The Dark Flower by John Galsworthy

but darkness wild with dew and starlight. He reached up and lifted her down into the boat, and the scent of some flower pressed against his face seemed to pierce into him and reach his very heart, awakening the memory of something past, forgotten. Then, seizing the branches, snapping them in his haste, he dragged the skiff along through the sluggish water, the gnats dancing in his face. She seemed to know where he was taking her, and neither of them spoke a single word, while he pulled out into the open, and over to the far bank.

There was but one field between them and the wood–a field of young wheat, with a hedge of thorn and alder. And close to that hedge they set out, their hands clasped. They had nothing to say yet– like children saving up. She had put on her cloak to hide her dress, and its silk swished against the silvery blades of the wheat. What had moved her to put on this blue cloak? Blue of the sky, and flowers, of birds’ wings, and the black-burning blue of the night! The hue of all holy things! And how still it was in the late gleam of the sun! Not one little sound of beast or bird or tree; not one bee humming! And not much colour–only the starry white hemlocks and globe-campion flowers, and the low-flying glamour of the last warm light on the wheat.

. . . Now over wood and river the evening drew in fast. And first the swallows, that had looked as if they would never stay their hunting, ceased; and the light, that had seemed fastened above the world, for all its last brightenings, slowly fell wingless and dusky.

The moon would not rise till ten! And all things waited. The creatures of night were slow to come forth after that long bright summer’s day, watching for the shades of the trees to sink deeper and deeper into the now chalk-white water; watching for the chalk- white face of the sky to be masked with velvet. The very black- plumed trees themselves seemed to wait in suspense for the grape- bloom of night. All things stared, wan in that hour of passing day–all things had eyes wistful and unblessed. In those moments glamour was so dead that it was as if meaning had abandoned the earth. But not for long. Winged with darkness, it stole back; not the soul of meaning that had gone, but a witch-like and brooding spirit harbouring in the black trees, in the high dark spears of the rushes, and on the grim-snouted snags that lurked along the river bank. Then the owls came out, and night-flying things. And in the wood there began a cruel bird-tragedy–some dark pursuit in the twilight above the bracken; the piercing shrieks of a creature into whom talons have again and again gone home; and mingled with them, hoarse raging cries of triumph. Many minutes they lasted, those noises of the night, sound-emblems of all the cruelty in the heart of Nature; till at last death appeased that savagery. And any soul abroad, that pitied fugitives, might once more listen, and not weep. . . .

Then a nightingale began to give forth its long liquid gurgling; and a corn-crake churred in the young wheat. Again the night brooded, in the silent tops of the trees, in the more silent depths of the water. It sent out at long intervals a sigh or murmur, a tiny scuttling splash, an owl’s hunting cry. And its breath was still hot and charged with heavy odour, for no dew was falling. . . .

XXI

It was past ten when they came out from the wood. She had wanted to wait for the moon to rise; not a gold coin of a moon as last night, but ivory pale, and with a gleaming radiance level over the fern, and covering the lower boughs, as it were, with a drift of white blossom.

Through the wicket gate they passed once more beside the moon- coloured wheat, which seemed of a different world from that world in which they had walked but an hour and a half ago.

And in Lennan’s heart was a feeling such as a man’s heart can only know once in all his life–such humble gratitude, and praise, and adoration of her who had given him her all. There should be nothing for her now but joy–like the joy of this last hour. She should never know less happiness! And kneeling down before her at the water’s edge he kissed her dress, and hands, and feet, which to-morrow would be his forever.

Then they got into the boat.

The smile of the moonlight glided over each ripple, and reed, and closing water-lily; over her face, where the hood had fallen back from her loosened hair; over one hand trailing the water, and the other touching the flower at her breast; and, just above her breath, she said:

“Row, my dear love; it’s late!”

Dipping his sculls, he shot the skiff into the darkness of the backwater. . . .

What happened then he never knew, never clearly–in all those after years. A vision of her white form risen to its feet, bending forward like a creature caught, that cannot tell which way to spring; a crashing shock, his head striking something hard! Nothingness! And then–an awful, awful struggle with roots and weeds and slime, a desperate agony of groping in that pitchy blackness, among tree-stumps, in dead water that seemed to have no bottom–he and that other, who had leaped at them in the dark with his boat, like a murdering beast; a nightmare search more horrible than words could tell, till in a patch of moonlight on the bank they laid her, who for all their efforts never stirred. . . . There she lay all white, and they two crouched at her head and feet–like dark creatures of the woods and waters over that which with their hunting they had slain.

How long they stayed there, not once looking at each other, not once speaking, not once ceasing to touch with their hands that dead thing–he never knew. How long in the summer night, with its moonlight and its shadows quivering round them, and the night wind talking in the reeds!

And then the most enduring of all sentient things had moved in him again; so that he once more felt. . . . Never again to see those eyes that had loved him with their light! Never again to kiss her lips! Frozen–like moonlight to the earth, with the flower still clinging at her breast. Thrown out on the bank like a plucked water-lily! Dead? No, no! Not dead! Alive in the night–alive to him–somewhere! Not on this dim bank, in this hideous backwater, with that dark dumb creature who had destroyed her! Out there on the river–in the wood of their happiness–somewhere alive! . . . And, staggering up past Cramier, who never moved, he got into his boat, and like one demented pulled out into the stream.

But once there in the tide, he fell huddled forward, motionless above his oars. . . .

And the moonlight flooded his dark skiff drifting down. And the moonlight effaced the ripples on the water that had stolen away her spirit. Her spirit mingled now with the white beauty and the shadows, for ever part of the stillness and the passion of a summer night; hovering, floating, listening to the rustle of the reeds, and the whispering of the woods; one with the endless dream–that spirit passing out, as all might wish to pass, in the hour of happiness.

PART III

AUTUMN

When on that November night Lennan stole to the open door of his dressing-room, and stood watching his wife asleep, Fate still waited for an answer.

A low fire was burning–one of those fires that throw faint shadows everywhere, and once and again glow so that some object shines for a moment, some shape is clearly seen. The curtains were not quite drawn, and a plane-tree branch with leaves still hanging, which had kept them company all the fifteen years they had lived there, was moving darkly in the wind, now touching the glass with a frail tap, as though asking of him, who had been roaming in that wind so many hours, to let it in. Unfailing comrades–London plane-trees!

He had not dared hope that Sylvia would be asleep. It was merciful that she was, whichever way the issue went–that issue so cruel. Her face was turned towards the fire, and one hand rested beneath her cheek. So she often slept. Even when life seemed all at sea, its landmarks lost, one still did what was customary. Poor tender- hearted thing–she had not slept since he told her, forty-eight hours, that seemed such years, ago! With her flaxen hair, and her touching candour, even in sleep, she looked like a girl lying there, not so greatly changed from what she had been that summer of Cicely’s marriage down at Hayle. Her face had not grown old in all those twenty-eight years. There had been till now no special reason why it should. Thought, strong feeling, suffering, those were what changed faces; Sylvia had never thought very deeply, never suffered much, till now. And was it for him, who had been careful of her–very careful on the whole, despite man’s selfishness, despite her never having understood the depths of him– was it for him of all people to hurt her so, to stamp her face with sorrow, perhaps destroy her utterly?

He crept a little farther in and sat down in the arm-chair beyond the fire. What memories a fire gathered into it, with its flaky ashes, its little leaf-like flames, and that quiet glow and flicker! What tale of passions! How like to a fire was a man’s heart! The first young fitful leapings, the sudden, fierce, mastering heat, the long, steady sober burning, and then–that last flaming-up, that clutch back at its own vanished youth, the final eager flight of flame, before the ashes wintered it to nothing! Visions and memories he saw down in the fire, as only can be seen when a man’s heart, by the agony of long struggle, has been stripped of skin, and quivers at every touch. Love! A strange haphazard thing was love–so spun between ecstacy and torture! A thing insidious, irresponsible, desperate. A flying sweetness, more poignant than anything on earth, more dark in origin and destiny. A thing without reason or coherence. A man’s love-life– what say had he in the ebb and flow of it? No more than in the flights of autumn birds, swooping down, alighting here and there, passing on. The loves one left behind–even in a life by no means vagabond in love, as men’s lives went! The love that thought the Tyrol skies would fall if he were not first with a certain lady. The love whose star had caught in the hair of Sylvia, now lying there asleep. A so-called love–that half-glamorous, yet sordid little meal of pleasure, which youth, however sensitive, must eat, it seems, some time or other with some young light of love–a glimpse of life that beforehand had seemed much and had meant little, save to leave him disillusioned with himself and sorry for his partner. And then the love that he could not, even after twenty years, bear to remember; that all-devouring summer passion, which in one night had gained all and lost all terribly, leaving on his soul a scar that could never be quite healed, leaving his spirit always a little lonely, haunted by the sense of what might have been. Of his share in that night of tragedy–that ‘terrible accident on the river’–no one had ever dreamed. And then the long despair which had seemed the last death of love had slowly passed, and yet another love had been born–or rather born again, pale, sober, but quite real; the fresh springing-up of a feeling long forgotten, of that protective devotion of his boyhood. He still remembered the expression on Sylvia’s face when he passed her by chance in Oxford Street, soon after he came back from his four years of exile in the East and Rome–that look, eager, yet reproachful, then stoically ironic, as if saying: ‘Oh, no! after forgetting me four years and more–you can’t remember me now!’ And when he spoke, the still more touching pleasure in her face. Then uncertain months, with a feeling of what the end would be; and then their marriage. Happy enough–gentle, not very vivid, nor spiritually very intimate–his work always secretly as remote from her as when she had thought to please him by putting jessamine stars on the heads of his beasts. A quiet successful union, not meaning, he had thought, so very much to him nor so very much to her–until forty-eight hours ago he told her; and she had shrunk, and wilted, and gone all to pieces. And what was it he had told her?

