Full Text Archive logoFull Text Archive — Books, poems, drama…

Toaster's Handbook by Peggy Edmund & Harold W. Williams, compilers

Part 14 out of 14

Adobe PDF icon
Download this document as a .pdf
File size: 1.2 MB
What's this? light bulb idea Many people prefer to read off-line or to print out text and read from the real printed page. Others want to carry documents around with them on their mobile phones and read while they are on the move. We have created .pdf files of all out documents to accommodate all these groups of people. We recommend that you download .pdfs onto your mobile phone when it is connected to a WiFi connection for reading off-line.

"Because a fellow has six talking machines," said the boarder who
wants to be an end man, "it doesn't follow that he is a Mormon."

It was a wizened little man who appeared before the judge and charged
his wife with cruel and abusive treatment. His better half was a big,
square-jawed woman with a determined eye.

"In the first place, where did you meet this woman who, according to
your story, has treated you so dreadfully?" asked the judge.

"Well," replied the little man, making a brave attempt to glare
defiantly at his wife, "I never did meet her. She just kind of
overtook me."

"Harry, love," exclaimed Mrs. Knowall to her husband, on his return
one evening from the office, "I have b-been d-dreadfully insulted!"

"Insulted?" exclaimed Harry, love. "By whom?"

"B-by your m-mother," answered the young wife, bursting into tears.

"My mother, Flora? Nonsense! She's miles away!"

Flora dried her tears.

"I'll tell you all about it, Harry, love," she said. "A letter came to
you this morning, addressed in your mother's writing, so, of course,
I--I opened it."

"Of course," repeated Harry, love, dryly.

"It--it was written to you all the way through. Do you understand?"

"I understand. But where does the insult to you come in?"

"It--it came in the p-p-postscript," cried the wife, bursting into
fresh floods of briny. "It s-said: 'P-P-P. S.--D-dear Flora, d-don't
f-fail to give this l-letter to Harry. I w-want him to have it.'"
"'Did you git 'em, boss?" he inquired eagerly.

"'Yes, here they are.'

"Mose looked at them ruefully, shaking his head. 'Ah'm po'ful sorry
yo' got 'em, boss!'

"'Whats the matter? Has Easter gone back on you?'

"'It ain't dat, boss. Ah done changed mah min.' Ah'm gwine to mahry
Sophie Coleman, dat freckled-faced yaller girl what works up to Mis'
Mason's, for she sholy can cook!'

"Well, I'll try and have the name changed for you, but it will cost
you fifty cents more.'

"Mose assented, somewhat dubiously, and the gentleman had the change
made. Again he found Mose waiting for him.

"'Wouldn't change hit, boss, would he?'

"'Certainly he changed it. I simply had to pay him the fifty cents.'

"'Ah was hopin' he wouldn't do it. Mah min's made up to mahry Easter
Johnson after all.'

"'You crazy nigger, you don't know what you do want. What made you
change your mind again?'

"'Well, boss, Ah been thinkin' it over an' Ah jes' 'lowed dar wasn't
fifty cents wuth ob diff'runce in dem two niggers.'"

A wife is a woman who is expected to purchase without means, and sew
on buttons before they come off.

"What are you cutting out of the paper?"

"About a California man securing a divorce because his wife went
through his pockets."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"Put it in my pocket."

A woman missionary in China was taking tea with a mandarin's eight
wives. The Chinese ladies examined her clothing, her hair, her teeth,
and so on, but her feet especially amazed them.

"Why," cried one, "you can walk or run as well as a man!"

"Yes, to be sure," said the missionary.

"Can you ride a horse and swim, too?"

"Yes."

"Then you must be as strong as a man!"

"I am."

"And you wouldn't let a man beat you--not even if he was your
husband--would you?"

"Indeed I wouldn't," the missionary said.

The mandarin's eight wives looked at one another, nodding their heads.
Then the oldest said softly:

"Now I understand why the foreign devil never has more than one wife.
He is afraid!"--_Western Christian Advocate_.

PAT--"I hear your woife is sick, Moike."

MIKE--"She is thot."

PAT--"Is it dangerous she is?"

