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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare As You Like It

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SCENE:
OLIVER'S house; FREDERICK'S court; and the Forest of Arden

ACT I. SCENE I.
Orchard of OLIVER'S house

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

ORLANDO. As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion
bequeathed
me by will but poor a thousand crowns, and, as thou say'st,
charged my brother, on his blessing, to breed me well; and
there
begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and
report speaks goldenly of his profit. For my part, he keeps
me
rustically at home, or, to speak more properly, stays me here
at
home unkept; for call you that keeping for a gentleman of my
birth that differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses
are
bred better; for, besides that they are fair with their
feeding,
they are taught their manage, and to that end riders dearly
hir'd; but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but growth;
for
the which his animals on his dunghills are as much bound to
him
as I. Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives me,
the
something that nature gave me his countenance seems to take
from
me. He lets me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a
brother, and as much as in him lies, mines my gentility with
my
education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me; and the spirit
of
my father, which I think is within me, begins to mutiny
against
this servitude. I will no longer endure it, though yet I know
no
wise remedy how to avoid it.

Enter OLIVER

ADAM. Yonder comes my master, your brother.
ORLANDO. Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake
me
up. [ADAM retires]
OLIVER. Now, sir! what make you here?
ORLANDO. Nothing; I am not taught to make any thing.
OLIVER. What mar you then, sir?
ORLANDO. Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that which God
made, a
poor unworthy brother of yours, with idleness.
OLIVER. Marry, sir, be better employed, and be nought awhile.
ORLANDO. Shall I keep your hogs, and eat husks with them? What
prodigal portion have I spent that I should come to such
penury?
OLIVER. Know you where you are, sir?
ORLANDO. O, sir, very well; here in your orchard.
OLIVER. Know you before whom, sir?
ORLANDO. Ay, better than him I am before knows me. I know you
are
my eldest brother; and in the gentle condition of blood, you
should so know me. The courtesy of nations allows you my
better
in that you are the first-born; but the same tradition takes
not
away my blood, were there twenty brothers betwixt us. I have
as
much of my father in me as you, albeit I confess your coming
before me is nearer to his reverence.
OLIVER. What, boy! [Strikes him]
ORLANDO. Come, come, elder brother, you are too young in this.
OLIVER. Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain?
ORLANDO. I am no villain; I am the youngest son of Sir Rowland
de
Boys. He was my father; and he is thrice a villain that says
such
a father begot villains. Wert thou not my brother, I would
not
take this hand from thy throat till this other had pull'd out
thy
tongue for saying so. Thou has rail'd on thyself.
ADAM. [Coming forward] Sweet masters, be patient; for your
father's
remembrance, be at accord.
OLIVER. Let me go, I say.
ORLANDO. I will not, till I please; you shall hear me. My
father
charg'd you in his will to give me good education: you have
train'd me like a peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all
gentleman-like qualities. The spirit of my father grows
strong in
me, and I will no longer endure it; therefore allow me such
exercises as may become a gentleman, or give me the poor
allottery my father left me by testament; with that I will go
buy
my fortunes.
OLIVER. And what wilt thou do? Beg, when that is spent? Well,
sir,
get you in. I will not long be troubled with you; you shall
have
some part of your will. I pray you leave me.
ORLANDO. I no further offend you than becomes me for my good.
OLIVER. Get you with him, you old dog.
ADAM. Is 'old dog' my reward? Most true, I have lost my teeth
in
your service. God be with my old master! He would not have
spoke
such a word.
Exeunt ORLANDO and ADAM
OLIVER. Is it even so? Begin you to grow upon me? I will physic
your rankness, and yet give no thousand crowns neither.
Holla,
Dennis!

Enter DENNIS

DENNIS. Calls your worship?
OLIVER. Was not Charles, the Duke's wrestler, here to speak
with
me?
DENNIS. So please you, he is here at the door and importunes
access
to you.
OLIVER. Call him in. [Exit DENNIS] 'Twill be a good way; and
to-morrow the wrestling is.

Enter CHARLES

CHARLES. Good morrow to your worship.
OLIVER. Good Monsieur Charles! What's the new news at the new
court?
CHARLES. There's no news at the court, sir, but the old news;
that
is, the old Duke is banished by his younger brother the new
Duke;
and three or four loving lords have put themselves into
voluntary
exile with him, whose lands and revenues enrich the new Duke;
therefore he gives them good leave to wander.
OLIVER. Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke's daughter, be
banished
with her father?
CHARLES. O, no; for the Duke's daughter, her cousin, so loves
her,
being ever from their cradles bred together, that she would
have
followed her exile, or have died to stay behind her. She is
at
the court, and no less beloved of her uncle than his own
daughter; and never two ladies loved as they do.
OLIVER. Where will the old Duke live?
CHARLES. They say he is already in the Forest of Arden, and a
many
merry men with him; and there they live like the old Robin
Hood
of England. They say many young gentlemen flock to him every
day,
and fleet the time carelessly, as they did in the golden
world.
OLIVER. What, you wrestle to-morrow before the new Duke?
CHARLES. Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint you with a
matter. I am given, sir, secretly to understand that your
younger
brother, Orlando, hath a disposition to come in disguis'd
against
me to try a fall. To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my credit;
and he
that escapes me without some broken limb shall acquit him
well.
Your brother is but young and tender; and, for your love, I
would
be loath to foil him, as I must, for my own honour, if he
come
in; therefore, out of my love to you, I came hither to
acquaint
you withal, that either you might stay him from his
intendment,
or brook such disgrace well as he shall run into, in that it
is
thing of his own search and altogether against my will.
OLIVER. Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, which thou
shalt
find I will most kindly requite. I had myself notice of my
brother's purpose herein, and have by underhand means
laboured to
dissuade him from it; but he is resolute. I'll tell thee,
Charles, it is the stubbornest young fellow of France; full
of
ambition, an envious emulator of every man's good parts, a
secret
and villainous contriver against me his natural brother.
Therefore use thy discretion: I had as lief thou didst break
his
neck as his finger. And thou wert best look to't; for if thou
dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily grace
himself on thee, he will practise against thee by poison,
entrap
thee by some treacherous device, and never leave thee till he
hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or other; for, I
assure thee, and almost with tears I speak it, there is not
one
so young and so villainous this day living. I speak but
brotherly
of him; but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must
blush
and weep, and thou must look pale and wonder.
CHARLES. I am heartily glad I came hither to you. If he come
to-morrow I'll give him his payment. If ever he go alone
again,
I'll never wrestle for prize more. And so, God keep your
worship!
Exit
OLIVER. Farewell, good Charles. Now will I stir this gamester.
I
hope I shall see an end of him; for my soul, yet I know not
why,
hates nothing more than he. Yet he's gentle; never school'd
and
yet learned; full of noble device; of all sorts enchantingly
beloved; and, indeed, so much in the heart of the world, and
especially of my own people, who best know him, that I am
altogether misprised. But it shall not be so long; this
wrestler
shall clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindle the boy
thither, which now I'll go about. Exit

<SHAKESPEARE IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 BY WORLD LIBRARY, INC., AND IS
PROVIDED BY PROJECT GUTENBERG ETEXT OF CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY
WITH PERMISSION. ELECTRONIC AND MACHINE READABLE COPIES MAY BE
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SCENE II.
A lawn before the DUKE'S palace