A long story–that!

Sitting there by the fire, with nothing yet decided, he could see it all from the start, with its devilish, delicate intricacy, its subtle slow enchantment spinning itself out of him, out of his own state of mind and body, rather than out of the spell cast over him, as though a sort of fatal force, long dormant, were working up again to burst into dark flower. . . .

Yes, it had begun within him over a year ago, with a queer unhappy restlessness, a feeling that life was slipping, ebbing away within reach of him, and his arms never stretched out to arrest it. It had begun with a sort of long craving, stilled only when he was working hard–a craving for he knew not what, an ache which was worst whenever the wind was soft.

They said that about forty-five was a perilous age for a man– especially for an artist. All the autumn of last year he had felt this vague misery rather badly. It had left him alone most of December and January, while he was working so hard at his group of lions; but the moment that was finished it had gripped him hard again. In those last days of January he well remembered wandering about in the parks day after day, trying to get away from it. Mild weather, with a scent in the wind! With what avidity he had watched children playing, the premature buds on the bushes, anything, everything young–with what an ache, too, he had been conscious of innumerable lives being lived round him, and loves loved, and he outside, unable to know, to grasp, to gather them; and all the time the sands of his hourglass running out! A most absurd and unreasonable feeling for a man with everything he wanted, with work that he loved, quite enough money, and a wife so good as Sylvia–a feeling that no Englishman of forty-six, in excellent health, ought for a moment to have been troubled with. A feeling such as, indeed, no Englishman ever admitted having–so that there was not even, as yet, a Society for its suppression. For what was this disquiet feeling, but the sense that he had had his day, would never again know the stir and fearful joy of falling in love, but only just hanker after what was past and gone! Could anything be more reprehensible in a married man?

It was–yes–the last day of January, when, returning from one of those restless rambles in Hyde Park, he met Dromore. Queer to recognize a man hardly seen since school-days. Yet unmistakably, Johnny Dromore, sauntering along the rails of Piccadilly on the Green Park side, with that slightly rolling gait of his thin, horseman’s legs, his dandified hat a little to one side, those strange, chaffing, goggling eyes, that look, as if making a perpetual bet. Yes–the very same teasing, now moody, now reckless, always astute Johnny Dromore, with a good heart beneath an outside that seemed ashamed of it. Truly to have shared a room at school–to have been at College together, were links mysteriously indestructible.

“Mark Lennan! By gum! haven’t seen you for ages. Not since you turned out a full-blown–what d’you call it? Awfully glad to meet you, old chap!” Here was the past indeed, long vanished in feeling and thought and all; and Lennan’s head buzzed, trying to find some common interest with this hunting, racing man-about-town.

Johnny Dromore come to life again–he whom the Machine had stamped with astute simplicity by the time he was twenty-two, and for ever after left untouched in thought and feeling–Johnny Dromore, who would never pass beyond the philosophy that all was queer and freakish which had not to do with horses, women, wine, cigars, jokes, good-heartedness, and that perpetual bet; Johnny Dromore, who, somewhere in him, had a pocket of depth, a streak of hunger, that was not just Johnny Dromore.

How queer was the sound of that jerky talk!

“You ever see old Fookes now? Been racin’ at all? You live in Town? Remember good old Blenker?” And then silence, and then another spurt: “Ever go down to ‘Bambury’s?’ Ever go racin’? . . . Come on up to my ‘digs.’ You’ve got nothin’ to do.” No persuading Johnny Dromore that a ‘what d’you call it’ could have anything to do. “Come on, old chap. I’ve got the hump. It’s this damned east wind.”

Well he remembered it, when they shared a room at ‘Bambury’s’–that hump of Johnny Dromore’s, after some reckless spree or bout of teasing.

And down that narrow bye-street of Piccadilly he had gone, and up into those ‘digs’ on the first floor, with their little dark hall, their Van Beers’ drawing and Vanity Fair cartoons, and prints of racehorses, and of the old Nightgown Steeplechase; with the big chairs, and all the paraphernalia of Race Guides and race-glasses, fox-masks and stags’-horns, and hunting-whips. And yet, something that from the first moment struck him as not quite in keeping, foreign to the picture–a little jumble of books, a vase of flowers, a grey kitten.

“Sit down, old chap. What’ll you drink?”

Sunk into the recesses of a marvellous chair, with huge arms of tawny leather, he listened and spoke drowsily. ‘Bambury’s,’ Oxford, Gordy’s clubs–dear old Gordy, gone now!–things long passed by; they seemed all round him once again. And yet, always that vague sense, threading this resurrection, threading the smoke of their cigars, and Johnny Dromore’s clipped talk–of something that did not quite belong. Might it be, perhaps, that sepia drawing–above the ‘Tantalus’ on the oak sideboard at the far end– of a woman’s face gazing out into the room? Mysteriously unlike everything else, except the flowers, and this kitten that was pushing its furry little head against his hand. Odd how a single thing sometimes took possession of a room, however remote in spirit! It seemed to reach like a shadow over Dromore’s outstretched limbs, and weathered, long-nosed face, behind his huge cigar; over the queer, solemn, chaffing eyes, with something brooding in the depths of them.

“Ever get the hump? Bally awful, isn’t it? It’s getting old. We’re bally old, you know, Lenny!” Ah! No one had called him ‘Lenny’ for twenty years. And it was true; they were unmentionably old.

“When a fellow begins to feel old, you know, it’s time he went broke–or something; doesn’t bear sittin’ down and lookin’ at. Come out to ‘Monte’ with me!”

‘Monte!’ That old wound, never quite healed, started throbbing at the word, so that he could hardly speak his: “No, I don’t care for ‘Monte.'”

And, at once, he saw Dromore’s eyes probing, questioning:

“You married?”

“Yes.”

“Never thought of you as married!”

So Dromore did think of him. Queer! He never thought of Johnny Dromore.

“Winter’s bally awful, when you’re not huntin’. You’ve changed a lot; should hardly have known you. Last time I saw you, you’d just come back from Rome or somewhere. What’s it like bein’ a–a sculptor? Saw something of yours once. Ever do things of horses?”

Yes; he had done a ‘relief’ of ponies only last year.

“You do women, too, I s’pose?”

“Not often.”

The eyes goggled slightly. Quaint, that unholy interest! Just like boys, the Johnny Dromores–would never grow up, no matter how life treated them. If Dromore spoke out his soul, as he used to speak it out at ‘Bambury’s,’ he would say: ‘You get a pull there; you have a bally good time, I expect.’ That was the way it took them; just a converse manifestation of the very same feeling towards Art that the pious Philistines had, with their deploring eyebrows and their ‘peril to the soul.’ Babes all! Not a glimmering of what Art meant–of its effort, and its yearnings!

“You make money at it?”

“Oh, yes.”

Again that appreciative goggle, as who should say: ‘Ho! there’s more in this than I thought!’

A long silence, then, in the dusk with the violet glimmer from outside the windows, the fire flickering in front of them, the grey kitten purring against his neck, the smoke of their cigars going up, and such a strange, dozing sense of rest, as he had not known for many days. And then–something, someone at the door, over by the sideboard! And Dromore speaking in a queer voice:

“Come in, Nell! D’you know my daughter?”

A hand took Lennan’s, a hand that seemed to waver between the aplomb of a woman of the world, and a child’s impulsive warmth. And a voice, young, clipped, clear, said:

“How d’you do? She’s rather sweet, isn’t she–my kitten?”

Then Dromore turned the light up. A figure fairly tall, in a grey riding-habit, stupendously well cut; a face not quite so round as a child’s nor so shaped as a woman’s, blushing slightly, very calm; crinkly light-brown hair tied back with a black ribbon under a neat hat; and eyes like those eyes of Gainsborough’s ‘Perdita’–slow, grey, mesmeric, with long lashes curling up, eyes that draw things to them, still innocent.

And just on the point of saying: “I thought you’d stepped out of that picture”–he saw Dromore’s face, and mumbled instead:

“So it’s YOUR kitten?”

“Yes; she goes to everybody. Do you like Persians? She’s all fur really. Feel!”

Entering with his fingers the recesses of the kitten, he said:

“Cats without fur are queer.”

“Have you seen one without fur?”

“Oh, yes! In my profession we have to go below fur–I’m a sculptor.”

“That must be awfully interesting.”

What a woman of the world! But what a child, too! And now he could see that the face in the sepia drawing was older altogether– lips not so full, look not so innocent, cheeks not so round, and something sad and desperate about it–a face that life had rudely touched. But the same eyes it had–and what charm, for all its disillusionment, its air of a history! Then he noticed, fastened to the frame, on a thin rod, a dust-coloured curtain, drawn to one side. The self-possessed young voice was saying:

“Would you mind if I showed you my drawings? It would be awfully good of you. You could tell me about them.” And with dismay he saw her open a portfolio. While he scrutinized those schoolgirl drawings, he could feel her looking at him, as animals do when they are making up their minds whether or no to like you; then she came and stood so close that her arm pressed his. He redoubled his efforts to find something good about the drawings. But in truth there was nothing good. And if, in other matters, he could lie well enough to save people’s feelings, where Art was concerned he never could; so he merely said:

“You haven’t been taught, you see.”

“Will you teach me?”

But before he could answer, she was already effacing that naive question in her most grown-up manner.

“Of course I oughtn’t to ask. It would bore you awfully.”

After that he vaguely remembered Dromore’s asking if he ever rode in the Row; and those eyes of hers following him about; and her hand giving his another childish squeeze. Then he was on his way again down the dimly-lighted stairs, past an interminable array of Vanity Fair cartoons, out into the east wind.

