majesty’s Theatre and the Savoy and the Cheshire Cheese, and I’ve developed a frightful home-sickness. Why shouldn’t we go back to-morrow?”
For the first time in the proceedings the elder woman spoke. She cast aside her mantle of gloom long enough to say “Yes,” then wrapped it round her again. The little man, who had apparently been waiting for her vote before giving his own, said that the sooner he was on board a New York-bound boat the better he would be pleased. The stout boy said nothing. He had finished his fish-pie, and was now attacking jam roll with a sort of morose resolution.
“There’s certain to be a boat,” said the girl. “There always is. You’ve got to say that for England–it’s an easy place to get back to America from.” She paused. “What I can’t understand is how, after having been in America and knowing what it was like, Jimmy Crocker could stand living . . .”
The waiter had come to Jimmy’s side, bearing cheese; but Jimmy looked at it with dislike and shook his head in silent negation. He was about to depart from this place. His capacity for absorbing home-truths about himself was exhausted. He placed a noiseless sovereign on the table, caught the waiter’s eye, registered renunciation, and departed soft-footed down the aisle. The waiter, a man who had never been able to bring himself to believe in miracles, revised the views of a life-time. He looked at the sovereign, then at Jimmy, then at the sovereign again. Then he took up the coin and bit it furtively.
A few minutes later, a hat-check boy, untipped for the first time in his predatory career, was staring at Jimmy with equal intensity, but with far different feelings. Speechless concern was limned on his young face.
The commissionaire at the Piccadilly entrance of the restaurant touched his hat ingratiatingly, with the smug confidence of a man who is accustomed to getting sixpence a time for doing it.
“Taxi, Mr. Crocker?”
“A worm,” said Jimmy.
“Beg pardon, sir?”
“Always drinking,” explained Jimmy, “and making a pest of himself.”
He passed on. The commissionaire stared after him as intently as the waiter and the hat-check boy. He had sometimes known Mr. Crocker like this after supper, but never before during the luncheon hour.
Jimmy made his way to his club in Northumberland Avenue. For perhaps half an hour he sat in a condition of coma in the smoking-room; then, his mind made up, he went to one of the writing-tables. He sat awaiting inspiration for some minutes, then began to write.
The letter he wrote was to his father:
Dear Dad:
I have been thinking over what we talked about this morning, and it seems to me the best thing I can do is to drop out of sight for a brief space. If I stay on in London, I am likely at any moment to pull some boner like last night’s which will spill the beans for you once more. The least I can do for you is to give you a clear field and not interfere, so I am off to New York by to-night’s boat.
I went round to Percy’s to try to grovel in the dust before him, but he wouldn’t see me. It’s no good grovelling in the dust of the front steps for the benefit of a man who’s in bed on the second floor, so I withdrew in more or less good order. I then got the present idea. Mark how all things work together for good. When they come to you and say “No title for you. Your son slugged our pal Percy,” all you have to do is to come back at them with “I know my son slugged Percy, and believe me I didn’t do a thing to him! I packed him off to America within twenty-four hours. Get me right, boys! I’m anti-Jimmy and pro-Percy.” To which their reply will be “Oh, well, in that case arise, Lord Crocker!” or whatever they say when slipping a title to a deserving guy. So you will see that by making this getaway I am doing the best I can to put things straight. I shall give this to Bayliss to give to you. I am going to call him up on the phone in a minute to have him pack a few simple tooth-brushes and so on for me. On landing in New York, I shall instantly proceed to the Polo Grounds to watch a game of Rounders, and will cable you the full score. Well. I think that’s about all. So good-bye–or even farewell–for the present.
J.
P.S. I know you’ll understand, dad. I’m doing what seems to me the only possible thing. Don’t worry about me. I shall be all right. I’ll get back my old job and be a terrific success all round. You go ahead and get that title and then meet me at the entrance of the Polo Grounds. I’ll be looking for you.
P.P.S. I’m a worm.