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA

CELIA. I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
ROSALIND. Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of;
and
would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to
forget
a banished father, you must not learn me how to remember any
extraordinary pleasure.
CELIA. Herein I see thou lov'st me not with the full weight
that I
love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father, had banished thy
uncle, the Duke my father, so thou hadst been still with me,
I
could have taught my love to take thy father for mine; so
wouldst
thou, if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously
temper'd
as mine is to thee.
ROSALIND. Well, I will forget the condition of my estate, to
rejoice in yours.
CELIA. You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is like
to
have; and, truly, when he dies thou shalt be his heir; for
what
he hath taken away from thy father perforce, I will render
thee
again in affection. By mine honour, I will; and when I break
that
oath, let me turn monster; therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear
Rose, be merry.
ROSALIND. From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports.
Let me see; what think you of falling in love?
CELIA. Marry, I prithee, do, to make sport withal; but love no
man
in good earnest, nor no further in sport neither than with
safety
of a pure blush thou mayst in honour come off again.
ROSALIND. What shall be our sport, then?
CELIA. Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her
wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.
ROSALIND. I would we could do so; for her benefits are mightily
misplaced; and the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in
her
gifts to women.
CELIA. 'Tis true; for those that she makes fair she scarce
makes
honest; and those that she makes honest she makes very
ill-favouredly.
ROSALIND. Nay; now thou goest from Fortune's office to
Nature's:
Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments
of
Nature.

Enter TOUCHSTONE

CELIA. No; when Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit
to
flout at Fortune, hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut
off
the argument?
ROSALIND. Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when
Fortune makes Nature's natural the cutter-off of Nature's
wit.
CELIA. Peradventure this is not Fortune's work neither, but
Nature's, who perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason
of
such goddesses, and hath sent this natural for our whetstone;
for
always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
How
now, wit! Whither wander you?
TOUCHSTONE. Mistress, you must come away to your father.
CELIA. Were you made the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE. No, by mine honour; but I was bid to come for you.
ROSALIND. Where learned you that oath, fool?
TOUCHSTONE. Of a certain knight that swore by his honour they
were
good pancakes, and swore by his honour the mustard was
naught.
Now I'll stand to it, the pancakes were naught and the
mustard
was good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.
CELIA. How prove you that, in the great heap of your knowledge?
ROSALIND. Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE. Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and
swear
by your beards that I am a knave.
CELIA. By our beards, if we had them, thou art.
TOUCHSTONE. By my knavery, if I had it, then I were. But if you
swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn; no more was
this
knight, swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if
he
had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancackes
or
that mustard.
CELIA. Prithee, who is't that thou mean'st?
TOUCHSTONE. One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
CELIA. My father's love is enough to honour him. Enough, speak
no
more of him; you'll be whipt for taxation one of these days.
TOUCHSTONE. The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what
wise
men do foolishly.
CELIA. By my troth, thou sayest true; for since the little wit
that
fools have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men
have
makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.

Enter LE BEAU

ROSALIND. With his mouth full of news.
CELIA. Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
ROSALIND. Then shall we be news-cramm'd.
CELIA. All the better; we shall be the more marketable. Bon
jour,
Monsieur Le Beau. What's the news?
LE BEAU. Fair Princess, you have lost much good sport.
CELIA. Sport! of what colour?
LE BEAU. What colour, madam? How shall I answer you?
ROSALIND. As wit and fortune will.
TOUCHSTONE. Or as the Destinies decrees.
CELIA. Well said; that was laid on with a trowel.
TOUCHSTONE. Nay, if I keep not my rank-
ROSALIND. Thou losest thy old smell.
LE BEAU. You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good
wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.
ROSALIND. Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
LE BEAU. I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please your

ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do;
and
here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.
CELIA. Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried.
LE BEAU. There comes an old man and his three sons-
CELIA. I could match this beginning with an old tale.
LE BEAU. Three proper young men, of excellent growth and
presence.
ROSALIND. With bills on their necks: 'Be it known unto all men by these presents'-
LE BEAU. The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the
Duke's
wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke
three of
his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him. So he
serv'd
the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old
man,
their father, making such pitiful dole over them that all the
beholders take his part with weeping.
ROSALIND. Alas!
TOUCHSTONE. But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies
have
lost?
LE BEAU. Why, this that I speak of.
TOUCHSTONE. Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first
time
that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.
CELIA. Or I, I promise thee.
ROSALIND. But is there any else longs to see this broken music
in
his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking?
Shall we
see this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU. You must, if you stay here; for here is the place
appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform
it.
CELIA. Yonder, sure, they are coming. Let us now stay and see
it.

Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, LORDS, ORLANDO,
CHARLES, and ATTENDANTS

FREDERICK. Come on; since the youth will not be entreated, his
own
peril on his forwardness.
ROSALIND. Is yonder the man?
LE BEAU. Even he, madam.
CELIA. Alas, he is too young; yet he looks successfully.
FREDERICK. How now, daughter and cousin! Are you crept hither
to
see the wrestling?
ROSALIND. Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave.
FREDERICK. You will take little delight in it, I can tell you,

there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger's
youth
I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated.
Speak to
him, ladies; see if you can move him.
CELIA. Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
FREDERICK. Do so; I'll not be by.
[DUKE FREDERICK goes apart]
LE BEAU. Monsieur the Challenger, the Princess calls for you.
ORLANDO. I attend them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND. Young man, have you challeng'd Charles the wrestler?
ORLANDO. No, fair Princess; he is the general challenger. I
come
but in, as others do, to try with him the strength of my
youth.
CELIA. Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your
years.
You have seen cruel proof of this man's strength; if you saw
yourself with your eyes, or knew yourself with your judgment,
the
fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal
enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your
own
safety and give over this attempt.
ROSALIND. Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore be
misprised: we will make it our suit to the Duke that the
wrestling might not go forward.
ORLANDO. I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts,
wherein I confess me much guilty to deny so fair and
excellent
ladies any thing. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go
with me to my trial; wherein if I be foil'd there is but one
sham'd that was never gracious; if kill'd, but one dead that
is
willing to be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have
none
to lament me; the world no injury, for in it I have nothing;
only
in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied
when
I have made it empty.
ROSALIND. The little strength that I have, I would it were with
you.
CELIA. And mine to eke out hers.
ROSALIND. Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceiv'd in you!
CELIA. Your heart's desires be with you!
CHARLES. Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous
to
lie with his mother earth?
ORLANDO. Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest
working.
FREDERICK. You shall try but one fall.
CHARLES. No, I warrant your Grace, you shall not entreat him to
a
second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.
ORLANDO. You mean to mock me after; you should not have mock'd
me
before; but come your ways.
ROSALIND. Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man!
CELIA. I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by
the
leg. [They wrestle]
ROSALIND. O excellent young man!
CELIA. If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who
should
down.
[CHARLES is thrown. Shout]
FREDERICK. No more, no more.
ORLANDO. Yes, I beseech your Grace; I am not yet well breath'd.
FREDERICK. How dost thou, Charles?
LE BEAU. He cannot speak, my lord.
FREDERICK. Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?
ORLANDO. Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de
Boys.
FREDERICK. I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
The world esteem'd thy father honourable,
But I did find him still mine enemy.
Thou shouldst have better pleas'd me with this deed,
Hadst thou descended from another house.
But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth;
I would thou hadst told me of another father.
Exeunt DUKE, train, and LE BEAU
CELIA. Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
ORLANDO. I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,
His youngest son- and would not change that calling
To be adopted heir to Frederick.
ROSALIND. My father lov'd Sir Rowland as his soul,
And all the world was of my father's mind;
Had I before known this young man his son,
I should have given him tears unto entreaties
Ere he should thus have ventur'd.
CELIA. Gentle cousin,
Let us go thank him, and encourage him;
My father's rough and envious disposition
Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserv'd;
If you do keep your promises in love
But justly as you have exceeded all promise,
Your mistress shall be happy.
ROSALIND. Gentleman, [Giving him a chain from her neck]
Wear this for me; one out of suits with fortune,
That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.
Shall we go, coz?
CELIA. Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.
ORLANDO. Can I not say 'I thank you'? My better parts
Are all thrown down; and that which here stands up
Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.
ROSALIND. He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes;
I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?
Sir, you have wrestled well, and overthrown
More than your enemies.
CELIA. Will you go, coz?
ROSALIND. Have with you. Fare you well.
Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA
ORLANDO. What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
I cannot speak to her, yet she urg'd conference.
O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!
Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.