MIKE--"Divil a bit. She's too weak to be dangerous any more!"

SON--"Say, mama, father broke this vase before he went out."

MOTHER--"My beautiful majolica vase! Wait till he comes back, that's
all."

SON--"May I stay up till he does?"

"Because a fellow has six talking machines," said the boarder who
wants to be an end man, "it doesn't follow that he is a Mormon."

It was a wizened little man who appeared before the judge and charged
his wife with cruel and abusive treatment. His better half was a big,
square-jawed woman with a determined eye.

"In the first place, where did you meet this woman who, according to
your story, has treated you so dreadfully?" asked the judge.

"Well," replied the little man, making a brave attempt to glare
defiantly at his wife, "I never did meet her. She just kind of
overtook me."

"Harry, love," exclaimed Mrs. Knowall to her husband, on his return
one evening from the office, "I have b-been d-dreadfully insulted!"

"Insulted?" exclaimed Harry, love. "By whom?"

"B-by your m-mother," answered the young wife, bursting into tears.

"My mother, Flora? Nonsense! She's miles away!"

Flora dried her tears.

"I'll tell you all about it, Harry, love," she said. "A letter came to
you this morning, addressed in your mother's writing, so, of course,
I--I opened it."

"Of course," repeated Harry, love, dryly.

"It--it was written to you all the way through. Do you understand?"

"I understand. But where does the insult to you come in?"

"It--it came in the p-p-postscript," cried the wife, bursting into
fresh floods of briny. "It s-said: 'P-P-P. S.--D-dear Flora, d-don't
f-fail to give this l-letter to Harry. I w-want him to have it.'"

"By jove, I left my purse under the pillow!"

"Oh, well, your servant is honest, isn't she?"

"That's just it. She'll take it to my wife."

There swims no goose so gray, but soon or late
She finds some honest gander for her mate.

--_Pope_.

A clerk showed forty patterns of ginghams to a man whose wife had sent
him to buy some for her for Christmas, and at every pattern the man
said: "My wife said she didn't want anything like that."

The clerk put the last piece back on the shelf. "Sir," he said, "you
don't want gingham. What you want is a divorce."

Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are
wives.--_Shakespeare_.

In the election of a wife, as in
A project of war, to err but once is
To be undone forever.

--_Thomas Middleton_.

Of earthly goods, the best is a good wife;
A bad, the bitterest curse of human life.

--_Simonides_.

_See also_ Domestic finance; Suffragettes; Talkers; Temper; Woman
suffrage.

WOMAN

Woman--the only sex which attaches more importance to what's on its head
than to what's in it.

"How very few statues there are of real women."

"Yes! it's hard to get them to look right."

"How so?"

"A woman remaining still and saying nothing doesn't seem true to life."

"Oh, woman! in our hours of ease
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please"--
So wrote Sir Walter long ago.
But how, pray, could he really know?
If woman fair he strove to please,
Where did he get his "hours of ease"?

--_George B. Morewood_.

MISS SCRIBBLE-"The heroine of my next story is to be one of those modern
advanced girls who have ideas of their own and don't want to get
married."

THE COLONEL (politely)-"Ah, indeed, I don't think I ever met that
type."--_Life_.

You are a dear, sweet girl,
God bless you and keep you--
Wish I could afford to do so.

Here's to man--he can afford anything he can get. Here's to woman--she
can afford anything that she can get a man to get for her.--_George
Ade_.

Here's to the soldier and his arms,
Fall in, men, fall in;
Here's to woman and her arms,
Fall in, men, fall in!

Most Southerners are gallant. An exception is the Georgian who gave his
son this advice:

"My boy, never run after a woman or a street car--there will be another
one along in a minute or two."

Here's to the maid of bashful fifteen;
Here's to the widow of fifty;
Here's to the flaunting, extravagant queen;
And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.
Chorus:
Let the toast pass,--
Drink to the lass,
I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.

--_Sheridan_.

Here's to the ladies, the good, young ladies;
But not too good, for the good die young,
And we want no dead ones.
And here's to the good old ladies,
But not too old, for we want no dyed ones.

When a woman repulses, beware. When a woman beckons,
bewarer.--_Henriette Corkland_.