The young clerk at the steamship offices appeared rejoiced to see Jimmy once more. With a sunny smile he snatched a pencil from his ear and plunged it into the vitals of the Atlantic.
“How about E. a hundred and eight?”
“Suits me.”
“You’re too late to go in the passenger-list, of course.”
Jimmy did not reply. He was gazing rigidly at a girl who had just come in, a girl with red hair and a friendly smile.
“So you’re sailing on the _Atlantic_, too!” she said, with a glance at the chart on the counter. “How odd! We have just decided to go back on her too. There’s nothing to keep us here and we’re all homesick. Well, you see I wasn’t run over after I left you.”
A delicious understanding relieved Jimmy’s swimming brain, as thunder relieves the tense and straining air. The feeling that he was going mad left him, as the simple solution of his mystery came to him. This girl must have heard of him in New York–perhaps she knew people whom he knew and it was on hearsay, not on personal acquaintance, that she based that dislike of him which she had expressed with such freedom and conviction so short a while before at the Regent Grill. She did not know who he was!
Into this soothing stream of thought cut the voice of the clerk.
“What name, please?”
Jimmy’s mind rocked again. Why were these things happening to him to-day of all days, when he needed the tenderest treatment, when he had a headache already?
The clerk was eyeing him expectantly. He had laid down his pencil and was holding aloft a pen. Jimmy gulped. Every name in the English language had passed from his mind. And then from out of the dark came inspiration.
“Bayliss,” he croaked.
The girl held out her hand.
“Then we can introduce ourselves at last. My name is Ann Chester. How do you do, Mr. Bayliss?”
“How do you do, Miss Chester?”
The clerk had finished writing the ticket, and was pressing labels and a pink paper on him. The paper, he gathered dully, was a form and had to be filled up. He examined it, and found it to be a searching document. Some of its questions could be answered off-hand, others required thought.
“Height?” Simple. Five foot eleven.
“Hair?” Simple. Brown.
“Eyes?” Simple again. Blue.
Next, queries of a more offensive kind.
“Are you a polygamist?”
He could answer that. Decidedly no. One wife would be ample–provided she had red-gold hair, brown-gold eyes, the right kind of mouth, and a dimple. Whatever doubts there might be in his mind on other points, on that one he had none whatever.
“Have you ever been in prison?”
Not yet.
And then a very difficult one. “Are you a lunatic?”
Jimmy hesitated. The ink dried on his pen. He was wondering.
* * *
In the dim cavern of Paddington Station the boat-train snorted impatiently, varying the process with an occasional sharp shriek. The hands of the station clock pointed to ten minutes to six. The platform was a confused mass of travellers, porters, baggage, trucks, boys with buns and fruits, boys with magazines, friends, relatives, and Bayliss the butler, standing like a faithful watchdog beside a large suitcase. To the human surf that broke and swirled about him he paid no attention. He was looking for the young master.
Jimmy clove the crowd like a one-man flying-wedge. Two fruit and bun boys who impeded his passage drifted away like leaves on an Autumn gale.
“Good man!” He possessed himself of the suitcase. “I was afraid you might not be able to get here.”
“The mistress is dining out, Mr. James. I was able to leave the house.”
“Have you packed everything I shall want?”
“Within the scope of a suitcase, yes, sir.”
“Splendid! Oh, by the way, give this letter to my father, will you?”
“Very good, sir.”
“I’m glad you were able to manage. I thought your voice sounded doubtful over the phone.”
“I was a good deal taken aback, Mr. James. Your decision to leave was so extremely sudden.”
“So was Columbus’. You know about him? He saw an egg standing on its head and whizzed off like a jack-rabbit.”
“If you will pardon the liberty, Mr. James, is it not a little rash–?”
“Don’t take the joy out of life, Bayliss. I may be a chump, but try to forget it. Use your willpower.”
“Good evening, Mr. Bayliss,” said a voice behind them. They both turned. The butler was gazing rather coyly at a vision in a grey tailor-made suit.