Re-enter LE BEAU

LE BEAU. Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
To leave this place. Albeit you have deserv'd
High commendation, true applause, and love,
Yet such is now the Duke's condition
That he misconstrues all that you have done.
The Duke is humorous; what he is, indeed,
More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
ORLANDO. I thank you, sir; and pray you tell me this:
Which of the two was daughter of the Duke
That here was at the wrestling?
LE BEAU. Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners;
But yet, indeed, the smaller is his daughter;
The other is daughter to the banish'd Duke,
And here detain'd by her usurping uncle,
To keep his daughter company; whose loves
Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
But I can tell you that of late this Duke
Hath ta'en displeasure 'gainst his gentle niece,
Grounded upon no other argument
But that the people praise her for her virtues
And pity her for her good father's sake;
And, on my life, his malice 'gainst the lady
Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.
Hereafter, in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
ORLANDO. I rest much bounden to you; fare you well.
Exit LE BEAU
Thus must I from the smoke into the smother;
From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.
But heavenly Rosalind! Exit

SCENE III.
The DUKE's palace

Enter CELIA and ROSALIND

CELIA. Why, cousin! why, Rosalind! Cupid have mercy!
Not a word?
ROSALIND. Not one to throw at a dog.
CELIA. No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon
curs;
throw some of them at me; come, lame me with reasons.
ROSALIND. Then there were two cousins laid up, when the one
should
be lam'd with reasons and the other mad without any.
CELIA. But is all this for your father?
ROSALIND. No, some of it is for my child's father. O, how full
of
briers is this working-day world!
CELIA. They are but burs, cousin, thrown upon thee in holiday
foolery; if we walk not in the trodden paths, our very
petticoats
will catch them.
ROSALIND. I could shake them off my coat: these burs are in my
heart.
CELIA. Hem them away.
ROSALIND. I would try, if I could cry 'hem' and have him.
CELIA. Come, come, wrestle with thy affections.
ROSALIND. O, they take the part of a better wrestler than
myself.
CELIA. O, a good wish upon you! You will try in time, in
despite of
a fall. But, turning these jests out of service, let us talk
in
good earnest. Is it possible, on such a sudden, you should
fall
into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland's youngest son?
ROSALIND. The Duke my father lov'd his father dearly.
CELIA. Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son
dearly?
By this kind of chase I should hate him, for my father hated
his
father dearly; yet I hate not Orlando.
ROSALIND. No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.
CELIA. Why should I not? Doth he not deserve well?

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with LORDS

ROSALIND. Let me love him for that; and do you love him because
I
do. Look, here comes the Duke.
CELIA. With his eyes full of anger.
FREDERICK. Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste,
And get you from our court.
ROSALIND. Me, uncle?
FREDERICK. You, cousin.
Within these ten days if that thou beest found
So near our public court as twenty miles,
Thou diest for it.
ROSALIND. I do beseech your Grace,
Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.
If with myself I hold intelligence,
Or have acquaintance with mine own desires;
If that I do not dream, or be not frantic-
As I do trust I am not- then, dear uncle,
Never so much as in a thought unborn
Did I offend your Highness.
FREDERICK. Thus do all traitors;
If their purgation did consist in words,
They are as innocent as grace itself.
Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.
ROSALIND. Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor.
Tell me whereon the likelihood depends.
FREDERICK. Thou art thy father's daughter; there's enough.
ROSALIND. So was I when your Highness took his dukedom;
So was I when your Highness banish'd him.
Treason is not inherited, my lord;
Or, if we did derive it from our friends,
What's that to me? My father was no traitor.
Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much
To think my poverty is treacherous.
CELIA. Dear sovereign, hear me speak.
FREDERICK. Ay, Celia; we stay'd her for your sake,
Else had she with her father rang'd along.
CELIA. I did not then entreat to have her stay;
It was your pleasure, and your own remorse;
I was too young that time to value her,
But now I know her. If she be a traitor,
Why so am I: we still have slept together,
Rose at an instant, learn'd, play'd, eat together;
And wheresoe'er we went, like Juno's swans,
Still we went coupled and inseparable.
FREDERICK. She is too subtle for thee; and her smoothness,
Her very silence and her patience,
Speak to the people, and they pity her.
Thou art a fool. She robs thee of thy name;
And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous
When she is gone. Then open not thy lips.
Firm and irrevocable is my doom
Which I have pass'd upon her; she is banish'd.
CELIA. Pronounce that sentence, then, on me, my liege;
I cannot live out of her company.
FREDERICK. You are a fool. You, niece, provide yourself.
If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,
And in the greatness of my word, you die.
Exeunt DUKE and LORDS
CELIA. O my poor Rosalind! Whither wilt thou go?
Wilt thou change fathers? I will give thee mine.
I charge thee be not thou more griev'd than I am.
ROSALIND. I have more cause.
CELIA. Thou hast not, cousin.
Prithee be cheerful. Know'st thou not the Duke
Hath banish'd me, his daughter?
ROSALIND. That he hath not.
CELIA. No, hath not? Rosalind lacks, then, the love
Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one.
Shall we be sund'red? Shall we part, sweet girl?
No; let my father seek another heir.
Therefore devise with me how we may fly,
Whither to go, and what to bear with us;
And do not seek to take your charge upon you,
To bear your griefs yourself, and leave me out;
For, by this heaven, now at our sorrows pale,
Say what thou canst, I'll go along with thee.
ROSALIND. Why, whither shall we go?
CELIA. To seek my uncle in the Forest of Arden.
ROSALIND. Alas, what danger will it be to us,
Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!
Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.
CELIA. I'll put myself in poor and mean attire,
And with a kind of umber smirch my face;
The like do you; so shall we pass along,
And never stir assailants.
ROSALIND. Were it not better,
Because that I am more than common tall,
That I did suit me all points like a man?
A gallant curtle-axe upon my thigh,
A boar spear in my hand; and- in my heart
Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will-
We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,
As many other mannish cowards have
That do outface it with their semblances.
CELIA. What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
ROSALIND. I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page,
And therefore look you call me Ganymede.
But what will you be call'd?
CELIA. Something that hath a reference to my state:
No longer Celia, but Aliena.
ROSALIND. But, cousin, what if we assay'd to steal
The clownish fool out of your father's court?
Would he not be a comfort to our travel?
CELIA. He'll go along o'er the wide world with me;
Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away,
And get our jewels and our wealth together;
Devise the fittest time and safest way
To hide us from pursuit that will be made
After my flight. Now go we in content
To liberty, and not to banishment. Exeunt

