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The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love by Emanuel Swedenborg

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any thing more lovely; hence the happiness they enjoy of living together
in the same house, chamber, and bed. That this is the case, you that are
husbands can assure yourselves from the first delights of marriage,
which are in their fulness; because at that time the wife is the only
one of the sex that is loved. That the reverse is the case with those
who are not in conjugial love, is well known.

BOTH DECREASE. That conjunction of minds increases with those who are in
love truly conjugial, was proved in the chapter ON THE CONJUNCTION OF
THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO BUT ONE FLESH, see n. 156*-191. But that
conjunction increases as friendship unites with love; because friendship
is as it were the face and also the raiment of that love; for it not
only joins itself to love as raiment, but also conjoins itself thereto
as a face. Love preceding friendship is like the love of the sex, which,
after the marriage vow, takes its leave and departs; whereas love
conjoined to friendship after the marriage vow, remains and is
strengthened; it likewise outers more interiorly into the breast,
friendship introducing it, and making it truly conjugial. In this case
the love makes its friendship also conjugial, which differs greatly from
the friendship of every other love; for it is full. That the case is
reversed with those who are not principled in conjugial love, is well
known. With these, the first friendship, which was insinuated during the
time of courtship, and afterwards during the period immediately
succeeding marriage, recedes more and more from the interiors of the
mind, and thence successively at length retires to the cuticles; and
with those who think of separation it entirely departs; but with those
who do not think of separation, love remains in the externals, yet it is
cold in the internals.

Conjugial love essentially consists in the desire of two to become one;
that is, in their desire that two lives may become one life. This desire
is the perpetual _conatus_ of that love, from which flow all its
effects. That _conatus_ is the very essence of motion, and that desire
is the living _conatus_ appertaining to man, is confirmed by the
researches of philosophers, and is also evident to such as take a view
of the subject from refined reason. Hence it follows, that those who are
in love truly conjugial, continually endeavour, that is, desire to be
one man. That the contrary is the case with those who are not in
conjugial love, they themselves very well know; for as they continually
think themselves two from the disunion of their souls and minds, so they
do not comprehend what is meant by the Lord's words, "_They are no
longer two, but one flesh_;" Matt. xix. 6.

Those who are in love truly conjugial have respect to what is eternal,
because in that love there is eternity; and its eternity is grounded in
this, that love with the wife, and wisdom with the husband, increases to
eternity; and in the increase or progression the married partners enter
more and more interiorly into the blessedness of heaven, which their
wisdom and its love have stored up together in themselves: if therefore
the idea of what is eternal were to be plucked away, or by any casualty
to escape from their minds, it would be as if they were cast down from
heaven. What is the state of conjugial partners in heaven, when the idea
of what is eternal falls out of their minds, and the idea of what is
temporal takes its place, was made evident to me from the following
case. On a certain time, permission having been granted for the purpose,
two married partners were present with me from heaven: and at that
instant the idea of what is eternal respecting marriage was taken away
from them by an idle disorderly spirit who was talking with craft and
subtlety. Hereupon they began to bewail themselves, saying, that they
could not live any longer, and that they felt such misery as they had
never felt before. When this was perceived by their co-angels in heaven,
the disorderly spirit was removed and cast down; whereupon the idea of
what is eternal instantly returned to them, and they were gladdened in
heart, and most tenderly embraced each other. Besides this, I have heard
two married partners, who at one instant entertained an idea of what is
eternal respecting their marriage, and the next an idea of what is
temporal. This arose from their being internally dissimilar. When they
were in the idea of what is eternal, they were mutually glad; but when
in the idea of what is temporal, they said, "There is no longer any
marriage between us;" and the wife, "I am no longer a wife, but a
concubine;" and the husband, "I am no longer a husband, but an
adulterer;" wherefore while their internal dissimilitude was open to
them, the man left the woman, and the woman the man: afterwards,
however, as each had an idea of what is eternal respecting marriage,
they were consociated with suitable partners. From these instances it
may be clearly seen, that those who are in love truly conjugial have
respect to what is eternal; and if this idea escapes from their inmost
thoughts, they are disunited as to conjugial love, though not at the
same time as to friendship; for friendship dwells in externals, but
conjugial love in internals. The case is similar with marriages on
earth, where married partners who tenderly love each other, think of
what is eternal respecting the marriage-covenant, and not at all of its
termination by death; and if this should enter their thoughts, they are
grieved; nevertheless they are cherished again by hope from the thought
of its continuance after their decease.

[Transcriber's Note: The out-of-order section number which follows is in
the original text, as is the asterisk which does not seem to indicate a

LOVE DEPENDS ON THE HUSBANDS. The reason of this is, because wives are
born loves; and hence it is innate to them to desire to be one with
their husbands and from this thought of their will they continually feed
their love; wherefore to recede from the _conatus_ of uniting themselves
to their husbands, would be to recede from themselves: it is otherwise
with the husbands, who are not born loves, but recipients of that love
from their wives; and on this account, so far as they receive it, so far
the wives enter with their love; but so far as they do not receive it,
so far the wives stand aloof with their love, and wait in expectation.
This is the case with chaste wives; but it is otherwise with the
unchaste. From these considerations it is evident, that conjugial love
resides with the wives, but that their love depends on the husbands.

from what was said in the foregoing article: moreover, wives naturally
desire to be, and to be called wives; this being to them a name of
respect and honor; they therefore love the bonds of marriage. And as
chaste wives desire, not in name only, but in reality, to be wives, and
this is effected by a closer and closer binding with their husbands,
therefore they love the bonds of marriage as establishing the
marriage-covenant, and this so much the more as they are loved again by
their husbands, or what is tantamount, as the men love those bonds.

characteristic distinction of the woman and the man, is very evident
from the body, the face, the tone of voice, the conversation, the
gesture, and the manners of each: from the BODY, in that there is more
hardness in the skin and flesh of men, and more softness in that of
women; from the FACE, in that it is harder, more fixed, harsher, of
darker complexion, also bearded, thus less beautiful in men; whereas in
women it is softer, more yielding, more tender, of fairer complexion,
and thence more beautiful; from the TONE OF VOICE, in that it is deeper
with men, and sweeter with women; from the CONVERSATION in that with men
it is given to licentiousness and daring, but with women it is modest
and pacific; from the GESTURE, in that with men it is stronger and
firmer, whereas with women it is more weak and feeble; from the MANNERS,
in that with men they are more unrestrained, but with women more
elegant. How far from the very cradle the genius of men differs from
that of women, was discovered to me clearly from seeing a number of boys
and girls met together. I saw them at times through a window in the
street of a great city, where more than twenty assembled every day. The
boys, agreeably to the disposition born with them, in their pastimes
were tumultuous, vociferous, apt to fight, to strike, and to throw
stones at each other; whereas the girls sat peaceably at the doors of
the houses, some playing with little children, some dressing dolls or
working on bits of linen, some kissing each other; and to my surprise,
they still looked with satisfaction at the boys whose pastimes were so
different from their own. Hence I could see plainly, that a man by birth
is understanding, and a woman, love; and also the quality of
understanding and of love in their principles; and thereby what would be
the quality of a man's understanding without conjunction with female
love, and afterwards with conjugial love.

PREPARATION FOR RECEPTION. That men have semination and consequent
excitation, and that women have not the latter because they have not the
former, is evident, but that women have a state of preparation for
reception, and thus for conception, I relate from what has been told me;
but what the nature and quality of this state with the women is, I am
not allowed to describe; besides, it is known to them alone: but whether
their love, while they are in that state, is in the enjoyment of its
delight, or in what is undelightful, as some say, they have not made
known. This only is generally known, that it is not allowed the husband
to say to the wife, that he is able and not willing: for thereby the
state of reception is greatly hurt, which is prepared according to the
state of the husband's ability.

one of the arcana which were known to the ancients, and which are now
lost. The ancients knew that everything which was done in the body is
from a spiritual origin: as that from the will, which in itself is
spiritual, actions flow; that from the thought, which also is spiritual,
speech flows; also that natural sight is grounded in spiritual sight,
which is that of the understanding; natural hearing in spiritual
hearing, which is attention of the understanding and at the same time
accommodation of the will; and natural smelling in spiritual smelling,
which is perception; and so forth: in like manner they saw that
semination with men is from a spiritual origin. That it is from the
truths of which the understanding consists, they concluded from several
deductions both of reason and of experience; and they asserted, that
nothing is received by males from the spiritual marriage, which is that
of good and truth, and which flows into everything in the universe, but
truth, and whatever has relation to truth; and that this in its progress
into the body is formed into seed; and that hence it is, that seeds
spiritually understood are truths. As to formation, they asserted, that
the masculine soul, as being intellectual, is thus truth; for the
intellectual principle is nothing else; wherefore while the soul
descends, truth also descends: that this is effected by this
circumstance, that the soul, which is the inmost principle of every man
(_homo_) and every animal, and which in its essence is spiritual, from
an implanted tendency to self-propagation, follows in the descent, and
is desirous to procreate itself; and that when this is the case, the
entire soul forms itself, and clothes itself, and becomes seed: and that
this may be done thousands of times, because the soul is a spiritual
substance, which is not a subject of extension but of impletion, and
from which no part can be taken away, but the whole may be produced,
without any loss thereof: hence it is, that it is as fully present in
the smallest receptacles, which are seeds, as in its greatest
receptacle, the body. Since therefore the principle of truth in the soul
is the origin of seed, it follows, that men have abundant store
according to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom: it is
also according to their love of doing uses; because uses are the goods
which truths produce. In the world also it is well known to some, that
the industrious have abundant store, but not the idle. I inquired, "How
is a feminine principle produced from a male soul?" and I received for
answer, that it was from intellectual good; because this in its essence
is truth: for the intellect can think that this is good, thus that it is
true that it is good. It is otherwise with the will: this does not think
what is good and true, but loves and does it. Therefore in the Word sons
signify truths, and daughters goods, as may be seen above, n. 120; and
seed signifies truth, as may be seen in the APOCALYPSE REVEALED, n. 565.

because with men there is the abundant store above mentioned; and this
varies with them according to the states of their minds and bodies: for
the understanding is not so constant in its thoughts as the will is in
its affections; since it is sometimes carried upwards, sometimes
downwards; at one time it is in a serene and clear state in another in a
turbulent and obscure one; sometimes it is employed on agreeable
objects, sometimes on disagreeable; and as the mind, while it acts, is
also in the body, it follows, that the body has similar states: hence
the husband at times recedes from conjugial love, and at times accedes
to it, and the abundant store is removed in the one state, and restored
in the other. These are the reasons why determination at all times is to
be left to the good pleasure of the husband: hence also it is that
wives, from a wisdom implanted in them, never offer any admonition on
such subjects.

or, what is the same, good and truth, proceed from the Lord, was shewn
above in a chapter on the subject. Those two principles in a marriage
proceed continually from the Lord, because they are himself, and from
him are all things; and the things which proceed from him fill the
universe, for unless this were the case, nothing which exists would
subsist. There are several spheres which proceed from him; the sphere of
the conservation of the created universe; the sphere of the defence of
good and truth against evil and false, the sphere of reformation and
regeneration, the sphere of innocence and peace, the sphere of mercy and
grace, with several others; but the universal of all is the conjugial
sphere, because this also is the sphere of propagation, and thus the
supereminent sphere of the conservation of the created universe by
successive generations. That this conjugial sphere fills the universe,
and pervades all things from first to last, is evident from what has
been shewn above, that there are marriages in the heavens, and the most
perfect in the third or supreme heaven: and that besides taking place
with men it takes place also with all the subjects of the animal kingdom
in the earth, even down to worms; and moreover with all the subjects of
the vegetable kingdom, from olives and palms even to the smallest
grasses. That this sphere is more universal than the sphere of heat and
light, which proceeds from the sun of our world, may appear reasonable
from this consideration, that it operates also in the absence of the
sun's heat, as in winter, and in the absence of its light, as in the
night, especially with men (_homines_). The reason why it so operates
is, because it was from the sun of the angelic heaven, and thence there
is a constant equation of heat and light, that is, a conjunction of good
and truth; for it is in a continual spring. The changes of good and
truth, or of its heat and light, are not variations thereof, like the
variations on earth arising from changes of the heat and light
proceeding from the natural sun; but they arise from the recipient