“Good evening, miss,” he said doubtfully.
Ann looked at him in astonishment, then broke into a smile.
“How stupid of me! I meant this Mr. Bayliss. Your son! We met at the steamship offices. And before that he saved my life. So we are old friends.”
Bayliss, gaping perplexedly and feeling unequal to the intellectual pressure of the conversation, was surprised further to perceive a warning scowl on the face of his Mr. James. Jimmy had not foreseen this thing, but he had a quick mind and was equal to it.
“How are you, Miss Chester? My father has come down to see me off. This is Miss Chester, dad.”
A British butler is not easily robbed of his poise, but Bayliss was frankly unequal to the sudden demand on his presence of mind. He lowered his jaw an inch or two, but spoke no word.
“Dad’s a little upset at my going,” whispered Jimmy confidentially. “He’s not quite himself.”
Ann was a girl possessed not only of ready tact but of a kind heart. She had summed up Mr. Bayliss at a glance. Every line of him proclaimed him a respectable upper servant. No girl on earth could have been freer than she of snobbish prejudice, but she could not check a slight thrill of surprise and disappointment at the discovery of Jimmy’s humble origin. She understood everything, and there were tears in her eyes as she turned away to avoid intruding on the last moments of the parting of father and son.
“I’ll see you on the boat, Mr. Bayliss,” she said.
“Eh?” said Bayliss.
“Yes, yes,” said Jimmy. “Good-bye till then.”
Ann walked on to her compartment. She felt as if she had just read a whole long novel, one of those chunky younger-English-novelist things. She knew the whole story as well as if it had been told to her in detail. She could see the father, the honest steady butler, living his life with but one aim, to make a gentleman of his beloved only son. Year by year he had saved. Probably he had sent the son to college. And now, with a father’s blessing and the remains of a father’s savings, the boy was setting out for the New World, where dollar-bills grew on trees and no one asked or cared who any one else’s father might be.
There was a lump in her throat. Bayliss would have been amazed if he could have known what a figure of pathetic fineness he seemed to her. And then her thoughts turned to Jimmy, and she was aware of a glow of kindliness towards him. His father had succeeded in his life’s ambition. He had produced a gentleman! How easily and simply, without a trace of snobbish shame, the young man had introduced his father. There was the right stuff in him. He was not ashamed of the humble man who had given him his chance in life. She found herself liking Jimmy amazingly . . .
The hands of the clock pointed to three minutes to the hour. Porters skimmed to and fro like water-beetles.
“I can’t explain,” said Jimmy. “It wasn’t temporary insanity; it was necessity.”
“Very good, Mr. James. I think you had better be taking your seat now.”
“Quite right, I had. It would spoil the whole thing if they left me behind. Bayliss, did you ever see such eyes? Such hair! Look after my father while I am away. Don’t let the dukes worry him. Oh, and, Bayliss”–Jimmy drew his hand from his pocket–“as one pal to another–“
Bayliss looked at the crackling piece of paper.
“I couldn’t, Mr. James, I really couldn’t! A five-pound note! I couldn’t!”
“Nonsense! Be a sport!”
“Begging your pardon, Mr. James, I really couldn’t. You cannot afford to throw away your money like this. You cannot have a great deal of it, if you will excuse me for saying so.”
“I won’t do anything of the sort. Grab it! Oh, Lord, the train’s starting! Good-bye, Bayliss!”
The engine gave a final shriek of farewell. The train began to slide along the platform, pursued to the last by optimistic boys offering buns for sale. It gathered speed. Jimmy, leaning out the window, was amazed at a spectacle so unusual as practically to amount to a modern miracle–the spectacled Bayliss running. The butler was not in the pink of condition, but he was striding out gallantly. He reached the door of Jimmy’s compartment, and raised his hand.
“Begging your pardon, Mr. James,” he panted, “for taking the liberty, but I really couldn’t!”
