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The Delights of Wisdom Pertaining to Conjugial Love by Emanuel Swedenborg

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end that he may be a subject into which God may introduce all good, and,
by union with himself, may make him eternally blessed. We have perceived
from your conversation, that wisdom at this day is so far extinguished
or infatuated, that nothing at all is known concerning the relative
state of the life of men and of beasts; and hence it is that the state
of the life of man after death is not known: but those who are capable
of knowing this, and yet are not willing, and in consequence deny it, as
many Christians do, may fitly be compared to such as are found in
forests: not that they are rendered so stupid from a want of
instruction, but that they have rendered themselves so by the fallacies
of the senses, which are the darkness of truths."

153.* At that instant a certain person standing in the middle of the
Palladium, and holding in his hand a palm, said, "Explain, I pray, this
arcanum, How a man, created a form of God, could be changed into a form
of the devil. I know that the angels of heaven are forms of God and that
the angels of hell are forms of the devil, and that the two forms are
opposite to each other, the latter being insanities, the former wisdoms.
Tell me, therefore, how a man, created a form of God, could pass from
day into such night, as to be capable of denying God and life eternal."
To this the several teachers replied in order; first the Pythagoreans,
next the Socratics, and afterwards the rest: but among them there was a
certain Platonist, who spoke last; and his opinion prevailed, which was
to this effect; That the men of the saturnine or golden age knew and
acknowledged that they were forms receptive of life from God; and that
on this account wisdom was inscribed on their souls and hearts, and
hence they saw truth from the light of truth, and by truths perceived
good from the delight of the love thereof: but as mankind in the
following ages receded from the acknowledgement that all the truth of
wisdom and the consequent good of love belonging to them, continually
flowed in from God, they ceased to be habitations of God; and then also
discourse with God, and consociation with angels ceased: for the
interiors of their minds were bent from their direction, which had been
elevated upwards to God from God, into a direction more and more
oblique, outwardly into the world, and thereby to God from God through
the world, and at length inverted into an opposite direction, which is
downwards to self; and as God cannot be looked at by a man interiorly
inverted, and thereby averted, men separated themselves from God, and
were made forms of hell or devils. From these considerations it follows,
that in the first ages they acknowledged in heart and soul, that all the
good of love and the consequent true wisdom, were derived to them from
God, and also that they were God's in them: and thus that they were mere
recipients of life from God, and hence were called images of God, sons
of God, and born of God: but that in succeeding ages they did not
acknowledge this in heart and soul, but by a certain persuasive faith,
next by an historical faith, and lastly only with the mouth; and this
last kind of acknowledgement is no acknowledgement at all; yea, it is in
fact a denial at heart. From these considerations it may be seen what is
the quality of the wisdom which prevails at this day on the earth among
Christians, while they do not know the distinction between a man and a
beast, notwithstanding their being in possession of a written
revelation, whereby they may be inspired by God: and hence many believe,
that in case a man lives after death, a beast must live also; or because
a beast is not to live after death, neither will a man. Is not our
spiritual light, which enlightens the sight of the mind, become thick
darkness with them? and is not their natural light, which only
enlightens the bodily sight, become brightness to them?

154.* After this they all turned towards the two strangers, and thanked
them for their visit, and for the relation they had given, and entreated
them to go and communicate to their brethren what they had heard. The
strangers replied that they would endeavor to confirm their brethren in
this truth, that so far as they ascribe all the good of charity and the
truth of faith to the Lord, and not to themselves, so far they are men,
and so far they become angels of heaven.

155.* THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. One morning I was awoke by some
delightful singing which I heard at a height above me, and in
consequence, during the first watch, which is internal, pacific, and
sweet, more than the succeeding part of the day, I was in a capacity of
being kept for some time in the spirit as it were out of the body, and
of attending carefully to the affection which was sung. The singing of
heaven is an affection of the mind, sent forth through the mouth as a
tune: for the tone of the voice in speaking, separate from the discourse
of the speaking, and grounded in the affection of love, is what gives
life to the speech. In that state I perceived that it was the affection
of the delights of conjugial love, which was made musical by wives in
heaven: that this was the case, I observed from the sound of the song,
in which those delights were varied in a wonderful manner. After this I
arose, and looked into the spiritual world; and lo! in the east, beneath
the sun, there appeared as it were a GOLDEN SHOWER. It was the morning
dew descending in great abundance, which, catching the sun's rays,
exhibited to my eyes the appearance of a golden shower. In consequence
of this I became fully awake, and went forth in the spirit, and asked an
angel who then happened to meet me, whether he saw a golden shower
descending from the sun? He replied, that he saw one whenever he was
meditating on conjugial love; and at the same time turning his eyes
towards the sun, he added, "That shower falls over a hall, in which are
three husbands with their wives, who dwell in the midst of an eastern
paradise. Such a shower is seen falling from the sun over that hall,
because with those husbands and wives there resides wisdom respecting
conjugial love and its delights; with the husbands respecting conjugial
love, and with the wives respecting its delights. But I perceive that
you are engaged in meditating on the delights of conjugial love: I will
therefore conduct you there, and introduce you to them." He led me
through paradisiacal scenery to houses built of olive wood, having two
cedar columns before the gate, and introduced me to the husbands, and
asked their permission for me to converse with them in the presence of
the wives. They consented, and called their wives. These looked into my
eyes most shrewdly; upon which I asked them, "Why do you do so?" They
said, "We can thereby discover exquisitely what is your inclination and
consequent affection, and your thought grounded in affection, respecting
the love of the sex; and we see that you are meditating intensely, but
still chastely, concerning it." And they added, "What do you wish us to
tell you on the subject?" I replied, "Tell me, I pray, something
respecting the delights of conjugial love." The husbands assented,
saying, "If you are so disposed, give them some information in regard to
those delights: their ears are chaste." They asked me, "Who taught you
to question us respecting the delights of that love? Why did you not
question our husbands?" I replied, "This angel, who accompanies me,
informed me, that wives are the recipients and sensories of those
delights, because they are born loves; and all delights are of love." To
this they replied with a smile, "Be prudent, and declare nothing of this
sort except ambiguously; because it is a wisdom deeply seated in the
hearts of our sex, and is not discovered to any husband, unless he be
principled in love truly conjugial. There are several reasons for this,
which we keep entirely to ourselves." Then the husbands said, "Our wives
know all the states of our minds, none of which are hid from them: they
see, perceive, and are sensible of whatever proceeds from our will. We,
on the other hand, know nothing of what passes with our wives. This
faculty is given to wives, because they are most tender loves, and as it
were burning zeals for the preservation of friendship and conjugial
confidence, and thereby of all the happiness of life, which they
carefully attend to, both in regard to their husbands and themselves, by
virtue of a wisdom implanted in their love, which is so full of
prudence, that they are unwilling to say, and consequently cannot say,
that they love, but that they are loved." I asked the wives, "Why are
you unwilling, and consequently cannot say so?" They replied, "If the
least hint of the kind were to escape from the mouth of a wife, the
husband would be seized with coolness, which would entirely separate him
from all communication with his wife, so that he could not even bear to
look upon her; but this is the case only with those husbands who do not
hold marriages to be holy, and therefore do not love their wives from
spiritual love: it is otherwise with those who do. In the minds of the
latter this love is spiritual, and by derivation thence in the body is
natural. We in this hall are principled in the latter love by derivation
from the former; therefore we trust our husbands with our secrets
respecting our delights of conjugial love." Then I courteously asked
them to disclose to me some of those secrets: they then looked towards a
window on the southern quarter, and lo! there appeared a white dove,
whose wings shone as if they were of silver, and its head was crested
with a crown as of gold: it stood upon a bough, from which there went
forth an olive; and while it was in the attempt to spread out its wings,
the wives said, "We will communicate something: the appearing of that
dove is a token that we may. Every man (_vir_)" they continued, "has
five senses, seeing, hearing, smelling, taste, and touch; but we have
likewise a sixth, which is the sense of all the delights of the
conjugial love of the husband; and this sense we have in the palms of
our hands, while we touch the breasts, arms, hands, or cheeks, of our
husbands, especially their breasts; and also while we are touched by
them. All the gladness and pleasantness of the thoughts of their minds
(_mentium_), all the joys and delights of their minds (_animarum_) and
all the festive and cheerful principles of their bosoms, pass from them
to us, and become perceptible, sensible, and tangible: we discern them
as exquisitely and distinctly as the ear does the tune of a song, and
the tongue the taste of dainties; in a word, the spiritual delights of
our husbands put on with us a kind of natural embodiment; therefore they
call us the sensory organs of chaste conjugial love, and thence its
delights. But this sixth sense of ours exists, subsists, persists, and
is exalted in the degree in which our husbands love us from wisdom and
judgement, and in which we in our turn love them from the same
principles in them. This sense in our sex is called in the heavens the
sport of wisdom with its love, and of love with its wisdom." From this
information I became desirous of asking further questions concerning the
variety of their delights. They said, "It is infinite; but we are
unwilling and therefore unable to say more; for the dove at our window,
with the olive branch under his feet, is flown away." I waited for its
return, but in vain. In the meantime I asked the husbands, "Have you a
like sense of conjugial love?" They replied, "We have a like sense in
general, but not in particular. We enjoy a general blessedness, delight,
and pleasantness, arising from the particulars of our wives; and this
general principle, which we derive from them, is serenely peaceful." As
they said this, lo! through the window there appeared a swan standing on
a branch of a fig-tree, which spread out his wings and flew away. On
seeing this, the husbands said, "This is a sign for us to be silent
respecting conjugial love: come again some other time, and perhaps you
may hear more." They then withdrew, and we took our leave.

* * * * *


156.* That at creation there was implanted in the man and the woman an
inclination and also a faculty of conjunction as into a one, and that
this inclination and this faculty are still in man and woman, is evident
from the book of creation, and at the same time from the Lord's words.
In the book of creation, called GENESIS, it is written, "_Jehovah God
builded the rib, which he had taken from the man, into a woman, and
brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones,
and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken
out of man; for this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh_," chap. ii.
22-24. The Lord also says in Matthew, "_Have ye not read, that he that
made them from the beginning, made them a male and a female, and said,
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to
LONGER TWO, BUT ONE FLESH_," chap. xix. 4-6. From this it is evident,
that the woman was created out of the man (_vir_), and that each has an
inclination and faculty to reunite themselves into a one. That such
reunion means into one man (_homo_), is also evident from the book of
creation, where both together are called man (_homo_); for it is
written, "_In the day that God created man (homo), he created them a
male and a female, and called their name Man (homo)_," chap. v. 2. It is
there written, he called their name Adam; but Adam and man are one
expression in the Hebrew tongue: moreover, both together are called man
in the same book, chap. i. 27; chap. iii. 22-24. One flesh also
signifies one man; as is evident from the passages in the Word where
mention is made of all flesh, which signifies every man, as Gen. chap.
vi. 12, 13, 17, 19; Isaiah xl. 5, 6; chap. xlix. 26; chap. lxvi. 16, 23,
24; Jer. xxv. 31; chap, xxxii. 27; chap. xlv. 5; Ezek. xx. 48; chap.
xxi. 4, 5; and other passages. But what is meant by the man's rib, which
was builded into a woman; what by the flesh, which was closed up in the
place thereof, and thus what by bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh;
and what by a father and a mother, whom a man (_vir_) shall leave after
marriage; and what by cleaving to a wife, has been shewn in the ARCANA
COELESTIA; in which work the two books, Genesis and Exodus, are
explained as to the spiritual sense. It is there proved that a rib does
not mean a rib,--nor flesh, flesh,--nor a bone, a bone,--nor cleaving
to, cleaving to; but that they signify spiritual things, which
correspond thereto, and consequently are signified thereby. That
spiritual things are understood, which from two make one man (_homo_),
is evident from this consideration, that conjugial love conjoins them,
and this love is spiritual. That the love of the man's wisdom is
transferred into the wife, has been occasionally observed above, and
will be more fully proved in the following sections: at this time it is
not allowable to digress from the subject proposed, which is concerning
the conjunction of two married partners into one flesh by a union of
souls and minds. This union we will elucidate by treating of it in the
following order. I. _From creation there is implanted in each sex a
faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be
conjoined together as it were into a one._ II. _Conjugial love conjoins
two souls, and thence two minds into a one._ III. _The will of the wife
conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the
understanding of the man conjoins itself with the will of the wife._ IV.
_The inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual
with the wife; but is inconstant and alternate with the man._ V.
_Conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her
love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom._ VI. _This
conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage;
and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, is effected
more and more thoroughly to eternity._ VII. _The conjunction of the wife
with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but
with this moral wisdom from without._ VIII. _For the sake of this
conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of
the husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them._ IX.
_Wives conceal this perception with themselves, and hide it from their
husbands, for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love,
friendship, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling
together, and the happiness of life may he secured._ X. _This perception
is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither
is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife._ XI. _The
wife, from a principle of love, is continually thinking about the man's
inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself: it is
otherwise with the man._ XII. _The wife conjoins herself to the man, by
applications to the desires of his will._ XIII. _The wife is conjoined
to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him._
XIV. _The wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the
powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their
mutual spiritual love._ XV. _Thus the wife receives in herself the image
of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of, his
affections._ XVI. _There are duties proper to the husband, and others
proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to
the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as
to perform them aright._ XVII. _These duties, also, according to mutual
aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time constitute one
house._ XVIII. _Married partners, according to these conjunctions,
become one man (homo) more and more._ XIX. _Those who are principled in
love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, and as
it were one flesh._ XX. _Love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is
a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavor towards
conjunction in the bosoms and thence in the body._ XXI. _The states of
this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full
confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do very good to
each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness,
satisfaction, delight, and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of
these is derived heavenly felicity._ XXII. _These things can only exist
in the marriage of one man with one wife._ We proceed now to the
explanation of these articles.