The young woman had spent a busy day.

She had browbeaten fourteen salespeople, bullyragged a floor-walker,
argued victoriously with a milliner, laid down the law to a modiste,
nipped in the bud a taxi chauffeur's attempt to overcharge her, made a
street car conductor stop the car in the middle of a block for her,
discharged her maid and engaged another, and otherwise refused to allow
herself to be imposed upon.

Yet she did not smile that evening when a young man begged:

"Let me be your protector through life!"

I am very fond of the company of ladies. I like their beauty, I like
their delicacy, I like their vivacity, and I like their
_silence.--Samuel Johnson_.

Auld Nature swears, the lovely dears
Her noblest work she classes, O:
Her 'prentice hand she tried on man,
An' then she made the lasses, O.

--_Burns_.

Not from his head was woman took,
As made her husband to o'erlook;
Not from his feet, as one designed
The footstool of the stronger kind;
But fashioned for himself, a bride;
An equal, taken from his side.

--_Charles Wesley_.

_See also_ Mice; Mothers; Smoking; Suffragettes; Wives; Woman suffrage.

WOMAN SUFFRAGE

WOMAN VOTER--"Now, I may as well be frank with you. I absolutely
refuse to vote the same ticket as that horrid Jones woman."

Kate Douglas Wiggin was asked recently how she stood on the vote for
women question. She replied she didn't "stand at all," and told a
story about a New England farmer's wife who had no very romantic ideas
about the opposite sex, and who, hurrying from churn to sink, from
sink to shed, and back to the kitchen stove, was asked if she wanted
to vote. "No, I certainly don't! I say if there's one little thing
that the men folks can do alone, for goodness sakes let 'em do it!"
she replied.

MR. E.N. QUIRE--"What are those women mauling that man for?"

MRS. HENBALLOT--"He insulted us by saying that the suffrage movement
destroyed our naturally timid sweetness and robbed us of all our
gentleness."

"Did you cast your vote, Aunty?"

"Oh, yes! Isn't it grand? A real nice gentleman with a beautiful
moustache and yellow spats marked my ballot for me. I know I should
have marked it myself, but it seemed to please him greatly."

"Does your wife want to vote?"

"No. She wants a larger town house, a villa on the sea coast and a new
limousine car every six months. I'd be pleased most to death if she
could fix her attention on a smaller matter like the vote."

"What you want, I suppose, is to vote, just like the men do."

"Certainly not," replied Mrs. Baring-Banners. "If we couldn't do any
better than that there would be no use of our voting."

"There's only one thing I can think of to head off this suffrage
movement," said the mere man.

"What is that?" asked his wife.

"Make the legal age for voting thirty-five instead of
twenty-one."--_Catholic Universe_.

MAMIE--"I believe in woman's rights."

GERTIE--"Then you think every woman should have a vote?"

MAMIE--"No; but I think every woman should have a voter."--_The
Woman's Journal_.

During the Presidential campaign the question of woman suffrage was
much discussed among women pro and con, and at an afternoon tea the
conversation turned that way between the women guests.

"Are you a woman suffragist?" asked the one who was most interested.

"Indeed, I am not," replied the other most emphatically.

"Oh, that's too bad, but just supposing you were, whom would you
support in the present campaign?"

"The same man I've always supported, of course," was the apt
reply--"my husband."

_See also_ Suffragettes.

WOMEN'S CLUBS

_See_ Clubs.

WORDS

_See_ Authors.

WORK

All work and no play
Makes Jack surreptitiously gay.

"Wot cheer, Alf? Yer lookin' sick; wot is it?"

"Work! nuffink but work, work, work, from mornin' till night!"

'"Ow long 'ave yer been at it?"

"Start tomorrow."--_Punch_.

Several men were discussing the relative importance and difficulty of
mental and physical work, and one of them told the following
experience:

"Several years ago, a tramp, one of the finest specimens of physical
manhood that I have ever seen, dropped into my yard and asked me for
work. The first day I put him to work helping to move some heavy
rocks, and he easily did as much work as any two other men, and yet
was as fresh as could be at the end of the day.