III

Crossing the Green Park on his way home, was he more, or less, restless? Difficult to say. A little flattered, certainly, a little warmed; yet irritated, as always when he came into contact with people to whom the world of Art was such an amusing unreality. The notion of trying to show that child how to draw–that feather- pate, with her riding and her kitten; and her ‘Perdita’ eyes! Quaint, how she had at once made friends with him! He was a little different, perhaps, from what she was accustomed to. And how daintily she spoke! A strange, attractive, almost lovely child! Certainly not more than seventeen–and–Johnny Dromore’s daughter!

The wind was bitter, the lamps bright among the naked trees. Beautiful always–London at night, even in January, even in an east wind, with a beauty he never tired of. Its great, dark, chiselled shapes, its gleaming lights, like droves of flying stars come to earth; and all warmed by the beat and stir of innumerable lives– those lives that he ached so to know and to be part of.

He told Sylvia of his encounter. Dromore! The name struck her. She had an old Irish song, ‘The Castle of Dromore,’ with a queer, haunting refrain.

It froze hard all the week, and he began a life-size group of their two sheep-dogs. Then a thaw set in with that first south-west wind, which brings each February a feeling of Spring such as is never again recaptured, and men’s senses, like sleepy bees in the sun, go roving. It awakened in him more violently than ever the thirst to be living, knowing, loving–the craving for something new. Not this, of course, took him back to Dromore’s rooms; oh, no! just friendliness, since he had not even told his old room-mate where he lived, or said that his wife would be glad to make his acquaintance, if he cared to come round. For Johnny Dromore had assuredly not seemed too happy, under all his hard-bitten air. Yes! it was but friendly to go again.

Dromore was seated in his long arm-chair, a cigar between his lips, a pencil in his hand, a Ruff’s Guide on his knee; beside him was a large green book. There was a festive air about him, very different from his spasmodic gloom of the other day; and he murmured without rising:

“Halo, old man!–glad to see you. Take a pew. Look here! Agapemone–which d’you think I ought to put her to–San Diavolo or Ponte Canet?–not more than four crosses of St. Paul. Goin’ to get a real good one from her this time!”

He, who had never heard these sainted names, answered:

“Oh! Ponte Canet, without doubt. But if you’re working I’ll come in another time.”

“Lord! no! Have a smoke. I’ll just finish lookin’ out their blood–and take a pull.”

And so Lennan sat down to watch those researches, wreathed in cigar smoke and punctuated by muttered expletives. They were as sacred and absorbing, no doubt, as his own efforts to create in clay; for before Dromore’s inner vision was the perfect racehorse–he, too, was creating. Here was no mere dodge for making money, but a process hallowed by the peculiar sensation felt when one rubbed the palms of the hands together, the sensation that accompanied all creative achievement. Once only Dromore paused to turn his head and say:

“Bally hard, gettin’ a taproot right!”

Real Art! How well an artist knew that desperate search after the point of balance, the central rivet that must be found before a form would come to life. . . . And he noted that to-day there was no kitten, no flowers, no sense at all of an extraneous presence– even the picture was curtained. Had the girl been just a dream–a fancy conjured up by his craving after youth?

Then he saw that Dromore had dropped the large green book, and was standing before the fire.

“Nell took to you the other day. But you always were a lady’s man. Remember the girl at Coaster’s?”

Coaster’s tea-shop, where he would go every afternoon that he had money, just for the pleasure of looking shyly at a face. Something beautiful to look at–nothing more! Johnny Dromore would no better understand that now than when they were at ‘Bambury’s.’ Not the smallest good even trying to explain! He looked up at the goggling eyes; he heard the bantering voice:

“I say–you ARE goin’ grey. We’re bally old, Lenny! A fellow gets old when he marries.”

And he answered:

“By the way, I never knew that YOU had been.”

From Dromore’s face the chaffing look went, like a candle-flame blown out; and a coppery flush spread over it. For some seconds he did not speak, then, jerking his head towards the picture, he muttered gruffly:

“Never had the chance of marrying, there; Nell’s ‘outside.'”

A sort of anger leaped in Lennan; why should Dromore speak that word as if he were ashamed of his own daughter? Just like his sort–none so hidebound as men-about-town! Flotsam on the tide of other men’s opinions; poor devils adrift, without the one true anchorage of their own real feelings! And doubtful whether Dromore would be pleased, or think him gushing, or even distrustful of his morality, he said:

“As for that, it would only make any decent man or woman nicer to her. When is she going to let me teach her drawing?”

Dromore crossed the room, drew back the curtain of the picture, and in a muffled voice, said:

“My God, Lenny! Life’s unfair. Nell’s coming killed her mother. I’d rather it had been me–bar chaff! Women have no luck.”

Lennan got up from his comfortable chair. For, startled out of the past, the memory of that summer night, when yet another woman had no luck, was flooding his heart with its black, inextinguishable grief. He said quietly:

“The past IS past, old man.”

Dromore drew the curtain again across the picture, and came back to the fire. And for a full minute he stared into it.

“What am I to do with Nell? She’s growing up.”

“What have you done with her so far?”

“She’s been at school. In the summer she goes to Ireland–I’ve got a bit of an old place there. She’ll be eighteen in July. I shall have to introduce her to women, and all that. It’s the devil! How? Who?”

Lennan could only murmur: “My wife, for one.”

He took his leave soon after. Johnny Dromore! Bizarre guardian for that child! Queer life she must have of it, in that bachelor’s den, surrounded by Ruff’s Guides! What would become of her? Caught up by some young spark about town; married to him, no doubt– her father would see to the thoroughness of that, his standard of respectability was evidently high! And after–go the way, maybe, of her mother–that poor thing in the picture with the alluring, desperate face. Well! It was no business of his!

No business of his! The merest sense of comradeship, then, took him once more to Dromore’s after that disclosure, to prove that the word ‘outside’ had no significance save in his friend’s own fancy; to assure him again that Sylvia would be very glad to welcome the child at any time she liked to come.

When he had told her of that little matter of Nell’s birth, she had been silent a long minute, looking in his face, and then had said: “Poor child! I wonder if SHE knows! People are so unkind, even nowadays!” He could not himself think of anyone who would pay attention to such a thing, except to be kinder to the girl; but in such matters Sylvia was the better judge, in closer touch with general thought. She met people that he did not–and of a more normal species.

It was rather late when he got to Dromore’s diggings on that third visit.

“Mr. Dromore, sir,” the man said–he had one of those strictly confidential faces bestowed by an all-wise Providence on servants in the neighbourhood of Piccadilly–“Mr. Dromore, sir, is not in. But he will be almost sure to be in to dress. Miss Nell is in, sir.”

And there she was, sitting at the table, pasting photographs into an album–lonely young creature in that abode of male middle-age! Lennan stood, unheard, gazing at the back of her head, with its thick crinkly-brown hair tied back on her dark-red frock. And, to the confidential man’s soft:

“Mr. Lennan, miss,” he added a softer: “May I come in?”

She put her hand into his with intense composure.

“Oh, yes, do! if you don’t mind the mess I’m making;” and, with a little squeeze of the tips of his fingers, added: “Would it bore you to see my photographs?”

And down they sat together before the photographs–snapshots of people with guns or fishing-rods, little groups of schoolgirls, kittens, Dromore and herself on horseback, and several of a young man with a broad, daring, rather good-looking face. “That’s Oliver–Oliver Dromore–Dad’s first cousin once removed. Rather nice, isn’t he? Do you like his expression?”

Lennan did not know. Not her second cousin; her father’s first cousin once removed! And again there leaped in him that unreasoning flame of indignant pity.

“And how about drawing? You haven’t come to be taught yet.”

She went almost as red as her frock.

“I thought you were only being polite. I oughtn’t to have asked. Of course, I want to awfully–only I know it’ll bore you.”

“It won’t at all.”

She looked up at that. What peculiar languorous eyes they were!

“Shall I come to-morrow, then?”

“Any day you like, between half-past twelve and one.”

“Where?”

He took out a card.

“Mark Lennan–yes–I like your name. I liked it the other day. It’s awfully nice!”

What was in a name that she should like him because of it? His fame as a sculptor–such as it was–could have nothing to do with that, for she would certainly not know of it. Ah! but there was a lot in a name–for children. In his childhood what fascination there had been in the words macaroon, and Spaniard, and Carinola, and Aldebaran, and Mr. McCrae. For quite a week the whole world had been Mr. McCrae–a most ordinary friend of Gordy’s.

By whatever fascination moved, she talked freely enough now–of her school; of riding and motoring–she seemed to love going very fast; about Newmarket–which was ‘perfect’; and theatres–plays of the type that Johnny Dromore might be expected to approve; these together with ‘Hamlet’ and ‘King Lear’ were all she had seen. Never was a girl so untouched by thought, or Art–yet not stupid, having, seemingly, a certain natural good taste; only, nothing, evidently, had come her way. How could it–‘Johnny Dromore duce, et auspice Johnny Dromore!’ She had been taken, indeed, to the National Gallery while at school. And Lennan had a vision of eight or ten young maidens trailing round at the skirts of one old maiden, admiring Landseer’s dogs, giggling faintly at Botticelli’s angels, gaping, rustling, chattering like young birds in a shrubbery.

But with all her surroundings, this child of Johnny Dromoredom was as yet more innocent than cultured girls of the same age. If those grey, mesmeric eyes of hers followed him about, they did so frankly, unconsciously. There was no minx in her, so far.

An hour went by, and Dromore did not come. And the loneliness of this young creature in her incongruous abode began telling on Lennan’s equanimity.

What did she do in the evenings?