TRANSFERRED TO THE MALE SEX. There is not any conjugial love
appertaining to the male sex, but it appertains solely to the female
sex, and from this sex is transferred to the male: this I have seen
evidenced by experience; concerning which see above, n. 161. A further
proof of it is supplied from this consideration, that the male form is
the intellectual form, and the female the voluntary; and the
intellectual form cannot grow warm with conjugial heat from itself, but
from the conjunctive heat of some one, in whom it was implanted from
creation; consequently it cannot receive that love except by the
voluntary form of the woman adjoined to itself; because this also is a
form of love. This same position might be further confirmed by the
marriage of good and truth; and, to the natural man, by the marriage of
the heart and lungs; for the heart corresponds to love, and the lungs to
understanding; but as the generality of mankind are deficient in the
knowledge of these subjects, confirmation thereby would tend rather to
obscure than to illustrate. It is in consequence of the transference of
this sphere from the female sex into the male, that the mind is also
inflamed solely from thinking about the sex; that hence also comes
propagative formation and thereby excitation, follows of course; for
unless heat is united to light on earth, nothing flourishes and is
excited to cause fructification there.

those who are in love truly conjugial, is received by the husband only
through the wife, is at this day an arcanum; and yet in itself it is not
an arcanum, because the bridegroom and new-married husband may know
this; is he not affected conjugially by whatever proceeds from the bride
and new-married wife, but not at that time by what proceeds from others
of the sex? The case is the same with those who live together in love
truly conjugial. And since everyone, both man and woman, is encompassed
by his own sphere of life, densely on the breast, and less densely on
the back, it is manifest whence it is that husbands who are very fond of
their wives, turn themselves to them, and in the day-time regard them
with complacency; and on the other hand, why those who do not love their
wives, turn themselves away from them, and in the day-time regard them
with aversion. By the reception of the conjugial sphere by the husband
only through the wife, love truly conjugial is known and distinguished
from that which is spurious, false, and cold.

sphere flowing into the universe is in its origin divine; in its
progress in heaven with the angels it is celestial and spiritual; with
men it is natural, with beasts and birds animal, with worms merely
corporeal, with vegetables it is void of life; and moreover in all its
subjects it is varied according to their forms. Now as this sphere is
received immediately by the female sex, and mediately by the male, and
as it is received according to forms, it follows, that this sphere,
which in its origin is holy, may in the subjects be turned into what is
not holy, yea may be even inverted into what is opposite. The sphere
opposite to it is called meretricious with such women, and adulterous
with such men; and as such men and women are in hell, this sphere is
from thence: but of this sphere there is also much variety, and hence
there are several species of it; and such a species is attracted and
appropriated by a man (_vir_) as is agreeable to him, and as is
conformable and correspondent with his peculiar temper and disposition.
From these considerations it may appear, that the man who does not love
his wife, receives that sphere from some other source than from his
wife; nevertheless it is a fact, that it is also inspired by the wife,
but without the husband's knowing it, and while he grows warm.

heart devote himself to chaste marriage, while the other knows not what
chaste marriage is; one may love the things which are of the church, but
the other those which are of the world alone: as to their minds, one may
be in heaven, the other in hell; hence there may be conjugial love with
the one, and not with the other. The minds of such, since they are
turned in a contrary direction, are inwardly in collision with each
other; and if not outwardly, still, he that is not in conjugial love,
regards his lawful consort as a tiresome old woman; and so in other

between married partners there are similitudes and dissimilitudes, and
that the external appear, but not the internal, except after some time
of living together, to the married partners themselves, and by
indications to others; but it would be useless to mention each so that
they might be known, since several pages might be filled with an account
and description of their varieties. Similitudes may in part be deduced
and concluded from the dissimilitudes on account of which conjugial love
is changed into cold; of which we shall speak in the following chapter.
Similitudes and dissimilitudes in general originate from connate
inclinations, varied by education, connections, and persuasions that
have been imbibed.

DISSIMILITUDES. The varieties of similitudes are very numerous, and
differ more or less from each other; but still those which differ may in
time be conjoined by various things, especially by accommodations to
desires, by mutual offices and civilities, by abstaining from what is
unchaste, by the common love of infants and the care of children, but
particularly by conformity in things relating to the church; for things
relating to the church effect a conjunction of similitudes differing
interiorly, other things only exteriorly. But with dissimilitudes no
conjunction can be effected, because they are antipathetical.

reason of this is, because all marriages of love truly conjugial are
provided by the Lord. That they are from him, may be seen above, n. 130,
131; but in what manner they are provided in heaven, I have heard thus
described by the angels: The divine providence of the Lord extends to
everything, even to the minutest particulars, concerning marriages and
in marriages, because all the delights of heaven spring from the
delights of conjugial love, as sweet waters from the fountain-head; and
on this account it is provided that conjugial pairs be born; and that
they be continually educated to their several marriages under the Lord's
auspices, neither the boy nor the girl knowing anything of the matter;
and after a stated time, when they both become marriageable, they meet
in some place as by chance, and see each other, and in this case they
instantly know, as by a kind of instinct, that they are a pair, and by a
kind of inward dictate think within themselves, the youth, that she is
mine, and the maiden, that he is mine; and when this thought has existed
some time in the mind of each, they accost each other from a deliberate
purpose, and betroth themselves. It is said, as by chance, by instinct,
and by dictate; and the meaning is, by divine providence; since, while
the divine providence is unknown, it has such an appearance; for the
Lord opens internal similitudes, so that they may see themselves.

is, because so far as a man (_homo_) is in conjugial love, so far he is
spiritual, and so far as he is spiritual, so far he is a man (_homo_);
for a man is born to a life after death, and attains the possession
thereof in consequence of having in him a spiritual soul, and is capable
of being elevated thereto by the faculty of his understanding; if in
this case his will, from the faculty also granted to it, is elevated at
the same time, he lives after death the life of heaven. The contrary
comes to pass, if he is in a love opposite to conjugial love; for so far
as he is in this opposite love, so far he is natural; and a merely
natural man is like a beast as to lusts and appetites, and to their
delights; with this difference only, that he has the faculty of
elevating his understanding into the light of wisdom, and also of
elevating his will into the heat of celestial love. These faculties are
never taken away from airy man (_homo_); therefore the merely natural
man, although as to concupiscences and appetites and their delights, he
is like a beast, still lives after death, but in a state corresponding
to his past life. From these considerations it may appear that a man,
according to the deficiency of conjugial love, approaches to the nature
of a beast. This position may seem to be contradicted by the
consideration, that there are a deficiency and loss of conjugial love
with some who yet are men (_homines_); but the position is meant to be
confined to those who make light of conjugial love from a principle of
adulterous love, and who therefore are in such deficiency and loss.

* * * * *

231. To the above I shall add THREE MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. I once
heard loud exclamations, which issued from the hells, with a noise as if
they bubbled up through water: one to the left hand, in these words, "O
HOW JUST!" another to the right, "O HOW LEARNED!" and a third from
behind, "O HOW WISE!" and as I was in doubt whether there are also in
hell persons of justice, learning, and wisdom, I was impressed with a
strong desire of seeing what was the real case; and a voice from heaven
said to me, "You shall see and hear." I therefore in spirit went out of
the house, and saw before me an opening, which I approached; and looked
down; and lo! there was a ladder, by which I descended: and when I was
down, I observed a level country set thick with shrubs, intermixed with
thorns and nettles; and on my asking, whether this was hell, I was told
it was the lower earth next above hell. I then continued my course in a
direction according to the exclamations in order; first to those who
exclaimed, "O HOW JUST!" where I saw a company consisting of such as in
the world had been judges influenced by friendship and gifts; then to
the second exclamation, "O HOW LEARNED!" where I saw a company of such
as in the world had been reasoners; and lastly to the third exclamation,
"O HOW WISE!" where I saw a company such as in the world had been
confirmators. From these I returned to the first, where there were
judges influenced by friendship and gifts, and who were proclaimed
"Just." On one side I saw as it were an amphitheatre built of brick, and
covered with black slates; and I was told that they called it a
tribunal. There were three entrances to it on the north, and three on
the west, but none on the south and east; a proof that their decisions
were not those of justice, but were arbitrary determinations. In the
middle of the amphitheatre there was a fire, into which the servants who
attended threw torches of sulphur and pitch; the light whereof, by its
vibrations on the plastered walls, presented pictured images of birds of
the evening and night; but both the fire and the vibrations of light
thence issuing, together with the forms of the images thereby produced,
were representations that in their decisions they could adorn the matter
of any debate with colored dyes, and give it a form according to their
own interest. In about half an hour I saw some old men and youths in
robes and cloaks, enter the amphitheatre, who, laying aside their caps,
took their seats at the tables, in order to sit in judgement. I heard
and perceived with what cunning and ingenuity, under the impulse of
prejudice in favor of their friends, they warped and inverted judgement
so as to give it an appearance of justice, and this to such a degree,
that they themselves saw what was unjust as just, and on the other hand
what was just as unjust. Such persuasions respecting the points to be
decided upon, appeared from their countenances, and were heard from
their manner of speaking. I then received illustration from heaven, from
which I perceived how far each point was grounded in right or not; and I
saw how industriously they concealed what was unjust, and gave it a
semblance of what was just; and how they selected some particular
statute which favored their own side of the question, and by cunning
reasonings warped the rest to the same side. After judgement was given,
the decrees were conveyed to their clients, friends and favorers, who,
to recompense them for their services, continued to shout, "O HOW JUST,
O HOW JUST!" After this I conversed respecting them with the angels of
heaven, and related to them some of the things I had seen and heard. The
angels said to me, "Such judges appear to others to be endowed with a
most extraordinary acuteness of intellect; when yet they do not at all
see what is just and equitable. If you remove the prejudices of
friendship in favor of particular persons, they sit mute in judgement
like so many statues, and only say, 'I acquiesce, and am entirely of
your opinion on this point.' This happens because all their judgements
are prejudices; and prejudice with partiality influences the case in
question from beginning to end. Hence they see nothing but what is
connected with their friend's interest; and whatever is contrary
thereto, they set aside; or if they pay any attention to it, they
involve it in intricate reasonings, as a spider wraps up its prey in a
web, and make an end of it; hence, unless they follow the web of their
prejudice, they see nothing of what is right. They were examined whether
they were able to see it, and it was discovered that they were not. That
this is the case, will seem wonderful to the inhabitants of your world;
but tell them it is a truth that has been investigated by the angels of
heaven. As they see nothing of what is just, we in heaven regard them
not as men but as monsters, whose heads are constituted of things
relating to friendship, their breasts of those relating to injustice,
their feet of those which relate to confirmation, and the soles of the
feet of those things which relate to justice, which they supplant and
trample under foot, in case they are unfavorable to the interests of
their friend. But of what quality they appear to us from heaven, you
shall presently see; for their end is at hand." And lo! at that instant
the ground was cleft asunder, and the tables fell one upon another, and
they were swallowed up, together with the whole amphitheatre, and were
cast into caverns, and imprisoned. It was then said to me, "Do you wish
to see them where they now are?" And lo! their faces appeared as of
polished steel, their bodies from the neck to the loins as graven images
of stone clothed with leopards' skins, and their feet like snakes: the
law books too, which they had arranged in order on the tables, were
changed into packs of cards: and now, instead of sitting in judgement,
the office appointed to them is to prepare vermilion and mix it up into
a paint, to bedaub the faces of harlots and thereby turn them into

After seeing these things, I was desirous to visit the two other
assemblies, one of which consisted of mere reasoners, and the other of
mere confirmators; and it was said to me, "Stop awhile, and you shall
have attendant angels from the society next above them; by these you
will receive light from the Lord and will see what will surprise you."

232. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. After some time I heard again from
the lower earth voices exclaiming as before, "O HOW LEARNED! O HOW
WISE!" I looked round to see what angels were present; and lo! they were
from the heaven immediately above those who cried out, "O HOW LEARNED!"
and I conversed with them respecting the cry, and they said, "Those
learned ones are such as only reason _whether a thing be so or not_, and
seldom think _that it is so_; therefore, they are like winds which blow
and pass away, like the bark about trees which are without sap, or like
shells about almonds without a kernel, or like the outward rind about
fruit without pulp; for their minds are void of interior judgement, and
are united only with the bodily senses; therefore unless the senses
themselves decide, they can conclude nothing; in a word, they are merely
sensual, and we call them REASONERS. We give them this name, because
they never conclude anything, and make whatever they hear a matter of
argument, and dispute whether it be so, with perpetual contradiction.
They love nothing better than to attack essential truths, and so to pull
them in pieces as to make them a subject of dispute. These are those who
believe themselves learned above the rest of the world." On hearing this
account, I entreated the angels to conduct me to them: so they led me to
a cave, from which there was a flight of steps leading to the earth
below. We descended and followed the shout, "O HOW LEARNED!" and lo!
there were some hundreds standing in one place, beating the ground with
their feet. Being at first surprised at this sight, I inquired the
reason of their standing in that manner and beating the ground with the
soles of their feet, and said, "They may thus by their feet make holes
in the floor." At this the angel smiled and said, "They appear to stand
in this manner, because they never think on any subject that it is so,
but only whether it is so, and dispute about it; and when the thinking
principle proceeds no further than this, they appear only to tread and
trample on a single clod, and not to advance." Upon this I approached
the assembly, and lo! they appeared to me to be good-looking men and
well dressed; but the angels said, "This is their appearance when viewed
in their own light; but if light from heaven flows in, their faces are
changed, and so is their dress;" and so it came to pass: they then
appeared with dark faces, and dressed in black sackcloth; but when this
light was withdrawn, they appeared as before. I presently entered into
conversation with some of them, and said, "I heard the shout of a crowd
about you, '_O how learned!_' may I be allowed therefore to have a
little conversation with you on subjects of the highest learning?" they
replied, "Mention any subject, and we will give you satisfaction." I
then asked, "What must be the nature of that religion by which a man is
saved?" They said, "We will divide this subject into several parts; and
we cannot answer it until we have concluded on its subdivisions. The
first inquiry shall be, Whether religion be anything? the second,
Whether there be such a thing as salvation or not? the third, Whether
one religion be more efficacious than another? the fourth, Whether there
be a heaven and a hell? the fifth, Whether there be eternal life after
death?" besides many more inquiries. Then I desired to know their
opinion concerning the first article of inquiry, Whether religion be
anything? They began to discuss the subject with abundance of arguments,
whether there be any such thing as religion, and whether what is called
religion be anything? I requested them to refer it to the assembly, and
they did so; and the general answer was, that the proposition required
so much investigation that it could not be finished within the evening.
I then asked. "Can you finish it within the year?" and one of them said,
"Not within a hundred years:" so I observed, "In the mean while you are
without religion;" and he replied, "Shall it not be first demonstrated
whether there be such a thing as religion, and whether what is called
religion be anything? if there be such a thing, it must be also for the
wise; if there be no such thing, it must he only for the vulgar. It is
well known that religion is called a bond; but it is asked, for whom? if
it be only for the vulgar, it is not anything in itself; if it be
likewise for the wise, it is something." On hearing these arguments, I
said to them, "There is no character you deserve less than that of being
learned; because all your thoughts are confined to the single inquiry,
whether a thing be, and to canvass each side of the question. Who can
become learned, unless he know something for certain, and progressively
advance into it, as a man in walking progressively advances from step to
step, and thereby successively arrives at wisdom! If you follow any
other rule, you make no approach to truths, but remove them more and
more out of sight. To reason only whether a thing be, is it not like
reasoning about a cap or a shoe, whether they fit or not, before they
are put on? and what must be the consequence of such reasoning, but that
you will not know whether anything exist, yea, whether there be any such
thing as salvation, or eternal life after death; whether one religion be
more efficacious than another, and whether there be a heaven and a hell?
On these subjects you cannot possibly think at all, so long as you halt
at the first step, and beat the sand at setting out, instead of setting
one foot before another and going forward. Take heed to yourselves, lest
your minds, standing thus without in a state of indetermination, should
inwardly harden and become statues of salt, and yourselves friends of
Lot's wife." With these words I took my leave, and they being indignant
threw stones after me; and then they appeared to me like graven images
of stone, without any human reason in them. On my asking the angels
concerning their lot, they said, "Their lot is, that they are cast down
into the deep, into a wilderness, where they are forced to carry
burdens; and in this case, as they are no longer capable of rational
conversation, they give themselves up to idle prattle and talk, and
appear at a distance like asses that are heavily laden."

233. THE THIRD MEMORABLE RELATION. After this one of the angels said,
"Follow me to the place where they exclaim, 'O HOW WISE!' and you shall
see prodigies of men; you shall see faces and bodies, which are the
faces and bodies of a man, and yet they are not men." I said, "Are they
beasts then?" he replied, "They are not beasts, but beast-men; for they
are such as cannot at all see whether truth be truth or not, and yet
they can make whatever they will to be truth. Such persons with us are
called CONFIRMATORS." We followed the vociferation, and came to the
place; and lo! there was a company of men, and around them a crowd, and
in the crowd some of noble blood, who, on hearing that they confirmed
whatever they said, and favored themselves with such manifest consent,
turned, and said, "O HOW WISE!" But the angel said to me, "Let us not go
to them, but call one out of the company." We called him and went aside
with him, and conversed on various subjects; and he confirmed every one
of them, so that they appeared altogether as true; and we asked him,
whether he could also confirm the contrary? he said, "As well as the
former." Then he spoke openly and from the heart, and said, "What is
truth? Is there anything true in the nature of things, but what a man
makes true? Advance any proposition you please, and I will make it to be
true." Hereupon I said, "Make this true; That faith is the all of the
church." This he did so dexterously and cunningly, that the learned who
were standing by admired and applauded him. I afterwards requested him
to make it true, That charity is the all of the church; and he did so:
and afterwards, That charity is nothing of the church: and he dressed up
each side of the question, and adorned it so with appearances, that the
bystanders looked at each other, and said, "Is not this a wise man?" But
I said, "Do not you know that to live well is charity, and that to
believe well is faith? does not he that lives well also believe well?
and consequently, is not faith of charity, and charity of faith? do you
not see that this is true?" He replied, "I will make it true, and will
then see." He did so, and said, "Now I see it;" but presently he made
the contrary to be true, and then said, "I also see that this is true."
At this we smiled and said, "Are they not contraries? how can two
contraries appear true?" To this he replied with indignation, "You are
mistaken; each is true; since truth is nothing but what a man makes
true." There was a certain person standing near, who in the world had
been a legate of the first rank. He was surprised at this assertion, and
said, "I acknowledge that in the world something like this method of
reasoning prevails; but still you are out of your senses. Try if you can
make it to be true, that light is darkness, and darkness light." He
replied, "I will easily do this. What are light and darkness but a state
of the eye? Is not light changed into shade when the eye comes out of
sunshine, and also when it is kept intensely fixed on the sun? Who does
not know, that the state of the eye in such a case is changed, and that
in consequence light appears as shade; and on the other hand, when the
state of the eye is restored, that shade appears as light? Does not
an owl see the darkness of night as the light of day, and the light of
day as the darkness of night, and also the sun itself as an opaque and
dusky globe? If any man had the eyes of an owl, which would he call
light and which darkness? What then is light but the state of the eye?
and if it be a state of the eye, is not light darkness, and darkness
light? therefore each of the propositions is true." Afterwards the
legate asked him to make this true, That a raven is white and not black;
and he replied, "I will do this also with ease;" and he said, "Take a
needle or razor, and lay open the feathers or quills of a raven; are
they not white within? Also remove the feathers and quills, and look at
its skin; is it not white? What is the blackness then which envelops it
but a shade, which ought not to determine the raven's color? That
blackness is merely a shade. I appeal to the skilful in the science of
optics, who will tell you, that if you pound a black stone or glass into
fine powder, you will see that the powder is white." But the legate
replied, "Does not the raven appear black to the sight?" The confirmator
answered, "Will you, who are a man, think in any case from appearance?
you may indeed say from appearance, that a crow is black, but you cannot
think so; as for example, you may speak from the appearance and say that
the sun rises, advances to its meridian altitude, and sets; but, as you
are a man, you cannot think so; because the sun stands unmoved and the
earth only changes its position. The case is the same with the raven;
appearance is appearance; and say what you will, a raven is altogether
and entirely white; it grows white also as it grows old; and this I have
seen." We next requested him to tell us from his heart, whether he was
in joke, or whether he really believed that nothing is true but what a
man makes true? and he replied, "I swear that I believe it." Afterwards
the legate asked him, whether he could make it true that he was out of
his senses; and he said, "I can; but I do not choose: who is not out of
his senses?" When the conversation was thus ended, this universal
confirmator was sent to the angels, to be examined as to his true
quality; and the report they afterwards made was, that he did not
possess even a single grain of understanding; because all that is above
the rational principle was closed in him, and that alone which is below
was open. Above the rational principle is heavenly light, and below it
is natural light; and this light is such that it can confirm whatever it
pleases; but if heavenly light does not flow into natural light, a man
does not see whether any thing true is true, and consequently neither
does he see that any thing false is false. To see in either case is by
virtue of heavenly light in natural light; and heavenly light is from
the God of heaven, who is the Lord; therefore this universal confirmator
is not a man or a beast, but a beast-man. I questioned the angel
concerning the lot of such persons, and whether they can be together
with those who are alive, since every one has life from heavenly light,
and from this light has understanding. He said, that such persons when
they are alone, can neither think nor express their thoughts, but stand
mute like machines, and as in a deep sleep; but that they awake as soon
as any sound strikes their ears: and he added, that those become such,
who are inmostly wicked; into these no heavenly light can flow from
above, but only somewhat spiritual through the world, whence they derive
the faculty of confirming. As he said this, I heard a voice from the
angels who had examined the confirmation, saying to me, "From what you
have now heard form a general conclusion." I accordingly formed the
following: "That intelligence does not consist in being able to confirm
whatever a man pleases, but in being able to see that what is true is
true, and what is false is false." After this I looked towards the
company where the confirmators stood, and where the crowd about them
shouted, "_O how wise!_" and lo! a dusky cloud covered them, and in the
cloud were owls and bats on the wing; and it was said to me, "The owls
and bats flying in the dusky cloud, are correspondences and consequent
appearances of their thoughts; because confirmations of falsities so as
to make them appear like truths, are represented in this world under the
forms of birds of night, whose eyes are inwardly illuminated by a false
light, from which they see objects in the dark as if in the light. By
such a false spiritual light are those influenced who confirm falses
until they seem as truths, and afterwards are said and believed to be
truths: all such see backwards, and not forwards."

* * * * * *


234. In treating here on the causes of coldness in marriages, we shall
treat also at the same time on the causes of separation, and likewise of
divorce, because they are connected; for separations come from no other
source than from coldnesses, which are successively inborn after
marriage, or from causes discovered after marriage, from which also
coldness springs; but divorces come from adulteries; for these are
altogether opposite to marriages; and opposites induce coldness, if not
in both parties, at least in one. This is the reason why the causes of
coldness, separations, and divorces, are brought together into one
chapter. But the coherence of the causes will be more clearly discerned
from viewing them in the following series:--I. _There are spiritual heat
and spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold the
privation thereof._ II. _Spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of
souls and a disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord,
contempt, disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length
comes separation as to bed, chamber, and house._ III. _There are several
successive causes of cold, some internal, some external, and some
accidental._ IV. _Internal causes of cold are from religion._ V. _The
first of these causes is the rejection of religion by each of the
parties._ VI. _The second is, that one has religion and not the other._
VII. _The third is, that one is of one religion and the other of
another._ VIII. _The fourth is the falsity of the religion imbibed._ IX.
_With many, these are causes of internal cold, but not at the same time
of external._ X. _There are also several external causes of cold; the
first of which is dissimilitude of minds and manners._ XI. _The second
is, that conjugial love is believed to be the same as adulterous love,
only that the latter is not allowed by law, but the former is._ XII.
_The third is, a striving for pre-eminence between married partners._
XIII. _The fourth is, a want of determination to any employment or
business, whence comes wandering passion._ XIV. _The fifth is,
inequality of external rank and condition._ XV. _There are also causes
of separation._ XVI. _The first of them is a vitiated state of mind._
XVII. _The second is a vitiated state of body._ XVIII. _The third is
impotence before marriage._ XIX. _Adultery is the cause of divorce._ XX.
_There are also several accidental causes of cold; the first of which
is, that enjoyment is common (or cheap), because continually allowed._
XXI. _The second is that living with a married partner, from a covenant
and compact, seems to be forced and not free._ XXII. _The third is,
affirmation on the part of the wife, and her talking incessantly about
love._ XXIII. _The fourth is, the man's continually thinking that his
wife is willing; and on the other hand, the wife's thinking that the man
is not willing._ XXIV. _As cold is in the mind it is also in the body;
and according to the increase of that cold, the externals also of the
body are closed._ We proceed to an explanation of each article.