He reached up and thrust something into Jimmy’s hand, something crisp and crackling. Then, his mission performed, fell back and stood waving a snowy handkerchief. The train plunged into the tunnel.
Jimmy stared at the five-pound note. He was aware, like Ann farther along the train, of a lump in his throat. He put the note slowly into his pocket.
The train moved on.
CHAPTER VII
ON THE BOAT-DECK
Rising waters and a fine flying scud that whipped stingingly over the side had driven most of the passengers on the _Atlantic_ to the shelter of their staterooms or to the warm stuffiness of the library. It was the fifth evening of the voyage. For five days and four nights the ship had been racing through a placid ocean on her way to Sandy Hook: but in the early hours of this afternoon the wind had shifted to the north, bringing heavy seas. Darkness had begun to fall now. The sky was a sullen black. The white crests of the rollers gleamed faintly in the dusk, and the wind sang in the ropes.
Jimmy and Ann had had the boat-deck to themselves for half an hour. Jimmy was a good sailor: it exhilarated him to fight the wind and to walk a deck that heaved and dipped and shuddered beneath his feet; but he had not expected to have Ann’s company on such an evening. But she had come out of the saloon entrance, her small face framed in a hood and her slim body shapeless beneath a great cloak, and joined him in his walk.
Jimmy was in a mood of exaltation. He had passed the last few days in a condition of intermittent melancholy, consequent on the discovery that he was not the only man on board the _Atlantic_ who desired the society of Ann as an alleviation of the tedium of an ocean voyage. The world, when he embarked on this venture, had consisted so exclusively of Ann and himself that, until the ship was well on its way to Queenstown, he had not conceived the possibility of intrusive males forcing their unwelcome attentions on her. And it had added bitterness to the bitter awakening that their attentions did not appear to be at all unwelcome. Almost immediately after breakfast on the very first day, a creature with a small black moustache and shining teeth had descended upon Ann and, vocal with surprise and pleasure at meeting her again–he claimed, damn him!, to have met her before at Palm Beach, Bar Harbor, and a dozen other places–had carried her off to play an idiotic game known as shuffle-board. Nor was this an isolated case. It began to be borne in upon Jimmy that Ann, whom he had looked upon purely in the light of an Eve playing opposite his Adam in an exclusive Garden of Eden, was an extremely well-known and popular character. The clerk at the shipping-office had lied absurdly when he had said that very few people were crossing on the _Atlantic_ this voyage. The vessel was crammed till its sides bulged, it was loaded down in utter defiance of the Plimsoll law, with Rollos and Clarences and Dwights and Twombleys who had known and golfed and ridden and driven and motored and swum and danced with Ann for years. A ghastly being entitled Edgar Something or Teddy Something had beaten Jimmy by a short head in the race for the deck-steward, the prize of which was the placing of his deck-chair next to Ann’s. Jimmy had been driven from the promenade deck by the spectacle of this beastly creature lying swathed in rugs reading best-sellers to her.
He had scarcely seen her to speak to since the beginning of the voyage. When she was not walking with Rolly or playing shuffle-board with Twombley, she was down below ministering to the comfort of a chronically sea-sick aunt, referred to in conversation as “poor aunt Nesta”. Sometimes Jimmy saw the little man–presumably her uncle–in the smoking-room, and once he came upon the stout boy recovering from the effects of a cigar in a quiet corner of the boat-deck: but apart from these meetings the family was as distant from him as if he had never seen Ann at all–let alone saved her life.
And now she had dropped down on him from heaven. They were alone together with the good clean wind and the bracing scud. Rollo, Clarence, Dwight, and Twombley, not to mention Edgar or possibly Teddy, were down below–he hoped, dying. They had the world to themselves.
“I love rough weather,” said Ann, lifting her face to the wind. Her eyes were very bright. She was beyond any doubt or question the only girl on earth. “Poor aunt Nesta doesn’t. She was bad enough when it was quite calm, but this storm has finished her. I’ve just been down below, trying to cheer her up.”