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ACT II. SCENE I.
The Forest of Arden

Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and two or three LORDS, like foresters

DUKE SENIOR. Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
More free from peril than the envious court?
Here feel we not the penalty of Adam,
The seasons' difference; as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
Which when it bites and blows upon my body,
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
'This is no flattery; these are counsellors
That feelingly persuade me what I am.'
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.
I would not change it.
AMIENS. Happy is your Grace,
That can translate the stubbornness of fortune
Into so quiet and so sweet a style.
DUKE SENIOR. Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
Should, in their own confines, with forked heads
Have their round haunches gor'd.
FIRST LORD. Indeed, my lord,
The melancholy Jaques grieves at that;
And, in that kind, swears you do more usurp
Than doth your brother that hath banish'd you.
To-day my Lord of Amiens and myself
Did steal behind him as he lay along
Under an oak whose antique root peeps out
Upon the brook that brawls along this wood!
To the which place a poor sequest'red stag,
That from the hunter's aim had ta'en a hurt,
Did come to languish; and, indeed, my lord,
The wretched animal heav'd forth such groans
That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat
Almost to bursting; and the big round tears
Cours'd one another down his innocent nose
In piteous chase; and thus the hairy fool,
Much marked of the melancholy Jaques,
Stood on th' extremest verge of the swift brook,
Augmenting it with tears.
DUKE SENIOR. But what said Jaques?
Did he not moralize this spectacle?
FIRST LORD. O, yes, into a thousand similes.
First, for his weeping into the needless stream:
'Poor deer,' quoth he 'thou mak'st a testament
As worldlings do, giving thy sum of more
To that which had too much.' Then, being there alone,
Left and abandoned of his velvet friends:
''Tis right'; quoth he 'thus misery doth part
The flux of company.' Anon, a careless herd,
Full of the pasture, jumps along by him
And never stays to greet him. 'Ay,' quoth Jaques
'Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens;
'Tis just the fashion. Wherefore do you look
Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?'
Thus most invectively he pierceth through
The body of the country, city, court,
Yea, and of this our life; swearing that we
Are mere usurpers, tyrants, and what's worse,
To fright the animals, and to kill them up
In their assign'd and native dwelling-place.
DUKE SENIOR. And did you leave him in this contemplation?
SECOND LORD. We did, my lord, weeping and commenting
Upon the sobbing deer.
DUKE SENIOR. Show me the place;
I love to cope him in these sullen fits,
For then he's full of matter.
FIRST LORD. I'll bring you to him straight. Exeunt

SCENE II.
The DUKE'S palace

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, with LORDS

FREDERICK. Can it be possible that no man saw them?
It cannot be; some villains of my court
Are of consent and sufferance in this.
FIRST LORD. I cannot hear of any that did see her.
The ladies, her attendants of her chamber,
Saw her abed, and in the morning early
They found the bed untreasur'd of their mistress.
SECOND LORD. My lord, the roynish clown, at whom so oft
Your Grace was wont to laugh, is also missing.
Hisperia, the Princess' gentlewoman,
Confesses that she secretly o'erheard
Your daughter and her cousin much commend
The parts and graces of the wrestler
That did but lately foil the sinewy Charles;
And she believes, wherever they are gone,
That youth is surely in their company.
FREDERICK. Send to his brother; fetch that gallant hither.
If he be absent, bring his brother to me;
I'll make him find him. Do this suddenly;
And let not search and inquisition quail
To bring again these foolish runaways. Exeunt

SCENE III.
Before OLIVER'S house

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM, meeting

ORLANDO. Who's there?
ADAM. What, my young master? O my gentle master!
O my sweet master! O you memory
Of old Sir Rowland! Why, what make you here?
Why are you virtuous? Why do people love you?
And wherefore are you gentle, strong, and valiant?
Why would you be so fond to overcome
The bonny prizer of the humorous Duke?
Your praise is come too swiftly home before you.
Know you not, master, to some kind of men
Their graces serve them but as enemies?
No more do yours. Your virtues, gentle master,
Are sanctified and holy traitors to you.
O, what a world is this, when what is comely
Envenoms him that bears it!
ORLANDO. Why, what's the matter?
ADAM. O unhappy youth!
Come not within these doors; within this roof
The enemy of all your graces lives.
Your brother- no, no brother; yet the son-
Yet not the son; I will not call him son
Of him I was about to call his father-
Hath heard your praises; and this night he means
To burn the lodging where you use to lie,
And you within it. If he fail of that,
He will have other means to cut you off;
I overheard him and his practices.
This is no place; this house is but a butchery;
Abhor it, fear it, do not enter it.
ORLANDO. Why, whither, Adam, wouldst thou have me go?
ADAM. No matter whither, so you come not here.
ORLANDO. What, wouldst thou have me go and beg my food,
Or with a base and boist'rous sword enforce
A thievish living on the common road?
This I must do, or know not what to do;
Yet this I will not do, do how I can.
I rather will subject me to the malice
Of a diverted blood and bloody brother.
ADAM. But do not so. I have five hundred crowns,
The thrifty hire I sav'd under your father,
Which I did store to be my foster-nurse,
When service should in my old limbs lie lame,
And unregarded age in corners thrown.
Take that, and He that doth the ravens feed,
Yea, providently caters for the sparrow,
Be comfort to my age! Here is the gold;
All this I give you. Let me be your servant;
Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty;
For in my youth I never did apply
Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood,
Nor did not with unbashful forehead woo
The means of weakness and debility;
Therefore my age is as a lusty winter,
Frosty, but kindly. Let me go with you;
I'll do the service of a younger man
In all your business and necessities.
ORLANDO. O good old man, how well in thee appears
The constant service of the antique world,
When service sweat for duty, not for meed!
Thou art not for the fashion of these times,
Where none will sweat but for promotion,
And having that do choke their service up
Even with the having; it is not so with thee.
But, poor old man, thou prun'st a rotten tree
That cannot so much as a blossom yield
In lieu of all thy pains and husbandry.
But come thy ways, we'll go along together,
And ere we have thy youthful wages spent
We'll light upon some settled low content.
ADAM. Master, go on; and I will follow thee
To the last gasp, with truth and loyalty.
From seventeen years till now almost four-score
Here lived I, but now live here no more.
At seventeen years many their fortunes seek,
But at fourscore it is too late a week;
Yet fortune cannot recompense me better
Than to die well and not my master's debtor. Exeunt

SCENE IV.
The Forest of Arden

Enter ROSALIND for GANYMEDE, CELIA for ALIENA, and CLOWN alias
TOUCHSTONE

ROSALIND. O Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!
TOUCHSTONE. I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not
weary.
ROSALIND. I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's
apparel,
and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort the weaker
vessel, as
doublet and hose ought to show itself courageous to
petticoat;
therefore, courage, good Aliena.
CELIA. I pray you bear with me; I cannot go no further.
TOUCHSTONE. For my part, I had rather bear with you than bear
you;
yet I should bear no cross if I did bear you; for I think you
have no money in your purse.
ROSALIND. Well, this is the Forest of Arden.
TOUCHSTONE. Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I; when I was
at
home I was in a better place; but travellers must be content.