“Sometimes I go to the theatre with Dad, generally I stay at home.”

“And then?”

“Oh! I just read, or talk French.”

“What? To yourself?”

“Yes, or to Oliver sometimes, when he comes in.”

So Oliver came in!

“How long have you known Oliver?”

“Oh! ever since I was a child.”

He wanted to say: And how long is that? But managed to refrain, and got up to go instead. She caught his sleeve and said:

“You’re not to go!” Saying that she looked as a dog will, going to bite in fun, her upper lip shortened above her small white teeth set fast on her lower lip, and her chin thrust a little forward. A glimpse of a wilful spirit! But as soon as he had smiled, and murmured:

“Ah! but I must, you see!” she at once regained her manners, only saying rather mournfully: “You don’t call me by my name. Don’t you like it?”

“Nell?”

“Yes. It’s really Eleanor, of course. DON’T you like it?”

If he had detested the name, he could only have answered: “Very much.”

“I’m awfully glad! Good-bye.”

When he got out into the street, he felt terribly like a man who, instead of having had his sleeve touched, has had his heart plucked at. And that warm, bewildered feeling lasted him all the way home.

Changing for dinner, he looked at himself with unwonted attention. Yes, his dark hair was still thick, but going distinctly grey; there were very many lines about his eyes, too, and those eyes, still eager when they smiled, were particularly deepset, as if life had forced them back. His cheekbones were almost ‘bopsies’ now, and his cheeks very thin and dark, and his jaw looked too set and bony below the almost black moustache. Altogether a face that life had worn a good deal, with nothing for a child to take a fancy to and make friends with, that he could see.

Sylvia came in while he was thus taking stock of himself, bringing a freshly-opened flask of eau-de-Cologne. She was always bringing him something–never was anyone so sweet in those ways. In that grey, low-cut frock, her white, still prettiness and pale-gold hair, so little touched by Time, only just fell short of real beauty for lack of a spice of depth and of incisiveness, just as her spirit lacked he knew not what of poignancy. He would not for the world have let her know that he ever felt that lack. If a man could not hide little rifts in the lute from one so good and humble and affectionate, he was not fit to live.

She sang ‘The Castle of Dromore’ again that night with its queer haunting lilt. And when she had gone up, and he was smoking over the fire, the girl in her dark-red frock seemed to come, and sit opposite with her eyes fixed on his, just as she had been sitting while they talked. Dark red had suited her! Suited the look on her face when she said:

“You’re not to go!” Odd, indeed, if she had not some devil in her, with that parentage!

Next day they had summoned him from the studio to see a peculiar phenomenon–Johnny Dromore, very well groomed, talking to Sylvia with unnatural suavity, and carefully masking the goggle in his eyes! Mrs. Lennan ride? Ah! Too busy, of course. Helped Mark with his–er–No! Really! Read a lot, no doubt? Never had any time for readin’ himself–awful bore not having time to read! And Sylvia listening and smiling, very still and soft.

What had Dromore come for? To spy out the land, discover why Lennan and his wife thought nothing of the word ‘outside’–whether, in fact, their household was respectable. . . . A man must always look twice at ‘what-d’you-call-ems,’ even if they have shared his room at school! . . . To his credit, of course, to be so careful of his daughter, at the expense of time owed to the creation of the perfect racehorse! On the whole he seemed to be coming to the conclusion that they might be useful to Nell in the uncomfortable time at hand when she would have to go about; seemed even to be falling under the spell of Sylvia’s transparent goodness– abandoning his habitual vigilance against being scored off in life’s perpetual bet; parting with his armour of chaff. Almost a relief, indeed, once out of Sylvia’s presence, to see that familiar, unholy curiosity creeping back into his eyes, as though they were hoping against parental hope to find something–er– amusing somewhere about that mysterious Mecca of good times–a ‘what-d’you-call-it’s’ studio. Delicious to watch the conflict between relief and disappointment. Alas! no model–not even a statue without clothes; nothing but portrait heads, casts of animals, and such-like sobrieties–absolutely nothing that could bring a blush to the cheek of the young person, or a glow to the eyes of a Johnny Dromore.

With what curious silence he walked round and round the group of sheep-dogs, inquiring into them with that long crinkled nose of his! With what curious suddenness, he said: “Damned good! You wouldn’t do me one of Nell on horseback?” With what dubious watchfulness he listened to the answer:

“I might, perhaps, do a statuette of her; if I did, you should have a cast.”

Did he think that in some way he was being outmanoeuvered? For he remained some seconds in a sort of trance before muttering, as though clinching a bet:

“Done! And if you want to ride with her to get the hang of it, I can always mount you.”

When he had gone, Lennan remained staring at his unfinished sheep- dogs in the gathering dusk. Again that sense of irritation at contact with something strange, hostile, uncomprehending! Why let these Dromores into his life like this? He shut the studio, and went back to the drawing-room. Sylvia was sitting on the fender, gazing at the fire, and she edged along so as to rest against his knees. The light from a candle on her writing-table was shining on her hair, her cheek, and chin, that years had so little altered. A pretty picture she made, with just that candle flame, swaying there, burning slowly, surely down the pale wax–candle flame, of all lifeless things most living, most like a spirit, so bland and vague, one would hardly have known it was fire at all. A drift of wind blew it this way and that: he got up to shut the window, and as he came back; Sylvia said:

“I like Mr. Dromore. I think he’s nicer than he looks.”

“He’s asked me to make a statuette of his daughter on horseback.”

“And will you?”

“I don’t know.”

“If she’s really so pretty, you’d better.”

“Pretty’s hardly the word–but she’s not ordinary.”

She turned round, and looked up at him, and instinctively he felt that something difficult to answer was coming next.

“Mark.”

“Yes.”

“I wanted to ask you: Are you really happy nowadays?”

“Of course. Why not?”

What else to be said? To speak of those feelings of the last few months–those feelings so ridiculous to anyone who had them not– would only disturb her horribly.

And having received her answer, Sylvia turned back to the fire, resting silently against his knees. . . .

Three days later the sheep-dogs suddenly abandoned the pose into which he had lured them with such difficulty, and made for the studio door. There in the street was Nell Dromore, mounted on a narrow little black horse with a white star, a white hoof, and devilish little goat’s ears, pricked, and very close together at the tips.

“Dad said I had better ride round and show you Magpie. He’s not very good at standing still. Are those your dogs? What darlings!”

She had slipped her knee already from the pummel, and slid down; the sheep-dogs were instantly on their hind-feet, propping themselves against her waist. Lennan held the black horse–a bizarre little beast, all fire and whipcord, with a skin like satin, liquid eyes, very straight hocks, and a thin bang-tail reaching down to them. The little creature had none of those commonplace good looks so discouraging to artists.

He had forgotten its rider, till she looked up from the dogs, and said: “Do you like him? It IS nice of you to be going to do us.”

When she had ridden away, looking back until she turned the corner, he tried to lure the two dogs once more to their pose. But they would sit no more, going continually to the door, listening and sniffing; and everything felt disturbed and out of gear.

That same afternoon at Sylvia’s suggestion he went with her to call on the Dromores.

While they were being ushered in he heard a man’s voice rather high-pitched speaking in some language not his own; then the girl:

“No, no, Oliver. ‘Dans l’amour il y a toujours un qui aime, et l’autre qui se laisse aimer.'”

She was sitting in her father’s chair, and on the window-sill they saw a young man lolling, who rose and stood stock-still, with an almost insolent expression on his broad, good-looking face. Lennan scrutinized him with interest–about twenty-four he might be, rather dandified, clean-shaved, with crisp dark hair and wide-set hazel eyes, and, as in his photograph, a curious look of daring. His voice, when he vouchsafed a greeting, was rather high and not unpleasant, with a touch of lazy drawl.

They stayed but a few minutes, and going down those dimly lighted stairs again, Sylvia remarked:

“How prettily she said good-bye–as if she were putting up her face to be kissed! I think she’s lovely. So does that young man. They go well together.”

Rather abruptly Lennan answered:

“Ah! I suppose they do.”

She came to them often after that, sometimes alone, twice with Johnny Dromore, sometimes with young Oliver, who, under Sylvia’s spell, soon lost his stand-off air. And the statuette was begun. Then came Spring in earnest, and that real business of life–the racing of horses ‘on the flat,’ when Johnny Dromore’s genius was no longer hampered by the illegitimate risks of ‘jumpin’.’ He came to dine with them the day before the first Newmarket meeting. He had a soft spot for Sylvia, always saying to Lennan as he went away: “Charmin’ woman–your wife!” She, too, had a soft spot for him, having fathomed the utter helplessness of this worldling’s wisdom, and thinking him pathetic.

After he was gone that evening, she said:

“Ought we to have Nell to stay with us while you’re finishing her? She must be very lonely now her father’s so much away.”

It was like Sylvia to think of that; but would it be pleasure or vexation to have in the house this child with her quaint grown- upness, her confiding ways, and those ‘Perdita’ eyes? In truth he did not know.

She came to them with touching alacrity–very like a dog, who, left at home when the family goes for a holiday, takes at once to those who make much of it.

And she was no trouble, too well accustomed to amuse herself; and always quaint to watch, with her continual changes from child to woman of the world. A new sensation, this–of a young creature in the house. Both he and Sylvia had wanted children, without luck. Twice illness had stood in the way. Was it, perhaps, just that little lack in her–that lack of poignancy, which had prevented her from becoming a mother? An only child herself, she had no nieces or nephews; Cicely’s boys had always been at school, and now were out in the world. Yes, a new sensation, and one in which Lennan’s restless feelings seemed to merge and vanish.