Jimmy thrilled at the picture. Always fascinating, Ann seemed to him at her best in the role of ministering angel. He longed to tell her so, but found no words. They reached the end of the deck, and turned. Ann looked up at him.
“I’ve hardly seen anything of you since we sailed,” she said. She spoke almost reproachfully. “Tell me all about yourself, Mr. Bayliss. Why are you going to America?”
Jimmy had had an impassioned indictment of the Rollos on his tongue, but she had closed the opening for it as quickly as she had made it. In face of her direct demand for information he could not hark back to it now. After all, what did the Rollos matter? They had no part in this little wind-swept world: they were where they belonged, in some nether hell on the C. or D. deck, moaning for death.
“To make a fortune, I hope,” he said.
Ann was pleased at this confirmation of her diagnosis. She had deduced this from the evidence at Paddington Station.
“How pleased your father will be if you do!”
The slight complexity of Jimmy’s affairs caused him to pause for a moment to sort out his fathers, but an instant’s reflection told him that she must be referring to Bayliss the butler.
“Yes.”
“He’s a dear old man,” said Ann. “I suppose he’s very proud of you?”
“I hope so.”
“You must do tremendously well in America, so as not to disappoint him. What are you thinking of doing?”
Jimmy considered for a moment.
“Newspaper work, I think.”
“Oh? Why, have you had any experience?”
“A little.”
Ann seemed to grow a little aloof, as if her enthusiasm had been damped.
“Oh, well, I suppose it’s a good enough profession. I’m not very fond of it myself. I’ve only met one newspaper man in my life, and I dislike him very much, so I suppose that has prejudiced me.”
“Who was that?”
“You wouldn’t have met him. He was on an American paper. A man named Crocker.”
A sudden gust of wind drove them back a step, rendering talk impossible. It covered a gap when Jimmy could not have spoken. The shock of the information that Ann had met him before made him dumb. This thing was beyond him. It baffled him.
Her next words supplied a solution. They were under shelter of one of the boats now and she could make herself heard.
“It was five years ago, and I only met him for a very short while, but the prejudice has lasted.”
Jimmy began to understand. Five years ago! It was not so strange, then, that they should not recognise each other now. He stirred up his memory. Nothing came to the surface. Not a gleam of recollection of that early meeting rewarded him. And yet something of importance must have happened then, for her to remember it. Surely his mere personality could not have been so unpleasant as to have made such a lasting impression on her!
“I wish you could do something better than newspaper work,” said Ann. “I always think the splendid part about America is that it is such a land of adventure. There are such millions of chances. It’s a place where anything may happen. Haven’t you an adventurous soul, Mr. Bayliss?”
No man lightly submits to a charge, even a hinted charge, of being deficient in the capacity for adventure.
“Of course I have,” said Jimmy indignantly. “I’m game to tackle anything that comes along.”
“I’m glad of that.”
Her feeling of comradeship towards this young man deepened. She loved adventure and based her estimate of any member of the opposite sex largely on his capacity for it. She moved in a set, when at home, which was more polite than adventurous, and had frequently found the atmosphere enervating.
“Adventure,” said Jimmy, “is everything.”
He paused. “Or a good deal,” he concluded weakly.
“Why qualify it like that? It sounds so tame. Adventure is the biggest thing in life.”
It seemed to Jimmy that he had received an excuse for a remark of a kind that had been waiting for utterance ever since he had met her. Often and often in the watches of the night, smoking endless pipes and thinking of her, he had conjured up just such a vision as this–they two walking the deserted deck alone, and she innocently giving him an opening for some low-voiced, tender speech, at which she would start, look at him quickly, and then ask him haltingly if the words had any particular application. And after that–oh, well, all sorts of things might happen. And now the moment had come. It was true that he had always pictured the scene as taking place by moonlight and at present there was a half-gale blowing, out of an inky sky; also on the present occasion anything in the nature of a low-voiced speech was absolutely out of the question owing to the uproar of the elements. Still, taking these drawbacks into consideration, the chance was far too good to miss. Such an opening might never happen again. He waited till the ship had steadied herself after an apparently suicidal dive into an enormous roller, then, staggering back to her side, spoke.