Enter CORIN and SILVIUS

ROSALIND. Ay, be so, good Touchstone. Look you, who comes here,
a
young man and an old in solemn talk.
CORIN. That is the way to make her scorn you still.
SILVIUS. O Corin, that thou knew'st how I do love her!
CORIN. I partly guess; for I have lov'd ere now.
SILVIUS. No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,
Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover
As ever sigh'd upon a midnight pillow.
But if thy love were ever like to mine,
As sure I think did never man love so,
How many actions most ridiculous
Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?
CORIN. Into a thousand that I have forgotten.
SILVIUS. O, thou didst then never love so heartily!
If thou rememb'rest not the slightest folly
That ever love did make thee run into,
Thou hast not lov'd;
Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,
Wearing thy hearer in thy mistress' praise,
Thou hast not lov'd;
Or if thou hast not broke from company
Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,
Thou hast not lov'd.
O Phebe, Phebe, Phebe! Exit Silvius
ROSALIND. Alas, poor shepherd! searching of thy wound,
I have by hard adventure found mine own.
TOUCHSTONE. And I mine. I remember, when I was in love, I broke
my
sword upon a stone, and bid him take that for coming a-night
to
Jane Smile; and I remember the kissing of her batler, and the
cow's dugs that her pretty chapt hands had milk'd; and I
remember
the wooing of peascod instead of her; from whom I took two
cods,
and giving her them again, said with weeping tears 'Wear
these
for my sake.' We that are true lovers run into strange
capers;
but as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature in love
mortal
in folly.
ROSALIND. Thou speak'st wiser than thou art ware of.
TOUCHSTONE. Nay, I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit till I
break
my shins against it.
ROSALIND. Jove, Jove! this shepherd's passion
Is much upon my fashion.
TOUCHSTONE. And mine; but it grows something stale with me.
CELIA. I pray you, one of you question yond man
If he for gold will give us any food;
I faint almost to death.
TOUCHSTONE. Holla, you clown!
ROSALIND. Peace, fool; he's not thy kinsman.
CORIN. Who calls?
TOUCHSTONE. Your betters, sir.
CORIN. Else are they very wretched.
ROSALIND. Peace, I say. Good even to you, friend.
CORIN. And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.
ROSALIND. I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold
Can in this desert place buy entertainment,
Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed.
Here's a young maid with travel much oppress'd,
And faints for succour.
CORIN. Fair sir, I pity her,
And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,
My fortunes were more able to relieve her;
But I am shepherd to another man,
And do not shear the fleeces that I graze.
My master is of churlish disposition,
And little recks to find the way to heaven
By doing deeds of hospitality.
Besides, his cote, his flocks, and bounds of feed,
Are now on sale; and at our sheepcote now,
By reason of his absence, there is nothing
That you will feed on; but what is, come see,
And in my voice most welcome shall you be.
ROSALIND. What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?
CORIN. That young swain that you saw here but erewhile,
That little cares for buying any thing.
ROSALIND. I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
Buy thou the cottage, pasture, and the flock,
And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.
CELIA. And we will mend thy wages. I like this place,
And willingly could waste my time in it.
CORIN. Assuredly the thing is to be sold.
Go with me; if you like upon report
The soil, the profit, and this kind of life,
I will your very faithful feeder be,
And buy it with your gold right suddenly. Exeunt

SCENE V.
Another part of the forest

Enter AMIENS, JAQUES, and OTHERS

SONG
AMIENS. Under the greenwood tree
Who loves to lie with me,
And turn his merry note
Unto the sweet bird's throat,
Come hither, come hither, come hither.
Here shall he see
No enemy
But winter and rough weather.

JAQUES. More, more, I prithee, more.
AMIENS. It will make you melancholy, Monsieur Jaques.
JAQUES. I thank it. More, I prithee, more. I can suck
melancholy
out of a song, as a weasel sucks eggs. More, I prithee, more.
AMIENS. My voice is ragged; I know I cannot please you.
JAQUES. I do not desire you to please me; I do desire you to
sing.
Come, more; another stanzo. Call you 'em stanzos?
AMIENS. What you will, Monsieur Jaques.
JAQUES. Nay, I care not for their names; they owe me nothing.
Will
you sing?
AMIENS. More at your request than to please myself.
JAQUES. Well then, if ever I thank any man, I'll thank you; but
that they call compliment is like th' encounter of two
dog-apes;
and when a man thanks me heartily, methinks have given him a
penny, and he renders me the beggarly thanks. Come, sing; and
you
that will not, hold your tongues.
AMIENS. Well, I'll end the song. Sirs, cover the while; the
Duke
will drink under this tree. He hath been all this day to look
you.
JAQUES. And I have been all this day to avoid him. He is too
disputable for my company. I think of as many matters as he;
but
I give heaven thanks, and make no boast of them. Come,
warble, come.

SONG
[All together here]

Who doth ambition shun,
And loves to live i' th' sun,
Seeking the food he eats,
And pleas'd with what he gets,
Come hither, come hither, come hither.
Here shall he see
No enemy
But winter and rough weather.

JAQUES. I'll give you a verse to this note that I made
yesterday in
despite of my invention.
AMIENS. And I'll sing it.
JAQUES. Thus it goes:

If it do come to pass
That any man turn ass,
Leaving his wealth and ease
A stubborn will to please,
Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame;
Here shall he see
Gross fools as he,
An if he will come to me.

AMIENS. What's that 'ducdame'?
JAQUES. 'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a circle.
I'll
go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I'll rail against all the
first-born of Egypt.
AMIENS. And I'll go seek the Duke; his banquet is prepar'd.
Exeunt severally

SCENE VI.
The forest

Enter ORLANDO and ADAM

ADAM. Dear master, I can go no further. O, I die for food! Here
lie
I down, and measure out my grave. Farewell, kind master.
ORLANDO. Why, how now, Adam! No greater heart in thee? Live a
little; comfort a little; cheer thyself a little. If this
uncouth
forest yield anything savage, I will either be food for it or
bring it for food to thee. Thy conceit is nearer death than
thy
powers. For my sake be comfortable; hold death awhile at the
arm's end. I will here be with thee presently; and if I bring
thee
not something to eat, I will give thee leave to die; but if
thou
diest before I come, thou art a mocker of my labour. Well
said!
thou look'st cheerly; and I'll be with thee quickly. Yet thou
liest in the bleak air. Come, I will bear thee to some
shelter;
and thou shalt not die for lack of a dinner, if there live
anything in this desert. Cheerly, good Adam! Exeunt

SCENE VII.
The forest

A table set out. Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and LORDS, like
outlaws

DUKE SENIOR. I think he be transform'd into a beast;
For I can nowhere find him like a man.
FIRST LORD. My lord, he is but even now gone hence;
Here was he merry, hearing of a song.
DUKE SENIOR. If he, compact of jars, grow musical,
We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.
Go seek him; tell him I would speak with him.