from no other source than the sun of the spiritual world; for there is
in that world a sun proceeding from the Lord, who is in the midst of it;
and as it is from the Lord, it is in its essence pure love. This sun
appears fiery before the angels, just as the sun of our world appears
before men. The reason of its appearing fiery is, because love is
spiritual fire. From that sun proceed both heat and light; but as that
sun is pure love, the heat thence derived in its essence is love, and
the light thence derived in its essence is wisdom; hence it is manifest
what is the source of spiritual heat, and that spiritual heat is love.
But we will also briefly explain the source of spiritual cold. It is
from the sun of the natural world, and its heat and light. The sun of
the natural world was created that its heat and light might receive in
them spiritual heat and light, and by means of the atmospheres might
convey spiritual heat and light even to ultimates in the earth, in order
to produce effects of ends, which are of the Lord in his sun, and also
to clothe spiritual principles with suitable garments, that is, with
materials, to operate ultimate ends in nature. These effects are
produced when spiritual heat is joined to natural heat; but the contrary
comes to pass when natural heat is separated from spiritual heat, as is
the case with those who love natural things, and reject spiritual: with
such, spiritual heat becomes cold. The reason why these two loves, which
from creation are in agreement, become thus opposite, is, because in
such case the dominant heat becomes the servant, and _vice versa_; and
to prevent this effect, spiritual heat, which from its lineage is lord,
then recedes; and in those subjects, spiritual heat grows cold, because
it becomes opposite. From these considerations it is manifest that
spiritual cold is the privation of spiritual heat. In what is here said,
by heat is meant love; because that heat living in subjects is felt as
love. I have heard in the spiritual world, that spirits merely natural
grow intensely cold while they apply themselves to the side of some
angel who is in a state of love; and that the case is similar in regard
to the infernal spirits, while heat flows into them out of heaven; and
that nevertheless among themselves, when the heat of heaven is removed
from them, they are inflamed with great heat.

236. II. Spiritual cold in marriages is a disunion of souls and a
disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt,
disdain, and aversion; from which, in several cases, at length comes
separation as to bed, chamber, and house. That these effects take place
with married partners, while their primitive love is on the decline, and
becomes cold, is too well known to need any comment. The reason is,
because conjugial cold above all others resides in human minds; for the
essential conjugial principle is inscribed on the soul, to the end that
a soul may be propagated from a soul, and the soul of the father into
the offspring. Hence it is that this cold originates there, and
successively goes downward into the principles thence derived, and
infects them; and thus changes the joys and delights of the primitive
love into what is sad and undelightful.

SOME EXTERNAL, AND SOME ACCIDENTAL. That there are several causes of
cold in marriages, is known in the world; also that they arise from many
external causes; but it is not known that the origins of the causes lie
concealed in the inmost principles, and that from these they descend
into the principles thence derived, until they appear in externals; in
order therefore that it may be known that external causes are not causes
in themselves, but derived from causes in themselves, which, as was
said, are in inmost principles, we will first distribute the causes
generally into internal and external, and afterwards will particularly
examine them.

of conjugial love resides in the inmost principles of man, that is, in
his soul, is demonstrable to every one from the following considerations
alone; that the soul of the offspring is from the father, which is known
from the similitude of inclinations and affections, and also from the
general character of the countenance derived from the father and
remaining with very remote posterity; also from the propagative faculty
implanted in souls from creation; and moreover by what is analogous
thereto in the subjects of the vegetable kingdom, in that there lies hid
in the inmost principles of germination the propagation of the seed
itself, and thence of the whole, whether it be a tree, a shrub, or a
plant. This propagative or plastic force in seeds in the latter kingdom,
and in souls in the other, is from no other source than the conjugial
sphere, which is that of good and truth, and which perpetually emanates
and flows in from the Lord the Creator and Supporter of the universe;
concerning which sphere, see above, n. 222-225; and from the endeavour
of those two principles, good and truth, therein, to unite into a one.
This conjugial endeavour remains implanted in souls, and conjugial love
exists by derivation from it as its origin. That this same marriage,
from which the above universal sphere is derived, constitutes the church
with man, has been abundantly shewn above in the chapter ON THE MARRIAGE
OF GOOD AND TRUTH, and frequently elsewhere. Hence there is all the
evidence of rational demonstration, that the origin of the church and of
conjugial love are in one place of abode, and in a continual embrace;
but on this subject see further particulars above, n. 130, where it was
proved, that conjugial love is according to the state of the church with
man; thus that it is grounded in religion, because religion constitutes
this state. Man also was created with a capacity of becoming more and
more interior, and thereby of being introduced or elevated nearer and
nearer to that marriage, and thus into love truly conjugial, and this
even so far as to perceive a state of its blessedness. That religion is
the only means of introduction and elevation, appears clearly from what
was said above, namely, that the origin of the church and of conjugial
love are in the same place of abode, and in mutual embrace there, and
that hence they must needs be conjoined.

239. From what has been said above it follows, that where there is no
religion, there is no conjugial love; and that where there is no
conjugial love, there is cold. That conjugial cold is the privation of
that love, maybe seen above, n. 235; consequently that conjugial cold is
also a privation of a state of the church, or of religion. Sufficient
evidence of the truth of this may be deduced from the general ignorance
that now prevails concerning love truly conjugial. In these times, who
knows, and who is willing to acknowledge, and who will not be surprised
to hear, that the origin of conjugial love is deduced hence? But the
only cause and source of this ignorance is, that, notwithstanding there
is religion, still there are not the truths of religion; and what is
religion without truths? That there is a want of the truths of religion,
is fully shown in the APOCALYPSE REVEALED; see also the MEMORABLE
RELATION, n. 566 of that work.

RELIGION BY EACH OF THE PARTIES. Those who reject the holy things of the
church from the face to the hinder part of the head, or from the breast
to the back, have not any good love; if any proceeds apparently from the
body, still there is not any in the spirit. With such persons goods
place themselves on the outside of evils, and cover them, as raiment
glittering with gold covers a putrid body. The evils which reside
within, and are covered, are in general hatreds, and thence intestine
combats against everything spiritual; for all things of the church which
they reject, are in themselves spiritual; and as love truly conjugial is
the fundamental love of all spiritual loves, as was shewn above, it is
evident that interior hatred is contrary to it, and that the interior or
real love with such is in favor or the opposite, which is the love of
adultery; therefore such persons, more than others, will be disposed to
ridicule this truth, that every one has conjugial love according to the
state of the church; yea, they will possibly laugh at the very mention
of love truly conjugial; but be it so; nevertheless they are to be
pardoned, because it is as impossible for them to distinguish in thought
between the marriage embrace and the adulterous, as it is for a camel to
go through the eye of a needle. Such persons, as to conjugial love, are
starved with cold more than others. If they keep to their married
partners, it is only on account of some of the external causes mentioned
above, n. 153, which withhold and bind them. Their interiors of the soul
and thence of the mind are more and more closed, and in the body are
stopped up; and in this case even the love of the sex is thought little
of, or becomes insanely lascivious in the interiors of the body, and
thence in the lowest principles of their thought. It is these who are
meant in the MEMORABLE RELATION, n. 79, which they may read if they

PARTIES HAS RELIGION AND NOT THE OTHER. The reason of this is, because
the souls must of course disagree; for the soul of one is open to the
reception of conjugial love, while the soul of the other is closed to
it. It is closed with the party that has not religion, and it is open
with the one that has; hence such persons cannot live together
harmoniously; and when once conjugial love is banished, there ensues
cold; but this is with the party that has no religion. This cold cannot
be dissipated except by the reception of a religion agreeing with that
of the other party, if it be true; otherwise, with the party that has no
religion, there ensues cold, which descends from the soul into the body,
even to the cuticles; in consequence of which he can no longer look his
married partner directly in the face, or accost her in a communion of
respirations, or speak to her except in a subdued tone of voice, or
touch her with the hand, and scarcely with the back; not to mention the
insanities which, proceeding from that cold, make their way into the
thoughts, which they do not make known; and this is the reason why such
marriages dissolve of themselves. Moreover, it is well known, that an
impious man thinks meanly of a married partner; and all who are without
religion are impious.

is, because with such persons good cannot be conjoined with its
corresponding truth; for as was shewn above, the wife is the good of the
husband's truth, and he is the truth of the wife's good. Hence of two
souls there cannot be made one soul; and hence the stream of that love
is closed: and consequently a conjugial principle is entered upon, which
has a lower place of abode, and which is that of good with another
truth, or of truth with another good than its own, between which there
cannot be any harmonious love: hence with the married partner that is in
a false religion, there commences a cold, which grows more intense in
proportion as he differs from the other party. On a certain time, as I
was wandering through the streets of a great city inquiring for a
lodging, I entered a house inhabited by married partners of a different
religion; being ignorant of this circumstance, the angels instantly
accosted me, and said, "We cannot remain with you in that house; for the
married partners who dwell there differ in religion." This they
perceived from the internal disunion of their souls.

RELIGION. This is, because falsity in spiritual things either takes away
religion or defiles it. It takes it from those with whom genuine truths
are falsified; it defiles it, where there are indeed falsities, but not
genuine truths, which therefore could not be falsified. In the latter
case there may be imputed goods with which those falses may be conjoined
by applications from the Lord; for these falses are like various
discordant tones, which by artful arrangements and combinations are
brought into harmony, and communicate to harmony its agreeableness: in
this case some conjugial love is communicable; but with those who have
falsified with themselves the genuine truths of the church, it is not
communicable. The prevailing ignorance concerning love truly conjugial,
or a negative doubting respecting the possibility of the existence of
such love, is from persons of the latter description; and from the same
source also comes the wild imagination, in the minds of the generality,
that adulteries are not evils in a religious point of view.

NOT AT THE SAME TIME OF EXTERNAL. If the causes above pointed out and
confirmed, which are the causes of internal cold, produced similar
external cold, as many separations would ensue as there are cases of
internal cold, which are as many as there are marriages of those who are
in a false or a different religion, or in no religion; respecting whom
we have already treated; and yet it is well-known, that many such live
together as if they mutually loved and were friendly to each other: but
whence this originates, with those who are in internal cold, will be
shewn in the following chapter CONCERNING THE CAUSES OF APPARENT LOVE,
FRIENDSHIP, AND FAVOR IN MARRIAGES. There are several causes which
conjoin minds (_animos_) but still do not conjoin souls; among these are
some of those mentioned above, n. 183; but still cold lies interiorly
concealed, and makes itself continually observed and felt. With such
married partners the affections depart from each other; but the
thoughts, while they come forth into speech and behaviour, for the sake
of apparent friendship and favor, are present; therefore such persons
know nothing of the pleasantness and delight, and still less of the
satisfaction and blessedness of love truly conjugial, accounting them to
be little else than fables. These are of the number of those who deduce
the origin of conjugial love from the same causes with the nine
companies of wise ones assembled from the several kingdoms of Europe;
concerning whom see the MEMORABLE RELATION above, n. 103-114.