“Love is the biggest thing in life!” he roared.
“What is?” shrieked Ann.
“Love!” bellowed Jimmy.
He wished a moment later that he had postponed this statement of faith, for their next steps took them into a haven of comparative calm, where some dimly seen portion of the vessel’s anatomy jutted out and formed a kind of nook where it was possible to hear the ordinary tones of the human voice. He halted here, and Ann did the same, though unwillingly. She was conscious of a feeling of disappointment and of a modification of her mood of comradeship towards her companion. She held strong views, which she believed to be unalterable, on the subject under discussion.
“Love!” she said. It was too dark to see her face, but her voice sounded unpleasantly scornful. “I shouldn’t have thought that you would have been so conventional as that. You seemed different.”
“Eh?” said Jimmy blankly.
“I hate all this talk about Love, as if it were something wonderful that was worth everything else in life put together. Every book you read and every song that you see in the shop-windows is all about Love. It’s as if the whole world were in a conspiracy to persuade themselves that there’s a wonderful something just round the corner which they can get if they try hard enough. And they hypnotise themselves into thinking of nothing else and miss all the splendid things of life.”
“That’s Shaw, isn’t it?” said Jimmy.
“What is Shaw?”
“What you were saying. It’s out of one of Bernard Shaw’s things, isn’t it?”
“It is not.” A note of acidity had crept into Ann’s voice. “It is perfectly original.”
“I’m certain I’ve heard it before somewhere.”
“If you have, that simply means that you must have associated with some sensible person.”
Jimmy was puzzled.
“But why the grouch?” he asked.
“I don’t understand you.”
“I mean, why do you feel that way about it?”
Ann was quite certain now that she did not like this young man nearly as well as she had supposed. It is trying for a strong-minded, clear-thinking girl to have her philosophy described as a grouch.
“Because I’ve had the courage to think about it for myself, and not let myself be blinded by popular superstition. The whole world has united in making itself imagine that there is something called love which is the most wonderful happening in life. The poets and novelists have simply hounded them on to believe it. It’s a gigantic swindle.”
A wave of tender compassion swept over Jimmy. He understood it all now. Naturally a girl who had associated all her life with the Rollos, Clarences, Dwights, and Twombleys would come to despair of the possibility of falling in love with any one.
“You haven’t met the right man,” he said. She had, of course, but only recently: and, anyway, he could point that out later.
“There is no such thing as the right man,” said Ann resolutely, “if you are suggesting that there is a type of man in existence who is capable of inspiring what is called romantic love. I believe in marriage. . . .”
“Good work!” said Jimmy, well satisfied.
” . . . But not as the result of a sort of delirium. I believe in it as a sensible partnership between two friends who know each other well and trust each other. The right way of looking at marriage is to realise, first of all, that there are no thrills, no romances, and then to pick out some one who is nice and kind and amusing and full of life and willing to do things to make you happy.”
“Ah!” said Jimmy, straightening his tie, “Well, that’s something.”
“How do you mean–that’s something? Are you shocked at my views?”
“I don’t believe they are your views. You’ve been reading one of these stern, soured fellows who analyse things.”
Ann stamped. The sound was inaudible, but Jimmy noticed the movement.
“Cold?” he said. “Let’s walk on.”
Ann’s sense of humour reasserted itself. It was not often that it remained dormant for so long. She laughed.
“I know exactly what you are thinking,” she said. “You believe that I am posing, that those aren’t my real opinions.”
“They can’t be. But I don’t think you are posing. It’s getting on for dinner-time, and you’ve got that wan, sinking feeling that makes you look upon the world and find it a hollow fraud. The bugle will be blowing in a few minutes, and half an hour after that you will be yourself again.”