Outside the hours when Nell sat to him, he purposely saw but little of her, leaving her to nestle under Sylvia’s wing; and this she did, as if she never wanted to come out. Thus he preserved his amusement at her quaint warmths, and quainter calmness, his aesthetic pleasure in watching her, whose strange, half-hypnotized, half-hypnotic gaze, had a sort of dreamy and pathetic lovingness, as if she were brimful of affections that had no outlet.

Every morning after ‘sitting’ she would stay an hour bent over her own drawing, which made practically no progress; and he would often catch her following his movements with those great eyes of hers, while the sheep-dogs would lie perfectly still at her feet, blinking horribly–such was her attraction. His birds also, a jackdaw and an owl, who had the run of the studio, tolerated her as they tolerated no other female, save the housekeeper. The jackdaw would perch on her and peck her dress; but the owl merely engaged her in combats of mesmeric gazing, which never ended in victory for either.

Now that she was with them, Oliver Dromore began to haunt the house, coming at all hours, on very transparent excuses. She behaved to him with extreme capriciousness, sometimes hardly speaking, sometimes treating him like a brother; and in spite of all his nonchalance, the poor youth would just sit glowering, or gazing out his adoration, according to her mood.

One of these July evenings Lennan remembered beyond all others. He had come, after a hard day’s work, out from his studio into the courtyard garden to smoke a cigarette and feel the sun on his cheek before it sank behind the wall. A piano-organ far away was grinding out a waltz; and on an hydrangea tub, under the drawing- room window, he sat down to listen. Nothing was visible from there, save just the square patch of a quite blue sky, and one soft plume of smoke from his own kitchen chimney; nothing audible save that tune, and the never-ending street murmur. Twice birds flew across–starlings. It was very peaceful, and his thoughts went floating like the smoke of his cigarette, to meet who-knew-what other thoughts–for thoughts, no doubt, had little swift lives of their own; desired, found their mates, and, lightly blending, sent forth offspring. Why not? All things were possible in this wonder-house of a world. Even that waltz tune, floating away, would find some melody to wed, and twine with, and produce a fresh chord that might float in turn to catch the hum of a gnat or fly, and breed again. Queer–how everything sought to entwine with something else! On one of the pinkish blooms of the hydrangea he noted a bee–of all things, in this hidden-away garden of tiles and gravel and plants in tubs! The little furry, lonely thing was drowsily clinging there, as if it had forgotten what it had come for–seduced, maybe, like himself, from labour by these last rays of the sun. Its wings, close-furled, were glistening; its eyes seemed closed. And the piano-organ played on, a tune of yearning, waiting, yearning. . . .

Then, through the window above his head, he heard Oliver Dromore–a voice one could always tell, pitched high, with its slight drawl– pleading, very softly at first, then insistent, imperious; and suddenly Nell’s answering voice:

“I won’t, Oliver! I won’t! I won’t!”

He rose to go out of earshot. Then a door slammed, and he saw her at the window above him, her waist on a level with his head; flushed, with her grey eyes ominously bright, her full lips parted. And he said:

“What is it, Nell?”

She leaned down and caught his hand; her touch was fiery hot.

“He kissed me! I won’t let him–I won’t kiss him!”

Through his head went a medley of sayings to soothe children that are hurt; but he felt unsteady, unlike himself. And suddenly she knelt, and put her hot forehead against his lips.

It was as if she had really been a little child, wanting the place kissed to make it well.

VII

After that strange outburst, Lennan considered long whether he should speak to Oliver. But what could he say, from what standpoint say it, and–with that feeling? Or should he speak to Dromore? Not very easy to speak on such a subject to one off whose turf all spiritual matters were so permanently warned. Nor somehow could he bring himself to tell Sylvia; it would be like violating a confidence to speak of the child’s outburst and that quivering moment, when she had kneeled and put her hot forehead to his lips for comfort. Such a disclosure was for Nell herself to make, if she so wished.

And then young Oliver solved the difficulty by coming to the studio himself next day. He entered with ‘Dromore’ composure, very well groomed, in a silk hat, a cut-away black coat and charming lemon- coloured gloves; what, indeed, the youth did, besides belonging to the Yeomanry and hunting all the winter, seemed known only to himself. He made no excuse for interrupting Lennan, and for some time sat silently smoking his cigarette, and pulling the ears of the dogs. And Lennan worked on, waiting. There was always something attractive to him in this young man’s broad, good-looking face, with its crisp dark hair, and half-insolent good humour, now so clouded.

At last Oliver got up, and went over to the unfinished ‘Girl on the Magpie Horse.’ Turning to it so that his face could not be seen, he said:

“You and Mrs. Lennan have been awfully kind to me; I behaved rather like a cad yesterday. I thought I’d better tell you. I want to marry Nell, you know.”

Lennan was glad that the young man’s face was so religiously averted. He let his hands come to anchor on what he was working at before he answered: “She’s only a child, Oliver;” and then, watching his fingers making an inept movement with the clay, was astonished at himself.

“She’ll be eighteen this month,” he heard Oliver say. “If she once gets out–amongst people–I don’t know what I shall do. Old Johnny’s no good to look after her.”

The young man’s face was very red; he was forgetting to hide it now. Then it went white, and he said through clenched teeth: “She sends me mad! I don’t know how not to–If I don’t get her, I shall shoot myself. I shall, you know–I’m that sort. It’s her eyes. They draw you right out of yourself–and leave you–” And from his gloved hand the smoked-out cigarette-end fell to the floor. “They say her mother was like that. Poor old Johnny! D’you think I’ve got a chance, Mr. Lennan? I don’t mean now, this minute; I know she’s too young.”

Lennan forced himself to answer.

“I dare say, my dear fellow, I dare say. Have you talked with my wife?”

Oliver shook his head.

“She’s so good–I don’t think she’d quite understand my sort of feeling.”

A queer little smile came up on Lennan’s lips.

“Ah, well!” he said, “you must give the child time. Perhaps when she comes back from Ireland, after the summer.”

The young man answered moodily:

“Yes. I’ve got the run of that, you know. And I shan’t be able to keep away.” He took up his hat. “I suppose I oughtn’t to have come and bored you about this, but Nell thinks such a lot of you; and, you being different to most people–I thought you wouldn’t mind.” He turned again at the door. “It wasn’t gas what I said just now–about not getting her. Fellows say that sort of thing, but I mean it.”

He put on that shining hat and went.

And Lennan stood, staring at the statuette. So! Passion broke down even the defences of Dromoredom. Passion! Strange hearts it chose to bloom in!

‘Being different to most people–I thought you wouldn’t mind’! How had this youth known that Sylvia would not understand passion so out of hand as this? And what had made it clear that he (Lennan) would? Was there, then, something in his face? There must be! Even Johnny Dromore–most reticent of creatures–had confided to him that one hour of his astute existence, when the wind had swept him out to sea!

Yes! And that statuette would never be any good, try as he might. Oliver was right–it was her eyes! How they had smoked–in their childish anger–if eyes could be said to smoke, and how they had drawn and pleaded when she put her face to his in her still more childish entreaty! If they were like this now, what would they be when the woman in her woke? Just as well not to think of her too much! Just as well to work, and take heed that he would soon be forty-seven! Just as well that next week she would be gone to Ireland!

And the last evening before she went they took her to see “Carmen” at the Opera. He remembered that she wore a nearly high white frock, and a dark carnation in the ribbon tying her crinkly hair, that still hung loose. How wonderfully entranced she sat, drunk on that opera that he had seen a score of times; now touching his arm, now Sylvia’s, whispering questions: “Who’s that?” “What’s coming now?” The Carmen roused her to adoration, but Don Jose was ‘too fat in his funny little coat,’ till, in the maddened jealousy of the last act, he rose superior. Then, quite lost in excitement, she clutched Lennan’s arm; and her gasp, when Carmen at last fell dead, made all their neighbours jump. Her emotion was far more moving than that on the stage; he wanted badly to stroke, and comfort her and say: “There, there, my dear, it’s only make- believe!” And, when it was over, and the excellent murdered lady and her poor fat little lover appeared before the curtain, finally forgetting that she was a woman of the world, she started forward in her seat and clapped, and clapped. Fortunate that Johnny Dromore was not there to see! But all things coming to an end, they had to get up and go. And, as they made their way out to the hall, Lennan felt a hot little finger crooked into his own, as if she simply must have something to squeeze. He really did not know what to do with it. She seemed to feel this half-heartedness, soon letting it go. All the way home in the cab she was silent. With that same abstraction she ate her sandwiches and drank her lemonade; took Sylvia’s kiss, and, quite a woman of the world once more, begged that they would not get up to see her off–for she was to go at seven in the morning, to catch the Irish mail. Then, holding out her hand to Lennan, she very gravely said:

“Thanks most awfully for taking me to-night. Good-bye!”

He stayed full half an hour at the window, smoking. No street lamp shone just there, and the night was velvety black above the plane- trees. At last, with a sigh, he shut up, and went tiptoe-ing upstairs in darkness. Suddenly in the corridor the white wall seemed to move at him. A warmth, a fragrance, a sound like a tiny sigh, and something soft was squeezed into his hand. Then the wall moved back, and he stood listening–no sound, no anything! But in his dressing-room he looked at the soft thing in his hand. It was the carnation from her hair. What had possessed the child to give him that? Carmen! Ah! Carmen! And gazing at the flower, he held it away from him with a sort of terror; but its scent arose. And suddenly he thrust it, all fresh as it was, into a candle-flame, and held it, burning, writhing, till it blackened to velvet. Then his heart smote him for so cruel a deed. It was still beautiful, but its scent was gone. And turning to the window he flung it far out into the darkness.