245. It may be urged as an objection to what has been proved above, that
still the soul is propagated from the father although it is not
conjoined to the soul of the mother, yea, although cold residing therein
causes separation; but the reason why souls or offspring are
nevertheless propagated is, because the understanding of the man is not
closed, but is capable of being elevated into the light into which the
soul is; but the love of his will is not elevated into the heat
corresponding to the light there, except by the life, which makes him
from natural become spiritual; hence it is, that the soul is still
procreated, but, in the descent, while it becomes seed, it is veiled
over by such things as belong to his natural love; from this springs
hereditary evil. To these considerations I will add an arcanum from
heaven, namely, that between the disjoined souls of two persons,
especially of married partners, there is effected conjunction in a
middle love; otherwise there would be no conception with men
(_homines_). Besides what is here said of conjugial cold, and its place
of abode in the supreme region of the mind, see the LAST MEMORABLE
RELATION of this chapter, n. 270.

external similitudes and dissimilitudes. The internal arise from no
other source than religion; for religion is implanted in souls, and by
them is transmitted from parents to their offspring as the supreme
inclination; for the soul of every man derives life from the marriage of
good and truth, and from this marriage is the church; and as the church
is various and different in the several parts of the world, therefore
also the souls of all men are various and different; wherefore internal
similitudes and dissimilitudes are from this source, and according to
them the conjugial conjunctions of which we have been treating; but
external similitudes and dissimilitudes are not of the souls but of
minds; by minds (_animos_) we mean the affections and thence the
external inclinations, which are principally insinuated after birth by
education, social intercourse, and consequent habits of life; for it is
usual to say, I have a mind to do this or that; which indicates an
affection and inclination to it. Persuasions conceived respecting this
or that kind of life also form those minds; hence come inclinations to
enter into marriage even with such as are unsuitable, and likewise to
refuse consent to marriage with such as are suitable; but still these
marriages, after a certain time of living together, vary according to
the similitudes and dissimilitudes contracted hereditarily and also by
education; and dissimilitudes induce cold. So likewise dissimilitudes of
manners; as for example, an ill-mannered man or woman, joined with a
well-bred one; a neat man or woman, joined with a slovenly one; a
litigious man or woman, joined with one that is peaceably disposed; in a
word, an immoral man or woman, joined with a moral one. Marriages of
such dissimilitudes are not unlike the conjunctions of different species
of animals with each other, as of sheep and goats, of stags and mules,
of turkeys and geese, of sparrows and the nobler kind of birds, yea, as
of dogs and cats, which from their dissimilitudes do not consociate with
each other, but in the human kind these dissimilitudes are indicated not
by faces, but by habits of life; wherefore external colds are from this

NOT ALLOWED BY LAW, BUT THE FORMER IS. That this is a source of cold, is
obvious to reason, while it is considered that adulterous love is
diametrically opposite to conjugial love; wherefore when it is believed
that conjugial love is the same as adulterous, they both become alike in
idea; and in such case a wife is regarded as a harlot, and marriage as
uncleanness; the man himself also is an adulterer, if not in body, still
in spirit. That hence ensue contempt, disdain, and aversion, between the
man and his woman, and thereby intense cold, is an unavoidable
consequence; for nothing stores up in itself conjugial cold more than
adulterous love; and as adulterous love also passes into such cold, it
may not undeservedly be called essential conjugial cold.

PRE-EMINENCE BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. This is, because conjugial love
principally respects the union of wills, and the freedom of decision
thence arising; both which are ejected from the married state by a
striving for pre-eminence or superiority; for this divides and tears
wills into pieces, and changes the freedom of decision into servitude.
During the influence of such striving, the spirit of one of the parties
meditates violence against the other; if in such case their minds were
laid open and viewed by spiritual sight, they would appear like two
boxers engaged in combat, and regarding each other with hatred and favor
alternately; with hatred while in the vehemence of striving, and with
favor while in the hope of dominion, and while under the influence of
lust. After one has obtained the victory over the other, this contention
is withdrawn from the externals, and betakes itself into the internals
of the mind, and there abides with its restlessness stored up and
concealed. Hence cold ensues both to the subdued party or servant, and
to the victor or dominant party. The reason why the latter also suffers
cold is, because conjugial love no longer exists with them, and the
privation of this love is cold; see n. 235. In the place of conjugial
love succeeds heat derived from pre-eminence; but this heat is utterly
discordant with conjugial heat, yet it can exteriorly resemble it by
means of lust. After a tacit agreement between the parties, it appears
as if conjugial love was made friendship; but the difference between
conjugial and servile friendship in marriages, is like that between
light and shade, between a living fire and an _ignis fatuus_, yea, like
that between a well-conditioned man and one consisting only of bone and

PASSION. Man (_homo_) was created for use, because use is the continent
of good and truth, from the marriage of which proceeds creation, and
also conjugial love, as was shewn above. By employment and business we
mean every application to uses; while therefore a man is in any
employment and business, or in any use, in such case his mind is limited
and circumscribed as in a circle, within which it is successively
arranged into a form truly human, from which as from a house he sees
various concupiscences out of himself, and by sound reason within
exterminates them; consequently also he exterminates the wild insanities
of adulterous lust; hence it is that conjugial heat remains better and
longer with such than with others. The reverse happens with those who
give themselves up to sloth and ease; in such case the mind is unlimited
and undetermined, and hence the man (_homo_) admits into the whole of it
everything vain and ludicrous which flows in from the world and the
body, and leads to the love thereof; that in this case conjugial love
also is driven into banishment, is evident; for in consequence of sloth
and ease the mind grows stupid and the body torpid, and the whole man
becomes insensible to every vital love, especially to conjugial love,
from which as from a fountain issue the activities and alacrities of
life. Conjugial cold with such is different from what it is with others;
it is indeed the privation of conjugial love, but arising from defect.

EXTERNAL RANK AND CONDITION. There are several inequalities of rank and
condition, which while parties are living together put an end to the
conjugial love which commenced before marriage; but they may all be
referred to inequalities as to age, station, and wealth. That unequal
ages induce cold in marriage, as in the case of a lad with an old woman,
and of a young girl with a decrepit old man, needs no proof. That
inequality of station has a similar effect, as in the marriage of a
prince with a servant maid, or of an illustrious matron with a servant
man, is also acknowledged without further proof. That the case is the
same in regard to wealth, unless a similitude of minds and manners, and
an application of one party to the inclinations and native desires of
the other, consociate them, is evident. But in all such cases, the
compliance of one party on account of the pre-eminence of station and
condition of the other, effects only a servile and frigid conjunction;
for the conjugial principle is not of the spirit and heart, but only
nominal and of the countenance; in consequence of which the inferior
party is given to boasting, and the superior blushes with shame. But in
the heavens there is no inequality of age, station, or wealth; in regard
to age, all there are in the flower of their youth, and continue so into
eternity; in regard to station, they all respect others according to the
uses which they perform. The more eminent in condition respect inferiors
as brethren, neither do they prefer station to the excellence of use,
but the excellence of use to station; also when maidens are given in
marriage, they do not know from what ancestors they are descended; for
no one in heaven knows his earthly father, but the Lord is the Father of
all. The case is the same in regard to wealth, which in heaven is the
faculty of growing wise, according to which a sufficiency of wealth is
given. How marriages are there entered into, may be seen above, n. 229.

251. XV. THERE ARE ALSO CAUSES OF SEPARATION. There are separations from
the bed and also from the house. There are several causes of such
separations; but we are here treating of legitimate causes. As the
causes of separation coincide with the causes of concubinage, which are
treated of in the latter part of this work in their own chapter, the
reader is referred thereto that he may see the causes in their order.
The legitimate causes of separation are the following.

OF MIND. The reason of this is, because conjugial love is a conjunction
of minds; if therefore the mind of one of the parties takes a direction
different from that of the other, such conjunction is dissolved, and
with the conjunction the love vanishes. The states of vitiation of the
mind which cause separation, may appear from an enumeration of them;
they are for the most part, the following: madness, frenzy, furious
wildness, actual foolishness and idiocy, loss of memory, violent
hysterics, extreme silliness so as to admit of no perception of good and
truth, excessive stubbornness in refusing to obey what is just and
equitable; excessive pleasure in talkativeness and conversing only on
insignificant and trifling subjects; an unbridled desire to publish
family secrets, also to quarrel, to strike, to take revenge, to do evil,
to steal, to tell lies, to deceive, to blaspheme; carelessness about the
children, intemperance, luxury, excessive prodigality, drunkenness,
uncleanness, immodesty, application to magic and witchcraft, impiety,
with several other causes. By legitimate causes we do not here mean
judicial causes, but such as are legitimate in regard to the other
married partner; separation from the house also is seldom ordained in a
court of justice.

OF BODY. By vitiated states of body we do not mean accidental diseases,
which happen to either of the married partners during their marriage,
and from which they recover; but we mean inherent diseases, which are
permanent. The science of pathology teaches what these are. They are
manifold, such as diseases whereby the whole body is so far infected
that the contagion may prove fatal; of this nature are malignant and
pestilential fevers, leprosies, the venereal disease, gangrenes,
cancers, and the like; also diseases whereby the whole body is so far
weighed down, as to admit of no consociability, and from which exhale
dangerous effluvia and noxious vapors, whether from the surface of the
body, or from its inward parts, in particular from the stomach and
lungs; from the surface of the body proceed malignant pocks, warts,
pustules, scorbutic phthisic, virulent scab, especially if the face be
defiled thereby: from the stomach proceed foul, stinking, rank and crude
eructations: from the lungs, filthy and putrid exhalations, arising from
imposthumes, ulcers, abcesses, or from vitiated blood or lymph therein.
Besides these there are also various other diseases, as lipothamia,
which is a total faintness of body and defect of strength; paralysis,
which is a loosing and relaxation of the membranes and ligaments which
serve for motion; certain chronic diseases, arising from a loss of the
sensibility and elasticity of the nerves, or from too great a thickness;
tenacity, and acrimony of the humors; epilepsy; fixed weakness arising
from apoplexy; certain phthisical complaints, whereby the body is
wasted; the cholic, caeliac affection, rupture, and other like diseases.

MARRIAGE. The reason why this is a cause of separation is, because the
end of marriage is the procreation of children, which cannot take place
where this cause of separation operates; and as this is foreknown by the
parties, they are deliberately deprived of the hope of it, which hope
nevertheless nourishes and strengthens their conjugial love.

255. XIX. ADULTERY IS THE CAUSE OF DIVORCE. There are several reasons
for this, which are discernible in rational light, and yet at this day
they are concealed. From rational light it may be seen that marriages
are holy and adulteries profane; and thus that marriages and adulteries
are diametrically opposite to each other; and that when opposites act
upon each other, one destroys the other even to the last spark of its
life. This is the case with conjugial love, when a married person
commits adultery from a confirmed principle, and thus from a deliberate
purpose. With those who know anything of heaven and hell, these things
are more clearly discernible by the light of reason: for they know that
marriages are in and from heaven, and that adulteries are in and from
hell, and that these two cannot be conjoined, as heaven cannot be
conjoined with hell, and that instantly, if they are conjoined with man
(_homo_), heaven recedes, and hell enters. Hence then it is, that
adultery is the cause of divorce; wherefore the Lord saith, that
"_whosoever shall put away his wife, except for whoredom, and shall
marry another, committeth adultery_," Matt. xix. 9. He saith, if, except
for whoredom, he shall put away his wife, and marry another, he
committeth adultery; because putting away for this cause is a plenary
separation of minds, which is called divorce; whereas other kinds of
putting away, grounded in their particular causes are separations, of
which we have just treated; after these, if another wife is married,
adultery is committed; but not so after a divorce.

ALLOWED. The reason why this consideration is an accidental cause of
cold is, because it exists with those who think lasciviously respecting
marriage and a wife, but not with those who think holily respecting
marriage, and securely respecting a wife. That from being common (or
cheap) in consequence of being continually allowed, even joys become
indifferent, and also tiresome, is evident from the case of pastimes and
public shows, musical entertainments, dancing, feasting, and the like,
which in themselves are agreeable, because vivifying. The case is the
same with the intimacy and connection between married partners,
especially between those who have not removed the unchaste love of the
sex from the love which they bear to each other; and when they think of
enjoyment's being common (or cheap) in consequence of being continually
allowed, they think vainly in the absence of the faculty of enjoyment.
That this consideration is to such persons a cause of cold is
self-evident. It is called accidental, because it joins inward cold as a
cause, and ranks on its side as a reason. To remove the cold arising
from this circumstance, it is usual with wives, from the prudence
implanted in them, to offer resistance to what is allowable. But the
case is altogether otherwise with those who think chastely respecting
wives; wherefore with the angels the consideration of enjoyment's being
common in consequence of being continually allowed, is the very delight
of their souls, and contains their conjugial love; for they are
continually in the delight of that love, and in its ultimates according
to the presence of their minds uninterrupted by cares, thus from the
decisions of the judgement of the husbands.