Enter JAQUES

FIRST LORD. He saves my labour by his own approach.
DUKE SENIOR. Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,
That your poor friends must woo your company?
What, you look merrily!
JAQUES. A fool, a fool! I met a fool i' th' forest,
A motley fool. A miserable world!
As I do live by food, I met a fool,
Who laid him down and bask'd him in the sun,
And rail'd on Lady Fortune in good terms,
In good set terms- and yet a motley fool.
'Good morrow, fool,' quoth I; 'No, sir,' quoth he,
'Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune.'
And then he drew a dial from his poke,
And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,
Says very wisely, 'It is ten o'clock;
Thus we may see,' quoth he, 'how the world wags;
'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine;
And after one hour more 'twill be eleven;
And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,
And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;
And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear
The motley fool thus moral on the time,
My lungs began to crow like chanticleer
That fools should be so deep contemplative;
And I did laugh sans intermission
An hour by his dial. O noble fool!
A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear.
DUKE SENIOR. What fool is this?
JAQUES. O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,
And says, if ladies be but young and fair,
They have the gift to know it; and in his brain,
Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit
After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm'd
With observation, the which he vents
In mangled forms. O that I were a fool!
I am ambitious for a motley coat.
DUKE SENIOR. Thou shalt have one.
JAQUES. It is my only suit,
Provided that you weed your better judgments
Of all opinion that grows rank in them
That I am wise. I must have liberty
Withal, as large a charter as the wind,
To blow on whom I please, for so fools have;
And they that are most galled with my folly,
They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?
The why is plain as way to parish church:
He that a fool doth very wisely hit
Doth very foolishly, although he smart,
Not to seem senseless of the bob; if not,
The wise man's folly is anatomiz'd
Even by the squand'ring glances of the fool.
Invest me in my motley; give me leave
To speak my mind, and I will through and through
Cleanse the foul body of th' infected world,
If they will patiently receive my medicine.
DUKE SENIOR. Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.
JAQUES. What, for a counter, would I do but good?
DUKE SENIOR. Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin;
For thou thyself hast been a libertine,
As sensual as the brutish sting itself;
And all th' embossed sores and headed evils
That thou with license of free foot hast caught
Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.
JAQUES. Why, who cries out on pride
That can therein tax any private party?
Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,
Till that the wearer's very means do ebb?
What woman in the city do I name
When that I say the city-woman bears
The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?
Who can come in and say that I mean her,
When such a one as she such is her neighbour?
Or what is he of basest function
That says his bravery is not on my cost,
Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits
His folly to the mettle of my speech?
There then! how then? what then? Let me see wherein
My tongue hath wrong'd him: if it do him right,
Then he hath wrong'd himself; if he be free,
Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,
Unclaim'd of any man. But who comes here?

Enter ORLANDO with his sword drawn

ORLANDO. Forbear, and eat no more.
JAQUES. Why, I have eat none yet.
ORLANDO. Nor shalt not, till necessity be serv'd.
JAQUES. Of what kind should this cock come of?
DUKE SENIOR. Art thou thus bolden'd, man, by thy distress?
Or else a rude despiser of good manners,
That in civility thou seem'st so empty?
ORLANDO. You touch'd my vein at first: the thorny point
Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show
Of smooth civility; yet am I inland bred,
And know some nurture. But forbear, I say;
He dies that touches any of this fruit
Till I and my affairs are answered.
JAQUES. An you will not be answer'd with reason, I must die.
DUKE SENIOR. What would you have? Your gentleness shall force
More than your force move us to gentleness.
ORLANDO. I almost die for food, and let me have it.
DUKE SENIOR. Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.
ORLANDO. Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you;
I thought that all things had been savage here,
And therefore put I on the countenance
Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are
That in this desert inaccessible,
Under the shade of melancholy boughs,
Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time;
If ever you have look'd on better days,
If ever been where bells have knoll'd to church,
If ever sat at any good man's feast,
If ever from your eyelids wip'd a tear,
And know what 'tis to pity and be pitied,
Let gentleness my strong enforcement be;
In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.
DUKE SENIOR. True is it that we have seen better days,
And have with holy bell been knoll'd to church,
And sat at good men's feasts, and wip'd our eyes
Of drops that sacred pity hath engend'red;
And therefore sit you down in gentleness,
And take upon command what help we have
That to your wanting may be minist'red.
ORLANDO. Then but forbear your food a little while,
Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn,
And give it food. There is an old poor man
Who after me hath many a weary step
Limp'd in pure love; till he be first suffic'd,
Oppress'd with two weak evils, age and hunger,
I will not touch a bit.
DUKE SENIOR. Go find him out.
And we will nothing waste till you return.
ORLANDO. I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort!
Exit
DUKE SENIOR. Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:
This wide and universal theatre
Presents more woeful pageants than the scene
Wherein we play in.
JAQUES. All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.

Re-enter ORLANDO with ADAM

DUKE SENIOR. Welcome. Set down your venerable burden,
And let him feed.
ORLANDO. I thank you most for him.
ADAM. So had you need;
I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.
DUKE SENIOR. Welcome; fall to. I will not trouble you
As yet to question you about your fortunes.
Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.

SONG
Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.
Heigh-ho! sing heigh-ho! unto the green holly.
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
That dost not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot;
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend rememb'red not.
Heigh-ho! sing, &c.

DUKE SENIOR. If that you were the good Sir Rowland's son,
As you have whisper'd faithfully you were,
And as mine eye doth his effigies witness
Most truly limn'd and living in your face,
Be truly welcome hither. I am the Duke
That lov'd your father. The residue of your fortune,
Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man,
Thou art right welcome as thy master is.
Support him by the arm. Give me your hand,
And let me all your fortunes understand. Exeunt

ACT III. SCENE I.
The palace

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, OLIVER, and LORDS

FREDERICK. Not see him since! Sir, sir, that cannot be.
But were I not the better part made mercy,
I should not seek an absent argument
Of my revenge, thou present. But look to it:
Find out thy brother wheresoe'er he is;
Seek him with candle; bring him dead or living
Within this twelvemonth, or turn thou no more
To seek a living in our territory.
Thy lands and all things that thou dost call thine
Worth seizure do we seize into our hands,
Till thou canst quit thee by thy brother's mouth
Of what we think against thee.
OLIVER. O that your Highness knew my heart in this!
I never lov'd my brother in my life.
FREDERICK. More villain thou. Well, push him out of doors;
And let my officers of such a nature
Make an extent upon his house and lands.
Do this expediently, and turn him going. Exeunt

SCENE II.
The forest

Enter ORLANDO, with a paper

ORLANDO. Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love;
And thou, thrice-crowned Queen of Night, survey
With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above,
Thy huntress' name that my full life doth sway.
O Rosalind! these trees shall be my books,
And in their barks my thoughts I'll character,
That every eye which in this forest looks
Shall see thy virtue witness'd every where.
Run, run, Orlando; carve on every tree,
The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she. Exit