VIII

Now that she was gone, it was curious how little they spoke of her, considering how long she had been with them. And they had from her but one letter written to Sylvia, very soon after she left, ending: “Dad sends his best respects, please; and with my love to you and Mr. Lennan, and all the beasts.–NELL.

“Oliver is coming here next week. We are going to some races.”

It was difficult, of course, to speak of her, with that episode of the flower, too bizarre to be told–the sort of thing Sylvia would see out of all proportion–as, indeed, any woman might. Yet–what had it really been, but the uncontrolled impulse of an emotional child longing to express feelings kindled by the excitement of that opera? What but a child’s feathery warmth, one of those flying peeps at the mystery of passion that young things take? He could not give away that pretty foolishness. And because he would not give it away, he was more than usually affectionate to Sylvia.

They had made no holiday plans, and he eagerly fell in with her suggestion that they should go down to Hayle. There, if anywhere, this curious restlessness would leave him. They had not been down to the old place for many years; indeed, since Gordy’s death it was generally let.

They left London late in August. The day was closing in when they arrived. Honeysuckle had long been improved away from that station paling, against which he had stood twenty-nine years ago, watching the train carrying Anna Stormer away. In the hired fly Sylvia pressed close to him, and held his hand beneath the ancient dust- rug. Both felt the same excitement at seeing again this old home. Not a single soul of the past days would be there now–only the house and the trees, the owls and the stars; the river, park, and logan stone! It was dark when they arrived; just their bedroom and two sitting-rooms had been made ready, with fires burning, though it was still high summer. The same old execrable Heatherleys looked down from the black oak panellings. The same scent of apples and old mice clung here and there about the dark corridors with their unexpected stairways. It was all curiously unchanged, as old houses are when they are let furnished.

Once in the night he woke. Through the wide-open, uncurtained windows the night was simply alive with stars, such swarms of them swinging and trembling up there; and, far away, rose the melancholy, velvet-soft hooting of an owl.

Sylvia’s voice, close to him, said:

“Mark, that night when your star caught in my hair? Do you remember?”

Yes, he remembered. And in his drowsy mind just roused from dreams, there turned and turned the queer nonsensical refrain: “I never–never–will desert Mr. Micawber. . . .”

A pleasant month that–of reading, and walking with the dogs the country round, of lying out long hours amongst the boulders or along the river banks, watching beasts and birds.

The little old green-house temple of his early masterpieces was still extant, used now to protect watering pots. But no vestige of impulse towards work came to him down there. He was marking time; not restless, not bored, just waiting–but for what, he had no notion. And Sylvia, at any rate, was happy, blooming in these old haunts, losing her fairness in the sun; even taking again to a sunbonnet, which made her look extraordinarily young. The trout that poor old Gordy had so harried were left undisturbed. No gun was fired; rabbits, pigeons, even the few partridges enjoyed those first days of autumn unmolested. The bracken and leaves turned very early, so that the park in the hazy September sunlight had an almost golden hue. A gentle mellowness reigned over all that holiday. And from Ireland came no further news, save one picture postcard with the words: “This is our house.–NELL.”

In the last week of September they went back to London. And at once there began in him again that restless, unreasonable aching– that sense of being drawn away out of himself; so that he once more took to walking the Park for hours, over grass already strewn with leaves, always looking–craving–and for what?

At Dromore’s the confidential man did not know when his master would be back; he had gone to Scotland with Miss Nell after the St. Leger. Was Lennan disappointed? Not so–relieved, rather. But his ache was there all the time, feeding on its secrecy and loneliness, unmentionable feeling that it was. Why had he not realized long ago that youth was over, passion done with, autumn upon him? How never grasped the fact that ‘Time steals away’? And, as before, the only refuge was in work. The sheep–dogs and ‘The Girl on the Magpie Horse’ were finished. He began a fantastic ‘relief’–a nymph peering from behind a rock, and a wild-eyed man creeping, through reeds, towards her. If he could put into the nymph’s face something of this lure of Youth and Life and Love that was dragging at him, into the man’s face the state of his own heart, it might lay that feeling to rest. Anything to get it out of himself! And he worked furiously, laboriously, all October, making no great progress. . . . What could he expect when Life was all the time knocking with that muffled tapping at his door?

It was on the Tuesday, after the close of the last Newmarket meeting, and just getting dusk, when Life opened the door and walked in. She wore a dark-red dress, a new one, and surely her face–her figure–were very different from what he had remembered! They had quickened and become poignant. She was no longer a child– that was at once plain. Cheeks, mouth, neck, waist–all seemed fined, shaped; the crinkly, light-brown hair was coiled up now under a velvet cap; only the great grey eyes seemed quite the same. And at sight of her his heart gave a sort of dive and flight, as if all its vague and wistful sensations had found their goal.

Then, in sudden agitation, he realized that his last moment with this girl–now a child no longer–had been a secret moment of warmth and of emotion; a moment which to her might have meant, in her might have bred, feelings that he had no inkling of. He tried to ignore that fighting and diving of his heart, held out his hand, and murmured:

“Ah, Nell! Back at last! You’ve grown.” Then, with a sensation of every limb gone weak, he felt her arms round his neck, and herself pressed against him. There was time for the thought to flash through him: This is terrible! He gave her a little convulsive squeeze–could a man do less?–then just managed to push her gently away, trying with all his might to think: She’s a child! It’s nothing more than after Carmen! She doesn’t know what I am feeling! But he was conscious of a mad desire to clutch her to him. The touch of her had demolished all his vagueness, made things only too plain, set him on fire.

He said uncertainly:

“Come to the fire, my child, and tell me all about it.”

If he did not keep to the notion that she was just a child, his head would go. Perdita–‘the lost one’! A good name for her, indeed, as she stood there, her eyes shining in the firelight–more mesmeric than ever they had been! And, to get away from the lure of those eyes, he bent down and raked the grate, saying:

“Have you seen Sylvia?” But he knew that she had not, even before she gave that impatient shrug. Then he pulled himself together, and said:

“What has happened to you, child?”

“I’m not a child.”

“No, we’ve both grown older. I was forty-seven the other day.”

She caught his hand–Heavens! how supple she was!–and murmured:

“You’re not old a bit; you’re quite young.” At his wits’ end, with his heart thumping, but still keeping his eyes away from her, he said:

“Where is Oliver?”

She dropped his hand at that.

“Oliver? I hate him!”

Afraid to trust himself near her, he had begun walking up and down. And she stood, following him with her gaze–the firelight playing on her red frock. What extraordinary stillness! What power she had developed in these few months! Had he let her see that he felt that power? And had all this come of one little moment in a dark corridor, of one flower pressed into his hand? Why had he not spoken to her roughly then–told her she was a romantic little fool? God knew what thoughts she had been feeding on! But who could have supposed–who dreamed–? And again he fixed his mind resolutely on that thought: She’s a child–only a child!

“Come!” he said: “tell me all about your time in Ireland?”

“Oh! it was just dull–it’s all been dull away from you.”

It came out without hesitancy or shame, and he could only murmur:

“Ah! you’ve missed your drawing!”

“Yes. Can I come to-morrow?”

That was the moment to have said: No! You are a foolish child, and I an elderly idiot! But he had neither courage nor clearness of mind enough; nor–the desire. And, without answering, he went towards the door to turn up the light.

“Oh, no! please don’t! It’s so nice like this!”

The shadowy room, the bluish dusk painted on all the windows, the fitful shining of the fire, the pallor and darkness of the dim casts and bronzes, and that one glowing figure there before the hearth! And her voice, a little piteous, went on:

“Aren’t you glad I’m back? I can’t see you properly out there.”

He went back into the glow, and she gave a little sigh of satisfaction. Then her calm young voice said, ever so distinctly:

“Oliver wants me to marry him, and I won’t, of course.”

He dared not say: Why not? He dared not say anything. It was too dangerous. And then followed those amazing words: “You know why, don’t you? Of course you do.”

It was ridiculous, almost shameful to understand their meaning. And he stood, staring in front of him, without a word; humility, dismay, pride, and a sort of mad exultation, all mixed and seething within him in the queerest pudding of emotion. But all he said was:

“Come, my child; we’re neither of us quite ourselves to-night. Let’s go to the drawing-room.”

Back in the darkness and solitude of the studio, when she was gone, he sat down before the fire, his senses in a whirl. Why was he not just an ordinary animal of a man that could enjoy what the gods had sent? It was as if on a November day someone had pulled aside the sober curtains of the sky and there in a chink had been April standing–thick white blossom, a purple cloud, a rainbow, grass vivid green, light flaring from one knew not where, and such a tingling passion of life on it all as made the heart stand still! This, then, was the marvellous, enchanting, maddening end of all that year of restlessness and wanting! This bit of Spring suddenly given to him in the midst of Autumn. Her lips, her eyes, her hair; her touching confidence; above all–quite unbelievable–her love. Not really love perhaps, just childish fancy. But on the wings of fancy this child would fly far, too far–all wistfulness and warmth beneath that light veneer of absurd composure.

To live again–to plunge back into youth and beauty–to feel Spring once more–to lose the sense of all being over, save just the sober jogtrot of domestic bliss; to know, actually to know, ecstasy again, in the love of a girl; to rediscover all that youth yearns for, and feels, and hopes, and dreads, and loves. It was a prospect to turn the head even of a decent man. . . .