FREE. This cause operates only with those with whom conjugial love in
the inmost principles is cold; and since it unites with internal cold,
it becomes an additional or accidental cause. With such persons,
extra-conjugial love, arising from consent and the favor thereof, is
interiorly in heat; for the cold of the one is the heat of the other;
which, if it is not sensibly felt, is still within, yea, in the midst of
cold; and unless it was thus also within, there would be no reparation.
This heat is what constitutes the force or compulsion, which is
increased in proportion as, by one of the parties, the covenant grounded
in agreement and the contract grounded in what is just, are regarded as
bonds not to be violated; it is otherwise if those bonds are loosed by
each of the parties. The case is reversed with those who have rejected
extra-conjugial love as detestable, and think of conjugial love as of
what is heavenly and heaven; and the more so if they perceive it to be
so: with such that covenant with its articles of agreement, and that
contract with its sanctions, are inscribed on their hearts, and are
continually being inscribed thereon more and more. In this case the bond
of that love is neither secured by a covenant agreed upon, nor by a law
enacted; but both covenant and law are from creation implanted in the
love itself, which influences the parties; from the latter (namely, the
covenant and the law implanted from creation in the love itself) are
derived the former (namely, the covenant and law) in the world, but not
_vice versa_. Hence, whatever relates to that love is felt as free;
neither is there any freedom but what is of love: and I have heard from
the angels, that love truly conjugial is most free, because it is the
love of loves.

angels in heaven there is no refusal and repugnance on the part of the
wives, as there is with some wives on earth: with the angels in heaven
also the wives converse about love, and are not silent as some wives on
earth; but the causes of these differences I am not allowed to declare,
because it would be unbecoming; nevertheless they are declared in four
MEMORABLE RELATIONS at the close of the chapters, by the angels' wives,
who freely speak of them to their husbands, by the three in the hall
over which there was a golden shower, and by the seven who were sitting
in a rosary. These memorable relations are adduced, to the end that
every thing may be explained that relates to conjugial love, which is
the subject here treated of both in general and in particular.

circumstance is a cause of love's ceasing with wives, and the former a
cause of cold with men, is too obvious to need any comment. For that the
man who thinks that his wife, when in his sight by day, and when lying
at his side by night, is desirous or willing, should grow cold to the
extremities, and on the other hand that the wife, who thinks that the
man is able and not willing, should lose her love, are circumstances
among many others well known to husbands who have considered the arcana
relating to conjugial love. These circumstances are adduced also, to the
end that this work may be perfected, and THE CONJUGIAL LOVE AND ITS
CHASTE DELIGHTS may be completed.

It is believed at the present day that the mind of man (_homo_) is in
the head, and nothing of it in the body, when yet the soul and the mind
are both in the head and in the body; for the soul and the mind are the
man (_homo_), since both constitute the spirit which lives after death;
and that this spirit is in a perfect human form, has been fully shewn in
the treatises we have published. Hence, as soon as a man thinks
anything, he can in an instant utter it by means of his bodily mouth,
and at the same time represent it by gesture; and as soon as he wills
anything, he can in an instant bring it into act and effect by his
bodily members: which could not be the case unless the soul and the mind
were together in the body, and constituted his spiritual man. From these
considerations it may be seen, that while conjugial love is in the mind,
it is similar to itself in the body; and since love is heat, that it
opens the externals of the body from the interiors; but on the other
hand, that the privation thereof, which is cold, closes the externals of
the body from the interiors: hence it is manifest what is the cause of
the faculty (of conjugial love) with the angels enduring for ever, and
what is the cause of its failing with men who are cold.

* * * * *

261. To the above I shall add THREE MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. In the
superior northern quarter near the east in the spiritual world, there
are places of instruction for boys, for youths, for men, and also for
old men: into these places all who die infants are sent and are educated
in heaven; so also all who arrive fresh from the world, and desire
information about heaven and hell, are sent to the same places. This
tract is near the east, that all may be instructed by influx from the
Lord; for the Lord is the east, because he is in the sun there, which
from him is pure love; hence the heat from that sun in its essence is
love, and the light from it in its essence is wisdom. These are inspired
into them from the Lord out of that sun; and they are inspired according
to reception, and reception is according to the love of growing wise.
After periods of instruction, those who are made intelligent are sent
forth thence, and are called disciples of the Lord. They are sent forth
first into the west, and those who do not remain there, into the south,
and some through the south into the east, and are introduced into the
societies where they are to reside. On a time, while I was meditating
respecting heaven and hell, I began to desire a universal knowledge of
the state of each, being aware, that whoever knows universals, may
afterwards comprehend particulars, because the latter are contained in
the former, as parts in a whole. In this desire I looked to the above
tract in the northern quarter near the east, where were the places of
instruction, and went there by a way then open to me. I entered one of
the colleges, where there were some young men, and addressed the chief
teachers there who gave instruction, and asked them whether they were
acquainted with the universals respecting heaven and hell. They replied,
that they knew some little; "but if we look," said they, "towards the
east to the Lord, we shall receive illustration and knowledge." They did
so, and said, "There are three universals of hell, which are
diametrically opposite to the universals of heaven. The universals of
hell are these three loves; the love of dominion grounded in self-love,
the love of possessing the goods of others grounded in the love of the
world, and adulterous love. The universals of heaven opposite to these
are the three following loves; the love of dominion grounded in the love
of use, the love of possessing worldly goods grounded in the love of
performing uses therewith, and love truly conjugial." Hereupon, after
expressing my good wishes towards them, I took my leave, and returned
home. When I was come home, it was said to me from heaven, "Examine
those three universals above and beneath, and afterwards we shall see
them in your hand." It was said _in the hand_, because whatever a man
examines intellectually, appears to the angels as if inscribed on his

262. After this I examined the first universal love of hell, which is
the love of dominion grounded in self-love, and afterwards the universal
love of heaven corresponding to it, which is the love of dominion
grounded in the love of uses; for I was not allowed to examine one love
without the other, because, being opposites, the understanding does not
perceive the one without the other; wherefore that each may be
perceived, they must be set in opposition to each other; for a beautiful
and handsome face is rendered conspicuous by contrasting it with an ugly
and deformed one. While I was considering the love of dominion grounded
in self-love, I perceived that this love was in the highest degree
infernal, and consequently prevailed with those who are in the deepest
hell; and that the love of dominion grounded in the love of uses was in
the highest degree heavenly, and consequently prevailed with those who
are in the highest heaven. The love of dominion grounded in self-love is
in the highest degree infernal, because to exercise dominion from
self-love, is to exercise it from _proprium_, and a man's _proprium_
from his birth is essential evil, which is diametrically opposite to the
Lord; wherefore the more persons who are under the influence of such
evil, advance therein, the more they deny God and the holy things of the
church, and worship themselves and nature. Let such persons, I entreat
them, examine that evil in themselves, and they will see this to be the
case. This love also is of such a nature, that in proportion as it is
left unrestrained, which is the case so long as it is not checked by
impossibilities, in the same proportion it rushes impetuously from step
to step, even to the highest, and there also finds no bounds, but is sad
and sorrowful because there is no higher step for it to ascend. This
love with statesmen is so intense that they wish to be kings and
emperors, and if it were possible, to have dominion over all things of
the world, and to be called kings of kings and emperors of emperors;
while the same love with the clergy is so intense that they wish to be
gods and, as far as is possible, to have dominion over all things of
heaven, and to be called gods of gods. That neither of these acknowledge
any God, will be seen in what follows. On the other hand, those who
desire to exercise dominion from the love of uses, do not desire it from
themselves, but from the Lord; since the love of uses is from the Lord,
and is the Lord himself: these regard dignities only as means to the
performance of uses, setting uses far above dignities; whereas the
former set dignities far above uses.

263. While I was meditating on these things, an angel from the Lord said
to me, "You shall presently see, and be convinced by ocular
demonstration, what is the nature and quality of that infernal love."
Then suddenly the earth opened on the left, and I saw a devil ascending
from hell, with a square cap on his head let down over his forehead even
to his eyes: his face was full of pimples as of a burning fever, his
eyes fierce and firy, his breast swelling immensely; from his mouth he
belched smoke like a furnace, his loins seemed all in a blaze, instead
of feet he had bony ankles without flesh, and from his body exhaled a
stinking and filthy heat. On seeing him I was alarmed, and cried out,
"Approach no nearer; tell me, whence are you?" He replied in a hoarse
tone of voice, "I am from below, where I am with two hundred in the most
supereminent of all societies. We are all emperors of emperors, king of
kings, dukes of dukes, and princes of princes; no one in our society is
barely an emperor, a king, a duke, or a prince. We sit there on thrones
of thrones, and despatch thence mandates through the whole world and
beyond it." I then said to him, "Do you not see that you are insane from
the phantasy of super-eminence?" and he replied, "How can you say so,
when we absolutely seem to ourselves, and are also acknowledged by each
other, to have such distinction?" On hearing this, I was unwilling to
repeat my charge of insanity, as he was insane from phantasy; and I was
informed that this devil, during his abode in the world, had been only a
house-steward, and at that time he was so lifted up in spirit, that he
despised all mankind in comparison with himself, and indulged in the
phantasy that he was more worthy than a king, and even than an emperor;
in consequence of which proud conceit, he had denied God, and had
regarded all the holy things of the church as of no concern to himself,
but of some to the stupid multitude. At length I asked him, "How long do
you two hundred thus glory among yourselves?" He replied "to eternity;
but such of us as torture others for denying our super-eminence, sink
under ground; for we are allowed to glory, but not to do mischief to any
one." I asked him again, "Do you know what befalls those who sink under
ground?" He said, "They sink down into a certain prison, where they are
called viler than the vile, or the vilest, and are set to work." I then
said to him. "Take heed therefore, lest you also should sink down."

264. After this the earth again opened, but now on the right; and I saw
another devil rising thence, who had on his head a kind of turban,
wrapped about with spires as of a snake, the head of which stood out
from the crown; his face was leprous from the forehead to the chin, and
so were his hands; his loins were naked and as black as soot, through
which was discernible in dusky transparence the fire as of a furnace;
and the ankles of his feet were like two vipers. The former devil, on
seeing him, fell on his knees, and adored him. On my asking why he did
so, he said, "He is the God of heaven and earth, and is omnipotent." I
then asked the other, "What do you say to this?" he replied, "What shall
I say? I have all power over heaven and hell; the lot of all souls is in
my hand." Again I enquired, "How can he, who is emperor of emperors, so
submit himself, and how can you receive adoration?" he answered, "He is
still my servant; what is an emperor before God? the thunder of
excommunication is in my right hand." I then said to him, "How can you
be so insane? In the world you were only a canon; and because you were
infected with the phantasy that you also had the keys of heaven, and
thence the power of binding and loosing, you have inflamed your spirit
to such a degree of madness, that you now believe yourself to be very
God." Upon this he swore with indignation that it was so, and said, "The
Lord has not any power in heaven, because he has transferred it all to
us. We have only to give the word of command, and heaven and hell
reverently obey us. If we send any one to hell, the devils immediately
receive him; and so do the angels receive those whom we send to heaven."
I asked further, "How many are there in your society?" he said, "Three
hundred; and we are all gods there; but I am god of gods." After this
the earth opened beneath the feet of each, and they sank down into their
respective hells; and I saw that beneath their hells were workhouses,
into which those who injure others would fall; for every one in hell is
left to his phantasy, and is also permitted to glory in it; but he is
not allowed to injure another. The reason why such are there, is,
because a man is then in his spirit; and the spirit, after it is
separated from the body, comes into the full liberty of acting according
to its affections and consequent thoughts. I was afterwards permitted to
look into their hells: that which contained the emperors of emperors and
kings of kings, was full of all uncleanness; and the inhabitants
appeared like various kinds of wild beasts, with fierce eyes; and so it
was in the other, which contained the gods and the god of gods: in it
there appeared the direful birds of night, which are called _ochim_ and
_ijim_, flying about them. The images of their phantasies were presented
to me under this appearance. From these circumstances it was manifest,
what is the nature and quality of political and ecclesiastical
self-love; that the latter would make its votaries desirous of being
gods, while the former would make them desirous of being emperors; and
that under the influence of such loves men wish and strive to attain the
objects of their desires, so far as they are left without restraint.

265. Afterwards a hell was opened, where I saw two men, one sitting on a
bench, holding his feet in a basket full of serpents which seemed to be
creeping upwards by his breast even to his neck; and the other sitting
on a blazing ass, at whose sides red serpents were creeping, raising
their heads and necks, and pursuing the rider. I was told that they had
been popes who had compelled emperors to resign their dominions, and had
ill-treated them both in word and deed at Rome, whither they went to
supplicate and adore them; and that the basket in which were the
serpents, and the blazing ass with snakes at his sides, were
representations of their love of dominion grounded on self-love, and
that such appearances are seen only by those who look at them from a
distance. There were some canons present, whom I asked whether those had
really been popes? They said, that they were acquainted with them, and
knew that they had been such.