"The next morning, having no further use for him, I told him he could
go; but he begged so hard to remain that I let him go into the cellar
and empty some apple barrels, putting the good apples into one barrel
and throwing away the rotten ones--about a half hour's work.

"At the end of two hours he was still in the cellar, and I went down
to see what the trouble was. I found him only half through, but almost
exhausted, beads of perspiration on his brow.

"'What's the matter?' I asked. 'Surely that work isn't hard.'

"'No not hard,' he replied. 'But the strain on the judgment is
_awful_.'"

_See also_ Rest cure.

WORMS

A country girl was home from college for the Christmas holidays and
the old folks were having a reception in her honor. During the event
she brought out some of her new gowns to show to the guests. Picking
up a beautiful silk creation she held it up before the admiring crowd.

"Isn't this perfectly gorgeous!" she exclaimed. "Just think, it came
from a poor little insignificant worm!"

Her hard-working father looked a moment, then he turned and said:
"Yes, darn it, an' I'm that worm!"

YALE UNIVERSITY

The new cook, who had come into the household during the holidays,
asked her mistress:

"Where ban your son? I not seeing him round no more."

"My son," replied the mistress pridefully. "Oh, he has gone back to
Yale. He could only get away long enough to stay until New Year's day,
you see. I miss him dreadfully, tho."

"Yas, I knowing yoost how you feel. My broder, he ban in yail sax
times since Tanksgiving."

YONKERS

An American took an Englishman to a theater. An actor in the farce,
about to die, exclaimed: "Please, dear wife, don't bury me in
Yonkers!"

The Englishman turned to his friend and said: "I say, old chap, what
_are_ yonkers?"

"YOU"

Here's to the world, the merry old world,
To its days both bright and blue;
Here's to our future, be it what it may,
And here's to my best--that's you!

ZONES

TEACHER--"How many zones has the earth?"

PUPIL--"Five."

TEACHER--"Correct. Name them."

PUPIL--"Temperate zone, intemperate, canal, horrid, and o."--_Life_.

INDEX

ABILITY
ABOLITION
ABSENT-MINDEDNESS
ACCIDENTS
ACTING
ACTORS AND ACTRESSES
ADAPTATION
ADDRESSES
ADVERTISING
ADVICE
AERONAUTICS
AEROPLANES
AFTER DINNER SPEECHES
AGE
AGENTS
AGRICULTURE
ALARM CLOCKS
ALERTNESS
ALIBI
ALIMONY
ALLOWANCES
ALTRUISM
AMBITION
AMERICAN GIRL
AMERICANS
AMUSEMENTS
ANATOMY
ANCESTRY
ANGER
ANNIVERSARIES
ANTIDOTES
APPEARANCES
APPLAUSE
ARBITRATION INTERNATIONAL
ARITHMETIC
ARMIES
ARMY RATIONS
ART
ARTISTS
ATHLETES
ATTENTION
AUTHORS
AUTOMOBILES
AUTOMOBILING
AVIATION
AVIATORS

BABIES
BACCALAUREATE SERMONS
BACTERIA
BADGES
BAGGAGE
BALDNESS
BANKS AND BANKING
BAPTISM
BAPTISTS
BARGAINS
BASEBALL
BATHS AND BATHING
BAZARS
BEARDS
BEAUTY
BEAUTY, PERSONAL
BEDS
BEER
BEES
BEETLES
BEGGING
BETTING
BIBLE INTERPRETATION
BIGAMY
BILLS
BIRTHDAYS
BLUFFING
BLUNDERS
BOASTING
BONANZAS
BOOKKEEPING
BOOKS AND READING
BOOKSELLERS AND BOOKSELLING
BOOKWORMS
BOOMERANGS
BORES
BORROWERS
BOSSES
BOSTON
BOXING
BOYS
BREAKFAST FOODS
BREATH
BREVITY
BRIBERY
BRIDES
BRIDGE WHIST
BROOKLYN
BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS
BUILDINGS
BURGLARS
BUSINESS
BUSINESS ENTERPRISE
BUSINESS ETHICS
BUSINESS WOMEN