Enter CORIN and TOUCHSTONE

CORIN. And how like you this shepherd's life, Master
Touchstone?
TOUCHSTONE. Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a good
life; but in respect that it is a shepherd's life, it is
nought.
In respect that it is solitary, I like it very well; but in
respect that it is private, it is a very vile life. Now in
respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me well; but in
respect
it is not in the court, it is tedious. As it is a spare life,
look you, it fits my humour well; but as there is no more
plenty
in it, it goes much against my stomach. Hast any philosophy
in
thee, shepherd?
CORIN. No more but that I know the more one sickens the worse
at
ease he is; and that he that wants money, means, and content,
is
without three good friends; that the property of rain is to
wet,
and fire to burn; that good pasture makes fat sheep; and that
a
great cause of the night is lack of the sun; that he that
hath
learned no wit by nature nor art may complain of good
breeding,
or comes of a very dull kindred.
TOUCHSTONE. Such a one is a natural philosopher. Wast ever in
court, shepherd?
CORIN. No, truly.
TOUCHSTONE. Then thou art damn'd.
CORIN. Nay, I hope.
TOUCHSTONE. Truly, thou art damn'd, like an ill-roasted egg,
all on
one side.
CORIN. For not being at court? Your reason.
TOUCHSTONE. Why, if thou never wast at court thou never saw'st
good
manners; if thou never saw'st good manners, then thy manners
must
be wicked; and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou
art
in a parlous state, shepherd.
CORIN. Not a whit, Touchstone. Those that are good manners at
the
court are as ridiculous in the country as the behaviour of
the
country is most mockable at the court. You told me you salute
not
at the court, but you kiss your hands; that courtesy would be
uncleanly if courtiers were shepherds.
TOUCHSTONE. Instance, briefly; come, instance.
CORIN. Why, we are still handling our ewes; and their fells,
you
know, are greasy.
TOUCHSTONE. Why, do not your courtier's hands sweat? And is not
the
grease of a mutton as wholesome as the sweat of a man?
Shallow,
shallow. A better instance, I say; come.
CORIN. Besides, our hands are hard.
TOUCHSTONE. Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow again.
A
more sounder instance; come.
CORIN. And they are often tarr'd over with the surgery of our
sheep; and would you have us kiss tar? The courtier's hands
are
perfum'd with civet.
TOUCHSTONE. Most shallow man! thou worm's meat in respect of a
good
piece of flesh indeed! Learn of the wise, and perpend: civet
is
of a baser birth than tar- the very uncleanly flux of a cat.
Mend
the instance, shepherd.
CORIN. You have too courtly a wit for me; I'll rest.
TOUCHSTONE. Wilt thou rest damn'd? God help thee, shallow man!
God
make incision in thee! thou art raw.
CORIN. Sir, I am a true labourer: I earn that I eat, get that I
wear; owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness; glad of other
men's good, content with my harm; and the greatest of my
pride is
to see my ewes graze and my lambs suck.
TOUCHSTONE. That is another simple sin in you: to bring the
ewes
and the rams together, and to offer to get your living by the
copulation of cattle; to be bawd to a bell-wether, and to
betray
a she-lamb of a twelvemonth to crooked-pated, old, cuckoldly
ram,
out of all reasonable match. If thou beest not damn'd for
this,
the devil himself will have no shepherds; I cannot see else
how
thou shouldst scape.
CORIN. Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new mistress's
brother.

Enter ROSALIND, reading a paper

ROSALIND. 'From the east to western Inde,
No jewel is like Rosalinde.
Her worth, being mounted on the wind,
Through all the world bears Rosalinde.
All the pictures fairest lin'd
Are but black to Rosalinde.
Let no face be kept in mind
But the fair of Rosalinde.'
TOUCHSTONE. I'll rhyme you so eight years together, dinners,
and
suppers, and sleeping hours, excepted. It is the right
butter-women's rank to market.
ROSALIND. Out, fool!
TOUCHSTONE. For a taste:
If a hart do lack a hind,
Let him seek out Rosalinde.
If the cat will after kind,
So be sure will Rosalinde.
Winter garments must be lin'd,
So must slender Rosalinde.
They that reap must sheaf and bind,
Then to cart with Rosalinde.
Sweetest nut hath sourest rind,
Such a nut is Rosalinde.
He that sweetest rose will find
Must find love's prick and Rosalinde.
This is the very false gallop of verses; why do you infect
yourself with them?
ROSALIND. Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree.
TOUCHSTONE. Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.
ROSALIND. I'll graff it with you, and then I shall graff it
with a
medlar. Then it will be the earliest fruit i' th' country;
for
you'll be rotten ere you be half ripe, and that's the right
virtue of the medlar.
TOUCHSTONE. You have said; but whether wisely or no, let the
forest
judge.

Enter CELIA, with a writing

ROSALIND. Peace!
Here comes my sister, reading; stand aside.
CELIA. 'Why should this a desert be?
For it is unpeopled? No;
Tongues I'll hang on every tree
That shall civil sayings show.
Some, how brief the life of man
Runs his erring pilgrimage,
That the streching of a span
Buckles in his sum of age;
Some, of violated vows
'Twixt the souls of friend and friend;
But upon the fairest boughs,
Or at every sentence end,
Will I Rosalinda write,
Teaching all that read to know
The quintessence of every sprite
Heaven would in little show.
Therefore heaven Nature charg'd
That one body should be fill'd
With all graces wide-enlarg'd.
Nature presently distill'd
Helen's cheek, but not her heart,
Cleopatra's majesty,
Atalanta's better part,
Sad Lucretia's modesty.
Thus Rosalinde of many parts
By heavenly synod was devis'd,
Of many faces, eyes, and hearts,
To have the touches dearest priz'd.
Heaven would that she these gifts should have,
And I to live and die her slave.'
ROSALIND. O most gentle Jupiter! What tedious homily of love
have
you wearied your parishioners withal, and never cried 'Have
patience, good people.'
CELIA. How now! Back, friends; shepherd, go off a little; go
with
him, sirrah.
TOUCHSTONE. Come, shepherd, let us make an honourable retreat;

though not with bag and baggage, yet with scrip and
scrippage.
Exeunt CORIN and TOUCHSTONE
CELIA. Didst thou hear these verses?
ROSALIND. O, yes, I heard them all, and more too; for some of
them
had in them more feet than the verses would bear.
CELIA. That's no matter; the feet might bear the verses.
ROSALIND. Ay, but the feet were lame, and could not bear
themselves
without the verse, and therefore stood lamely in the verse.
CELIA. But didst thou hear without wondering how thy name
should be
hang'd and carved upon these trees?
ROSALIND. I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder before
you
came; for look here what I found on a palm-tree. I was never
so
berhym'd since Pythagoras' time that I was an Irish rat,
which I
can hardly remember.
CELIA. Trow you who hath done this?
ROSALIND. Is it a man?
CELIA. And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck.
Change you colour?
ROSALIND. I prithee, who?
CELIA. O Lord, Lord! it is a hard matter for friends to meet;
but
mountains may be remov'd with earthquakes, and so encounter.
ROSALIND. Nay, but who is it?
CELIA. Is it possible?
ROSALIND. Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary vehemence,
tell
me who it is.
CELIA. O wonderful, wonderful, most wonderful wonderful, and
yet
again wonderful, and after that, out of all whooping!
ROSALIND. Good my complexion! dost thou think, though I am
caparison'd like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my
disposition? One inch of delay more is a South Sea of
discovery.
I prithee tell me who is it quickly, and speak apace. I would
thou could'st stammer, that thou mightst pour this conceal'd
man
out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of narrow-mouth'd bottle-
either too much at once or none at all. I prithee take the
cork
out of thy mouth that I may drink thy tidings.
CELIA. So you may put a man in your belly.
ROSALIND. Is he of God's making? What manner of man?
Is his head worth a hat or his chin worth a beard?
CELIA. Nay, he hath but a little beard.
ROSALIND. Why, God will send more if the man will be thankful.
Let
me stay the growth of his beard, if thou delay me not the
knowledge of his chin.
CELIA. It is young Orlando, that tripp'd up the wrestler's
heels
and your heart both in an instant.
ROSALIND. Nay, but the devil take mocking! Speak sad brow and
true
maid.
CELIA. I' faith, coz, 'tis he.
ROSALIND. Orlando?
CELIA. Orlando.
ROSALIND. Alas the day! what shall I do with my doublet and
hose?
What did he when thou saw'st him? What said he? How look'd
he?
Wherein went he? What makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where
remains he? How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see
him
again? Answer me in one word.
CELIA. You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first; 'tis a word
too
great for any mouth of this age's size. To say ay and no to
these
particulars is more than to answer in a catechism.
ROSALIND. But doth he know that I am in this forest, and in
man's
apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he wrestled?
CELIA. It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the
propositions of a lover; but take a taste of my finding him,
and
relish it with good observance. I found him under a tree,
like a
dropp'd acorn.
ROSALIND. It may well be call'd Jove's tree, when it drops
forth
such fruit.
CELIA. Give me audience, good madam.
ROSALIND. Proceed.
CELIA. There lay he, stretch'd along like a wounded knight.
ROSALIND. Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well
becomes
the ground.
CELIA. Cry 'Holla' to thy tongue, I prithee; it curvets
unseasonably. He was furnish'd like a hunter.
ROSALIND. O, ominous! he comes to kill my heart.
CELIA. I would sing my song without a burden; thou bring'st me
out
of tune.
ROSALIND. Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must
speak.
Sweet, say on.
CELIA. You bring me out. Soft! comes he not here?

Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES

ROSALIND. 'Tis he; slink by, and note him.
JAQUES. I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I had as
lief have been myself alone.
ORLANDO. And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, I thank you
too
for your society.
JAQUES. God buy you; let's meet as little as we can.
ORLANDO. I do desire we may be better strangers.
JAQUES. I pray you mar no more trees with writing love songs in
their barks.
ORLANDO. I pray you mar no more of my verses with reading them
ill-favouredly.
JAQUES. Rosalind is your love's name?
ORLANDO. Yes, just.
JAQUES. I do not like her name.
ORLANDO. There was no thought of pleasing you when she was
christen'd.
JAQUES. What stature is she of?
ORLANDO. Just as high as my heart.
JAQUES. You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been
acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conn'd them out of
rings?
ORLANDO. Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from
whence
you have studied your questions.
JAQUES. You have a nimble wit; I think 'twas made of Atalanta's
heels. Will you sit down with me? and we two will rail
against
our mistress the world, and all our misery.
ORLANDO. I will chide no breather in the world but myself,
against
whom I know most faults.
JAQUES. The worst fault you have is to be in love.
ORLANDO. 'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue. I
am
weary of you.
JAQUES. By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found you.
ORLANDO. He is drown'd in the brook; look but in, and you shall
see
him.
JAQUES. There I shall see mine own figure.
ORLANDO. Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.
JAQUES. I'll tarry no longer with you; farewell, good Signior
Love.
ORLANDO. I am glad of your departure; adieu, good Monsieur
Melancholy.
Exit JAQUES

ROSALIND. [Aside to CELIA] I will speak to him like a saucy
lackey,
and under that habit play the knave with him.- Do you hear,
forester?
ORLANDO. Very well; what would you?
ROSALIND. I pray you, what is't o'clock?
ORLANDO. You should ask me what time o' day; there's no clock
in
the forest.
ROSALIND. Then there is no true lover in the forest, else
sighing
every minute and groaning every hour would detect the lazy
foot
of Time as well as a clock.
ORLANDO. And why not the swift foot of Time? Had not that been
as
proper?
ROSALIND. By no means, sir. Time travels in divers paces with
divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles withal, who
Time
trots withal, who Time gallops withal, and who he stands
still
withal.
ORLANDO. I prithee, who doth he trot withal?
ROSALIND. Marry, he trots hard with a young maid between the
contract of her marriage and the day it is solemniz'd; if the
interim be but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so hard that it
seems
the length of seven year.
ORLANDO. Who ambles Time withal?
ROSALIND. With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man that
hath
not the gout; for the one sleeps easily because he cannot
study,
and the other lives merrily because he feels no pain; the one
lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning, the other
knowing no burden of heavy tedious penury. These Time ambles
withal.
ORLANDO. Who doth he gallop withal?
ROSALIND. With a thief to the gallows; for though he go as
softly
as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there.
ORLANDO. Who stays it still withal?
ROSALIND. With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep between
term
and term, and then they perceive not how Time moves.
ORLANDO. Where dwell you, pretty youth?
ROSALIND. With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirts
of
the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.
ORLANDO. Are you native of this place?
ROSALIND. As the coney that you see dwell where she is kindled.
ORLANDO. Your accent is something finer than you could purchase
in
so removed a dwelling.
ROSALIND. I have been told so of many; but indeed an old
religious
uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth an
inland
man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in
love.
I have heard him read many lectures against it; and I thank
God I
am not a woman, to be touch'd with so many giddy offences as
he
hath generally tax'd their whole sex withal.
ORLANDO. Can you remember any of the principal evils that he
laid
to the charge of women?
ROSALIND. There were none principal; they were all like one
another
as halfpence are; every one fault seeming monstrous till his
fellow-fault came to match it.
ORLANDO. I prithee recount some of them.
ROSALIND. No; I will not cast away my physic but on those that
are
sick. There is a man haunts the forest that abuses our young
plants with carving 'Rosalind' on their barks; hangs odes
upon
hawthorns and elegies on brambles; all, forsooth, deifying
the
name of Rosalind. If I could meet that fancy-monger, I would
give
him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of
love
upon him.
ORLANDO. I am he that is so love-shak'd; I pray you tell me
your
remedy.
ROSALIND. There is none of my uncle's marks upon you; he taught
me
how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes I am sure
you
are not prisoner.
ORLANDO. What were his marks?
ROSALIND. A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and
sunken,
which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have
not;
a beard neglected, which you have not; but I pardon you for
that,
for simply your having in beard is a younger brother's
revenue.
Then your hose should be ungarter'd, your bonnet unbanded,
your
sleeve unbutton'd, your shoe untied, and every thing about
you
demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man;
you
are rather point-device in your accoutrements, as loving
yourself
than seeming the lover of any other.
ORLANDO. Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.
ROSALIND. Me believe it! You may as soon make her that you love
believe it; which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to
confess
she does. That is one of the points in the which women still
give
the lie to their consciences. But, in good sooth, are you he
that
hangs the verses on the trees wherein Rosalind is so admired?
ORLANDO. I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind,
I
am that he, that unfortunate he.
ROSALIND. But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
ORLANDO. Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
ROSALIND. Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves
as
well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason why
they are not so punish'd and cured is that the lunacy is so
ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I profess
curing
it by counsel.
ORLANDO. Did you ever cure any so?
ROSALIND. Yes, one; and in this manner. He was to imagine me
his
love, his mistress; and I set him every day to woo me; at
which
time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be
effeminate,
changeable, longing and liking, proud, fantastical, apish,
shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every
passion something and for no passion truly anything, as boys
and
women are for the most part cattle of this colour; would now
like
him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him;
now
weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor from
his
mad humour of love to a living humour of madness; which was,
to
forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook
merely monastic. And thus I cur'd him; and this way will I
take
upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart,
that there shall not be one spot of love in 't.
ORLANDO. I would not be cured, youth.
ROSALIND. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind,
and
come every day to my cote and woo me.
ORLANDO. Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me where it
is.
ROSALIND. Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; and, by the
way,
you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go?
ORLANDO. With all my heart, good youth.
ROSALIND. Nay, you must call me Rosalind. Come, sister, will
you
go? Exeunt

SCENE III.
The forest

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY; JAQUES behind

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