266. After beholding these sad and hideous spectacles, I looked around,
and saw two angels in conversation standing near me. One wore a woollen
robe that shone bright with flaming purple, and under it a vest of fine
bright linen; the other had on similar garments of scarlet, together
with a turban studded on the right side with carbuncles. I approached
them, and, greeting them with a salutation of peace, respectfully asked
them, "For what purpose are you here below?" They replied, "We have let
ourselves down from heaven by the Lord's command, to speak with you
respecting the blessed lot of those who are desirous to have dominion
from the love of uses. We are worshipers of the Lord. I am prince of a
society; my companion is chief priest of the same." The prince moreover
said, "I am the servant of my society, because I serve it by doing
uses:" the other said, "I am minister of the church there, because in
serving them I minister holy things to the uses of their souls. We both
are in perpetual joys grounded in the eternal happiness which is in them
from the Lord. All things in our society are splendid and magnificent;
they are splendid from gold and precious stones, and magnificent from
palaces and paradises. The reason of this is, because our love of
dominion is not grounded in self-love, but in the love of uses: and as
the love of uses is from the Lord, therefore all good uses in the
heavens are splendid and refulgent; and as all in our society are in
this love, therefore the atmosphere appears golden from the light which
partakes of the sun's flame-principle, and the sun's flame-principle
corresponds to that love." As they said this, they appeared to me to be
encompassed with such a sphere, from which an aromatic odor issued that
was perceivable by the senses. I mentioned this circumstance to them,
and intreated them to continue their discourse respecting the love of
uses; and they proceeded thus: "The dignities which we enjoy, we indeed
sought after and solicited for no other end than that we might be
enabled more fully to perform uses, and to extend them more widely. We
are also encompassed with honor, and we accept it, not for ourselves,
but for the good of the society; for the brethren and consociates, who
form the commonalty of the society, scarcely know but that the honors of
our dignities are in ourselves, and consequently that the uses which we
perform are from ourselves; but we feel otherwise, being sensible that
the honors of the dignities are out of ourselves, and that they are as
the garments with which we are clothed; but that the uses which we
perform, from the love of them, are within us from the Lord: and this
love receives its blessedness from communication by uses with others;
and we know from experience, that so far as we do uses from the love
thereof, so far that love increases, and with it wisdom, whereby
communication is effected; but so far as we retain uses in ourselves,
and do not communicate them, so far blessedness perishes: and in such
case use becomes like food stored up in the stomach, which, not being
dispersed, affords no nourishment to the body and its parts, but remains
undigested, and thereby causes loathing: in a word, the whole heaven is
nothing but a continent of use, from first principles to last. What is
use but the actual love of our neighbor? and what holds the heavens
together with this love?" On hearing this I asked, "How can any one know
whether he performs uses from self-love, or from the love of uses? every
man, both good and bad, performs uses, and that from some love. Suppose
that in the world there be a society composed of mere devils, and
another composed of mere angels; I am of opinion that the devils in
their society, from the fire of self-love, and the splendor of their own
glory, would do as many uses as the angels in their society; who then
can know from what love, and from what origin uses flow?" To this the
two angels replied, "Devils do uses for the sake of themselves and of
reputation, that they may be raised to honors or may gain wealth; but
angels do not do uses from such motives, but for the sake of uses from
the love thereof. A man cannot discern the true quality of those uses;
but the Lord discerns it. Every one who believes in the Lord, and shuns
evils as sins, performs uses from the Lord; but every one who neither
believes in the Lord, nor shuns evils as sins, does uses from self and
for the sake of self. This is the difference between the uses done by
devils and those done by angels." Having said this, the two angels
departed; and I saw them from afar carried in a firy chariot like Elias,
and conveyed into their respective heavens.

267. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. Not long after this interview with
the angels, I entered a certain grove, and while I was walking there, I
meditated on those who are in the concupiscence and consequent phantasy
of possessing the things of the world; and then at some distance from me
I saw two angels in conversation, and by turns looking at me; I
therefore went nearer to them, and as I approached they thus accosted
me: "We have perceived in ourselves that you are meditating on what we
are conversing about, or that we are conversing on what you are
meditating about, which is a consequence of the reciprocal communication
of affections." I asked therefore what they were conversing about? they
replied, "About phantasy, concupiscence, and intelligence; and just now
about those who delight themselves in the vision and imagination of
possessing whatever the world contains." I then entreated them to favor
me with their sentiments on those three subjects,--concupiscence,
phantasy, and intelligence. They began by saying, "Every one is by birth
interiorly in concupiscence, but by education exteriorly in
intelligence; and no one is in intelligence, still less in wisdom,
interiorly, thus as to his spirit, but from the Lord: for every one is
withheld from the concupiscence of evil, and held in intelligence,
according as he looks to the Lord, and is at the same time in
conjunction with him; without this, a man is mere concupiscence; yet
still in externals, or as to the body, he is in intelligence arising
from education; for a man lusts after honors and wealth, or eminence and
opulence, and in order to attain them, it is necessary that he appear
moral and spiritual, thus intelligent and wise; and he learns so to
appear from infancy. This the reason why, as soon as he comes among men,
or into company, he inverts his spirit, and removes it from
concupiscence, and speaks and acts from the fair and honorable maxims
which he has learnt from infancy, and retains in the bodily memory: and
he is particularly cautious, lest anything of the wild concupiscence
prevalent in his spirit should discover itself. Hence every man who is
not interiorly led by the Lord, is a pretender, a sycophant, a
hypocrite, and thereby an apparent man, and yet not a man; of whom it
may be said, that his shell or body is wise, and his kernel or spirit
insane; also that his external is human, and his internal bestial. Such
persons, with the hinder part of the head look upwards, and with the
fore part downwards; thus they walk as if oppressed with heaviness, with
the head hanging down and the countenance prone to the earth; and when
they put off the body, and become spirits, and are thereby set at
liberty from external restraints, they become the madnesses of their
respective concupiscences. Those who are in self-love desire to domineer
over the universe, yea, to extend its limits in order to enlarge their
dominion, of which they see no end: those who are in the love of the
world desire to possess whatever the world contains, and are full of
grief and envy in case any of its treasures are hid and concealed from
them by others: therefore to prevent such persons from becoming mere
concupiscences, and thereby no longer men, they are permitted in the
spiritual world to think from a fear of the loss of reputation, and
thereby of honor and gain, and also from a fear of the law and its
penalties, and also to give their mind to some study or work whereby
they are kept in externals and thus in a state of intelligence, however
wild and insane they may be interiorly." After this I asked them,
whether all who are in any concupiscence, are also in the phantasy
thereof; they replied, that those are in the phantasy of their
respective concupiscences, who think interiorly in themselves, and too
much indulge their imagination by talking with themselves; for these
almost separate their spirit from connection with the body, and by
vision overflow the understanding, and take a foolish delight as if they
were possessed of the universe and all that it contains: into this
delirium every man comes after death, who has abstracted his spirit from
the body, and has not wished to recede from the delight of the delirium
by thinking at all religiously respecting evils and falses, and least of
all respecting the inordinate love of self as being destructive of love
to the Lord, and respecting the inordinate love of the world, as being
destructive of neighborly love.

268. After this the two angels and also myself were seized with a desire
of seeing those who from worldly love are in the visionary concupiscence
or phantasy of possessing all wealth; and we perceived that we were
inspired with this desire to the end that such visionaries might be
known. Their dwellings were under the earth of our feet, but above hell:
we therefore looked at each other and said, "Let us go." There was an
opening, and in it a ladder by which we descended; and we were told that
we must approach them from the east, lest we should enter into the mist
of their phantasy, whereby our understanding and at the same time our
sight would be obscured; and lo! there appeared a house built of reeds,
and consequently full of chinks, standing in a mist, which continually
issued like smoke through the chinks of three of the walls. We entered,
and saw perhaps fifty here and fifty there sitting on benches, with
their faces turned from the east and south, and looking towards the west
and north. Before each person there was a table, on which were large
purses, and by the purses a great quantity of gold coin: so we asked
them, "Is that the wealth of all the persons in the world?" they
replied, "Not of all in the world, but of all in the kingdom." The sound
of their voice was hissing; and they had round faces, which glistened
like the shell of a snail, and the pupils of their eyes in a green plane
as it were shot forth lightning, which was an effect of the light of
phantasy. We stood in the midst of them, and said, "You believe that you
possess all the wealth of the kingdom;" they replied, "We do possess
it." We then asked, "Which of you?" they said, "Every one;" and we
asked, "How every one? there are many of you:" they said, "Every one of
us knows that all which another has is his own. No one is allowed to
think, and still less to say, 'Mine are not thine;' but every one may
think and say, 'Thine are mine.'" The coin on the tables appeared, even
to us, to be pure gold; but when we let in light from the east, we saw
that they were little grains of gold, which they had magnified to such a
degree by a union of their common phantasy. They said, that every one
that enters ought to bring with him some gold, which they cut into small
pieces, and these again into little grains, and by the unanimous force
of their phantasy they increase them into larger coin. We then said,
"Were you not born men of reason; whence then have you this visionary
infatuation?" they said, "We know that it is an imaginary vanity; but as
it delights the interiors of our minds, we enter here and are delighted
as with the possession of all things: we continue in this place,
however, only a few hours, at the end of which we depart; and as often
as we do so we again become of sound mind; yet still our visionary
delight alternately succeeds and occasions our alternate entrance into
and departure from these habitations: thus we are alternately wise and
foolish; we also know that a hard lot awaits those who by cunning rob
others of their goods." We inquired, "What lot?" they said, "They are
swallowed up and are thrust naked into some infernal prison, where they
are kept to hard labor for clothes and food, and afterwards for some
pieces of coin of trifling value, which they collect, and in which they
place the joy of their hearts; but if they do any harm to their
companions, they are fined a part of their coin."

269. Afterwards we ascended from these hells to the south, where we had
been before, and the angels related there several interesting
particulars respecting concupiscence not visionary or phantastic, in
which all men are born; namely, that while they are in it, they are like
persons infatuated, and yet seem to themselves to be most eminently
wise; and that from this infatuation they are alternately let into the
rational principle which is in their externals; in which state they see,
acknowledge, and confess their insanity; but still they are very
desirous to quit their rational and enter their insane state; and also
do let themselves into it, as into a free and delightful state
succeeding a forced and undelightful one; thus it is concupiscence and
not intelligence that interiorly pleases them. There are three universal
loves which form the constituent principles of every man by creation:
neighbourly love, which also is the love of doing uses; the love of the
world, which also is the love of possessing wealth; and the love of
self, which also is the love of bearing rule over others. Neighbourly
love, or the love of doing uses, is a spiritual love; but the love of
the world, or the love of possessing wealth, is a material love; whereas
the love of self, or the love of bearing rule over others, is a
corporeal love. A man is a man while neighbourly love, or the love of
doing uses, constitutes the head, the love of the world the body, and
the love of self the feet; whereas if the love of the world constitutes
the head, the man is as it were hunched-backed; but when the love of
self constitutes the head, he is like a man standing not on his feet,
but on the palms of his hands with his head downwards and his haunches
upwards. When neighbourly love constitutes the head, and the two other
loves in order constitute the body and feet, the man appears from heaven
of an angelic countenance, with a beautiful rainbow about his head;
whereas if the love of the world constitutes the head, he appears from
heaven of a pale countenance like a corpse, with a yellow circle about
his head; but if the love of self constitutes the head, he appears from
heaven of a dusky countenance, with a white circle about his head.
Hereupon I asked, "What do the circles about the head represent?" they
replied, "They represent intelligence; the white circle about the head
of the dusky countenance represents, that his intelligence is in
externals, or about him, but insanity is in his internals, or in him. A
man also who is of such a quality and character, is wise while in the
body, but insane while in the spirit; and no man is wise in spirit but
from the Lord, as is the case when he is regenerated and created again
or anew by him." As they said this, the earth opened to the left, and
through the opening I saw a devil rising with a white lucid circle
around his head, and I asked him, Who he was? He said, "I am Lucifer,
the son of the morning: and because I made myself like the Most High, I
was cast down." Nevertheless he was not Lucifer, but believed himself to
be so. I then said, "Since you were cast down, how can you rise again
out of hell?" he replied, "There I am a devil, but here I am an angel of
light: do you not see that my head is surrounded by a lucid sphere? you
shall also see, if you wish, that I am super-moral among the moral,
super-rational among the rational, yea, super-spiritual among the
spiritual: I can also preach; yea, I have preached." I asked him, "What
have you preached?" he said, "Against fraudulent dealers and adulterers,
and against all infernal loves; on this occasion too I, Lucifer, called
myself a devil, and denounced vengeance against myself as a devil; and
therefore I was extolled to the skies with praises. Hence it is that I
am called the son of the morning; and, what I myself was surprised at,
while I was in the pulpit, I thought no other than that I was speaking
rightly and properly; but I discovered that this arose from my being in
externals, which at that time were separated from my internals: but
although I discovered this, still I could not change myself, because
through my haughtiness I did not look to God." I next asked him, "How
could you so speak, when you are yourself a fraudulent dealer, an
adulterer, and a devil?" He answered, "I am one character when I am in
externals or in the body, and another when in internals or in the
spirit; in the body I am an angel, but in the spirit a devil; for in the
body I am in the understanding, but in the spirit I am in the will; and
the understanding carries me upwards, whereas the will carries me
downwards. When I am in the understanding my head is surrounded by a
white belt, but when the understanding submits itself entirely to the
will, and becomes subservient to it, which is our last lot, the belt
grows black and disappears; and when this is the case, we cannot again
ascend into this light." Afterwards he spoke of his twofold state, the
external and the internal, more rationally than any other person; but on
a sudden when he saw the angels attendant on me, his face and voice were
inflamed, and he became black, even as to the belt round his head, and
he sunk down into hell through the opening from which he arose. The
bystanders, from what they had seen, came to this conclusion, that a man
is such as his love, and not such as his understanding is; since the
love easily draws over the understanding to its side, and enslaves it. I
then asked the angels, "Whence have devils such rationality?" They said,
"It is from the glory of self-love; for self-love is surrounded by
glory, and glory elevates the understanding even into the light of
heaven; for with every man the understanding is capable of being
elevated according to knowledges, but the will only by a life according
to the truths of the church and of reason: hence even atheists, who are
in the glory of reputation arising from self-love, and thence in a high
conceit of their own intelligence, enjoy a more sublime rationality than
many others; this, however, is only when they are in the thought of the
understanding, and not when they are in the affection of the will. The
affection of the will possesses a man's internal, whereas the thought of
the understanding possesses his external." The angel further declared
the reason why every man is constituted of the three loves above
mentioned; namely, the love of use, the love of the world, and the love
of self; which is, that he may think from God, although as from himself.
He also said, that the supreme principles in a man are turned upwards to
God, the middle outwards to the world, and the lowest downwards to self;
and since the latter are turned downwards, a man thinks as from himself,
when yet it is from God.