CAMPAIGNS
CAMPING
CANDIDATES
CANNING AND PRESERVING
CAPITALISTS
CAREFULNESS
CARPENTERS
CARVING
CASTE
CATS
CAUSE AND EFFECT
CAUTION
CHAMPAGNE
CHARACTER
CHARITY
CHICAGO
CHICKEN STEALING
CHILD LABOR
CHILDREN
CHOICES
CHOIRS
CHRISTIAN SCIENTISTS
CHRISTIANS
CHRISTMAS GIFTS
CHRONOLOGY
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
CHURCH DISCIPLINE
CIRCUS
CIVILIZATION
CLEANLINESS
CLERGY
CLIMATE
CLOTHING
CLUBS
COAL DEALERS
COEDUCATION
COFFEE
COINS
COLLECTING OF ACCOUNTS
COLLECTORS AND COLLECTING
COLLEGE GRADUATES
COLLEGE STUDENTS
COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES
COMMON SENSE
COMMUTERS
COMPARISONS
COMPENSATION
COMPETITION
COMPLIMENTS
COMPOSERS
COMPROMISES
CONFESSIONS
CONGRESS
CONGRESSMEN
CONSCIENCE
CONSEQUENCES
CONSIDERATION
CONSTANCY
CONTRIBUTION BOX
CONUNDRUMS
CONVERSATION
COOKERY
COOKS
CORNETS
CORNS
CORPULENCE
COSMOPOLITANISM
COST OF LIVING
COUNTRY LIFE
COURAGE
COURTESY
COURTS
COURTSHIP
COWARDS
COWS
CRITICISM
CRUELTY
CUCUMBERS
CULTURE
CURFEW
CURIOSITY
CYCLONES

DACHSHUNDS
DAMAGES
DANCING
DEAD BEATS
DEBTS
DEER
DEGREES
DEMOCRACY
DEMOCRATIC PARTY
DENTISTRY
DENTISTS
DESCRIPTION
DESIGN, DECORATIVE
DESTINATION
DETAILS
DETECTIVES
DETERMINATION
DIAGNOSIS
DIET
DILEMMAS
DINING
DIPLOMACY
DISCIPLINE
DISCOUNTS
DISCRETION
DISPOSITION
DISTANCES
DIVORCE
DOGS
DOMESTIC FINANCE
DOMESTIC RELATIONS
DRAMA
DRAMATIC CRITICISM
DRAMATISTS
DRESSMAKERS
DRINKING
DROUGHTS
DRUNKARDS
DYSPEPSIA

ECHOES
ECONOMY
EDITORS
EDUCATION
EFFICIENCY
EGOTISM
ELECTIONS
ELECTRICITY
EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS
EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYEES
ENEMIES
ENGLAND
ENGLISH LANGUAGE
ENGLISHMEN
ENTHUSIASM
EPITAPHS
EPITHETS
EQUALITY
ERMINE
ESCAPES
ETHICS
ETIQUET
EUROPEAN WAR
EVIDENCE
EXAMINATIONS
EXCUSES
EXPOSURE
EXTORTION
EXTRAVAGANCE

FAILURES
FAITH
FAITHFULNESS
FAME
FAMILIES
FAREWELLS
FASHION
FATE
FATHERS
FAULTS
FEES
FEET
FIGHTING
FINANCE
FINGER-BOWLS
FIRE DEPARTMENTS
FIRE ESCAPES
FIRES
FIRST AID IN ILLNESS AND INJURY
FISH
FISHERMEN
FISHING
FLATS
FLATTERY
FLIES
FLIRTATION
FLOWERS
FOOD
FOOTBALL
FORDS
FORECASTING
FORESIGHT
FORGETFULNESS
FORTUNE HUNTERS
FOUNTAIN PENS
FOURTH OF JULY
FREAKS
FREE THOUGHT
FRENCH LANGUAGE
FRESHMEN
FRIENDS
FRIENDS, SOCIETY OF
FRIENDSHIP
FUN
FUNERALS
FURNITURE
FUTURE LIFE