By just closing his eyes he could see her standing there with the firelight glow on her red frock; could feel again that marvellous thrill when she pressed herself against him in the half-innocent, seducing moment when she first came in; could feel again her eyes drawing–drawing him! She was a witch, a grey-eyed, brown-haired witch–even unto her love of red. She had the witch’s power of lighting fever in the veins. And he simply wondered at himself, that he had not, as she stood there in the firelight, knelt, and put his arms round her and pressed his face against her waist. Why had he not? But he did not want to think; the moment thought began he knew he must be torn this way and that, tossed here and there between reason and desire, pity and passion. Every sense struggled to keep him wrapped in the warmth and intoxication of this discovery that he, in the full of Autumn, had awakened love in Spring. It was amazing that she could have this feeling; yet there was no mistake. Her manner to Sylvia just now had been almost dangerously changed; there had been a queer cold impatience in her look, frightening from one who but three months ago had been so affectionate. And, going away, she had whispered, with that old trembling-up at him, as if offering to be kissed: “I may come, mayn’t I? And don’t be angry with me, please; I can’t help it.” A monstrous thing at his age to let a young girl love him–compromise her future! A monstrous thing by all the canons of virtue and gentility! And yet–what future?–with that nature–those eyes– that origin–with that father, and that home? But he would not– simply must not think!

Nevertheless, he showed the signs of thought, and badly; for after dinner Sylvia, putting her hand on his forehead, said:

“You’re working too hard, Mark. You don’t go out enough.”

He held those fingers fast. Sylvia! No, indeed he must not think! But he took advantage of her words, and said that he would go out and get some air.

He walked at a great pace–to keep thought away–till he reached the river close to Westminster, and, moved by sudden impulse, seeking perhaps an antidote, turned down into that little street under the big Wren church, where he had never been since the summer night when he lost what was then more to him than life. There SHE had lived; there was the house–those windows which he had stolen past and gazed at with such distress and longing. Who lived there now? Once more he seemed to see that face out of the past, the dark hair, and dark soft eyes, and sweet gravity; and it did not reproach him. For this new feeling was not a love like that had been. Only once could a man feel the love that passed all things, the love before which the world was but a spark in a draught of wind; the love that, whatever dishonour, grief, and unrest it might come through, alone had in it the heart of peace and joy and honour. Fate had torn that love from him, nipped it off as a sharp wind nips off a perfect flower. This new feeling was but a fever, a passionate fancy, a grasping once more at Youth and Warmth. Ah, well! but it was real enough! And, in one of those moments when a man stands outside himself, seems to be lifted away and see his own life twirling, Lennan had a vision of a shadow driven here and there; a straw going round and round; a midge in the grip of a mad wind. Where was the home of this mighty secret feeling that sprang so suddenly out of the dark, and caught you by the throat? Why did it come now and not then, for this one and not that other? What did man know of it, save that it made him spin and hover–like a moth intoxicated by a light, or a bee by some dark sweet flower; save that it made of him a distraught, humble, eager puppet of its fancy? Had it not once already driven him even to the edge of death; and must it now come on him again with its sweet madness, its drugging scent? What was it? Why was it? Why these passionate obsessions that could not decently be satisfied? Had civilization so outstripped man that his nature was cramped into shoes too small–like the feet of a Chinese woman? What was it? Why was it?

And faster than ever he walked away.

Pall Mall brought him back to that counterfeit presentment of the real–reality. There, in St. James’s Street, was Johnny Dromore’s Club; and, again moved by impulse, he pushed open its swing door. No need to ask; for there was Dromore in the hall, on his way from dinner to the card-room. The glossy tan of hard exercise and good living lay on his cheeks as thick as clouted cream. His eyes had the peculiar shine of superabundant vigour; a certain sub-festive air in face and voice and movements suggested that he was going to make a night of it. And the sardonic thought flashed through Lennan: Shall I tell him?

“Hallo, old chap! Awfully glad to see you! What you doin’ with yourself? Workin’ hard? How’s your wife? You been away? Been doin’ anything great?” And then the question that would have given him his chance, if he had liked to be so cruel:

“Seen Nell?”

“Yes, she came round this afternoon.”

“What d’you think of her? Comin’ on nicely, isn’t she?”

That old query, half furtive and half proud, as much as to say: ‘I know she’s not in the stud-book, but, d–n it, I sired her!’ And then the old sudden gloom, which lasted but a second, and gave way again to chaff.

Lennan stayed very few minutes. Never had he felt farther from his old school-chum.

No. Whatever happened, Johnny Dromore must be left out. It was a position he had earned with his goggling eyes, and his astute philosophy; from it he should not be disturbed.

He passed along the railings of the Green Park. On the cold air of this last October night a thin haze hung, and the acrid fragrance from little bonfires of fallen leaves. What was there about that scent of burned-leaf smoke that had always moved him so? Symbol of parting!–that most mournful thing in all the world. For what would even death be, but for parting? Sweet, long sleep, or new adventure. But, if a man loved others–to leave them, or be left! Ah! and it was not death only that brought partings!

He came to the opening of the street where Dromore lived. She would be there, sitting by the fire in the big chair, playing with her kitten, thinking, dreaming, and–alone! He passed on at such a pace that people stared; till, turning the last corner for home, he ran almost into the arms of Oliver Dromore.

The young man was walking with unaccustomed indecision, his fur coat open, his opera-hat pushed up on his crisp hair. Dark under the eyes, he had not the proper gloss of a Dromore at this season of the year.

“Mr. Lennan! I’ve just been round to you.”

And Lennan answered dazedly:

“Will you come in, or shall I walk your way a bit?”

“I’d rather–out here, if you don’t mind.”

So in silence they went back into the Square. And Oliver said:

“Let’s get over by the rails.”

They crossed to the railings of the Square’s dark garden, where nobody was passing. And with every step Lennan’s humiliation grew. There was something false and undignified in walking with this young man who had once treated him as a father confessor to his love for Nell. And suddenly he perceived that they had made a complete circuit of the Square garden without speaking a single word.

“Yes?” he said.

Oliver turned his face away.

“You remember what I told you in the summer. Well, it’s worse now. I’ve been going a mucker lately in all sorts of ways to try and get rid of it. But it’s all no good. She’s got me!”

And Lennan thought: You’re not alone in that! But he kept silence. His chief dread was of saying something that he would remember afterwards as the words of Judas.

Then Oliver suddenly burst out:

“Why can’t she care? I suppose I’m nothing much, but she’s known me all her life, and she used to like me. There’s something–I can’t make out. Could you do anything for me with her?”

Lennan pointed across the street.

“In every other one of those houses, Oliver,” he said, “there’s probably some creature who can’t make out why another creature doesn’t care. Passion comes when it will, goes when it will; and we poor devils have no say in it.”

“What do you advise me, then?”

Lennan had an almost overwhelming impulse to turn on his heel and leave the young man standing there. But he forced himself to look at his face, which even then had its attraction–perhaps more so than ever, so pallid and desperate it was. And he said slowly, staring mentally at every word:

“I’m not up to giving you advice. The only thing I might say is: One does not press oneself where one isn’t wanted; all the same– who knows? So long as she feels you’re there, waiting, she might turn to you at any moment. The more chivalrous you are, Oliver, the more patiently you wait, the better chance you have.”

Oliver took those words of little comfort without flinching. “I see,” he said. “Thanks! But, my God! it’s hard. I never could wait.” And with that epigram on himself, holding out his hand, he turned away.

Lennan went slowly home, trying to gauge exactly how anyone who knew all would judge him. It was a little difficult in this affair to keep a shred of dignity.

Sylvia had not gone up, and he saw her looking at him anxiously. The one strange comfort in all this was that his feeling for her, at any rate, had not changed. It seemed even to have deepened–to be more real to him.

How could he help staying awake that night? How could he help thinking, then? And long time he lay, staring at the dark.

As if thinking were any good for fever in the veins!

Passion never plays the game. It, at all events, is free from self-consciousness, and pride; from dignity, nerves, scruples, cant, moralities; from hypocrisies, and wisdom, and fears for pocket, and position in this world and the next. Well did the old painters limn it as an arrow or a wind! If it had not been as swift and darting, Earth must long ago have drifted through space untenanted–to let. . . .

After that fevered night Lennan went to his studio at the usual hour and naturally did not do a stroke of work. He was even obliged to send away his model. The fellow had been his hairdresser, but, getting ill, and falling on dark days, one morning had come to the studio, to ask with manifest shame if his head were any good. After having tested his capacity for standing still, and giving him some introductions, Lennan had noted him down: “Five feet nine, good hair, lean face, something tortured and pathetic. Give him a turn if possible.” The turn had come, and the poor man was posing in a painful attitude, talking, whenever permitted, of the way things had treated him, and the delights of cutting hair. This morning he took his departure with the simple pleasure of one fully paid for services not rendered.

And so, walking up and down, up and down, the sculptor waited for Nell’s knock. What would happen now? Thinking had made nothing clear. Here was offered what every warm-blooded man whose Spring is past desires–youth and beauty, and in that youth a renewal of his own; what all men save hypocrites and Englishmen would even admit that they desired. And it was offered to one who had neither religious nor moral scruples, as they are commonly understood. In theory he could accept. In practice he did not as yet know what he could do. One thing only he had discovered during the night’s reflections: That those who scouted belief in the principle of Liberty made no greater mistake than to suppose that Liberty was dangerous because it made a man a libertine. To those with any decency, the creed of Freedom was–of all–the most enchaining. Easy enough to break chains imposed by others, fling his cap over the windmill, and cry for the moment at least: I am unfettered, free! Hard, indeed, to say the same to his own unfettered Self! Yes, his own Self was in the judgment-seat; by his own verdict and decision he must abide. And though he ached for the sight of her, and his will seemed paralyzed–many times already he had thought: It won’t do! God help me!

Then twelve o’clock had come, and she had not. Would ‘The Girl on the Magpie Horse’ be all he would see of her to-day–that unsatisfying work, so cold, and devoid of witchery? Better have tried to paint her–with a red flower in her hair, a pout on her lips, and her eyes fey, or languorous. Goya could have painted her!