IT WERE INTO A ONE. That the woman was taken out of the man, was shewn
just above from the book of creation; hence it follows, that there is in
each sex a faculty and inclination to join themselves together into a
one; for that which is taken out of anything, derives and retains its
constituent principle, from the principle proper to the thing whence it
was taken; and as this derived principle is of a similar nature with
that from which it was derived, it seeks after a reunion; and when it is
reunited, it is as in itself when it is in that from whence it came, and
_vice versa_. That there is a faculty of conjunction of the one sex with
the other, or that they are capable of being united, is universally
allowed; and also that there is an inclination to join themselves the
one with the other; for experience supplies sufficient confirmation in
both cases.

ONE. Every man consists of a soul, a mind, and a body. The soul is his
inmost, the mind his middle, and the body his ultimate constituent. As
the soul is a man's inmost principle, it is, from its origin, celestial;
as the mind is his middle principle, it is, from its origin, spiritual;
and as the body is his ultimate principle, it is, from its origin,
natural. Those things, which, from their origin, are celestial and
spiritual, are not in space, but in the appearance of space. This also
is well known in the word; therefore it is said, that neither extension
nor place can be predicated of spiritual things. Since therefore spaces
are appearances, distances also and presences are appearances. That the
appearances of distances and presences in the spiritual world are
according to proximities, relationships, and affinities of love, has
been frequently pointed out and confirmed in small treatises respecting
that world. These observations are made, in order that it may be known
that the souls and minds of men are not in space like their bodies;
because the former, as was said above, from their origin, are celestial
and spiritual; and as they are not in space, they may be joined together
as into a one, although their bodies at the same time are not so joined.
This is the case especially with married partners, who love each other
intimately: but as the woman is from the man, and this conjunction is a
species of reunion, it may be seen from reason, that it is not a
conjunction into a one, but an adjunction, close and near according to
the love, and approaching to contact with those who are principled in
love truly conjugial. This adjunction may be called spiritual dwelling
together; which takes place with married partners who love each other
tenderly, however distant their bodies may be from each other. Many
experimental proofs exist, even in the natural world, in confirmation of
these observations. Hence it is evident, that conjugial love conjoins
two souls and minds into a one.

WIFE. The reason of this is, because the male is born to become
understanding, and the female to become will, loving the understanding
of the male; from which consideration it follows, that conjugial
conjunction is that of the will of the wife with the understanding of
the man, and the reciprocal conjunction of the understanding of the man
with the will of the wife. Every one sees that the conjunction of the
understanding and the will is of the most intimate kind; and that it is
such, that the one faculty can enter into the other, and be delighted
from and in the conjunction.

reason of this is, because love cannot do otherwise than love and unite
itself, in order that it may be loved in return, this being its very
essence and life; and women are born loves; whereas men, with whom they
unite themselves in order that they may be loved in return, are
receptions. Moreover love is continually efficient; being like heat,
flame, and fire, which perish if their efficiency is checked. Hence the
inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with
the wife: but a similar inclination does not operate with the man
towards the wife, because the man is not love, but only a recipient of
love; and as a state of reception is absent or present according to
intruding cares, and to the varying presence or absence of heat in the
mind, as derived from various causes, and also according to the increase
and decrease of the bodily powers, which do not return regularly and at
stated periods, it follows, that the inclination to conjunction is
inconstant and alternate with men.

and consequent conjunction is inspired into the man by the wife, is at
this day concealed from the men; yea, it is universally denied by them;
because wives insinuate that the men alone love, and that they
themselves receive; or that the men are loves, and themselves
obediences: they rejoice also in heart when the men believe it to be so.
There are several reasons why they endeavour to persuade the men of
this, which are all grounded in their prudence and circumspection;
respecting which, something shall be said in a future part of this work,
particularly in the chapter ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESS, SEPARATIONS, AND
DIVORCES BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. The reason why men receive from their
wives the inspiration or insinuation of love, is, because nothing of
conjugial love, or even of the love of the sex, is with the men, but
only with wives and females. That this is the case, has been clearly
shewn me in the spiritual world. I was once engaged in conversation
there on this subject; and the men, in consequence of a persuasion
infused from their wives, insisted that they loved and not the wives;
but that the wives received love from them. In order to settle the
dispute respecting this arcanum, all the females, married and unmarried,
were withdrawn from the men, and at the same time the sphere of the love
of the sex was removed with them. On the removal of this sphere, the men
were reduced to a very unusual state, such as they had never before
perceived, at which they greatly complained. Then, while they were in
this state, the females were brought to them, and the wives to the
husbands; and both the wives and the other females addressed them in the
tenderest and most engaging manner; but they were cold to their
tenderness, and turned away, and said one to another, "What is all this?
what is a female?" And when some of the women said that they were their
wives, they replied, "What is a wife? we do not know you." But when the
wives began to be grieved at this absolutely cold indifference of the
men, and some of them to shed tears, the sphere of the love of the
female sex, and the conjugial sphere, which had for a time been
withdrawn from the men, was restored; and then the men instantly
returned into their former state, the lovers of marriage into their
state, and the lovers of the sex into theirs. Thus the men were
convinced, that nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the
sex, resides with them, but only with the wives and females.
Nevertheless, the wives afterwards from their prudence induced the men
to believe, that love resides with the men, and that some small spark of
it may pass from them into the wives. This experimental evidence is here
adduced, in order that it may be known, that wives are loves and men
recipients. That men are recipients according to their wisdom,
especially according to this wisdom grounded in religion, that the wife
only is to be loved, is evident from this consideration, that so long as
the wife only is loved, the love is concentrated; and because it is also
ennobled, it remains in its strength, and is fixed and permanent; and
that in any other case it would be as when wheat from the granary is
cast to the dogs, whereby there is scarcity at home.

marriage does not conjoin; for it partakes of the love of the sex, which
is the love of the body and thence of the spirit; and what is in the
spirit, as derived from the body, does not long continue; but the love
which is in the body, and is derived from the spirit, does continue. The
love of the spirit, and of the body from the spirit, is insinuated into
the souls and minds of married partners, together with friendship and
confidence. When these two (friendship and confidence) conjoin
themselves with the first love of marriage, there is effected conjugial
love, which opens the bosoms, and inspires the sweets of that love; and
this more and more thoroughly, in proportion as those two principles
adjoin themselves to the primitive love, and that love enters into them,
and _vice versa_.

That wisdom with men is two-fold, rational and moral, and that their
rational wisdom is of the understanding alone, and their moral wisdom is
of the understanding and the life together, may be concluded and seen
from mere intuition and examination. But in order that it may be known
what we mean by the rational wisdom of men, and what by their moral
wisdom, we will enumerate some of the specific distinctions. The
principles constituent of their rational wisdom are called by various
names; in general they are called knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom;
but in particular they are called rationality, judgement, capacity,
erudition, and sagacity; but as every one has knowledge peculiar to his
office, therefore they are multifarious; for the clergy, magistrates,
public officers, judges, physicians and chemists, soldiers and sailors,
artificers and laborers, husbandmen, &c., have each their peculiar
knowledge. To rational wisdom also appertain all the knowledge into
which young men are initiated in the schools, and by which they are
afterwards initiated into intelligence, which also are called by various
names, as philosophy, physics, geometry, mechanics, chemistry,
astronomy, jurisprudence, politics, ethics, history, and several others,
by which, as by doors, an entrance is made into things rational, which
are the ground of rational wisdom.

164. But the constituents of moral wisdom with men are all the moral
virtues, which have respect to life, and enter into it, and also all the
spiritual virtues, which flow from love to God and love towards our
neighbour, and centre in those loves. The virtues which appertain to the
moral wisdom of men are also of various kinds, and are called
temperance, sobriety, probity, benevolence, friendship, modesty,
sincerity, courtesy, civility, also carefulness, industry, quickness of
wit, alacrity, munificence, liberality, generosity, activity,
intrepidity, prudence and many others. Spiritual virtues with men are
the love of religion, charity, truth, conscience, innocence, and many
more. The latter virtues and also the former, may in general be referred
to love and zeal for religion, for the public good, for a man's country,
for his fellow-citizens, for his parents, for his married partner, and
for his children. In all these, justice and judgement have dominion;
justice having relation to moral, and judgement to rational wisdom.

165. The reason why the conjunction of the wife with the man's rational
wisdom is from within, is, because this wisdom belongs to the man's
understanding, and ascends into the light in which women are not and
this is the reason why women do not speak from that wisdom; but, when
the conversation of the men turns on subjects proper thereto, they
remain silent and listen. That nevertheless such subjects have place
with the wives from within, is evident from their listening thereto, and
from their inwardly recollecting what had been said, and favoring those
things which they had heard from their husbands. But the reason why the
conjunction of the wife with the moral wisdom of the man is from
without, is, because the virtues of that wisdom for the most part are
akin to similar virtues with the women, and partake of the man's
intellectual will, with which the will of the wife unites and
constitutes a marriage; and since the wife knows those virtues
appertaining to the man more than the man himself does, it is said that
the conjunction of the wife with those virtues is from without.

PRUDENCE IN MODERATING THEM. That wives know the affections of their
husbands, and prudently moderate them, is among the arcana of conjugial
love which lie concealed with wives. They know those affections by three
senses, the sight, the hearing, and the touch, and moderate them while
their husbands are not at all aware of it. Now as the reasons of this
are among the arcana of wives, it does not become me to disclose them
circumstantially; but as it is becoming for the wives themselves to do
so, therefore four MEMORABLE RELATIONS are added to this chapter, in
which those reasons are disclosed by the wives: two of the RELATIONS are
taken from the three wives that dwelt in the hall, over which was seen
falling as it were a golden shower; and two from the seven wives that
were sitting in the garden of roses. A perusal of these RELATIONS will
unfold this arcanum.

hiding of the perception of the affections of the husband by the wives,
are said to be of necessity; because if they should reveal them, they
would cause a complete alienation of their husbands, both in mind and
body. The reason of this is, because there resides deep in the minds of
many men a conjugial coldness, originating in several causes, which will
be enumerated in the chapter ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESSES, SEPARATION,
AND DIVORCES BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. This Coldness, in case the wives
should discover the affections and inclinations of their husbands, would
burst forth from its hiding places, and communicate its cold, first to
the interiors of the mind, afterwards to the breast, and thence to the
ultimates of love which are appropriated to generation; and these being
affected with cold, conjugial love would be banished to such a degree,
that there would not remain any hope of friendship, of confidence, of
the blessedness of dwelling together, and thence of the happiness of
life; when nevertheless wives are continually feeding on this hope. To
make this open declaration, that they know their husbands' affections
and inclinations of love, carries with it a declaration and publication
of their own love: and it is well known, that so far as wives make such
a declaration, so far the men grow cold and desire a separation. From
these considerations the truth of this proposition is manifest, that the
reasons why wives conceal their perception with themselves, and hide it
from their husbands, are reasons of necessity.