GARDENING
GAS STOVES
GENEROSITY
GENTLEMEN
GERMANS
GHOSTS
GIFTS
GLUTTONY
GOLF
GOOD FELLOWSHIP
GOSSIP
GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP
GOVERNORS
GRAFT
GRATITUDE
GREAT BRITAIN
GRIEF
GUARANTEES
GUESTS

HABIT
HADES
HAPPINESS
HARNESSING
HARVARD UNIVERSITY
HASH
HASTE
HEALTH RESORTS
HEARING
HEAVEN
HEIRLOOMS
HELL
HEREDITY
HEROES
HIGH COST OF LIVING
HINTING
HOME
HOMELINESS
HOMESTEADS
HONESTY
HONOR
HOPE
HORSES
HOSTS
HOTELS
HUNGER
HUNTING
HURRY
HUSBANDS
HYBRIDIZATION
HYPERBOLE
HYPOCRISY

IDEALS
ILLUSIONS AND HALLUCINATIONS
IMAGINATION
IMITATION
INFANTS
INQUISITIVENESS
INSANITY
INSPIRATIONS
INSTALMENT PLAN
INSTRUCTIONS
INSURANCE, LIFE
INSURANCE BLANKS
INSURGENTS
INTERVIEWS
INVITATIONS
IRISH BULLS
IRISHMEN
IRREVERENCE
IDEALS
ILLUSIONS AND HALLUCINATIONS
IMAGINATION
IMITATION
INFANTS
INQUISITIVENESS
INSANITY
INSPIRATIONS
INSTALMENT PLAN
INSTRUCTIONS
INSURANCE, LIFE
INSURANCE BLANKS
INSURGENTS
INTERVIEWS
INVITATIONS
IRISH BULLS
IRISHMEN
IRREVERENCE

JAMES, HENRY
JEWELS
JEWS
JOKES
JOURNALISM
JUDGES
JUDGMENT
JURY
JUSTICE
JUVENILE DELINQUENCY

KENTUCKY
KINDNESS
KINGS AND RULERS
KISSES
KNOWLEDGE
KULTUR

LABOR AND LABORING CLASSES
LADIES
LANDLORDS
LANGUAGES
LAUGHTER
LAW
LAWYERS
LAZINESS
LEAP YEAR
LEGISLATORS
LIARS
LIBERTY
LIBRARIANS
LIFE
LISPING
LOST AND FOUND
LOVE
LOYALTY
LUCK

MAINE
MAKING GOOD
MALARIA
MARKS(WO)MANSHIP
MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE FEES
MATHEMATICS
MATRIMONY
MEASURING INSTRUMENTS
MEDICAL INSPECTION OF SCHOOLS
MEDICINE
MEEKNESS
MEMORIALS
MEMORY
MEN
MESSAGES
METAPHOR
MICE
MIDDLE CLASSES
MILITANTS
MILITARY DISCIPLINE
MILLINERS
MILLIONAIRES
MINORITIES
MISERS
MISSIONARIES
MISSIONS
MISTAKEN IDENTITY
MOLLYCODDLES
MONEY
MORAL EDUCATION
MOSQUITOES
MOTHERS
MOTHERS-IN-LAW
MOTORCYCLES
MOUNTAINS
MOVING PICTURES
MUCK-RAKING
MULES
MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT
MUSEUMS
MUSIC
MUSICIANS

NAMES, PERSONAL
NATIVES
NATURE LOVERS
NAVIGATION
NEATNESS
NEGROES
NEIGHBORS
NEW JERSEY
NEW YORK CITY
NEWS
NEWSPAPERS

OBESITY
OBITUARIES
OBSERVATION
OCCUPATIONS
OCEAN
OFFICE BOYS
OFFICE-SEEKERS
OLD AGE
OLD MASTERS
ONIONS
OPERA
OPPORTUNITY
OPTIMISM
ORATORS
OUTDOOR LIFE