And then, just as he had given her up, she came.

After taking one look at his face, she slipped in ever so quietly, like a very good child. . . . Marvellous the instinct and finesse of the young when they are women! . . . Not a vestige in her of yesterday’s seductive power; not a sign that there had been a yesterday at all–just confiding, like a daughter. Sitting there, telling him about Ireland, showing him the little batch of drawings she had done while she was away. Had she brought them because she knew they would make him feel sorry for her? What could have been less dangerous, more appealing to the protective and paternal side of him than she was that morning; as if she only wanted what her father and her home could not give her–only wanted to be a sort of daughter to him!

She went away demurely, as she had come, refusing to stay to lunch, manifestly avoiding Sylvia. Only then he realized that she must have taken alarm from the look of strain on his face, been afraid that he would send her away; only then perceived that, with her appeal to his protection, she had been binding him closer, making it harder for him to break away and hurt her. And the fevered aching began again–worse than ever–the moment he lost sight of her. And more than ever he felt in the grip of something beyond his power to fight against; something that, however he swerved, and backed, and broke away, would close in on him, find means to bind him again hand and foot.

In the afternoon Dromore’s confidential man brought him a note. The fellow, with his cast-down eyes, and his well-parted hair, seemed to Lennan to be saying: “Yes, sir–it is quite natural that you should take the note out of eyeshot, sir–BUT I KNOW; fortunately, there is no necessity for alarm–I am strictly confidential.”

And this was what the note contained:

“You promised to ride with me once–you DID promise, and you never have. Do please ride with me to-morrow; then you will get what you want for the statuette instead of being so cross with it. You can have Dad’s horse–he has gone to Newmarket again, and I’m so lonely. Please–to-morrow, at half-past two–starting from here. –NELL.”

To hesitate in view of those confidential eyes was not possible; it must be ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; and if ‘No,’ it would only mean that she would come in the morning instead. So he said:

“Just say ‘All right!'”

“Very good, sir.” Then from the door: “Mr. Dromore will be away till Saturday, sir.”

Now, why had the fellow said that? Curious how this desperate secret feeling of his own made him see sinister meaning in this servant, in Oliver’s visit of last night–in everything. It was vile–this suspiciousness! He could feel, almost see, himself deteriorating already, with this furtive feeling in his soul. It would soon be written on his face! But what was the use of troubling? What would come, would–one way or the other.

And suddenly he remembered with a shock that it was the first of November–Sylvia’s birthday! He had never before forgotten it. In the disturbance of that discovery he was very near to going and pouring out to her the whole story of his feelings. A charming birthday present, that would make! Taking his hat, instead, he dashed round to the nearest flower shop. A Frenchwoman kept it.

What had she?

What did Monsieur desire? “Des oeillets rouges? J’en ai de bien beaux ce soir.”

No–not those. White flowers!

“Une belle azalee?”

Yes, that would do–to be sent at once–at once!

Next door was a jeweller’s. He had never really known if Sylvia cared for jewels, since one day he happened to remark that they were vulgar. And feeling that he had fallen low indeed, to be trying to atone with some miserable gewgaw for never having thought of her all day, because he had been thinking of another, he went in and bought the only ornament whose ingredients did not make his gorge rise, two small pear-shaped black pearls, one at each end of a fine platinum chain. Coming out with it, he noticed over the street, in a clear sky fast deepening to indigo, the thinnest slip of a new moon, like a bright swallow, with wings bent back, flying towards the ground. That meant–fine weather! If it could only be fine weather in his heart! And in order that the azalea might arrive first, he walked up and down the Square which he and Oliver had patrolled the night before.

When he went in, Sylvia was just placing the white azalea in the window of the drawing-room; and stealing up behind her he clasped the little necklet round her throat. She turned round and clung to him. He could feel that she was greatly moved. And remorse stirred and stirred in him that he was betraying her with his kiss.

But, even while he kissed her, he was hardening his heart.

Next day, still following the lead of her words about fresh air and his tired look, he told her that he was going to ride, and did not say with whom. After applauding his resolution, she was silent for a little–then asked:

“Why don’t you ride with Nell?”

He had already so lost his dignity, that he hardly felt disgraced in answering:

“It might bore her!”

“Oh, no; it wouldn’t bore her.”

Had she meant anything by that? And feeling as if he were fencing with his own soul, he said:

“Very well, I will.”

He had perceived suddenly that he did not know his wife, having always till now believed that it was she who did not quite know him.

If she had not been out at lunch-time, he would have lunched out himself–afraid of his own face. For feverishness in sick persons mounts steadily with the approach of a certain hour. And surely his face, to anyone who could have seen him being conveyed to Piccadilly, would have suggested a fevered invalid rather than a healthy, middle-aged sculptor in a cab.

The horses were before the door–the little magpie horse, and a thoroughbred bay mare, weeded from Dromore’s racing stable. Nell, too, was standing ready, her cheeks very pink, and her eyes very bright. She did not wait for him to mount her, but took the aid of the confidential man. What was it that made her look so perfect on that little horse–shape of limb, or something soft and fiery in her spirit that the little creature knew of?

They started in silence, but as soon as the sound of hoofs died on the tan of Rotten Row, she turned to him.

“It was lovely of you to come! I thought you’d be afraid–you ARE afraid of me.”

And Lennan thought: You’re right!

“But please don’t look like yesterday. To-day’s too heavenly. Oh! I love beautiful days, and I love riding, and–” She broke off and looked at him. ‘Why can’t you just be nice to me’–she seemed to be saying–‘and love me as you ought!’ That was her power–the conviction that he did, and ought to love her; that she ought to and did love him. How simple!

But riding, too, is a simple passion; and simple passions distract each other. It was a treat to be on that bay mare. Who so to be trusted to ride the best as Johnny Dromore?

At the far end of the Row she cried out: “Let’s go on to Richmond now,” and trotted off into the road, as if she knew she could do with him what she wished. And, following meekly, he asked himself: Why? What was there in her to make up to him for all that he was losing–his power of work, his dignity, his self-respect? What was there? Just those eyes, and lips, and hair?

And as if she knew what he was thinking, she looked round and smiled.

So they jogged on over the Bridge and across Barnes Common into Richmond Park.

But the moment they touched turf, with one look back at him, she was off. Had she all the time meant to give him this breakneck chase–or had the loveliness of that Autumn day gone to her head– blue sky and coppery flames of bracken in the sun, and the beech leaves and the oak leaves; pure Highland colouring come South for once.

When in the first burst he had tested the mare’s wind, this chase of her, indeed, was sheer delight. Through glades, over fallen tree-trunks, in bracken up to the hocks, out across the open, past a herd of amazed and solemn deer, over rotten ground all rabbit- burrows, till just as he thought he was up to her, she slipped away by a quick turn round trees. Mischief incarnate, but something deeper than mischief, too! He came up with her at last, and leaned over to seize her rein. With a cut of her whip that missed his hand by a bare inch, and a wrench, she made him shoot past, wheeled in her tracks, and was off again like an arrow, back amongst the trees–lying right forward under the boughs, along the neck of her little horse. Then out from amongst the trees she shot downhill. Right down she went, full tilt, and after her went Lennan, lying back, and expecting the bay mare to come down at every stride. This was her idea of fun! She switched round at the bottom and went galloping along the foot of the hill; and he thought: Now I’ve got her! She could not break back up that hill, and there was no other cover for fully half a mile.

Then he saw, not thirty yards in front, an old sandpit; and Great God! she was going straight at it! And shouting frantically, he reined his mare outwards. But she only raised her whip, cut the magpie horse over the flank, and rode right on. He saw that little demon gather its feet and spring–down, down, saw him pitch, struggle, sink–and she, flung forward, roll over and lie on her back. He felt nothing at the moment, only had that fixed vision of a yellow patch of sand, the blue sky, a rook flying, and her face upturned. But when he came on her she was on her feet, holding the bridle of her dazed horse. No sooner did he touch her, than she sank down. Her eyes were closed, but he could feel that she had not fainted; and he just held her, and kept pressing his lips to her eyes and forehead. Suddenly she let her head fall back, and her lips met his. Then opening her eyes, she said: “I’m not hurt, only–funny. Has Magpie cut his knees?”

Not quite knowing what he did, he got up to look. The little horse was cropping at some grass, unharmed–the sand and fern had saved his knees. And the languid voice behind him said: “It’s all right– you can leave the horses. They’ll come when I call.”

Now that he knew she was unhurt, he felt angry. Why had she behaved in this mad way–given him this fearful shock? But in that same languid voice she went on: “Don’t be cross with me. I thought at first I’d pull up, but then I thought: ‘If I jump he can’t help being nice’–so I did–Don’t leave off loving me because I’m not hurt, please.”

Terribly moved, he sat down beside her, took her hands in his, and said:

“Nell! Nell! it’s all wrong–it’s madness!”

“Why? Don’t think about it! I don’t want you to think–only to love me.”

“My child, you don’t know what love is!”

For answer she only flung her arms round his neck; then, since he held back from kissing her, let them fall again, and jumped up.

“Very well. But I love you. You can think of THAT–you can’t prevent me!” And without waiting for help, she mounted the magpie horse from the sand-heap where they had fallen.

Very sober that ride home! The horses, as if ashamed of their mad chase, were edging close to each other, so that now and then his arm would touch her shoulder. He asked her once what she had felt while she was jumping.

“Only to be sure my foot was free. It was rather horrid coming down, thinking of Magpie’s knees;” and touching the little horse’s goat-like ears, she added softly: “Poor dear! He’ll be stiff to- morrow.”

She was again only the confiding, rather drowsy, child. Or was it

The Dark Flower by John Galsworthy (page 4)