270. THE THIRD MEMORABLE RELATION. One morning on awaking from sleep my
thoughts were deeply engaged on some arcana of conjugial love, and at
length on this, "_In what region of the human mind does love truly
conjugial reside, and thence in what region does conjugial cold
reside_?" I knew that there are three regions of the human mind, one
above the other, and that in the lowest region dwells natural love; in
the superior, spiritual love; and in the supreme, celestial love; and
that in each region there is a marriage of good and truth; and good is
of love, and truth is of wisdom; that in each region there is a marriage
of love and wisdom; and that this marriage is the same as the marriage
of the will and the understanding, since the will is the receptacle of
love, and the understanding the receptacle of wisdom. While I was thus
deeply engaged in thought, lo! I saw two swans flying towards the north,
and presently two birds of paradise flying towards the south, and also
two turtle doves flying in the east: as I was watching their flight, I
saw that the two swans bent their course from the north to the east, and
the two birds of paradise from the south, also that they united with the
two doves in the east, and flew together to a certain lofty palace
there, about which there were olives, palms, and beeches. The palace had
three rows of windows, one above the other; and while I was making my
observations, I saw the swans fly into the palace through open windows
in the lowest row, the birds of paradise through others in the middle
row, and the doves through others in the highest. When I had observed
this, an angel presented himself, and said, "Do you understand what you
have seen?" I replied, "In a small degree." He said, "That palace
represents the habitations of conjugial love, such as are in human
minds. Its highest part, into which the doves flew, represents the
highest region of the mind, where conjugial love dwells in the love of
good with its wisdom; the middle part, into which the birds of paradise
flew, represents the middle region, where conjugial love dwells in the
love of truth with its intelligence: and the lowest part, into which the
swans flew, represents the lowest region of the mind, where conjugial
love dwells in the love of what is just and right with its knowledge.
The three pairs of birds also signify these things; the pair of turtle
doves signifies conjugial love of the highest region, the pair of birds
of paradise conjugial love of the middle region, and the pair of swans
conjugial love of the lowest region. Similar things are signified by the
three kinds of trees about the palace, the olives, palms, and beeches.
We in heaven call the highest region of the mind celestial, the middle
spiritual, and the lowest natural; and we perceive them as stories in a
house, one above another, and an ascent from one to the other by steps
as by stairs; and in each part as it were two apartments, one for love,
the other for wisdom, and in front as it were a chamber, where love with
its wisdom, or good with its truth, or, what is the same, the will with
its understanding, consociate in bed. In that palace are presented as in
an image all the arcana of conjugial love." On hearing this, being
inflamed with a desire of seeing it, I asked whether anyone was
permitted to enter and see it, as it was a representative palace? He
replied, "None but those who are in the third heaven, because to them
every representative of love and wisdom becomes real: from them I have
heard what I have related to you, and also this particular, that love
truly conjugial dwells in the highest region in the midst of mutual
love, in the marriage-chamber or apartment of the will, and also in the
midst of the perceptions of wisdom in the marriage-chamber or apartment
of the understanding, and that they consociate in bed in the chamber
which is in front, in the east." I also asked, "Why are there two
marriage-chambers?" He said, "The husband is in the marriage-chamber of
the understanding, and the wife in that of the will." I then asked,
"Since conjugial love dwells there, where then does conjugial cold
dwell?" He replied, "It dwells also in the supreme region, but only in
the marriage-chamber of the understanding, that of the will being closed
there: for the understanding with its truths, as often as it pleases,
can ascend by a winding staircase into the highest region into its
marriage-chamber; but if the will with the good of its love does not
ascend at the same time into the consociate marriage-chamber, the latter
is closed, and cold ensues in the other: this is _conjugial cold_. The
understanding, while such cold prevails towards the wife, looks
downwards to the lowest region, and also, if not prevented by fear,
descends to warm itself there at an illicit fire." Having thus spoken,
he was about to recount further particulars respecting conjugial love
from its images in that palace; but he said, "Enough at this time;
inquire first whether what has been already said is above the level of
ordinary understandings; if it is, what need of saying more? but if not,
more will be discovered."

* * * * *


271. Having treated of the causes of cold and separation, it follows
from order that the causes of apparent love, friendship, and favor in
marriages, should also be treated of; for it is well known, that
although cold separates the minds (_animos_) of married partners at the
present day, still they live together, and have children; which would
not be the case, unless there were also apparent loves, alternately
similar to or emulous of the warmth of genuine love. That these
appearances are necessary and useful, and that without them there would
be no houses, and consequently no societies, will be seen in what
follows. Moreover, some conscientious persons may be distressed with the
idea, that the disagreement of mind subsisting between them and their
married partners, and the internal alienation thence arising, may be
their own fault, and may be imputed to them as such, and on this account
they are grieved at the heart; but as it is out of their power to
prevent internal disagreements, it is enough for them, by apparent love
and favor, from conscientious motives to subdue the inconveniences which
might arise: hence also friendship may possibly return, in which
conjugial love lies concealed on the part of such, although not on the
part of the other. But this subject, like the foregoing, from the great
variety of its matter, shall be treated of in the following distinct
articles: I. _In the natural world almost all are capable of being
joined together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if
these disagree and are apparent._ II. _In the spiritual world all are
joined together according to internal, but not according to external
affections, unless these act in unity with the internal._ III. _It is
the external affections, according to which matrimony is generally
contracted in the world._ IV. _But in case they are not influenced by
internal affections, which conjoin minds, the bonds of matrimony are
loosed in the house._ V. _Nevertheless those bonds must continue in the
world till the decease of one of the parties._ VI. _In cases of
matrimony, in which the internal affections do not conjoin, there are
external affections, which assume a semblance of the internal and tend
to consociate._ VII. _Hence come apparent love, friendship, and favor
between married partners._ VIII. _These appearances are assumed
conjugial semblances, and they are commendable, because useful and
necessary._ IX. _These assumed conjugial semblances, in the case of a
spiritual man (homo) conjoined to a natural, are founded in justice and
judgement._ X. _For various reasons these assumed conjugial semblances
with natural men are founded in prudence._ XI. _They are for the sake of
amendment and accommodation._ XII. _They are for the sake of preserving
order in domestic affairs, and for the sake of mutual aid._ XIII. _They
are for the sake of unanimity in the care of infants and the education
of children._ XIV. _They are for the sake of peace in the house._ XV.
_They are for the sake of reputation out of the house._ XVI. _They are
for the sake of various favors expected from the married partner, or
from his or her relations; and thus from the fear of losing such
favors._ XVII. _They are for the sake of having blemishes excused, and
thereby of avoiding disgrace._ XVIII. _They are for the sake of
reconciliation._ XIX. _In case favor does not cease with the wife, when
faculty ceases with the man, there may exist a friendship resembling
conjugial friendship, when the parties grow old._ XX. _There are various
kinds of apparent love and friendship between married partners, one of
whom is brought under the yoke, and therefore is subject to the other._
XXI. _In the world there are infernal marriages between persons who
interiorly are the most inveterate enemies, and exteriorly are as the
closest friends._ We proceed to an explanation of each article.

DISAGREE AND ARE APPARENT. The reason of this is, because in the world
every one is clothed with a material body, and this is overcharged with
lusts, which are in it as dregs that fall to the bottom, when the must
of the wine is clarified. Such are the constituent substances of which
the bodies of men in the world are composed. Hence it is that the
internal affections, which are of the mind, do not appear; and in many
cases, scarce a grain of them transpires; for the body either absorbs
them, and involves them in its dregs, or by simulation which has been
learned from infancy conceals them deeply from the sight of others; and
by these means the man puts himself into the state of every affection
which he observes in another, and allures his affection to himself, and
thus they unite. The reason why they unite is, because every affection
has its delight, and delights tie minds together. But it would be
otherwise if the internal affections, like the external, appeared
visibly in the face and gesture, and were made manifest to the hearing
by the tone of the speech; or if their delights were sensible to the
nostrils or smell, as they are in the spiritual world: in such case, if
they disagreed so as to be discordant, they would separate minds from
each other, and according to the perception of antipathy, the minds
would remove to a distance. From these considerations it is evident,
that in the natural world almost all are capable of being joined
together as to external, but not as to internal affections, if these
disagree and are apparent.

THE INTERNAL. This is, because in the spiritual world the material body
is rejected, which could receive and bring forth the forms of all
affections, as we have said just above; and a man (_homo_) when stripped
of that body is in his internal affections, which his body had before
concealed: hence it is, that in the spiritual world similarities and
dissimilarities, or sympathies and antipathies, are not only felt, but
also appear in the face, the speech, and the gesture; wherefore in that
world similitudes are conjoined, and dissimilitudes separated. This is
the reason why the universal heaven is arranged by the Lord according to
all the varieties of the affections of the love of good and truth, and,
on the contrary, hell according to all the varieties of the love of what
is evil and false. As angels and spirits, like men in the world, have
internal and external affections, and as, in the spiritual world, the
internal affections cannot be concealed by the external, they therefore
transpire and manifest themselves: hence with angels and spirits both
the internal and external affections are reduced to similitude and
correspondence; after which their internal affections are, by the
external, imaged in their faces, and perceived in the tone of their
speech; they also appear in their behaviour and manners. Angels and
spirits have internal and external affections, because they have minds
and bodies; and affections with the thoughts thence derived belong to
the mind, and sensations with the pleasures thence derived to the body.
It frequently happens in the world of spirits, that friends meet after
death, and recollect their friendships in the former world, and on such
occasions believe that they shall live on terms of friendship as
formerly; but when their consociation, which is only of the external
affections, is perceived in heaven, a separation ensues according to
their internal; and in this case some are removed from the place of
their meeting into the north, some into the west, and each to such a
distance from the other, that they can no longer see or know each other;
for in the places appointed for them to remain at, their faces are
changed so as to become the image of their internal affections. From
these considerations it is manifest, that in the spiritual world all are
conjoined according to internal affections, and not according to
external, unless these act in unity with the internal.

GENERALLY CONTRACTED IN THE WORLD. The reason of this is, because the
internal affections are seldom consulted; and even if they are, still
their similitude is not seen in the woman; for she, by a peculiar
property with which she is gifted from her birth, withdraws the internal
affections into the inner recesses of her mind. There are various
external affections which induce men to engage in matrimony. The first
affection of this age is an increase of property by wealth, as well with

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