COMMUNICABLE TO THE WIFE. This follows from the distinction subsisting
between the male principle and the female. The male principle consists
in perceiving from the understanding, and the female in perceiving from
love: and the understanding perceives also those things which are above
the body and are out of the world; for the rational and spiritual sight
reaches to such objects; whereas love reaches no further than to what it
feels; when it reaches further, it is in consequence of conjunction with
the understanding of the man established from creation: for the
understanding has relation to light, and love to heat; and those things
which have relation to light, are seen, and those which have relation to
heat, are felt. From these considerations it is evident, that from the
universal distinction subsisting between the male principle and the
female, the wisdom of the wife is not communicable to the man, neither
is the wisdom of the man communicable to the wife: nor, further, is the
moral wisdom of the man communicable to women, so far as it partakes of
his rational wisdom.

HERSELF: IT IS OTHERWISE WITH THE MAN. This agrees with what was
explained above; namely, that the inclination to unite the man to
herself is constant and perpetual with the wife, but inconstant and
alternate with the man; see n. 160: hence it follows, that the wife's
thoughts are continually employed about her husband's inclination to
her, with the purpose of joining him to herself. Her thoughts concerning
her husband are interrupted indeed by domestic concerns; but still they
remain in the affection of her love; and this affection does not
separate itself from the thoughts with women, as it does with men: these
things, however, I relate from hearsay; see the two MEMORABLE RELATIONS
from the seven wives sitting in the rose-garden, which are annexed to
some of the following chapters.

DESIRES OF HIS WILL. This being generally known and admitted, it is
needless to explain it.

LIFE FLOWING FROM THE LOVE OF HIM. There flows, yea there overflows,
from every man (_homo_) a spiritual sphere, derived from the affections
of his love, which encompasses him, and infuses itself into the natural
sphere derived from the body, so that the two spheres are conjoined.
That a natural sphere is continually flowing, not only from men, but
also from beasts, yea from trees, fruits, flowers, and also from metals,
is generally known. The case is the same in the spiritual world; but the
spheres flowing from subjects in that world are spiritual, and those
which emanate from spirits and angels are altogether spiritual; because
there appertain thereto affections of love, and thence interior
perceptions and thoughts. This is the origin of all sympathy and
antipathy, and likewise of all conjunction and disjunction, and,
according thereto, of presence and absence in the spiritual world: for
what is of a similar nature or concordant causes conjunction and
presence, and what is of a dissimilar nature and discordant causes
disjunction and absence; therefore those spheres cause distances in that
world. What effects those spiritual spheres produce in the natural
world, is also known to some. The inclinations of married partners
towards each other are from no other origin. They are united by
unanimous and concordant spheres, and disunited by adverse and
discordant spheres; for concordant spheres are delightful and grateful,
whereas discordant spheres are undelightful and ungrateful. I have been
informed by the angels, who are in a clear perception of those spheres,
that every part of a man, both interior and exterior, renews itself;
which is effected by solutions and reparations; and that hence arises
the sphere which continually issues forth. I have also been informed
that this sphere encompasses a man on the back and on the breast,
lightly on the back, but more densely on the breast, and that the sphere
issuing from the breast conjoins itself with the respiration; and that
this is the reason why two married partners, who are of different minds
and discordant affections, lie in bed back to back, and, on the other
hand, why those who agree in minds and affections, mutually turn towards
each other. I have been further informed by the angels, that these
spheres, because they flow from every part of a man (_homo_), and are
abundantly continued around him, conjoin and disjoin two married
partners not only externally, but also internally; and that hence come
all the differences and varieties of conjugial love. Lastly, I have been
informed, that the sphere of love, flowing from a wife who is tenderly
loved, is perceived in heaven as sweetly fragrant, by far more pleasant
than it is perceived in the world by a newly married man during the
first days after marriage. From these considerations is manifested the
truth of the assertion, that a wife is conjoined to a man by the sphere
of her life flowing from the love of him.

MUTUAL SPIRITUAL LOVE. That this is the case, I have also gathered from
the mouth of angels. They have declared that the prolific principles
imparted from the husbands are received universally by the wives and add
themselves to their life; and that thus the wives lead a life unanimous,
and successively more unanimous with their husbands; and that hence is
effectively produced a union of souls and a conjunction of minds. They
declared the reason of this was, because in the prolific principle of
the husband is his soul, and also his mind as to its interiors, which
are conjoined to the soul. They added, that this was provided from
creation, in order that the wisdom of the man, which constitutes his
soul, may be appropriated to the wife, and that thus they may become,
according to the Lord's words, one flesh: and further, that this was
provided, lest the husband (_homovir_) from some caprice should leave
the wife after conception. But they added further, that applications and
appropriations of the life of the husband with the wife are effected
according to conjugial love, because love which is spiritual union,
conjoins; and that this also is provided for several reasons.

reasons above adduced it follows as an established fact, that wives
receive in themselves those things which appertain to the wisdom of
their husbands, thus which are proper to the souls and minds of their
husbands, and thereby from virgins make themselves wives. The reasons
from which this follows, are, 1. That the woman was created out of the
man. 2. That hence she has an inclination to unite, and as it were to
reunite herself with the man. 3. That by virtue of this union with her
partner, and for the sake of it, the woman is born the love of the man,
and becomes more and more the love of him by marriage; because in this
case the love is continually employing its thoughts to conjoin the man
to itself. 4. That the woman is conjoined to her only one (_unico suo_)
by application to the desires of his life. 5. That they are conjoined by
the spheres which encompass them, and which unite themselves universally
and particularly according to the quality of the conjugial love with the
wives, and at the same time according to the quality of the wisdom
recipient thereof with the husbands. 6. That they are also conjoined by
appropriations of the powers of the husbands by the wives. 7. From which
reasons it is evident, that there is continually somewhat of the husband
being transferred to the wife, and inscribed on her as her own. From all
these considerations it follows, that the image of the husband is formed
in the wife; by virtue of which image the wife perceives, sees, and is
sensible of, the things which are in her husband, in herself, and thence
as it were herself in him. She perceives from communication, she sees
from aspect, and she is made sensible from the touch. That she is made
sensible of the reception of her love by the husband from the touch in
the palms of the hands, on the cheeks, the shoulders, the hands, and the
breasts, I learnt from the three wives in the hall, and the seven wives
in the rose garden, spoken of in the MEMORABLE RELATIONS which follow.

PERFORM THEM ARIGHT. That there are duties proper to the husband, and
others proper to the wife, needs not to be illustrated by an enumeration
of them; for they are many and various: and every one that chooses to do
so can arrange them numerically according to their genera and species.
The duties by which wives principally conjoin themselves with their
husbands, are those which relate to the education of the children of
each sex, and of the girls till they are marriageable.

175. The wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor on
the other hand the husband into the duties proper to the wife, because
they differ like wisdom and the love thereof, or like thought and the
affection thereof, or like understanding and the will thereof. In the
duties proper to husbands, the primary agent is understanding, thought,
and wisdom; whereas in the duties proper to wives, the primary agent is
will, affection, and love; and the wife from the latter performs her
duties, and the husband from the former performs his; wherefore their
duties are naturally different, but still conjunctive in a successive
series. Many believe that women can perform the duties of men, if they
are initiated therein at an early age, as boys are. They may indeed be
initiated into the practice of such duties, but not into the judgement
on which the propriety of duties interiorly depends; wherefore such
women as have been initiated into the duties of men, are bound in
matters of judgement to consult men, and then, if they are left to their
own disposal, they select from the counsels of men that which suits
their own inclination. Some also suppose that women are equally capable
with men of elevating their intellectual vision, and into the same
sphere of light, and of viewing things with the same depth; and they
have been led into this opinion by the writings of certain learned
authoresses: but these writings, when examined in the spiritual world in
the presence of the authoresses, were found to be the productions, not
of judgement and wisdom, but of ingenuity and wit; and what proceeds
from these on account of the elegance and neatness of the style in which
it is written, has the appearance of sublimity and erudition; yet only
in the eyes of those who dignify all ingenuity by the name of wisdom. In
like manner men cannot enter into the duties proper to women, and
perform them aright, because they are not in the affections of women,
which are altogether distinct from the affections of men. As the
affections and perceptions of the male (and of the female) sex are thus
distinct by creation and consequently by nature, therefore among the
statutes given to the sons of Israel this also was ordained, "_A woman
shall not put on the garment of a man, neither shall a man put on the
garment of a woman; because this is an abomination_." Deut. xxii. 5.
This was, because, all in the spiritual world are clothed according to
their affections; and the two affections, of the woman and of the man,
cannot be united except (as subsisting) between two, and in no case (as
subsisting) in one.

in the world that the duties of the husband in some way conjoin
themselves with the duties of the wife, and that the duties of the wife
adjoin themselves to the duties of the husband, and that these
conjunctions and adjunctions are a mutual aid, and according thereto:
but the primary duties, which confederate, consociate, and gather into
one the souls and lives of two married partners, relate to the common
care of educating their children; in relation to which care, the duties
of the husband and of the wife are distinct, and yet join themselves
together. They are distinct; for the care of suckling and nursing the
infants of each sex, and also the care of instructing the girls till
they become marriageable, is properly the duty of the wife; whereas the
care of instructing the boys, from childhood to youth, and from youth
till they become capable of governing themselves, is properly the duty
of the husband: nevertheless the duties, of both the husband and the
wife, are blended by means of counsel and support, and several other
mutual aids. That these duties, both conjoined and distinct, or both
common and peculiar, combine the minds of conjugial partners into one;
and that this is effected by the love called _storge_, is well known. It
is also well known, that these duties, regarded in their distinction and
conjunction, constitute one house.

ONE MAN (homo) MORE AND MORE. This coincides with what is contained in
article VI.; where it was observed, that conjunction is effected
successively from the first days of marriage and that with those who are
principled in love truly conjugial, it is effected more and more
thoroughly to eternity; see above. They become one man in proportion as
conjugial love increases; and as this love in the heavens is genuine by
virtue of the celestial and spiritual life of the angels, therefore two
married partners are there called two, when they are regarded as husband
and wife, but one, when they are regarded as angels.

case, must be confirmed not from the testimony of any inhabitant of the
earth, but from the testimony of the inhabitants of heaven; for there is
no love truly conjugial at this day with men on earth; and moreover, men
on earth are encompassed with a gross body, which deadens and absorbs
the sensation that two married partners are a united man, and as it were
one flesh; and besides, those in the world who love their married
partners only exteriorly, and not interiorly, do not wish to hear of
such a thing: they think also on the subject lasciviously under the
influence of the flesh. It is otherwise with the angels of heaven, who
are principled in spiritual and celestial conjugial love, and are not
encompassed with so gross a body as men on earth. From those among them
who have lived for ages with their conjugial partners in heaven, I have
heard it testified, that they are sensible of their being so united, the
husband with the wife, and the wife with the husband, and each in the
other mutually and interchangeably, as also in the flesh, although they
are separate. The reason why this phenomenon is so rare on earth, they
have declared to be this; because the union of the souls and minds of
married partners on earth is made sensible in their flesh; for the soul
constitutes the inmost principles not only of the head, but also of the
body: in like manner the mind, which is intermediate between the soul
and the body, and which, although it appears to be in the head, is yet
also actually in the whole body: and they have declared, that this is
the reason why the acts, which the soul and mind intend, flow forth
instantly from the body; and that hence also it is, that they
themselves, after the rejection of the body in the former world, are
perfect men. Now, since the soul and the mind join themselves closely to
the flesh of the body, in order that they may operate and produce their
effects, it follows that the union of soul and mind with a married
partner is made sensible also in the body as one flesh. As the angels
made these declarations, I heard it asserted by the spirits who were
present, that such subjects belong to angelic wisdom, being above
ordinary apprehension; but these spirits were rational-natural, and not

THE BOSOMS AND THENCE IN THE BODY. That it is a union of souls and a
conjunction of minds, may be seen above, n. 158. The reason why it is an
endeavour towards conjunction in the bosoms is, because the bosom (or
breast) is as it were a place of public assembly, and a royal
council-chamber, while the body is as a populous city around it. The
reason why the bosom is as it were a place of public assembly, is,
because all things, which by derivation from the soul and mind have
their determination in the body, first flow into the bosom; and the
reason why it is as it were a royal council chamber, is, because in the
bosom there is dominion over all things of the body; for in the bosom
are contained the heart and lungs; and the heart rules by the blood, and
the lungs by the respiration, in every part. That the body is as a
populous city around it, is evident. When therefore the souls and minds
of married partners are united, and love truly conjugial unites them, it
follows that this lovely union flows into their bosoms, and through
their bosoms into their bodies, and causes an endeavour towards
conjunction; and so much the more, because conjugial love determines the
endeavour to its ultimates, in order to complete its satisfactions; and
as the bosom is intermediate between the body and the mind, it is
evident on what account conjugial love has fixed therein the seat of its
delicate sensation.

things are in conjugial love, and thence are derived from it, because
its origin is from the marriage of good and truth, and this marriage is
from the Lord; and because love is of such a nature, that it desires to
communicate with another, whom it loves from the heart, yea, confer joys
upon him, and thence to derive its own joys. This therefore is the case
in an infinitely high degree with the divine love, which is in the Lord,
in regard to man, whom he created a receptacle of both love and wisdom
proceeding from himself; and as he created man (_homo_) for the
reception of those principles, the man (_vir_) for the reception of
wisdom, and the woman for the reception of the love of the man's wisdom,
therefore from inmost principles he infused into men (_homines_)
conjugial love into which love he might insinuate all things blessed,
satisfactory, delightful, and pleasant, which proceed solely from his
divine love through his divine wisdom, together with life, and flow into
their recipients; consequently, which flow into those who are principled
in love truly conjugial; for these alone are recipients. Mention is made
of innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friendship, full confidence,
and the mutual desire of doing every good to each other; for innocence
and peace relate to the soul, tranquillity to the mind, inmost
friendship to the breast, full confidence to the heart, and the mutual
desire of doing every good to each other, to the body as derived from
the former principles.

ONE WIFE. This is a conclusion from all that has been said above, and
also from all that remains to be said; therefore there is no need of any
particular comment for its confirmation.

* * * * *

182. To the above I will add TWO MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. After some
weeks, I heard a voice from heaven, saying, "Lo! there is again an
assembly on Parnassus: come hither, and we will shew you the way." I
accordingly came; and as I drew near, I saw a certain person on Helicon
with a trumpet, with which he announced and proclaimed the assembly. And
I saw the inhabitants of Athens and its suburbs ascending as before; and
in the midst of them three novitiates from the world. They were of a
Christian community; one a priest, another a politician, and the third a
philosopher. These they entertained on the way with conversation on
various subjects, especially concerning the wise ancients, whom they
named. They inquired whether they should see them, and were answered in
the affirmative, and were told, that if they were desirous, they might
pay their respects to them, as they were courteous and affable. The
novitiates then inquired after Demosthenes, Diogenes, and Epicurus; and
were answered, "Demosthenes is not here, but with Plato; Diogenes, with
his scholars, resides under Helicon, because of his little attention to
worldly things, and his being engaged in heavenly contemplations;
Epicurus dwells in a border to the west, and has no intercourse with us;
because we distinguish between good and evil affections, and say, that
good affections are one with wisdom, and evil affections are contrary to
it." When they had ascended the hill Parnassus, some guards there
brought water in crystal cups from a fountain in the mount, and said,
"This is water from the fountain which, according to ancient fable, was
broken open by the hoof of the horse Pegasus, and was afterwards
consecrated to nine virgins: but by the winged horse Pegasus they meant
the understanding of truth, by which comes wisdom; by the hoofs of his
feet they understood experiences whereby comes natural intelligence; and
by the nine virgins they understood knowledges and sciences of every
kind. These things are now called fables; but they were correspondences,
agreeable to the primeval method of speaking." Then those who attended
the three strangers said, "Be not surprised; the guards are told thus to
speak; but we know that to drink water from the fountain, means to be
instructed concerning truths, and by truths concerning goods, and
thereby to grow wise." After this, they entered the Palladium, and with
them the three novitiates, the priest, the politician, and the
philosopher; and immediately the laureled sophi who were seated at the
tables, asked, "WHAT NEWS FROM THE EARTH?" They replied, "This is news;
that a certain person declares that he converses with angels, and has
his sight opened into the spiritual world, equally as into the natural
world; and he brings thence much new information, and, among other
particulars, asserts, that a man lives a man after death, as he lived
before in the world; that he sees, hears, speaks, as before in the
world; that he is clothed and decked with ornaments, as before in the
world; that he hungers and thirsts, eats and drinks, as before in the
world; that he enjoys conjugial delights, as before in the world; that
he sleeps and wakes, as before in the world; that in the spiritual world
there are land and water, mountains and hills, plains and valleys,
fountains and rivers, paradises and groves; also that there are palaces
and houses, cities and villages, as in the natural world; and further,
that there are writings and books, employments and trades; also precious
stones, gold and silver; in a word, that there are all such things there
as there are on earth, and that those things in the heavens are
infinitely more perfect; with this difference only, that all things in
the spiritual world are from a spiritual origin, and therefore are
spiritual, because they are from the sun of that world, which is pure
love; whereas all things in the natural world are from a natural origin,
and therefore are natural and material, because they are from the sun of
that world, which is pure fire; in short, that a man after death is
perfectly a man, yea more perfectly than before in the world; for before
in the world he was in a material body, but in the spiritual world he is
in a spiritual body." Hereupon the ancient sages asked, "What do the
people on the earth think of such information?" The three strangers
replied, "We know that it is true, because we are here, and have viewed
and examined everything; wherefore we will tell you what has been said
and reasoned about it on earth." Then the PRIEST said, "Those of our
order, when they first heard such relations, called them visions, then
fictions; afterwards they insisted that the man had seen spectres, and
lastly they hesitated, and said, 'Believe them who will; we have
hitherto taught that a man will not be in a body after death until the
day of the last judgement.'" Then the sages asked, "Are there no
intelligent persons among those of your order, who can prove and evince
the truth, that a man lives a man after death?" The priest said, "There
are indeed some who prove it, but not to the conviction of others. Those
who prove it say, that it is contrary to sound reason to believe, that a
man does not live a man till the day of the last judgement, and that in
the mean while he is a soul without a body. What is the soul, or where
is it in the interim? Is it a vapor, or some wind floating in the
atmosphere, or some thing hidden in the bowels of the earth? Have the
souls of Adam and Eve, and of all their posterity, now for six thousand
years, or sixty ages, been flying about in the universe, or been shut up
in the bowels of the earth, waiting for the last judgement? What can be
more anxious and miserable than such an expectation? May not their lot
in such a case be compared with that of prisoners bound hand and foot,
and lying in a dungeon? If such be a man's lot after death, would it not
be better to be born an ass than a man? Is it not also contrary to
reason to believe, that the soul can be re-clothed with its body? Is not
the body eaten up by worms, mice, and fish? And can a bony skeleton that
has been parched in the sun, or mouldered into dust, be introduced into
a new body? And how could the cadaverous and putrid materials be
collected, and reunited to the souls? When such questions as these are
urged, those of our order do not offer any answers grounded in reason,
but adhere to their creed, saying, 'We keep reason under obedience to
faith.' With respect to collecting all the parts of the human body from
the grave at the last day, they say, 'This is a work of omnipotence;'
and when they name omnipotence and faith, reason is banished; and I am
free to assert, that in such case sound reason is not appreciated, and
by some is regarded as a spectre; yea, they can say to sound reason,
'Thou art unsound.'" On hearing these things, the Grecian sages said,
"Surely such paradoxes vanish and disperse of themselves, as being full
of contradiction; and yet in the world at this day they cannot be
dispersed by sound reason. What can be believed more paradoxical than
what is told respecting the last judgement; that the universe will then
be destroyed, and that the stars of heaven will then fall down upon the
earth, which is less than the stars; and that then the bodies of men,
whether they be mouldering carcases, or mummies eaten by men, or reduced
to mere dust, will meet and be united again with their souls? We, during
our abode in the world, from the inductions of reason, believed the
immortality of the souls of men; and we also assigned regions for the
blessed, which we call the elysian fields; and we believed that the soul
was a human image or appearance, but of a fine and delicate nature,
because spiritual." After this, the assembly turned to the other
stranger, who in the world had been a POLITICIAN. He confessed that he
did not believe in a life after death, and that respecting the new
information which he had heard about it, he thought it all fable and
fiction. "In my meditations on the subject," said he, "I used to say to
myself, 'How can souls be bodies?--does not the whole man lie dead in
the grave?--is not the eye there; how can he see?--is not the ear there,
how can he hear?--whence must he have a mouth wherewith to speak?
Supposing anything of a man to live after death, must it not resemble a
spectre? and how can a spectre eat and drink, or how can it enjoy
conjugial delights? whence can it have clothes, houses, meats, &c.?
Besides, spectres, which are mere aerial images, appear as if they
really existed; and yet they do not. These and similar sentiments I used
to entertain in the world concerning the life of men after death; but
now, since I have seen all things, and touched them with my hands, I am
convinced by my very senses that I am a man as I was in the world; so
that I know no other than that I live now as I lived formerly; with only
this difference, that my reason now is sounder. At times I have been
ashamed of my former thoughts." The PHILOSOPHER gave much the same
account of himself as the politician had done; only differing in this
respect, that he considered the new relations which he had heard
concerning a life after death, as having reference to opinions and
hypotheses which he had collected from the ancients and moderns. When
the three strangers had done speaking, the sophi were all in amazement;
and those who were of the Socratic school, said, that from the news they
had heard from the earth, it was quite evident, that the interiors of
human minds had been successively closed; and that in the world at this
time a belief in what is false shines as truth, and an infatuated
ingenuity as wisdom; and that the light of wisdom, since their times,
has descended from the interiors of the brain into the mouth beneath the
nose, where it appears to the eyes as a shining of the lip, while the
speech of the mouth thence proceeding appears as wisdom. Hereupon one of
the young scholars said, "How stupid are the minds of the inhabitants of
the earth at this day! I wish we had here the disciples of Heraclitus,
who weep at every thing, and of Democritus, who laugh at every thing;
for then we should hear much lamentation and much laughter." When the
assembly broke up, they gave the three novitiates the insignia of their
authority, which were copper plates, on which were engraved some
hieroglyphic characters; with which they took their leave and departed.

183. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. I saw in the eastern quarter a grove
of palm-trees and laurels, set in winding rows, which I approached and
entered; and walking in the winding paths I saw at the end a garden,
which formed the centre of the grove. There was a little bridge dividing
the grove from the garden, and at the bridge two gates, one on the side
next the grove, and the other on the side next the garden. And as I drew
near, the keeper opened the gates, and I asked him the name of the
garden. He said, "ADRAMANDONI; which is the delight of conjugial love."
I entered, and lo! there were olive-trees; and among them ran pendulous
vines, and underneath and among them were shrubs in flower. In the midst
of the garden was a grassy circus, on which were seated husbands and
wives, and youths and maidens, in pairs; and in the midst of the circus,
on an elevated piece of ground, there was a little fountain, which, from
the strength of its spring, threw its water to a considerable height. On
approaching the circus I saw two angels clad in purple and scarlet, in
conversation with those who were seated on the grass. They were
conversing respecting the origin of conjugial love, and respecting its
delights; and this being the object of their discourse, the attention
was eager, and the reception full; and hence there was an exaltation in
the speech of the angels as from the fire of love. I collected the
following summary of what was said. They began with the difficulty of
investigating and perceiving the origin of conjugial love; because its
origin is divinely celestial, it being divine love, divine wisdom, and
divine use, which three proceed as a one from the Lord, and hence flow
as a one into the souls of men, and through their souls into their
minds, and there into the interior affections and thoughts, and through
these into the desires next to the body, and from these through the
breast into the genital region, where all principles derived from their
first origin exist together, and, in union with successive principles,
constitute conjugial love. After this the angels said, "Let us
communicate together by questions and answers; since the perception of a
thing, imbibed by hearing only, flows in indeed, but does not remain
unless the bearer also thinks of it from himself, and asks questions
concerning it." Then some of that conjugial assembly said to the angels,
"We have heard that the origin of conjugial love is divinely celestial;
because it is by virtue of influx from the Lord into the souls of men;
and, as it is from the Lord, that it is love, wisdom, and use, which are
three essentials, together constituting one divine essence, and that
nothing but what is of the divine essence can proceed from him, and flow
into the inmost principle of man (_homo_), which is called his soul; and
that these three essentials are changed into analogous and corresponding
principles in their descent into the body. We ask therefore now in the
first place, What is meant by the third proceeding divine essential,
which is called use?" The angels replied, "Love and wisdom, without use,
are only abstract ideas of thought; which also after some continuance in
the mind pass away like the winds; but in use they are collected
together, and therein become one principle, which is called real. Love
cannot rest unless it is as work; for love is the essential active
principle of life; neither can wisdom exist and subsist unless when it
is at work from and with love; and to work is use; therefore we define
use to be the doing good from love by wisdom; use being essential good.
As these three essentials, love, wisdom, and use, flow into the souls of
men, it may appear from what ground it is said, that all good is from
God; for every thing done from love by wisdom, is called good; and use
also is something done. What is love without wisdom but a mere
infatuation? and what is love with wisdom without use, but a puff of the
mind? Whereas love and wisdom with use not only constitute man (_homo_),
but also are man; yea, what possibly you will be surprised at, they
propagate man; for in the seed of a man (_vir_) is his soul in a perfect
human form, covered with substances from the purest principles of
nature; whereof a body is formed in the womb of the mother. This is the
supreme and ultimate use of the divine love by the divine wisdom."
Finally the angels said, "We will hence come to this conclusion, that
all fructification, propagation, and prolification, is originally
derived from the influx of love, wisdom, and use from the Lord, from an
immediate influx into the souls of men, from a mediate influx into the
souls of animals, and from an influx still more mediate into the inmost
principles of vegetables; and all these effects are wrought in ultimates
from first principles. That fructifications, propagations, and
prolifications, are continuations of creation, is evident; for creation
cannot be from any other source, than from divine love by divine wisdom
in divine use; wherefore all things in the universe are procreated and
formed from use, in use, and for use." Afterwards those who were seated
on the grassy couches, asked the angels "Whence are the innumerable and
ineffable delights of conjugial love?" The angels replied, "They are
from the uses of love and wisdom, as may be plain from this
consideration, that so far as any one loves to grow wise, for the sake
of genuine use, so far he is in the vein and potency of conjugial love;
and so far as he is in these two, so far he is in the delights thereof.
Use effects this; because love and wisdom are delighted with each other,
and as it were sport together like little children; and as they grow up,
they enter into genial conjunction, which is effected by a kind of
betrothing, nuptial solemnity, marriage, and propagation, and this with
continual variety to eternity. These operations take place between love
and wisdom inwardly in use. Those delights in their first principles are
imperceptible; but they become more and more perceptible as they descend
thence by degrees and enter the body. They enter by degrees from the
soul into the interiors of a man's mind, from these into its exteriors,
from these into the bosom, and from the bosom into the genital region.
Those celestial nuptial sports in the soul are not at all perceived by
man; but they thence insinuate themselves into the interiors of the mind
under a species of peace and innocence, and into the exteriors of the
mind under a species of blessedness, satisfaction, and delight; in the
bosom under a species of the delights of inmost friendship; and in the
genital region, from continual influx even from the soul with the
essential sense of conjugial love, as the delight of delights. These
nuptial sports of love and wisdom in use in the soul, in proceeding
towards the bosom, become permanent, and present themselves sensible
therein under an infinite variety of delights; and from the wonderful
communication of the bosom with the genital region, the delights therein
become the delights of conjugial love, which are superior to all other
delights in heaven and in the world; because the use of conjugial love
is the most excellent of all uses, the procreation of the human race
being thence derived, and from the human race the angelic heaven." To
this the angels added, that those who are not principled in the love of
wisdom for the sake of use from the Lord, do not know anything
concerning the variety of the innumerable delights of love truly
conjugial; for with those who do not love to grow wise from genuine
truths, but love to be insane from false principles, and by this
insanity perform evil uses from some particular love, the way to the
soul is closed: hence the heavenly nuptial sports of love and wisdom in
the soul, being more and more intercepted, cease, and together with them
conjugial love ceases with its vein, its potency, and its delights. On
hearing these statements the audience said, "We now perceive that
conjugial love is according to the love of growing wise for the sake of
uses from the Lord." The angels replied that it was so. And instantly
upon the heads of some of the audience there appeared wreaths of
flowers; and on their asking, "Why is this?" the angels said, "Because
they have understood more profoundly:" and immediately they departed
from the garden, and the latter in the midst of them.

* * * * *


184. What is meant by states of life, and their changes, is very well
known to the learned and the wise, but unknown to the unlearned and the
simple; wherefore it may be expedient to premise somewhat on the
subject. The state of a man's life is its quality; and as there are in
every man two faculties which constitute his life, and which are called
the understanding and the will, the state of a man's life is its quality
as to the understanding and the will. Hence it is evident, that changes
of the state of life mean changes of quality as to the things
appertaining to the understanding and the will. That every man is
continually changing as to those two principles, but with a distinction
of variations before marriage and after it, is the point proposed to be
proved in this section; which shall be done in the following
propositions:--I. _The state of a man's (homo) life from infancy even to
the end of his life, and afterwards to eternity, is continually
changing._ II. _In like manner a man's internal form which is that of
his spirit, is continually changing._ III. _These changes differ in the
case of men and of women; since men from creation are forms of
knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of
those principles as existing with men._ IV. _With men there is an
elevation of the mind into superior light, and with women an elevation
of the mind into superior heat: and that the woman is made sensible of
the delights of her heat in the man's light._ V. _With both men and
women, the states of life before marriage are different from what they
are afterwards._ VI. _With married partners the states of life after
marriage are changed and succeed each other according to the
conjunctions of their minds by conjugial love._ VII. _Marriage also
induces other forms in the souls and minds of married partners._ VIII.
_The woman is actually formed into a wife according to the description
in the book of creation._ IX. _This formation is effected on the part of
the wife by secret means; and this is meant by the woman's being created
while the man slept._ X. _This formation on the part of the wife is
affected by the conjunction of her own will with the internal will of
the man._ XI. _The end herein is, that the will of both became one, and
that thus both may become one man (homo)._ XII. _This formation on the
part of the wife is affected by an appropriation of the affections of
the husband._ XIII. _This formation on the part of the wife is effected
by a reception of the propagations of the soul of the husband, with the
delight arising from her desire to be the love of her husband's wisdom._
XIV. _Thus a maiden is formed into a wife, and a youth into a husband._
XV. _In the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom there exists
love truly conjugial, the wife becomes more and more a wife and the
husband more and more a husband._ XVI. _Thus also their forms are
successively perfected and ennobled from within._ XVII. _Children born
of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from them
the conjugial principle of good and truth; whence they have an
inclination and faculty, if sons, to perceive the things relating to
wisdom, and if daughters, to love those things which wisdom teaches._
XVIII. _The reason of this is because the soul of the offspring is from
the father and its clothing from the mother._ We proceed to the
explanation of each article.

common states of a man's life are called infancy, childhood, youth,
manhood, and old age. That every man, whose life is continued in the
world, successively passes from one state into another, thus from the
first to the last, is well known. The transitions into those ages only
become evident by the intervening spaces of time: that nevertheless they
are progressive from one moment to another, thus continual, is obvious
to reason; for the case is similar with a man as with a tree, which
grows and increases every instant of time, even the most minute, from
the casting of the seed into the earth. These momentaneous progressions
are also changes of state; for the subsequent adds something to the
antecedent, which perfects the state. The changes which take place in a
man's internals, are more perfectly continuous than those which take
place in his externals; because a man's internals, by which we mean the
things appertaining to his mind or spirit, are elevated into a superior
degree above his externals; and in those principles which are in a
superior degree, a thousand effects take place in the same instant in
which one effect is wrought in externals. The changes which take place
in internals, are changes of the state of the will as to affections, and
of the state of the understanding as to thoughts. The successive changes
of state of the latter and of the former are specifically meant in the
proposition. The changes of these two lives or faculties are perpetual
with every man from infancy even to the end of his life, and afterwards
to eternity; because there is no end to knowledge, still less to
intelligence, and least of all to wisdom; for there is infinity and
eternity in the extent of these principles, by virtue of the Infinite
and Eternal One, from whom they are derived. Hence comes the
philosophical tenet of the ancients, that everything is divisible _in
infinitum_; to which may be added, that it is multiplicable in like
manner. The angels assert, that by wisdom from the Lord they are being
perfected to eternity; which also means to infinity; because eternity is
the infinity of time.

HIS SPIRIT, IS CONTINUALLY CHANGING. The reason why this form is
continually changing as the state of the man's life is changed, is,
because there is nothing that exists but in a form, and state induces
that form; wherefore it is the same whether we say that the state of a
man's life is changed, or that its form is changed. All a man's
affections and thoughts are in forms, and thence from forms; for forms
are their subjects. If affections and thoughts were not in subjects,
which are formed, they might exist also in skulls without a brain; which
would be the same thing as to suppose sight without an eye, hearing
without an ear, and taste without a tongue. It is well known that there
are subjects of these senses, and that these subjects are forms. The
state of life, and thence the form, with a man, is continually changing;
because it is a truth which the wise have taught and still teach, that
there does not exist a sameness, or absolute identity of two things,
still less of several; as there are not two human faces the same, and
still less several: the case is similar in things successive, in that no
subsequent state of life is the same as a preceding one; whence it
follows, that there is a perpetual change of the state of life with
every man, consequently also a perpetual change of form, especially of
his internals. But as these considerations do not teach anything
respecting marriages, but only prepare the way for knowledges concerning
them, and since also they are mere philosophical inquiries of the
understanding, which, with some persons, are difficult of apprehension,
we will pass them without further discussion.

That men were created forms of the understanding, and that women were
created forms of the love of the understanding of men, may be explained
above, n. 90. That the changes of state, which succeed both with men and
women from infancy to mature age, are for the perfecting of forms, the
intellectual form with men, and the voluntary with women, follows as a
consequence: hence it is clear, that the changes with men differ from
those with women; nevertheless with both, the external form which is of
the body is perfected according to the perfecting of the internal form
which is of the mind; for the mind acts upon the body, and not _vice
versa_. This is the reason why infants in heaven become men of stature
and comeliness according as they increase in intelligence; it is
otherwise with infants on earth, because they are encompassed with a
material body like the animals; nevertheless they agree in this, that
they first grow in inclination to such things as allure their bodily
senses, and afterwards by little and little to such things as affect the
internal thinking sense, and by degrees to such things as tincture the
will with affection; and when they arrive at an age which is midway
between mature and immature, the conjugial inclination begins, which is
that of a maiden to a youth, and of a youth to a maiden; and as maidens
in the heavens, like those on earth from an innate prudence conceal
their inclination to marriage, the youths there know no other than that
they affect the maidens with love; and this also appears to them in
consequence of their masculine eagerness; which they also derive from an
influx of love from the fair sex; concerning which influx we shall speak
particularly elsewhere. From these considerations the truth of the
proposition is evident, that the changes of state with men differ from
those with women; since men from creation are forms of knowledge,
intelligence and wisdom, and women are forms of the love of those
principles as existing with men.

By the light into which men are elevated, we mean intelligence and
wisdom; because spiritual light, which proceeds from the sun of the
spiritual world, which sun in its essence is love, acts in equality or
unity with those two principles; and by the heat into which women are
elevated, we mean conjugial love because spiritual heat, which proceeds
from the sun of that world, in its essence is love, and with women it is
love conjoining itself with intelligence and wisdom in men; which love
in its complex is called conjugial love, and by determination becomes
that love. It is called elevation into superior light and heat, because
it is elevation into the light and heat which the angels of the superior
heavens enjoy: it is also an actual elevation, as from a thick mist into
pure air, and from an inferior region of the air into a superior, and
from thence into ether; therefore elevation into superior light with men
is elevation into superior intelligence, and thence into wisdom; in
which also there are ascending degrees of elevation; but elevation into
superior heat with women is an elevation into chaster and purer
conjugial love, and continually towards the conjugial principle, which
from creation lies concealed in their inmost principles. These
elevations, considered in themselves, are openings of the mind; for the
human mind is distinguished into regions, as the world is distinguished
into regions as to the atmosphere; the lowest of which is the watery,
the next above is the aerial, and still higher is the ethereal, above
which there is also the highest: into similar regions the mind of man is
elevated as it is opened, with men by wisdom, and with women by love
truly conjugial.

189. We have said, that the woman is made sensible of the delights of
her heat in the man's light; by which we mean that the woman is made
sensible of the delights of her love in the man's wisdom, because wisdom
is the receptacle; and wherever love finds such a receptacle
corresponding to itself, it is in the enjoyment of its delights: but we
do not mean, that heat with its light is delighted out of forms, but
within them; and spiritual heat is delighted with spiritual light in
their forms to a greater degree, because those forms by virtue of wisdom
and love are vital, and thereby susceptible. This may be illustrated by
what are called the sports of heat with light in the vegetable kingdom:
out of the vegetable there is only a simple conjunction of heat and
light, but within it there is a kind of sport of the one with the other;
because there they are in forms or receptacles; for they pass through
astonishing meandering ducts, and in the inmost principles therein they
tend to use in bearing fruit, and also breathe forth their satisfactions
far and wide into the atmosphere, which they fill with fragrance. The
delight of spiritual heat with spiritual light is more vividly
perceivable in human forms, in which spiritual heat is conjugial love,
and spiritual light is wisdom.

passes through two states, one previous and the other subsequent to the
inclination for marriage. The changes of both these states, and the
consequent formations of minds, proceed in successive order according to
their continual increase; but we have not leisure now to describe these
changes, which are various and different in their several subjects. The
inclination to marriage, previous to marriage, are only imaginary in the
mind, and become more and more sensible in the body; but the states
thereof after marriage are states of conjunction and also of
prolification, which, it is evident, differ from the forgoing states as
effects differ from intentions.

MINDS BY CONJUGIAL LOVE. The reason why changes of the state and the
successions thereof after marriage, with both the man and the wife, are
according to conjugial love with each, and thus are either conjunctive
or disjunctive of their minds, is, because conjugial love is not only
various but also different with conjugial pairs: various, with those who
love each other interiorly; for with such it has its intermissions,
notwithstanding its being inwardly in its heat regular and permanent;
but it is different with those who love each other only exteriorly; for
with such its intermissions do not proceed from similar causes, but from
alternate cold and heat. The true ground of these differences is, that
with the latter the body is the principal agent, the ardour of which
spreads itself around, and forcibly draws into communion with it the
inferior principles of the mind; whereas, with the former, who love each
other interiorly, the mind is the principal agent, and brings the body
into communion with it. It appears as if love ascended from the body
into the soul; because as soon as the body catches the allurement, it
enters through the eyes, as through doors, into the mind, and thus
through the sight, as through an outer court, into the thoughts, and
instantly into the love: nevertheless it descends from the mind, and
acts upon the inferior principles according to their orderly
arrangement; therefore the lascivious mind acts lasciviously, and the
chaste mind chastely; and the latter arranges the body, whereas the
former is arranged by the body.

MARRIED PARTNERS. That marriage has this effect cannot be observed in
the natural world; because in this world souls and minds are encompassed
with a material body, through which the mind rarely shines: the men
(_homines_) also of modern times, more than the ancients, are taught
from their infancy to assume feigned countenances, whereby they deeply
conceal the affections of their minds; and this is the reason why the
forms of minds are not known and distinguished according to their
different quality, as existing before marriage and after it:
nevertheless that the forms of souls and minds differ after marriage
from what they were before, is very manifest from their appearance in
the spiritual world; for they are then spirits and angels, who are minds
and souls in a human form, stripped of their outward coverings, which
had been composed of watery and earthy elements, and of aerial vapors
thence arising; and when these are cast off, the forms of the minds are
plainly seen, such as they had been inwardly in their bodies; and then
it is clearly perceived, that there is a difference in regard to those
forms with those who live in marriage, and with those who do not. In
general, married partners have an interior beauty of countenance, the
man deriving from the wife the ruddy bloom of her love, and the wife
from the man the fair splendor of his wisdom; for two married partners
in the spiritual world are united as to their souls; and moreover there
appears in each a human fulness. This is the case in heaven, because
there are no marriages (_conjugia_) in any other place; beneath heaven
there are only nuptial connections (_connubia_), which are alternately
tied and loosed.

DESCRIPTION IN THE BOOK OF CREATION. In this book it is said, that the
woman was created out of the man's rib, and that the man said, when she
was brought to him, "This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh;
and she shall be called Eve (_Ischah_), because she was taken out of man
(_Isch_):" Gen. chap. ii. 21-23. A rib of the breast, in the Word,
signifies, in the spiritual sense, natural truth. This is signified by
the ribs which the bear carried between his teeth, Dan. vii. 5; for
bears signify those who read the Word in the natural sense, and see
truths therein without understanding: the man's breast signifies that
essential and peculiar principle, which is distinguished from the breast
of the woman: that this is wisdom, may be seen above, n. 187; for truth
supports wisdom as the ribs do the breast. These things are signified,
because the breast is that part of a man in which all his principles are
as in their centre. From these considerations, it is evident, that the
woman was created out of the man by a transfer of his peculiar wisdom,
which is the same thing as to be created out of natural truth; and that
the love thereof was transferred from the man into the woman, to the end
that conjugial love might exist; and that this was done in order that
the love of the wife and not self-love might be in the man: for the
wife, in consequence of her innate disposition, cannot do otherwise than
convert self-love, as existing with the man, into his love to herself;
and I have been informed, that this is effected by virtue of the wife's
love itself, neither the man nor the wife being conscious of it: hence,
no man can possibly love his wife with true conjugial love, who from a
principle of self-love is vain and conceited of his own intelligence.
When this arcanum relating to the creation of the woman from the man, is
understood, it may then be seen, that the woman in like manner is as it
were created or formed from the man in marriage; and that this is
effected by the wife, or rather through her by the Lord, who imparts
inclinations to women whereby they produce such an effect: for the wife
receives into herself the image of a man, and thereby appropriates to
herself his affections, as may be seen above, n. 183; and conjoins the
man's internal will with her own, of which we shall treat presently; and
also claims to herself the propagated forms (_propagines_) of his soul,
of which also we shall speak elsewhere. From these considerations it is
evident, that, according to the description in the book of Genesis,
interiorly understood, a woman is formed into a wife by such things as
she takes out of the husband and his breast, and implants in herself.

SLEPT. It is written in the book of Genesis, that Jehovah God caused a
deep sleep to fall upon Adam, so that he slept; and that then he took
one of his ribs, and builded it into a woman: chap. ii. 21, 22. That by
the man's sleep and sleeping is signified his entire ignorance that the
wife is formed and as it were created from him, appears from what was
shewn in the preceding chapter, and also from the innate prudence and
circumspection of wives, not to divulge anything concerning their love,
or their assumption of the affections of the man's life, and thereby of
the transfer of his wisdom into themselves. That this is effected on the
part of the wife without the husband's knowledge, and while he is as it
were sleeping, thus by secret means, is evident from what was explained
above, n. 166-168; where also it is clearly shewn, that the prudence
with which women are influenced herein, was implanted in them from
creation, and consequently from their birth, for reasons of necessity,
so that conjugial love, friendship, and confidence, and thereby the
blessedness of dwelling together and a happy life, may be secured:
wherefore for the right accomplishing of this, the man is enjoined to
_leave his father and mother and to cleave to his wife_, Gen. ii. 24;
Matt. xix. 4, 5. The father and mother, whom the man is to leave, in a
spiritual sense signify his _proprium_ of will and _proprium_ of
understanding; and the _proprium_ of a man's (_homo_) will is to love
himself, and the _proprium_ of his understanding is to love his own
wisdom; and to cleave to his wife signifies to devote himself to the
love of his wife. Those two _propriums_ are deadly evils to man, if they
remain with him, and the love of those two _propriums_ is changed into
conjugial love, so far as a man cleaves to his wife, that is, so far as
he receives her love; see above, n. 193, and elsewhere. To sleep
signifies to be in ignorance and unconcern; a father and a mother
signify the two _propriums_ of a man (_homo_), the one of the will and
the other of the understanding; and to cleave to, signifies to devote
one's self to the love of any one, as might be abundantly confirmed from
passages in other parts of the Word; but this would be foreign to our
present subject.

man possesses rational and moral wisdom, and that the wife conjoins
herself with those things which relate to his moral wisdom, may be seen
above, n. 163-165. The things which relate to rational wisdom constitute
the man's understanding, and those which relate to moral wisdom
constitute his will. The wife conjoins herself with those things which
constitute the man's will. It is the same, whether we say that the wife
conjoins herself, or that she conjoins her will to the man's will;
because she is born under the influence of the will, and consequently in
all her actions acts from the will. The reason why it is said _with the
man's internal will_, is, because the man's will resides in his
understanding, and the man's intellectual principle is the inmost
principle of the woman, according to what was observed above concerning
the formation of the woman from the man, n. 32, and in other places. The
man has also an external will; but this frequently takes its tincture
from simulation and dissimulation. This will the wife notices; but she
does not conjoin herself with it, except pretendedly or in the way of

THAT THUS BOTH MAY BECOME ONE MAN (_homo_): for whoever conjoins to
himself the will of another, also conjoins to himself his understanding;
for the understanding regarded in itself is merely the minister and
servant of the will. That this is the case, appears evidently from the
affection of love, which moves the understanding to think as it directs.
Every affection of love belongs to the will; for what a man loves that
he also wills. From these considerations it follows, that whoever
conjoins to himself the will of a man conjoins to himself the whole man:
hence it is implanted as a principle in the wife's love to unite the
will of her husband to her own will; for hereby the wife becomes the
husband's, and the husband the wife's; thus both become one man

the two preceding, because affections are of the will; for affections
which are merely derivations of the love, form the will, and make and
compose it; but these affections with men are in the understanding,
whereas with women they are in the will.

This coincides with what was explained above, n. 172, 173, therefore any
further explanation is needless. Conjugial delights with wives arise
solely from their desire to be one with their husbands, as good is one
with truth in the spiritual marriage. That conjugial love descends from
this spiritual marriage, has been proved above in the chapter which
treats particularly on that subject; hence it may be seen, as in an
image, that the wife conjoins the man to herself, as good conjoins truth
to itself; and that the man reciprocally conjoins himself to the wife,
according to the reception of her love in himself, as truth reciprocally
conjoins itself to good, according to the reception of good in itself;
and that thus the love of the wife forms itself by the wisdom of the
husband, as good forms itself by truth; for truth is the form of good.
From these considerations it is also evident, that conjugial delights
with the wife originate principally in her desiring to be one with the
husband, consequently to be the love of her husband's wisdom; for in
such case she is made sensible of the delights of her own heat in the
man's light, according to what was explained in Article IV., n. 188.

HUSBAND. This flows as a consequence, from what has been said above in
this and the foregoing chapter respecting the conjunction of married
partners into one flesh. A maiden becomes or is made a wife, because in
a wife there are principles taken out of the husband, and therefore
supplemental, which were not previously in her as a maiden: a youth also
becomes or is made a husband, because in a husband there are principles
taken out of the wife, which exalt his receptibility of love and wisdom,
and which were not previously in him as a youth: this is the case with
those who are principled in love truly conjugial. That it is these who
feel themselves a united man (_homo_), and as it were one flesh, may be
seen in the preceding chapter, n. 178. From these considerations it is
evident, that with females the maiden principle is changed into that of
a wife, and with men the youthful principle is changed into that of a
husband. That this is the case, was experimentally confirmed to me in
the spiritual world, as follows: Some men asserted, that conjunction
with a female before marriage is like conjunction with a wife after
marriage.--On hearing this, the wives were very indignant, and said:
"There is no likeness at all in the two cases. The difference between
them is like that between what is fancied and what is real." Hereupon
the men rejoined, "Are you not females as before?" To this the wives
replied more sharply, "We are not females, but wives; you are in fancied
and not in real love; you therefore talk fancifully." Then the men said,
"If you are not females (_feminae_) still you are women (_mulieres_):"
and they replied, "In the first states of marriage we were women
(_mulieres_); but now we are wives."

THE HUSBAND MORE AND MORE A HUSBAND. That love truly conjugial more and
more conjoins two into one man (_homo_), may be seen above n. 178, 179;
and as a wife becomes a wife from and according to conjunction with the
husband, and in like manner the husband with the wife; and as love truly
conjugial endures to eternity, it follows, that the wife becomes more
and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. The true
reason of this is, because in the marriage of love truly conjugial, each
married partner becomes continually a more interior man; for that love
opens the interiors of their minds; and as these are opened, a man
becomes more and more a man (_homo_): and to become more a man (_homo_)
in the case of the wife is to become more a wife, and in the case of the
husband to become more a husband. I have heard from the angels, that the
wife becomes more and more a wife as the husband becomes more and more a
husband, but not _vice versa_; because it rarely, if ever, happens, that
a chaste wife is wanting in love to her husband, but that the husband is
wanting in a return of love to his wife; and that this return of love is
wanting because he has no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the
love of the wife: respecting this wisdom see above n. 130, 163-165.
These things however they said in regard to marriages on earth.

FROM WITHIN. The most perfect and noble human form results from the
conjunction of two forms by marriage so as to become one form; thus from
two fleshes becoming one flesh, according to creation. That in such case
the man's mind is elevated into superior light, and the wife's into
superior heat, and that then they germinate, and bear flowers and
fruits, like trees in the spring, may be seen above, n. 188, 189. That
from the nobleness of this form are produced noble fruits, which in the
heavens are spiritual, and on earth natural, will be seen in the
following article.

WISDOM TEACHES. That children derive from their parents inclination to
such things as had been objects of the love and life of the parents, is
a truth most perfectly agreeable to the testimony of history in general,
and of experience in particular; but that they do not derive or inherit
from their parents the affections themselves, and thence the lives of
those affections, but only inclinations and faculties thereto, has been
shewn me by the wise in the spiritual world; concerning whom, see the
two MEMORABLE RELATIONS above adduced. That children to the latest
posterity, from innate inclinations, if they are not modified, are led
into affections, thoughts, speech, and life, similar to those of their
parents, is clearly manifest from the Jews, who at this day are like
their fathers in Egypt, in the wilderness, in the land of Canaan, and in
the Lord's time; and this likeness is not confined to their minds only,
but extends to their countenances; for who does not know a Jew by his
look? The case is the same with the descendants of others: from which
considerations it may infallibly be concluded, that children are born
with inclinations to such things as their parents were inclined to. But
it is of the divine providence, lest thought and act should follow
inclination, that perverse inclinations may be corrected; and also that
a faculty has been implanted for this purpose, by virtue whereof parents
and masters have the power of amending the morals of children, and
children may afterwards, when they come to years of discretion, amend
their own morals.

203. We have said that children derive from their parents the conjugial
principle of good and truth, because this is implanted from creation in
the soul of every one; for it is that which flows into every man from
the Lord, and constitutes his human life. But this conjugial principle
passes into derivatives from the soul even to the ultimates of the body.
In its passage through these ultimates and those derivatives, it is
changed by the man himself in various ways, and sometimes into the
opposite, which is called the conjugial or connubial principle of what
is evil and false. When this is the case, the mind is closed from
beneath, and is sometimes twisted as a spire into the contrary; but with
some that principle is not closed, but remains half-open above, and with
some open. The latter and the former conjugial principle is the source
of those inclinations which children inherit from their parents, a son
after one manner, and a daughter after another. The reason why such
inclinations are derived from the conjugial principle, is, because, as
was proved above, n. 65, conjugial love is the foundation of all loves.

204. The reason why children born of parents who are principled in love
truly conjugial, derive inclinations and faculties, if a son, to
perceive the things relating to wisdom, and if a daughter, to love the
things which wisdom teaches, is, because the conjugial principle of good
and truth is implanted from creation in every soul, and also in the
principles derived from the soul; for it was shewn above, that this
conjugial principle fills the universe from first principles to last,
and from a man even to a worm; and also that the faculty to open the
inferior principles of the mind even to conjunction with its superior
principles, which are in the light and heat of heaven, is also implanted
in every man from creation: hence it is evident, that a superior
suitableness and facility to conjoin good to truth, and truth to good,
and thus to grow wise, is inherited by those who are born from such a
marriage; consequently they have a superior suitableness and facility
also to embrace the things relating to the church and heaven; for that
conjugial love is conjoined with these things, has been frequently shewn
above. From these considerations, reason may clearly discover the end
for which the Lord the Creator has provided, and still provides,
marriages of love truly conjugial.

205. I have been informed by the angels, that those who lived in the
most ancient times, live at this day in the heavens, in separate houses,
families, and nations, as they had lived on earth, and that scarce any
one of a house is wanting; and this because they were principled in love
truly conjugial; and that hence their children inherited inclinations to
the conjugial principle of good and truth, and were easily initiated
into it more and more interiorly by education received from their
parents, and afterwards as from themselves, when they become capable of
judging for themselves, were introduced into it by the Lord.

a doubt that the soul is from the father; it is also manifestly
conspicuous from minds, and likewise from faces which are the types of
minds, in descendants from fathers of families in a regular series; for
the father returns as in an image, if not in his sons, yet in his
grandsons and great grandsons; and this because the soul constitutes a
man's (_homo_) inmost principle, which may be covered and concealed by
the offspring nearest in descent, but nevertheless it comes forth and
manifests itself in the more remote issue. That the soul is from the
father, and its clothing from the mother, may be illustrated by
analogies in the vegetable kingdom. In this kingdom the earth or ground
is the common mother, which in itself, as in a womb, receives and
clothes seeds; yea, as it were conceives, bears, brings forth, and
educates them, as a mother her offspring from the father.

207. To the above I will add TWO MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. After some
time I was looking towards the city Athens, of which mention was made in
a former memorable relation, and I heard thence an unusual clamor. There
was in it something of laughter, and in the laughter something of
indignation, and in the indignation something of sadness: still however
the clamor was not thereby dissonant, but consonant: because one tone
was not together with the other, but one was within another. In the
spiritual world a variety and commixture of affections is distinctly
perceived in sound. I inquired from afar what was the matter. They said,
"A messenger is arrived from the place where the new comers from the
Christian world first appear, bringing information of what he has heard
there from three persons, that in the world whence they came they had
believed with the generality, that the blessed and happy after death
enjoy absolute rest from labor; and since administrations, offices, and
employments, are labor, they enjoy rest from these: and as those three
persons are now conducted hither by our emissary, and are at the gate
waiting for admission, a clamor was made, and it was deliberately
resolved they should not be introduced into the Palladium on Parnassus,
as the former were, but into the great auditory, to communicate the news
they brought from the Christian world: accordingly some deputies have
been sent to introduce them in form." Being at that time myself in the
spirit, and distances with spirits being according to the states of
their affections, and having at that time a desire to see and hear them,
I seemed to myself to be present there, and saw them introduced, and
heard what they said. The seniors or wiser part of the audience sat at
the sides of the auditory, and the rest in the midst; and before these
was an elevated piece of ground. Hither the three strangers, with the
messenger, were formally conducted by attendants, through the middle of
the auditory. When silence was obtained, they were addressed by a kind
of president of the assembly, and asked, "WHAT NEWS FROM THE EARTH?"
They replied, "There is a variety of news: but pray tell us what
information you want." The president answered, "WHAT NEWS IS THERE FROM
came into this world, we were informed, that here and in heaven there
are administrations, offices, employments, trades, studies, relating to
all sciences and professions, together with wonderful mechanical arts;
and yet we believed that after our removal or translation from the
natural world into the spiritual, we should enter upon an eternal rest
from labor; and what are employments but labor?" To this the president
replied, "By eternal rest from labor did you understand eternal
inactivity, in which you should be continually sitting and laying down,
with your bosoms and mouths open, attracting and inhaling delights and
joys?" "We conceived something of this sort," said the three strangers
smiling courteously. Then they were asked, "What connection have joys
and delights and the happiness thence resulting, with a state of
inactivity? By inactivity the mind is enfeebled and contracted, instead
of being strengthened and expanded; or in other words, the man is
reduced to a state of death, instead of being quickened into life.
Suppose a person to sit still in the most complete inactivity, with his
hands hanging down, his eyes fixed on the ground, and withdrawn from all
other objects, and suppose him at the same time to be encompassed by an
atmosphere of gladness, would not a lethargy seize both his head and
body, and the vital expansion of his countenance would be contracted,
and at length with relaxed fibres he would nod and totter, till he fell
to the earth? What is it that keeps the whole bodily system in its due
expansion and tension, but the tension of the mind? and whence comes the
tension of the mind but from administrations and employments, while the
discharge of them is attended with delight? I will therefore tell you
some news from heaven: in that world there are administrations, offices,
judicial proceedings both in greater and lesser cases, also mechanical
arts and employments." The strangers on hearing of judicial proceedings
in heaven, said, "To what purpose are such proceedings? are not all in
heaven inspired and led by God, and in consequence thereof taught what
is just and right? what need then is there of judges?" The president
replied, "In this world we are instructed and learn what is good and
true, also what is just and equitable, as in the natural world; and
these things we learn, not immediately from God, but mediately through
others; and every angel, like every man, thinks what is true, and does
what is good, as from himself; and this, according to the state of the
angel, is mixed and not pure: and moreover, there are among the angels
some of a simple and some of a wise character; and it is the part of the
wise to judge, when the simple, from their simplicity and ignorance, are
doubtful about what is just, or through mistake wander from it. But as
you are as yet strangers in this world, if it be agreeable to you to
accompany me into our city, we will shew you all that is contained
therein." Then they quitted the auditory, and some of the elders also
accompanied them. They were introduced into a large library, which was
divided into classes arranged according to the sciences. The three
strangers, on seeing so many books, were astonished, and said, "There
are books also in this world! whence do you procure parchment and paper,
pens and ink?" The elders replied, "We perceive that in the former world
you believed that this world is empty and void, because it is spiritual;
and you believed so because you had conceived an idea of what is
spiritual abstracted from what is material; and that which is so
abstracted appeared to you as nothingness, thus as empty and void; when
nevertheless in this world there is a fulness of all things. Here all
things are SUBSTANTIAL and not material: and material things derive
their origin from things substantial. We who live here are spiritual
men, because we are substantial and not material; hence in this world we
have all things that are in the natural world, in their perfection, even
books and writings, and many other things which are not in the natural
world." The three strangers, when they heard talk of things SUBSTANTIAL,
conceived that it must be so, as well because they saw written books, as
because they heard it asserted that material things originate in
substantial. For their further confirmation in these particulars, they
were conducted to the houses of the scribes, who were copying the
writings of the wise ones of the city; and they inspected the writings,
and wondered to see them so beautiful and elegant. After this they were
conducted to the museums, schools, and colleges, and to the places where
they had their literary sports. Some of these were called the sports of
the Heliconides, some of the Parnassides, some of the Athaeides, and some
the sports of the maidens of the fountain. They were told that the
latter were so called, because maidens signify affections of the
sciences, and every one has intelligence according to his affection for
the sciences: the sports so called were spiritual exercises and trials
of skill. Afterwards they were led about the city to see the rulers,
administrators, and their officers, by whom they were conducted to see
several wonderful works executed in a spiritual manner by the
artificers. When they had taken a view of all these things, the
president again conversed with them about the eternal rest from labor,
into which the blessed and happy enter after death, and said, "Eternal
rest is not inactivity; for inactivity occasions a thorough languor,
dulness, stupor, and drowsiness of the mind and thence of the body; and
these things are death and not life, still less eternal life which the
angels of heaven enjoy; therefore eternal rest is that which dispels
such mischiefs, and causes a man to live; and it is this which elevates
the mind; consequently it is by some employment and work that the mind
is excited, vivified, and delighted; which is affected according to the
use, from which, in which, and to which the mind is actuated. Hence the
universal heaven is regarded by the Lord as containing uses; and every
angel is an angel according to use; the delight of use carries him
along, as a prosperous gale a ship, and causes him to be in eternal
peace, and the rest of peace. This is the meaning of eternal rest from
labor. That an angel is alive according as his mind is directed to use,
is evident from the consideration, that every one has conjugial love
with its energy, ability and delights, according as he devotes himself
to the genuine use in which he is." When the three strangers were
convinced that eternal rest is not inactivity, but the delight of some
useful employment, there came some maidens with pieces of embroidery and
net-work, wrought with their own hands, which they presented to them.
When the novitiate spirits were gone, the maidens sang an ode, wherein
they expressed with angelic melody the affection of useful works with
the pleasures attending it.

208. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. While I was meditating on the arcana
of conjugial love stored up with wives, there again appeared the GOLDEN
SHOWER described above; and I recollected that it fell over a hall in
the east where there lived three conjugial loves, that is, three married
pairs, who loved each other tenderly. On seeing it, and as if invited by
the sweetness of meditating on that love, I hastened towards it, and as
I approached, the shower from golden became purple, afterwards scarlet,
and when I came near, it was sparkling like dew. I knocked at the door,
and when it was opened, I said to the attendant, "Tell the husbands that
the person who before came with an angel, is come again, and begs the
favor of being admitted into their company." Presently the attendant
returned with a message of assent from the husbands, and I entered. The
three husbands with their wives were together in an open gallery, and as
I paid my respects to them, they returned the compliment. I then asked
the wives, Whether the white dove in the window afterwards appeared?
They said, "Yes; and to-day also; and it likewise expanded its wings;
from which we concluded that you were near at hand, and were desirous of
information respecting one other arcanum concerning conjugial love." I
inquired, "Why do you say _one_ arcanum; when I came here to learn
several?" They replied, "They are arcana, and some of them transcend
your wisdom to such a degree, that the understanding of your thought
cannot comprehend them. You glory over us on account of your wisdom; but
we do not glory over you on account of ours; and yet ours is eminently
distinguished above yours, because it enters your inclinations and
affections, and sees, perceives, and is sensible of them. You know
nothing at all of the inclinations and affections of your own love; and
yet these are the principles from and according to which your
understanding thinks, consequently from and according to which you are
wise; and yet wives are so well acquainted with those principles in
their husbands, that they see them in their faces, and hear them from
the tone of their voices in conversation, yea, they feel them on their
breasts, arms, and cheeks: but we, from the zeal of our love for your
happiness, and at the same time for our own, pretend not to know them;
and yet we govern them so prudently, that wherever the fancy, good
pleasure, and will of our husbands lead, we follow by permitting and
suffering it; only bending its direction when it is possible, but in no
case forcing it." I asked, "Whence have you this wisdom?" They replied,
"It is implanted in us from creation and consequently from birth. Our
husbands compare it to instinct; but we say that it is of the divine
providence, in order that the men may be rendered happy by their wives.
We have heard from our husbands, that the Lord wills that the husband
(_homo masculus_) should act freely according to reason; and that on
this account the Lord himself from within governs his freedom, so far as
respects the inclinations and affections, and governs it from without by
means of his wife; and that thus he forms a man with his wife into an
angel of heaven; and moreover love changes its essence, and does not
become conjugial love, if it be compelled. But we will be more explicit
on this subject: we are moved thereto, that is, to prudence in governing
the inclinations and affections of our husbands, so that they may seem
to themselves to act freely according to their reason, from this motive,
because we are delighted with their love; and we love nothing more than
that they should be delighted with our delights, which, in case of their
being lightly esteemed by our husbands, become insipid also to us."
Having said this, one of the wives entered her chamber, and on her
return said, "My dove still flutters its wings, which is a sign that we
may make further disclosures." They then said, "We have observed various
changes of the inclinations and affections of the men; as that they grow
cold towards their wives, while the husbands entertain vain thoughts
against the Lord and the church; that they grow cold while they are
conceited of their own intelligence; that they grow cold while they
regard with desire the wives of others; that they grow cold while their
love is adverted to by their wives; not to mention other occasions; and
that there are various degrees of their coldness: this we discover from
a withdrawal of the sense from their eyes, ears, and bodies, on the
presence of our senses. From these few observations you may see, that we
know better than the men whether it be well or ill with them; if they
are cold towards their wives, it is ill with them, but if they are warm
towards them, it is well; therefore wives are continually devising means
whereby the men may become warm and not cold towards them; and these
means they devise with a sagacity inscrutable to the men." As they said
this, the dove was heard to make a sort of moaning; and immediately the
wives said, "This is a token to us that we have a wish to communicate
greater arcana, but that it is not allowable: probably you will reveal
to the men what you have heard." I replied, "I intend to do so: what
harm can come from it?" Hereupon the wives talked together on the
subject, and then said, "Reveal it, if you like. We are well aware of
the power of persuasion which wives possess. They will say to their
husbands, 'The man is not in earnest; he tells idle tales: he is but
joking from appearances, and from strange fancies usual with men. Do not
believe him, but believe us: we know that you are loves, and we
obediences.' Therefore you may reveal it if you like; but still the
husbands will place no dependence on what comes from your lips, but on
that which comes from the lips of their wives which they kiss."

* * * * *


209. There are so many things relating to marriages that, if
particularly treated of, they would swell this little work into a large
volume: for we might treat particularly of the similitude and
dissimilitude subsisting among married partners; of the elevation of
natural conjugial love into spiritual, and of their conjunction; of the
increase of the one and the decrease of the other; of the varieties and
diversities of each; of the intelligence of wives; of the universal
conjugial sphere proceeding from heaven, and of its opposite from hell,
and of their influx and reception; with many other particulars, which,
if individually enlarged upon, would render this work so bulky as to
tire the reader. For this reason, and to avoid useless prolixity, we
will condense these particulars into UNIVERSAL RESPECTING MARRIAGES. But
these, like the foregoing subjects, must be considered distinctly as
arranged under the following articles: I. _The sense proper to conjugial
love is the sense of touch._ II. _With those who are in love truly
conjugial, the faculty of growing wise gradually increases; but with
those who are not it decreases._ III. _With those who are in love truly
conjugial the happiness of dwelling together increases; but with those
who are not it decreases._ IV. _With those who are in love truly
conjugial, conjunction of minds increases, and therewith friendship; but
with those who are not they both decrease._ V. _Those who are in love
truly conjugial continually desire to be one man (homo); but those who
are not desire to be two._ VI. _Those who are in love truly conjugial,
in marriage have respect to what is eternal; but with those who are not
the case is reversed._ VII. _Conjugial love resides with chaste wives;
but still their love depends on the husbands._ VIII. _Wives love the
bonds of marriage if the men do._ IX. _The intelligence of women is in
itself modest, elegant, pacific, yielding, soft, tender; but the
intelligence of men is in itself grave, harsh, hard, daring, fond of
licentiousness_. X. _Wives are in no excitation as men are; but they
have a state of preparation for reception._ XI. _Men have abundant store
according to the love of propagating the truths of their wisdom, and to
the love of doing uses._ XII. _Determination is in the good pleasure of
the husband._ XIII. _The conjugial sphere flows from the Lord through
heaven into everything in the universe, even to its ultimates._ XIV.
_This sphere is received by the female sex, and through that is
transferred into the male sex; and not_ vice versa. XV. _Where there is
love truly conjugial, this sphere is received by the wife, and only
through her by the husband._ XVI. _Where there is love not conjugial,
this sphere is received indeed by the wife, but not by the husband
through her._ XVII. _Love truly conjugial may exist with one of the
married partners and not at the same time with the other._ XVIII. _There
are various similitudes and dissimilitudes, both internal and external,
with married partners._ XIX. _Various similitudes can be conjoined, but
not with dissimilitudes._ XX. _The Lord provides similitudes for those
who desire love truly conjugial; and if not on earth, he yet provides
them in heaven._ XXI. _A man (homo) according to the deficiency and loss
of conjugial love, approaches to the nature of a beast._ We proceed to
the explanation of each article.

love has its own proper sense. The love of seeing, grounded in the love
of understanding, has the sense of seeing; and the gratifications proper
to it are the various kinds of symmetry and beauty. The love of hearing
grounded in the love of hearkening to and obeying, has the sense of
hearing; and the gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of
harmony. The love of knowing these things which float about in the air,
grounded in the love of perceiving, is the sense of smelling; and the
gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of fragrance. The love
of self-nourishment, grounded in the love of imbibing goods, is the
sense of tasting; and the delights proper to it are the various kinds of
delicate foods. The love of knowing objects, grounded in the love of
circumspection and self-preservation, is the sense of touching, and the
gratifications proper to it are the various kinds of titillation. The
reason why the love of conjunction with a partner, grounded in the love
of uniting good and truth, has the sense of touch proper to it, is,
because this sense is common to all the senses, and hence borrows from
them somewhat of support and nourishment. That this love brings all the
above-mentioned senses into communion with it, and appropriates their
gratification, is well known. That the sense of touch is devoted to
conjugial love, and is proper to it, is evident from all its sports, and
from the exaltation of its subtleties to the highest degree of what is
exquisite. But the further consideration of this subject we leave to

faculty of growing wise increases with those who are in love truly
conjugial, because this love appertains to married partners on account
of wisdom, and according to it, as has been fully proved in the
preceding sections; also, because the sense of that love is the touch,
which is common to all the senses, and also is full of delights; in
consequence of which it opens the interiors of the mind, as it opens the
interiors of the senses, and therewith the organical principles of the
whole body. Hence it follows, that those who are principled in that
love, prefer nothing to growing wise; for a man grows wise in proportion
as the interiors of his mind are opened; because by such opening, the
thoughts of the understanding are elevated into superior light, and the
affections of the will into superior heat; and superior light is wisdom,
and superior heat is the love thereof. Spiritual delights conjoined to
natural delights, which are the portion of those who are in love truly
conjugial, constitute loveliness, and thence the faculty of growing
wise. Hence it is that the angels have conjugial love according to
wisdom; and the increase of that love and at the same time of its
delights is according to the increase of wisdom; and spiritual
offspring, which are produced from their marriages, are such things as
are of wisdom from the father, and of love from the mother, which they
love from a spiritual _storge_; which love unites with their conjugial
love, and continually elevates it, and joins them together.

212. The contrary happens with those who are not in any conjugial love,
from not having any love of wisdom. These enter the marriage state with
no other end in view than lasciviousness, in which is also the love of
growing insane; for every end considered in itself is a love, and
lasciviousness in its spiritual origin is insanity. By insanity we mean
a delirium in the mind occasioned by false principles; and an eminent
degree of delirium is occasioned by truths which are falsified until
they are believed to be wisdom. That such persons are opposed to
conjugial love, is confirmed or evinced by manifest proof in the
spiritual world; where, on perceiving the first scent of conjugial love,
they fly into caverns, and shut the doors; and if these are opened, they
rave like madmen in the world.

The happiness of dwelling together increases with those who are in love
truly conjugial, because they mutually love each other with every sense.
The wife sees nothing more lovely than the husband, and the husband
nothing more lovely than the wife; neither do they hear, smell, or touch

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