PAINTING
PAINTINGS
PANICS
PARENTS
PARROTS
PARTNERSHIP
PASSWORDS
PATIENCE
PATRIOTISM
PENSIONS
PESSIMISM
PHILADELPHIA
PHILANTHROPISTS
PHILOSOPHY
PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS
PICKPOCKETS
PINS
PITTSBURG
PLAY
PLEASURE
POETRY
POETS
POLICE
POLITENESS
POLITICAL PARTIES
POLITICIANS
POLITICS
POVERTY
PRAISE
PRAYER MEETINGS
PRAYERS
PREACHING
PRESCRIPTIONS
PRESENCE OF MIND
PRINTERS
PRISONS
PRODIGALS
PROFANITY
PROHIBITION
PROMOTING
PROMOTION
PROMPTNESS
PRONUNCIATION
PROPORTION
PROPOSALS
PROPRIETY
PROSPERITY
PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL CHURCH
PROTESTANTS
PROVIDENCE
PROVINCIALISM
PUBLIC SERVICE CORPORATIONS
PUBLIC SPEAKERS
PUNISHMENT
PUNS
PURE FOOD

QUARRELS
QUESTIONS
QUOTATIONS

RACE PREJUDICES
RACE PRIDE
RACE SUICIDE
RACES
RAILROADS
RAPID TRANSIT
READING
REAL ESTATE AGENTS
REALISM
RECALL
RECOMMENDATIONS
RECONCILIATIONS
REFORMERS
REGRETS
REHEARSALS
RELATIVES
RELIGIONS
REMEDIES
REMINDERS
REPARTEE
REPORTING
REPUBLICAN PARTY
REPUTATION
RESEMBLANCES
RESIGNATION
RESPECTABILITY
REST CURE
RETALIATION
REVOLUTIONS
REWARDS
RHEUMATISM
ROADS
ROASTS
ROOSEVELT, THEODORE

SALARIES
SALESMEN AND SALESMANSHIP
SALOONS
SALVATION
SAVING
SCANDAL
SCHOOLS
SCIENTIFIC MANAGEMENT
SCOTCH, THE
SEASICKNESS
SEASONS
SENATORS
SENSE OF HUMOR
SENTRIES
SERMONS
SERVANTS
SHOPPING
SHYNESS
SIGNS
SILENCE
SIN
SKATING
SKY-SCRAPERS
SLEEP
SMILES
SMOKING
SNEEZING
SNOBBERY
SNORING
SOCIALISTS
SOCIETY
SOLECISMS
SONS
SOUVENIRS
SPECULATION
SPEED
SPINSTERS
SPITE
SPRING
STAMMERING
STATESMEN
STATISTICS
STEAK
STEAM
STEAMSHIPS AND STEAMBOATS
STENOGRAPHERS
STOCK BROKERS
STRATEGY
SUBWAYS
SUCCESS
SUFFRAGETTES
SUICIDE
SUMMER RESORTS
SUNDAY
SUNDAY SCHOOLS
SUPERSTITION
SURPRISE
SWIMMERS
SYMPATHY
SYNONYMS

TABLE MANNERS
TACT
TAFT, WILLIAM HOWARD
TALENT
TALKERS
TARDINESS
TARIFF
TASTE
TEACHERS
TEARS
TEETH
TELEPHONE
TEMPER
TEMPERANCE
TEXAS
TEXTS
THEATER
THIEVES
THIN PEOPLE
THRIFT
TIDES
TIME
TIPS
TITLES OF HONOR AND NOBILITY
TOASTS
TOBACCO
TOURISTS
TRAMPS
TRANSMUTATION
TRAVELERS
TREASON
TREES
TRIGONOMETRY
TROUBLE
TRUSTS
TRUTH
TURKEYS
TUTORS
TWINS

UMBRELLAS

VALUE
VANITY
VERSATILITY
VOICE

WAGES
WAITERS
WAR
WARNINGS
WASHINGTON, GEORGE
WASPS
WASTE
WEALTH
WEATHER
WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES
WEDDING PRESENTS
WEDDINGS
WEIGHTS AND MEASURES
WELCOMES
WEST, THE
WHISKY
WHISKY BREATH
WIDOWS
WIND
WINDFALLS
WINE
WISHES
WITNESSES
WIVES
WOMAN
WOMAN SUFFRAGE
WOMEN'S CLUBS
WORDS
WORK
WORMS

YALE UNIVERSITY
YONKERS
"YOU"

ZONES

Book of the day: