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The Breitmann Ballads by Charles G. Leland

Part 3 out of 5

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Trowin dead light on eart acain:-
Ja! - wide im nord om Odin shtone
Lies a shiant form im glare alone.
Troonk py de eis-kalt roarin shdream
Der Hans ish hafe ein wunder tream.

Troonk om haunted Odinstein
Im Hexenlicht und Elfenschein
Vhere blooty Druids omens trew
From grin und screech of shaps dey slew;
Or vhere der Norseman long of yore
Vas carven eagles on de shore,
As o'er him yell de Valkyr broot
Und crows valk round knee teep im ploot,
Vhile rabens schkreem o'er ruddy bay;
Dere - ten pottles troonk - Hans Breitmann lay.

Fast und rof der war-man shnore
Like de hammer-shlog of Thor,
Schnell ash Mjollner's bang und beat
Heaved de form from het to veet
Vhile apofe him in de shkies
Dere he saw a glorie rise,
Und im mittle von it all
De iron lords of crate Valhall.

Long he gaze mit wolfen glare
At de Aesir in de air,
Long mit schneerin baren grin
He toorn his nase auf und hin
(For ne'er a Sherman - tam de otts-
Vas efer yet gife in to Gotts),
Dill avery Aes owned oop dat he
A gott-like man of brass moost pe.

Shtern der Breitmann raise his het,
To his fader Gotts he set:
"Let your worts of wisehood shlip;
Rush your runes, und let 'em rip!
For you de gotts hafe efer pe
Of dose who vere ash gotts to me:-
Alt Thor der Thoren here pelow-
Vot hell you vants,[36] I'd like to know?"

Antworded ash de donner clangs,
Der fader of de iron bangs:
"De gotts will let de hell-dogs go,
Und raise damnation here pelow;
Until de sassy Frenchmen schmell
De rifers ten dat roon troo hell
To telle dis I comme dence,
Dou lord of lion impudence.

"Drafeller! I know dee vell!
Breitmann improturbable!
Vhen on eart I hat my shy,
Breitmann of dat age vas I.
I schwear py Thor! so crate und gay,
I smashed de Jotuns in my tay,
Und dou shall pe ge-writ sooplime
Ash de crate Thor of deiner time.

"Now ve lets de eagles vly
Skreemin troo de vlamin shky,
Our own specials: - dare nod laugh;
For in de London Telegraph,
A voondrous poy vot make oos shdare,
For hop vhat may, he's alvays dere!
Vill dell de worlt, troo blut and flame,
Hans Breitmann ist der Uhlan's name.

"Und all dou e'er on eart has done,
From oop gang oontil settin sun,
Vill pe ash nix - I schvear py Thor!
To vat dou'lt do in dieser war;
Plazin roofs und mordered men,
Hell set loose on eart again;
Rush und ride in shtorm und floot,
Cannon roarin, pools of bloot;
Deutschland mad in fool career,
Led py dy Uhlanen speer,
Hell's harfest - sheafs of fictorie,
Reaped mit deat's sword und reapt by dee!

"Ja! On many a dorf und disch,
Dou shalt pring a requisish;[37]
Dwendy dimes de Frantscher men
Hafe sporned dy land in blut acain-
All dose dwenty dimes in von,
Py Deutschland shall to France pe done,
Und dwenty dimes in blut and wein
Shalst dou refenge de Palatine.

"Go! - mit shpeer und fiery muth!
Go! - mit durst for bier und blut!
Go! - mit lofe for Vaterland,
Into burning fury fanned:
Towns und hen-roosts shall hafe shown
Vhere der Uhlan ist peen gone,
Und cocks vill roon und men crow tame
To hear of der Uhlanen name."

Der fision fadet in de shky,
Und hours vent on und time goed py.
Vot heardest dou, Napolium?
De rumpitty, rumpitty, rumpitty poom!
Ven you hear de sound of de droom,
Oh denn you know dat de Dootch hafe coom,
De treadful roarin Dootch, mit de droom
Und de roompitty, pumpitty, poompity pum!
De wild ferocious Dootch on a bum,
Mit cannon roar und pattle hum,
Mit fee und faw on de foe und fum!
Led py de awful Breitemum!
Bitty boom!! BOOM!!



WHO vas efer hear soosh voonders,
Holy breest or virshin nonn?
As pefelled de Coptain Breitmann,
Vhen he hoont an air-ballon.
Der Bizzy[38] und der Dizzy,[39]
Mit lothairingen und Lothair,
Vas nodings to dis Deutscher,
Who vent kitin troo de air.

Id was in yar Nofember,
In eighdeen sefendee,
Der Breitmann vent a prowlin,
By monden light vent he.
In fillages deserted
He hear de Uhu moan;
For you alvays hear der Uhu[40]
Vhere der Uhu-lan ish gone.

Alone allonsed[41] der Uhlan,
Boot nodings could he find
Safe whitey clouds a drivin
In moonshine fore de wind.
Boot ash he see dese cloudins
He bemark dat von vas round,
Und inshtead of goin oopwarts
It kep risin towards de ground.

"Oh, vot ish dis a gomin?
Some planet, py de Lord!
Too boor to life in heafen,
Coom down on eart to poard;
Und pelow it schwing tree engels-
Two he-vons mit a wench.
Boot, mein Gott! vot sort of engels
Can dose pe, dalkin Fraentsch!

"I hafe read in Eckhartshausen
Dat oop in heafen - py tam!
De engels dalk in Sherman,
Und sing Mardin Luther's psalm.
O nein - es sind kein engeln
Vot sail so smoofly on,
Das sind verfluchte Franzosen
In einem luft-ballon!"[42]

Hei! how der Breitman streak it
Ven vonce he kess de trut'!
He spurred id like de wild fire
Of hope in early yout'.
Troo de weingarts like der teufel
Vhen he shase a lawyer's soul;
Down der moundain mit his lanze
Und his wafin banderol.

Down de moundain, o'er de valley,
Troo de village he ish gone;
Dog-barks die out pehind him,
Oders bark ash he come on.
Liddle heedet he deir bellin,
Liddle mind der Hahnen crow;
Liddle hear der Bauern yellin,
Clotter, clodder, on he go.

"Oh, vot ish hoontin foxen,
Und vot ish yager pliss,
Und vot ish shasin bison
On de blains, to soosh ash dis?
I hafe dinked dat roonin rebels
Vas de best of eartly fun;
Boot id isn't half so sholly
Ash to go a luft-ballon."

Und ash id shdill vent onwart,
Shdill onwarts mit der wind,
Der coom a real madness
To catch id, o'er his mind.
Und had'st dou seen him vylin,
Dat wild onfuriate brick,
Dou'st hafe schworn dat Coptain Breitmann
Was pecome balloonatic.

In fain dey trow deir sand-bags,
In fain all dings let fall,
De ballon shdill kep a sinkin,
Und id vouldn't rise at all.
Yet de wild wind trife id onwarts,
Onwarts shdill der Breitmann go,
Dill he cotch id py a rope-ent
Vot vas hangin town pelow.

Boot vhen it risen oopwarts,
Ash he cling to id, of corse,
Mit de lefter hand he holtet
To de pridle of his horse.
Der horse valk on his hind-legs:
Too schwer to rise vas he;
Mein Gott! vot fix for Breitmann
Of de Uhlan cavallrie!

So he go for seferal stunden
Petween himmel und eart pelow,
Boot der teufel und die engels
Couldn't make der Hans let go.
Dill all at vonce an idee
Coom from his loocky shtar-
He led co his horse's pridle
Und glimb oop indo de car.

Und vot you dinks he foundet
Vhen in dat air-ballon?
A nople Englisch vicomte,
Milord de Robinson;
Und mit him vas a laity,
Mit whom he'd rooned afay,
Whom he indroduce to Breitmann
Ash die Jungfer Salome.

Und der dritte was a barson,
Whom Milord, mit prudent view,
Hat took als secretaire,
Likevise for pallast doo.
Dey should hafe bitched him ofer
Vhen de gas was out, dey say;
Boot de dame vould not 'low it:-
She'd an arriere pensee.

Sait Milord: "Afar we've wandered,
We are completely brown;
And I'll give a thousand shiners
If you'll take me to a town
Where no one will molest us
Till we find our way to Lon--"
Here der Breitmann ent de sentence
Ash he gry out, shortly, "done."

"And as for this fair lady
To whom I would be bound,"
Sait Milord, "we'll have a wedding
Before we reach the ground.
To escape her father's anger
We fled to live in peace,
But she's relatives in London,
And they have - the police."

O vas not dis a voonders
To make de Captain shdare?-
A tausend pounds in bocket
Und a veddin in de air?
He gafe avay de laity,
Und als sie wieder kam
Zur festen Erde wieder,
Ward sie Robinson Madame.[43]

"O go mit me," said Breitmann,
"O go in mein Quartier!
Don't mind dem gommon soldiers,
For I'm an officier."
He guide dem troo de coontry
Till dey reach de ocean strand;
Now dey sit und pless Hans Breitmann,
In de far-off English land.

Dis ish Breitmann's last adfenture
How troo Himmel air flew he:
Und it's dime, oh nople reader!
For a dime to part from dee.
Dou may'st dake it all in earnest
Or pelieve id's only fon;
Boot dere's woonder dings has hoppent
Fery oft in Luft-ballon.


"Tres estime ami, - Ick seyn nock nit verdorb,
Vielleickt Sie denck wohl kar, das ick sey tod gestorb,
Ock ne Kott loben Danck, ick leb nock kanss wohl auf.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Naturlich wie Kespenst die off die Kasse keh."
- Deutsch-Franzos, Leipzig, 1736.

Vot roombles down de Bergstrass?
Vot a grash ish in de air!
Mit a desberate gonfusion,
Und a gry of wild tespair,
Das sind gethrasht Franzosen,[44]
Und dose who after flee
Are de terror of Champagner,
Die Uhlan cavallrie.

So liddle say die hoonted,
De hoonters lesser shdill;
Der Frank is ride for's leben,
Der Deutscher rides to kill.
Ofer dickly-doosty faces
Deir eyes like wild-katzs glare;
De blut und iron ridin
Of furie und despair.

Boot of all de wild Uhlanen,
Der Breitmann ride de pest;
For he mark de Frantsch gommanter
Ish most elegandtly tresst.
Und ash he coom down on him,
Dere's a deat' look in his eye:
"Gotts! if I carfe dat toorkey,
How I'll make de stoofin vly!"

Mit a clotter und a flotter
Like a hell-sturm dey are on:
Mit a rottle to de pattle
Coom de Deutschers, knockin' down,
Down de moundain to a brucke-
Vhy die Frantschmen toorn ad bay?
Oder Deutsch were dere pefore dem,
Und die pridge ish coot avay!

Von second der Franzose
Look down mit blitzen eye;
Von second at de brucke,
Den toorn him round to die.
Vhile mit out-ge-poke-te lanze,
Like ter teufel shot from hell,
Rode der ploonder-shtarvin Breitmann
On der grau-bart Colonel.

Vot for der Coptain Breitmann
Ish shdop in his career?
Vot for he pool his pridle?
Vot for let down his speer?
Vot for his eyes like saucers
Grow pigger, rimmed mit staub?
Vot for his hair, a pristlin,
Lift oop his pickel-haub?[45]

So awfool - so oneart'ly,
So treadful was his glare,
So unbeschreiblich gastly,
Dat der Colonel self was shkare.
Oop come der Breitmann ridin,
Und mit gratin force he said:
"Bist - du - wirkelich - lebendig?[46]
Can de grafe gife oop its tead?

"Dou livest yet - dou breaf'st yet,
Dough oldter now you pe
Since I mordered you in Strasburg,
Mein freund - mon Jean Bouilli.
We lofed de selfe maiden
Wohl forty years agone:-
She died to hear I kilt you:-
Jean - how weiss your beard ish grown!

"I would gife my Hab' und Guter,[47]
Dereto mein bit of life
Couldt I pring dat shild to leben,
Und make her, Jean, dy wife!"
Here der Breitmann boorst out gryin,
Like a liddle prook vept he;
Und dey hugged and gissed einander,
Der Breitmann und Bouilli.

"Ach, de efils dat from efil
Troo a life ish efer grow!
Had I nefer dink I killed you,
Many a man were livin now-
Many a man dat shleeps in cane-brakes,
Many a man py pillow-shore;
For dy morder mate me reckelos,
Und von tead man gries for more!

"O Madchen! schon im Himmel![48]
(Warst schon on eart' difine)-
Can'st dink among de Engeln
Of soosh as me und mine?
Den look on soosh a Reue,
Ash eart' has nefer known:-
Whereto hast dou a sabre?
Wherefore not kill me, Jean?"

"O, ne pleurez pas, mon Breitmann!
Je trouve cela trop fort,"
Gry der Colonel sehr politely;
"How! - you crois dat I was mort!
Mon Dieu! 'Tis but one minute,
As we galloped to this plain,
I thought your spear, mon gaillard,
Would kill me o'er again.

Je vous fais mon compliment,
Your tendresse becomes you well;
Et ne pleurez pas, mon brave,
Pour la petite demoiselle.
I have had a thousand since;
One can always find such game;
Et pour dire la verite,
I have quite forgot her name."

Der Breitmann lok so earnest,
Long and earnest at his foe,
Ash if seein troo his augen
To de forty years ago.
Mit vot a shmile der Breitmann
Toorned roundt und rode away:
Dat was all his parting greetin
To der Colonel Francais.


O HEAR a wondrous shdory
Vot soundet like romance,
How Breitmann mit four Uhlans
Vas dake de town of Nantz.
De Frantschmen call it Nancy,[49]
Und dey say its fery hard
Dat Nancy mit her soldiers
Vas getook py gorpral's guard.

Dey dink id vas King Wilhelm
Ash Hans ride in de down,
Und like Odin in his glorie
Gazed derriply aroun'.
Denn mit awfool condesenchen
He at de Frantschmen shtare,
Und say, "Ye wretsched shildren?
Abbortez mir vodre mere!"

Hans mean de city Syndic,
Whom maire de Frantschmen call;
So mit a tousand soldiers
Dey 'scort him to de Hall;
In de shair of shtade dey sot him,
Der maire coom to pe heard,
Und Hans glare at him fife minutes
Pefore he shbeak a word.

Den in iron dones he ootered:
"Ich temand que rentez fous:
Shai dreisig mille soldaten
Bas loin l'ici, barploo!
Aber tonnez-moi Champagner;
Shai an soif exdrortinaire-
Apout one douzaine cart-loads;
Und dann je fous laisse faire."[50]

Denn he say to Schwackenhammer,
His segretaire - "Read
A liddle exdra liste
Of dings de army need,
Und dell dem in Franzosisch
Dey moost shell de neetfool down
In less dan dwendy minudes,
Or, py Gott, I'll purn de town."

"Item - one tousand vatches
Of purest gold so fair;
Dazu funf tousand silbern,
For de gommon soldiers' wear;
Und tree dousand diamant ringe
Dey moost make tirectly come,
We need dem for our schweethearts
Ven we write to em at home!

"Von million cigarren
Ve'll accept ash extra boons
For not squeezin dem seferely,
Dazu dwelf tousand shboons."
Here der maire fell down in schwoonin,
Denn all dat he could say
Vas ,"O mon dieu, de dieu, dieu!
Nous voila ruinees!"[51]

No wort der Breitmann ootered,
He only make a sgratch,
Calm and silend on de daple,
Mit a liddle friction match.
De maire versteh de motion,
So went him to de task
Of raisin mong de peoples
Vot it vas der Breitmann ask.

So kam he mit de ringe,
Dey vind dem pooty soon;
So kam he mit de vatches,
Und avery silber spoon.
Boot ash for de champagner,
He wept and loudly call
Dat par dieu! he hadn't any,
For de Deutsch hafe troonk it all.

Ja! - de gorporal's guart have trinket
Efery pottle in de down,
Vhile dese negotiations
Oop-stairs vere written down.
Boot der Breitmann sooplimely,
Like von who nodings felt,
Said, "Instet of le champagner
Nous brentirons du gelt."[52]

Ja wohl! Donnes cent mille franken,
C'est mir egal, you know;[53]
Pid dem pring id in a horry,
For 'tis dime for oos to go."
Der maire he pring de money,
Und der Breitmann squeeze his hand,-
"Leb wohl, dou nople brickbat,
Herzbruder in Frankenland!

"Boot it griefes my soul to larmen,
Und I sympathize mit dein,
To pense of you, mon ami,
Sans le champagner wein.
Dere will oder Deutsch pe gomin,
Und it preak mine heart to dink
De vay dey'll bang and slang you
If dere's no champagne to trink!

"Cela fous fera misere
Que she ne feux bas see;
So, vollow mes gonseilles,
Et brenez mon afis.
Shai, moi, deux mille boutelles,
De meilleur dat man can ashk,[54]
Vich I will gladly sell-
Sheap as dirt - ten franks a flask."

De maire look oop to heafen,
Wohl nodings could he say,
Vhile oud indo de mitnight
Der Breitmann rode afay.
Away - atown de falley,
Till noding more abbears
Boot de glitter of de moonlight,
De moonlight on deir spears.



HE sits in bivouacke,
By fire, peneat' de drees;
A pottle of champagner
Held shently on his knees;
His lange Uhlan lanze
Stuck py him in de sand;
Vhile a goot peas-poodin' sausage
Adorn his oder hand.

Und jungere Uhlanen
Sit round mit oben mout'
To hear der Breitmann's shdories
Of fitin in de Sout'
Und he gife dem moral lessons,
How pefore de battle pops:
"Take a liddle brayer to Himmel,
Und a goot long trink of schnapps."

Denn his leutenant bemarket:
"How voonder shdrange it peen
Dat so very many wild pigs
Ish dis year in de Ardennes.
Ash I sout dere - donner'r'wetter!-
I sah dem coom heraus,
Shoost here und dere an Eber
Mit a hoondert tousand sows.

"Shoost dink of all dese she-picks
Vot flet to neutral land!"
Said Breitmann: "Fery easy
Ish dis to oonderstand:
Dese schwein-picks mit de sauen
Vot you saw a-roonin rond,
Ish a crate medempsygosis
Of the Frantsche demi-monde.

"I hafe readet in de Bible
How soosh a coterie
Vas ge-toornet into swine-picks,
Und roon down indo de see;
Boot since de see aint handy,
Or de picks vere all too dumm,
Dey hafe coot across de porder
Und vly to Belgium."

Now ash dey boorst oud laughin,
Und got more liquor out,
Dey hearden from de sendry
A shot und denn a shout.
Und Breitmann crasp his sabre
Quick ash de bullet hiss,
Und leapin out, demantet,
"Herr'r'r'r Gott! vat row ish dis?"

Und bold der Schwabian answert:
"Dis minute on de ground
Dere comed a Frantschman greepin,
On all-fours a-prowlin round.
I ask him vat he vanted;
Werda! I gry; boot he
Say nodings to my shallenge,
Und only answer 'Oui.'

"So I shoot him like der teufels,
Und I rader dink our friend,
Dis sneakin Frank-tiroir,
Ish a-drawin to his end."
So dey hoonted in de pushes,
Und in avery gorner dig,
Boot, mein Gott! how dey vas laughin,
Ven dey found a - mordered pig.

Next week dey hear from Paris,
Und reat in de Gaulois
Of de most adrocious action
De vorlt vas efer saw.
How de Uhlan cannibalen,
Dis vile und awful prood,
Hafe killt a nople Frantschman,
Und cut him oop for food.

"Ja - shop him indo sausage,
Und coot him indo ham;
Und schwear dey'll serfe all oders
Exacdly so - py tam!
Sons of France, awake to glory,
Let your anciend valor shine!
Und shweep dis Prussian vermin
Het und dails indo de Rhine!"



For fear of some missed onder standings, I vould shtate, dat dis is
only mean de last Barty dat der Coptain Breitmann has ge given - as
yed. Pimepy I kess he gife anoder von, und if I kits an in-
leading, or indrotuckshun, I kess I'll go. I am von of de vellers
dat vas ad de virst Barty, vhere mine swister-in-law de Madilda
Yane vas tantz mit Herr Breitmann.

Olim Studiosus Theologiae, now Uhlan free-lancer,
und Segretarius of Coptain Breitmann.

VOT gollops at mitnight,
Mit h'roolah and yell,
Like der teufel's wild yager
Boorst loose out of hell?
Vot cleams in the sonrise
Bright vlashin in gold?
Das sind die Uhlancers
Of Breitmann der bold.

Dey frighten de coontry,
Dey ploonder de town;
And when dey are oop
Die Franzosen co down:
For pefore de wild Norsemen
De Southron must flee;
Ab ira Normannorum
Libera nos Domine![55]

How dey sweep de chateaux!
How dey grab oop de hens!
Und gobble de toorkeys
Shoot oop in de pens
Like de Angel of Deat'
Dey are ragin abroad:
You may track dem py fedders
Knee-deep in de road.

O der Breitmann ish on,
Und der Breitmann is on,
Und mit him de Uhlans
Are ploonderin gone.
De demon of fengeance
His wings o'er em vave,
Mit deir fingers like hooks,
Und mit maws like de grafe.

Dey coom to a castel,
So shplendid, of bricks;
Franzosen defend it,
Das help em gar nichts.
For de Uhlans hafe take it,
Dey smash in de gate,
Und inshpired by Gott's fury,
Dey shdole all de plate.

From shamber to shamber
Dey fighted deir way,
Till dead in de hall
De Franzosen all lay;
Und dere shtood a madchen,
So lieblich und hold,
Who laugh at de dead
Troo her ringlocks of gold.

Denn der Breitmann, all plooty,
To'm madel so lind,
Spoke courtly und tender:
"Vy laughst dou, mein kind?"
Denn de plue-eyed young peaudy,
Mit lippe so red,
Said, "Vy not shall I laughen?
Vhen Frenchmen are dead.

"I coom here from Deutschland,
De shildren to teach;
Dey mock me for Deutsch,
Und dey sneer at mein sbeech;
Und since de war komm,
I vas nearly gone mad,
You wouldn't peliefe
How dey dreet me so pad."

Mit a tear Breitmann bend
To de peaudifool miss;
"Crate Gott! can'st dou suffer
Soosh horrors ash dis?"
His arm round de maiden
Der hero has bound,
Und it shtaid dere goot vhile,
Fore dey got it unwound.

"Ho! fetch me de diamonds!
Ho! shell out de rings!
Mit all in de castle
Of dat sort of dings."
Twas brought to de Captain-
A donderin load:
At de veet of de madchen
Dat ploonder he trowed.

"Ho! pring oos champagner!
Und light oop de hall!
Dis night der Herr Breitmann
Will gife you a ball.
Dat pile of dead vellers,
Vot died for La France,
May see, if dey like,
How de Shermans can tance."

Dey find laties' garments,
Und - troot to confess-
Likewise som Frantsch maidens,
Who help dem to tress.
De rest of de Uhlans
Who hadn't soosh loves,
Fixed oop in black clothes
Mit white chokers und gloves.

Now hei! for de fittles!
Und hei! for clavier!
For de tantz of de Uhlans-
De men of de speer!
How de shendlemen ashk
If dey'd blease introduce;
How de ladies mit beards
Were called Espionnes Prusses!

Hei, ho! how dey tanzet!
Hei, ho! how dey sang!
How mit klingen of glasses
De braun arches rang.
How dey trill from deir hearts
Ash dey pour out der wein,
De songs of de Oberland,-
Songs of der Rhein.

Und madder und wilder,
All whirlin around,
Vent Hans mit de maiden
In Bacchanal bound.
She helt to his peard,
Und dey gissed as if mad;
I tont dink dat efer
Vas dimes like dey had.

Boot calm in de hall,
Ever calm on de floor,
Was a row of still guests
Dat wouldn't tantz nefermore.
Mit plood shtreams black winding,
Der lord mit his men,
When der Youngest Day cooms
Hans may meet dem acain.

Hoorah for der Uhlan,
So rash und so wild!
Hoorah for der Uhlan,
Der teufel's own child!-
Dis ish "Breitmann's Last Barty,"
Dey'll sing it for years;
De lords of de lanzes,
De sons of de speers.

For dey frighten de coontry,
Dey ploonder de town;
Und when dey are oop
De Franzosen go down;
For pefore de wild Norsemen
Weak Southrons moost flee,
Ab ira Normannorum
Libera nos Domine!




"Recessit in Franciam."

"Et affectu pectoris,
Et toto gestu corporis,
Et scholares maxime,
Qui festa colunt optime."
- Carmina Burana, 13th century.

DER teufel's los in Bal Mabille,
Dere's hell-fire in de air,
De fiddlers can't blay noding else
Boot Orphee aux Enfers:
Vot makes de beoples howl mit shoy?
Da capo - Bravo! - bis!!
It's a Deutscher aus Amerika:
Hans Breitmann in Paris.

Dere's silber toughts vot might hafe peen,
Dere's golden deeds vot must:
Der Hans ish come to Frankenland
On one eternal bust.
Der same old rowdy Argonaut
Vot hoont de same oldt vleece,
A hafin all de foon dere ish-
Der Breitmann in Paris.

Mit a gal on eider shoulder
A holdin py his beard,
He tantz de Cancan, sacrament!
Dill all das Volk vas skeered.
Like a roarin hippopatamos,
Mit a kangarunic shoomp,
Dey feared he'd smash de Catacombs,
Each dime der Breitmann bump.

De pretty liddle cocodettes
Lofe efery dings ish new,
"D'ou vient il donc ce grand M'sieu?
O sacre nom de Dieu!"
In fain dey kicks deir veet on high,
And sky like vlyin geese,
Dey can not kick de hat afay
From Breitmann in Paris.

O vhere vas id der Breitmann life?
Oopon de Rond Point gay,
Vot shdreet lie shoost pehind his house?
La rue de Rabelais.
Aroundt de corner Harper's shtands
Vhere Yankee drinks dey mill,
Vhile shdraight ahet, agross de shdreet,
Der lies de Bal Mabille.

Id's all along de Elysees,
Id's oop de Boulevarce,
He's sampled all de weinshops,
Und he's vinked at efery garce.
Dou schveet plack-silken Gabrielle,
O let me learn from dee,
If 'tis in lofe - or absinthe drunks,
Dat dis wild ghost may pe?

Und dou may'st kneel in Notre Dame,
Und veep away dy sin,
Vhile I go vight at Barriere balls,
Oontil mine poots cave in;
Boot if ve pray, or if ve sin-
Vhile nodings ish refuse,
Tis all de same in Paris here,
So long ash l'on s'amuse.

O life, mein dear, at pest or vorst,
Ish boot a vancy ball,
Its cratest shoy a vild gallop,
Vhere madness goferns all.
Und should dey toorn ids gas-light off,
Und nefer leafe a shbark,
Sdill I'd find my vay to Heafen - or-
Dy lips, lofe, in de dark.

O crown your het mit roses, lofe!
O keep a liddel sprung!
Oonendless wisdom ish but dis:
To go it vhile you're yung!
Und Age vas nefer coom to him,
To him Spring plooms afresh,
Who finds a livin' spirit in
Der Teufel und der Flesh.


DER Breitmann sits in la Sorbonne,
A note-pook in his hand,
'Tvas dere he vent to lectures,
Und in oldt Louis le Grand.
Id's more ash two und dwendy years
Since here I used mein pen;
Oh, where ish all de characders,
Dat I hafe known since denn?

Der cratest boet efer vas,
Der pest I efer known,
Vent lecdures here, too, shoost like me,
Le Sieur Francoys Villon.
He raise de teufel all arount,
He hear de Sorbonne chime;
Crate shpirid ender in mein heart,
Und mofe mein soul to rhyme.


Dictes moy - in what shpirit land
Ish Clara Lafontaine?
Or Pomare, or La Frisette,
Who blazed on soosh a train?
Shveet Echo flings de quesdion pack,
O'er lake or shdreamlet lone;
All eartly peauty fades afay,
Vhere ish dem lofed ones gone?

Oh, vhere ish Lola Montez now,
So loved in efery land?
How oft I shmoked dose cigarettes
She rollt mit vairy hand!
Dat mighdy soul, dat shplendit brick,
A saint's pecome to be,
For mit soosh saints der Breitmann make
His Hagiologie.

Und vhere ish La Pochardinette?
Ish she too mit de dead?
She loafed de Latin Quarter mit
A hat und fedder on her het.
Lebe wohl petite Pochardinette!
Qui ne safait refuser,
Ni la ponche a la bleine ferre,
Ni sa pouche a un paiser.

O Prince! dese quesdions all are nix,
I sit here all alone,
Mit von refrain to end de shdrain,
Vhere ish mein lofed vons gone?
Vhen Marcovitch has cut und run,
Und Schneider's off de ving,
Some cray old reprobate like me
Vill of dese lofed vons sing.


DERE woned once a studente,
All in der Stadt Paris,[56]
Whom jeder der ihn kennte,
Der rowdy Breitmann hiess.
He roosted in de rue La Harpe,
Im Luxembourg Hotel,
'Twas shoost in anno '48,
Dat all dese dings pefel.

Boot he who vouldt go hoontin now
To find dat rue La Harpe,
Moost hafe oongommon shpecdagles,
Und look darnation sharp.
For der Kaisar und his Hausmann
Mit hauses made so vree,
Dere roon shoost now a Bouleverse
Vhere dis shdreet used to pe.

In dis Hotel de Luxembourg,
A vild oldt shdory say,
A shtudent vonce pring home a dame,
Und on de nexter day,
He pooled a ribbon from her neck-
Off fell de lady's het;
She'd trafelled from de guillotine,
Und valked de city - deadt.

Boot Breitmann nefer cared himself
If dis vas falsch or drue,
I kess he hat mit lifin gals
Pout quite enough to do.
Und Februar vas gomin,
Ganz revolutionnaire,
Und vhere der Teufel had vork on hand,
Der Hans vas alvays dere.

Und darker grew de beople's brows,
No Banquet could dey raise,
So dey shtood und shvore at gorners,
Or dey singed de Marseillaise.
Und here und dere a crashin sound
Like forcin shutters ran,
Und boorstin gun-schmidts' vindows in
Hard vorked der Breitemann.

He helped to howl Les Girondins,
To cheer de beople's hearts;
He maket dem bild parricades
Mit garriages und garts.
Vhen a bretty maiden sendinel
Vonce ask de countersign,
He gafe das kind a rousin giss,
Gott hute dir und dein!

Und wilder vent de pattle,
France spread her oriflamme,
Und deeper roared de sturm bell,
De bell of Notre Dame;
Und he who nefer heard it,
O'er shots und cries of fear,
Loud booming like a dragon's roar,
Has someding yet to hear.

Und in de Fauborg Sainte Antoine
Dere comed a fusillade,
Und dyin groans und fallin dead
Vere roundt dat parricade,
But der song of Revolution
From a tousand voices round,
Made a fearful opera gorus
To de deat' gries on de ground.

Und all around dose parricades
Dey raise der teufel dere;
Somedimes dey vork mit pig-axes,
Und somedimes mit gewehr.
Dey maket prifate houses
Gife all deir arms afay,
Und denn oopon de panels
Dey writet Armes donnees.

Und ve saw mid roarin vollies,
Shtreaked like banded settin suns,
Two regiments coome ofer,
Und telifer oop deir guns.
Hei! - how de deers vere roonin:
Hei! - how dey gryed hurrahs!
For dey saw de vight vas ofer,
Und dey know dey gained deir cause.

Dus spoke deir hearts outboorstin,
In battle by de blade,
From sun to sun mit roarin gun
Und donnerin parricade.
In vain pefore de depudies
De princes tremblin stood,
Vot comes in France too late a day
Cooms shoost in dime for blood.

Vhen de Tuileries vas daken,
Amid de scotterin shot,
Und vlyin stones, und howlin,
Und curses vild und hot,
'Tvas dere Hans clobbed his musket,
Und dere de man vas first
To roosh into de palace,
Ven de toors vere in-geburst.

Some vellers burn de guart-haus,
Some trink des Konigs wein;
Some fill deir hats mit rasbry sham,
Und prandy beeches fein.
Hans Breitmann in de gitchen
Vas shdare like avery ding,
To see vot lots of victual-de-dees
Id dakes to feed a king.

Und oder volk, like plackguarts,
Vent dook de goaches out;
Und burnin dem, dey rolled dem
Afay mit yell und shout.
Der Breitmann in der barlor,
Help writen rapidly,
La liberte pour la Pologne!
Likevise - pour l'Italie!

Den in der Tuileries courtyard
Ten tousand volk come on;
Dey vas gissin und hurrahin
For to dink der king vas gone.
Some vas hollerin und tantzin
Round de blazin oldt caboose;
Vhen Frantschmen kits a goin,
Den dey lets der teufel loose.

Boot von veller set me laughin,
Who roosh madly roun de field;
He hat rop de Cluny Museum,
Und gestohlen speer und schild.
Mit a sblendit royal charger,
Vitch he hat somevhere found,
Like a trunken Don Quixote,
He vent tearin oop und round.

Doun vent de line of Bourbons,
Doun vent de vork of years,
Ash de pillars of deir temple
Ge-crashed like splintered speers;
Und o'er dem rosed a phantom,
Wild, beautiful, und weak,
Vhile millions gry arount her-
Vive! vive la Republique;

Tree days mid shdiflin powder shmoke,
Tree days mid cheers und groans,
Ve fought to guard de parricades,
Or pile dem oop mit shtones.
De hand vitch held de bistol denn,
Or made de crowbar bite,
Das war de same Hans Breitmann's hand
Vitch now dese verses write.



"Vlaenderen, dag en nacht
Denk ik aen u.
Waer ik ook ben en vaer,
Gy zyt my altyd naer.
Vlaenderen, dag en nacht
Denk ik aen u.

Overal vrolykheid,
Overal lust.
Maegden van fier gelaet,
Knapen zoo vroom en draet.
Overal vrolykheid,
Overal lust."
- Hoffmann von Fallersleben.


VHEN sommer drees shake fort deir leafs,
Ash maids shake out deir locks,
Und singen mit de rifulets,
Vitch ripplen round de rocks,
Und beople swarm land-outwards,
Und cities weary men,
Hans Breitmann rode de Belgier mark
For Spa in Les Ardennes.

Und vhen he came to Spadenland,
He found it fein und fair,
For dey pour him out de peke schnapps,
Dazu elixer rare;
Und mit a soldier's inshdink
To find a shanse to shoot,
Mitout delay he fire afay
Right in de Grande Redoute.[57]

De virst shot dat der Breitmann fired
He pring de peaches down,
For he hit de double zero mit
A gold Napoleon.
Und ash he raked de shiners in,
He hummed a liddle doon:
"I kess I tont try dat again,"
Said he, dis afdernoon.

Boot vhen he coom to rouge et noir,
A tear fell tripplin denn,
Id look so moosh like goot old dimes,
To come dose games again.
Yet vhen he lossed a hundred francs,
He sadly toorned afay,
"I'd rader keep de tiger here,
Dan vight him, any day."

Und shtanding py de daple,
He saw a French lorette
Vat porrowed shpecie all around,
Und lossed at efery bet.
"Id's all de same mit dis or dat,
Or any kind of sin,
De lorette or de rolette - bot'
Will make de money shpin."

He trinket of Le Pouhon well,
Und from La Sauveniere;
He tried it ad de Barisart,
Und auch de Geronstere.
"Dey say dat Troot' lie in a well,
So trink from all we can,
Und here we'll prove dat Troot is Health,"
Dat's so, sayd Breitemann.

So long in ruined Franchimont
He sat on hollowed ground,
Und dinked of Wilhelm de la Marck,
Who'd raked dat coontry round.
"Mein Gott! how id vas mofe mine heart
To read in hishdory,
Und find de scattered shinin lights
Of vellers shoost like me!

"Dis nople boar-pig of Ardennes,
Dis shtately Wallowin lord,
Vas make him vamous py de pen,
Und glorious py de swordt.
Und showed his hero-scholarship,
Vhen he wrote to de pishop, 'Satis,
Brulabo monasterium
Vestrum, si non payatis.'

"Dey say dat in de keller here
Dere lifes a coblin briest,
Dereto a teufelsjagersmann
Vot guard a specie chest.
O if I vonce could find de vay,
Und spot dat box of checks,
I voonder shoost how long 'twould pe
Pefore I'd twis deir necks."

Und in de Walk of Meyerbeer,
Vhere plashin brooklets ring,
He see vhere in de water wild
De wood-birds flip deir wing.
"Ash de prooklet's lost in de rifer,
Und de rifer's lost in de sea,
Mine soul kits lost on water 'plain,'"
Says Breitemann, says he.

Und ash he walked de Meyerbeer
He marcked, peside de way,
A rock shoost like a wild boar's head,
Vraie tete du sanglier.
Der Breitmann heafe a shiant sigh,
Und say mit 'motion grand:
Von crate idee ish uber all
In dis der Schweinpig's land.

He drafel troo de Val d'Ambleve,
He lounge de schweet Sept Heures,
He shdare indo de window-shops,
Und see de painted ware.[58]
He looket at de fans und dings,
Denn said, "To tell de trut',
Dere's painted vares more dear ash dis
Oop shdairs in La Redoute."

Und sittin in de Champignon,
Vitch rose 'neat Lofe's schweet hand,
He read in books of Marmontel,
Of Jeannette et Lubin.
Id's nice to see Simplicitas
Rococoed oop mit vlowers,
Und dink soosh virtue shdill may life
In dis base vorldt of ours.

'Tvas here, oopon de Spadoumont
Deir gottashe used to set;
'Tvas here they keeped von simple cow
Likevise an lettuce-bett.
Berhaps I hafe crown vorldly since,
Yet shdill may druly say,
Dat in mine poyhood's tays I vas
Apout so good ash dey.

But he vot vant to see dis land,
Und has nod time for all:
Eash woodland nook und shady brook;
On Herr Marcette shouldt call.
For he has baintet all to live
Vhen de drees demselfs are gone;
Und shoost so goot as artist, auch,
Ish he bon compagnon.

Farevell, schveet Spa - dou home of vlowers,
Of ruin and of rock,
Vhere vild pirds sing und de band ish blay
Eash day at sefen o'clock.
If all de shbrees dat Spa has seen
Vere melted into von,
De soul vouldt reach Nirwana - lost
In transcendental fun.


"Hupsa! jonker Jan,
Die wel ruiter worden kan."

BOON tidings to der Breitmann came
Ash he at table end,
Dere's right goot fisch at Blankenberghe,
Und oysters in Ostend.
Denn to Ostland ve will reiten gaen,
To Ostland o'er de sand,
Dou und I mit pridle drawn
For dere ish de oyster land.

Und vhen dey shtood bei Ostersee,
Vhere de waters roar like sin,
Dere coom five hundert fischer volk
To dake der Breitmann in.
"Gotts doonder! Should ve doomple down
Amoong de waters plue,
I kess you'd vant more help from me
Dan I should vant from you!

"If you hat peen vhere I hafe peen
Und see vot I hafe see,
Vhere de surf rise oop nine tausend feet,
In de land of Nieuw Jarsie
Und schwimmed dat surf ash I hafe schwimmed,
Peside de Jersey stran'"-
From dat day fort' de Ostland men
Shdeered glear of der Breitemann.

Boot von ding set him schvearin so,
I dinked he'd nefer cease,
De Ostend oysters kostet more
In Ostend als Paris.
Hans asked an anciendt fisherman,
To 'splain dis if he may,
Und says he, "Mijn Heer - dey're beter hier
Als ein hundert leagues afay.

"Und as de oysters beter hier
Of course dey kostet more"-
Der Breitmann dook his bilcrim shdaff,
Und toorned him to de toor.
Says Hans, "De Vlaemsche fischermen
Can sheat de vorldt I pet
Dey sheaten von anoder too,
All's fisch to a Dutchman's net.

"Der king peginned a palace hier,
De palace hat to shtop,
He foundt de beoples sheaten so
He gife de bildin oop.
Aldough das Leben hier ish goot,
Ad least Ostend-sibly"-
So shpoke der Breitemann und cut
Dat city py de sea.


"Wie kennt die stad waer alles nog
Van Vlaenderens grootheid spreekt?
Waer ontrouw, valschheid en bedrog
Van schaemte nog verbleekt?"
- Ledeganck.

If I hat gold, as I hafe time,
I tells you how 'tvere shpent,
On efery year I'd shtay a week
In Vlanderen's hoofstad, Gent.
For, oh! de sveet wild veelins,
In dat stad do mofe me so,
Vhen I'd dink of all de clorious men
Vot life dere long aco.

If efer man hat manly heart,
He'd veel dat heart to beat,
Vhen mit de oldten dime of Ghent
He valks troo efery shdreet.
Und ach! de volk are yet so goot,
It gave me soosh a pliss,
Vhen I hear a bier-hous spielman sing
A melodie like dis:-

"Het was op eenen Monday,
All on a Monday free,
Dat mijnheere Jacob Van Artevelde
Unto his men said he:
He seide - 'Mijn lief gesellen,
Ve all moost ride out land,
And trive our way to Bruges town
Or Brussel in Braband.'

"Und as he oonto Brussel cam,
De meisjes sprong from bed,
Und found Mynheere Van Artevelde
Mit a cross-bolt troo his head."
Und shoost pecause dis bier-hous song
Recht troo my heartsen vent,
I feel dat I could life und die
All in de down of Gent.




IN dis boem, mein freund der Herr Breitmann hafe his fiews on art
pefore-geset mit a deepness und shorthood vich is bropably oonliked
in Aesthetik. Ve hafe here, within de circumcomprehensifeness of
dirty-two lines, a theorie vitch - shortsomely exbressed - sends to
der teufel efery dings ash vas efer gescribed pefore on kunst or
art, und maket efery podies from Baumgartner doun to Fischer und
Taine, look shoost like puddin-headet old gasbalgs. Boot to de
boem. For de informadion of dem ash ish not gestudied art, I vould
shtate dat Adriaan Brauwer (who ish as regards an unvollkomene
technik de first of all Holland malers), vas nefer paint nodings
boot droonken plackguards und liederlich dings, und Van Ostade und
Jan Steen vas in most deir bilds a goot deal like him.

Hans reitet troo de Nederland,
From Rotterdam below,
To Gravenhaag und Leyden
Und Haarlem - all a row;
He shtoodit in de galleries
A tausend works of art;
Boot ach - der Adriaan Brauwer,
Vent most teepest to his heart.

Und dus exglaim der Breitmann
In woonder-solemn shdrain,
"De cratest men vere Brauwer,
Van Ostade, und Jan Steen.
Der Raffael vas vel enof;
Dat ish in his shmall vay;
Boot - Gott im Himmel! - vot vas he
Coompared mit soosh as dey?

"Shoost see dat vight of troonken boors-
Von tears de oder's goat:
Vhile de oder mit a pointet knife
Ish goin for his troat.
Und a madchen mit a tree-leg shtuhl
Ish clip him on de het,
In dese higher human passion valks,
Der Raffael's coldt und deadt.

"De more ve digs into de eart'-
Or less ve seeks a star,-
De nearer ve to Natur coom,
More pantheistich far;
To him who reads dis myst'ry right,
Mit insbiration gifen,
Der Raffael's rollen in de dirt,
Vhile Brauwer soars to Heafen.


TIS shveet to valk in Holland towns
Apout de twilicht tide,
Vhen all ish shdill on proad canals,
Safe vhere a poat may clide.
Shdrange light on darkenin vater falls,
In long soft lines afar,
Der abenddroth on dunkelheit,
Vitch shows - or hides - a star.

De pridges risen all aroundt
So quaindly, left und right,
Pedween each pridge und shattow, lies,
A lemon of yellow light,
Und das volk a-goin ober,
So darklin onwarts pass,
Dey look like Chinese shattows - shown
Apofe a lookin-glass.

All shdiller grows, und shdiller,
Sogar die efenin preeze,
Ish only heardt far ober het
In dese long lines of drees;
A real oldt Holland feelin
Cooms gadderin ober all,
You'd nefer dink a sturm hat peen
Oopon dis Grand Canawl.

De nople houses! - how dey'd mofe
An old New Yorker's heart,
Time vas - twix dese und dose at home
You couldn't tell 'em part,
Mit crate brass knockers on de toors,
Und parlors town so low
You see de crates a glowin prite
O'er carbets ash you go.

Dere's comfort-full of avery dings,
You veel it ash you look,
You knows de volks ish opulend,
Und keep a bully cook;
Und oopon de high camine,
Or here und dere on shelf,
Dere's Japanesisch dings in rows,
Pe mingled oop mit delf.

Dere's noding in dis Holland life,
Vitch seems of present day,
De fery shildren in de shdreeds
Look quaintlich as dey blay;
De liddle rosy housemaids,
In bicdures vell I know,
De dames und heers hafe all an air
Of sixdy years ago.

They may dalk of anciendt hishdory
Und for romantisch seek,
De ding dat mofes most teeply ish
Old-vashioned - not antique.
O if you live in Leyden town
You'll meet, if troot' pe told,
De forms of all de freunds who tied
Vhen du werst six years old.


Oldt Flamisch.

HET vas Mijn Heer van Torenborg,
Ride oud oopon de sand,
Und vait to hear a paardeken;
Coom tromplin from de land.
He vaited vhen de boeren volk
Vent oud oopon de plain,
He vaited dill de veary crows
Flew nestwarts home acain.

He vaited ash de wild fox vaits
In long-some hoonger noth,
He vaited dill de flitterin bats
Vere plack on Abendroth.
Id's woe to watch for taily bread
Or bide forgotten call,
Boot oh, to vait for heartsen lofe
Ish veariest of dem all.

"O dat ish not mine laity's prooch
Shoost now so star-like shined,
O dat ish not mine laity's haar
Soft floatin on de wind.
Her goot crayhound mit soosh a step
Vas nefer vont to go,
Und dat is niet her paardeken
Whose shtep so vell I know.

"Dat light ish speer light from a lanz
Vitch'll part mine pody und soul,
De floatin haar is a pennon gay
Or wafin banderol.
De crayhound ish a ploot-hound wild
Vitch long has dracked me here,
Und het paardeken ish a var-horse
Vot has hoonted me like deer."

Well shpoke Mijn Heer van Torenborg
All drue vas afery wordt,
For dey bored him troo mit lanzen,
Und dey hewed him mit de swordt.
Dey killt him armloss, harmlos;
De plooty reiver band;
Und puried him so careloosly
Dat his vace shtick out de sand.

Boot e'er night's plack hat toorned to red
Or e'er de stars vere gone,
Dere came de shtep of a paardeken
Soft tromplin, tromplin on.
A laity fair climped off on him
Und trip mit dainty toes:-
Boot oh, mijn Gott! - how she vas shkreem
Ven she trot on her drue lofe's nose!

"Oh vot ish dis I trots opon?
Id's shape fool well I know,
Dere nefer yet vas flower like dis,
Dat in de garten crow.
Dere nefer yet vas fruit like dis
Ash ripen on a dree;
Het is Mijn Heer van Torenborg
Dat kan ik blainly see.

"Dat heerlijk nose, van Torenborg,
Ish known of anciend dime,
'Tis writ in olten chronikel
Und sung in minsdrel rhyme.
Und dis, de noblest of de race
Since hishdory pegans,
Ish shtickin here - shdraighdt out de dirt,
Shoost like some boer manns.

"Oh cuss de man dat mordered him!
Ach, cuss him oop and down,
Ja - cuss him troo de forest roads,
Und tamn him in de toun!
Und burn his vater und moder,
Vhere'er deir vootshteps vall,
Mit his schwesters und his broders,
De teufel rake dem all!

"May afery cuss dat e'er vas cusst,
Since cussin foorst pegan;
Pe hoorled in von drementous cuss,
Acainsdt dat nasdy man!
From de foorst crate cuss on Adam,
To de smalles' of de crop"-
Here de tead man gafe a shifer,
Und gry oud - "For Gott's sake - shdop!

"Dere's a cerdain lot of shwearin,
Vitch anger alvays crafes;
Boot spite like dat's enof to pring
De tead men from deir craves.
I can't lie here no longer,
Und hear soosh pizen pain;
Und since you've shtirred me out, I kess
I'll coom to life acain."

Mit von drementous shkreem of pliss,
His drue lofe shtood de shock,
Den catcht him wildly py de nose,
"Ach Torenborg - lev'st du nock!
Ach ja - du aint'st nod tead yet!
Dere's life shdill lef' pehind,
Gott pless de dat lef' dy nose,
Shdill wafin in de wind."

Mit hands all ofer diamonds,
She loosed de sand apout,
Mit an oyster-shell so wildly
She digged her lofer out.
"Und now dou'rt in free air, lofe!
Who warst shoost now in sand!
Dere vasn't ish a nicer man,
In all de Nederland!

Vhere vas dit liedeken written,
Vhere vas dit liedeken sing,
Dat had gedone Hans Breitmann,
In de town of Schevening!
'Tvas written ober Rheinwein,
'Tvas written ober bier-
Und wer das lied gesungen hat,
Gott geb ihm ein glucklich's jahr.[59]


TO Amsterd-m came Breitmann
All in de Kermes tide;
Yonge Maegden allegader
Filled de straat on afery side.
De meisjes in de straaten
Vere tantzin alle nacht long;
Dere vas kissen, dere vas trinken,
Mit a roar of Holland song.

Who went into de straaten
Ven de sonn had gone his day,
De Dootch gals quickly grapped him
Und tantzed him wild avay.
Dere was der Prinz von Capua,
Who fell among dese wags;
Dey tantzed him off in a carmagnole,
Und sent him home in rags.

Und den at afery gorner,
So peaudifool to see,
De volk vas bilin dough-nuts,
Or else vas fryin tea.
Und Kermes cakes mit boetry,
Vitch land-volk dinks a dreat,
Mit all of Barnum's blayed out shows
In dents along de shdreet.

Id pring de tears to Breitmann's eyes,
To find in many a shtand
Vot oft he'd baid a quarder for
To see in a distand land.
De Aztec dwins und de Siamese
(Dough soom vere a wachsen sham);
Mit de Beardet Frau und de Bear Woman-
All here in Amsterdam

De fashion here in Nederland
Ish not vot you'd soopose,
Mit oos, men bays de vomens,
Boot de Dootch gals hires deir beaux!
Dey hire dem for de season,
Und because moosh rain ish fell,
Dey alvays bays a higher brice,
For a man mit an umberell.

Und dere vas Nord Hollander maids,
So woonderfool to see,
Mit caps of gold und goldne pins,
Und quaint orfeverie.
Likewise de Zeeland Boersmen,
Mit silber bootons gay;
Und silber belts, und silber knives,
Mijn Gott! - how sdrange vere dey!

But dough de men wore silber gear,
Und de vrouws in gold were tall,
De gals vere gabblin all de dimes,
Und de men said noding at all.
"Dey say dat sbeech is silbern,
Boot silence golden pe,
Dat aint de vay dey vork id here,"
Said Breitemann, said he.

Goot Gott! how Breitmann vent it,
In moonlighdt or in rain;
Den vakened to Schied-m it,
Ven de mornin peamed again.
For to solfe von awfool broplem,
He vas efer shdill incline;
If - den wijn is beter als de min,[60]
Or - de min doet veel meer als de wijn.

Dwo weeks der Breitmann studiet,
Vile he vent it on de howl.
He shpree so moosh to find de troot,
Dat he lookt like a bi-led owl.
Den he say, "Ik wil honor Bacchus,
So long as ik leven shall;
Boot not so moosh vercieren
As to blace him ofer all.

De rose of lofe is lofely
In zomer ven it plow;
De bush shdill gifes a bromise,
In winter mid de shnow;
Ja, als de bloeme is geplukt,
En van den steel genomen,[61]
Ve know de peautiful vill life,
Till zomer is gekomen.

Boot oh dose vas arch-heafenly dimes,
Ven by mine lofe I sat;
Und see de maedchen pring de grapes,
Und crash dem in a vat.
Und ven her glances unto mine
In plessfool ropture toorn;
I dink dere ne'er vas no dwo crapes
Like dem plue eyes of hern.

Wat is soeter als de trinken,[62]
Ja - niet kan beter zyn.
Niet is soeter as de minne,
It smackt nog beter als wijn.
Es giebt nichts wie die Madchen,
Es gibt nichts wie das Bier,
Wer liebt nicht alle beide,
Wird gar kein Cavalier.

O vot ve vant to quickest come
Ish dat vot's soonest gone.
Dis life ish boot a passin from
de efer-gomin-on.
De gloser dat ve looks ad id,
De shmaller it ish grow;
Who goats und spurs mit lofe und wein,
He makes it fastest go.




HOW wunderschon das Vaterland
In audumn-life abbears;
Vot rainpows gild ids vallies crand,
Ven seen troo vallin tears.
Und VON I'll creet mit sang und klang,
Und drown in goldnen wein;
Old Deutschland's cot her sohn again:
Hans Breitmann's on der Rhein.

Und doughts ish schwell dat mighdy heart,
Too awfool for make known;
Ven dey shunt him from de railroat car
Und tropped him in Cologne.
De holy towers of de dome
Cleam, twilicht-veiled, afar;
Und like some lonely bilgrim's pipe,
Dim shines de efenin star.

Hans look to find his baggage check,
Und see dat all ish shdraighdts,
Denn toorn him to de city toors,
"Mein nadife land - wie gehts?"
Boot dat's vot all who read may run-
Fool blainly armies write;
Id's ofer all half Shermany,
Set down in Black and White.

Oh, Black and White! O Weiss and Schwarz!
Vot dings ish dis to see?
I vonder vot in future years
Your mission ish to pe?
Also in crate America
We had soosh colors too!
Die Farb' sind mir nicht unbekannt[63]-
Id's shoost tout comme chez nous.

Next tay to de Cathedral
He vent de dings to view,
Und found it shoost drei thaler cost
To see de sighds all troo.
"Id's tear," said Hans; "boot go ahet,
I'fe cot de cash all right;
Boot id's queer dat's only Protestands
Vot mosdly see de sighdt!

"Im Mittelalter I hafe read
De shoorsh vas alvays sure-
An open bicdure gallerie,
Und book for all de poor.
Boot now de dings is so arrange
No poor volk can get in;
We Yankees und de Englisch are
Pout all ash shbends de tin.

"I shmiles like Mephistopheles
In shoorshes ven I see
Poor Catholics vollerin round apout
To shdeal a sighdt - troo ME!
Dey peep und creep roundt chapel gates,
Boot soon kits trofe afay,
Dey gross demselfs, und make a brayer-
Boot den dey cannot bay!

"Dese Deutsche sacrisdans might learn
More goot in Italy,
Where beoples bays shoost half de brice,
For ten dimes more to see,
De volk vot dink I shbeak sefere
Apout dese Kuster vays,
May read vot Mr. Badeker
In his Belgine Hand Buch says."

Und valkin oop und town de down
Von ding vas shdill de same:
Shoost ash of oldt he saw de shpread
Of Jean Farina's name.
He find it nort', he find it sout',
He find it eferyvhere;
Dere vas no house in all Cologne
Boot J. M. F. vas dere.[64]

De best Cologne in all Cologne
I'll shwear for cerdain sure,
Ish maket in de Julichsplatz
Und dat at Numero Four.
Boot of dis Cologne in Julichsplatz
Let dis pe understood,
Dat some of id ish foorst-rate pad,
Vhile some is foorst-rate good.

Boot von ding drafellers moost opserve,
Dis treadful trut I dells,
Fast ash dis Farinaceous crowd
So vast hafe grown the schmells-
Dose awfool schmells in gass' und strass'
Vitch mofe crate Coleridge squalm:
If so he wrote, vot vouldt he write
Apout dem now, py tam?

Of all de schmells I efer schmelt,
Py gutter, sink, or well,
At efery gorner of Cologne
Dere's von can peat dat schmell.
Vhen dere you go you'll find it so,
Don't dake de ding on troost;
De meanest skunk in Yankee land
Vould die dere of disgoost.

Boot noding dinked der Breitmann
Of schmutz or idle schein,
Vhen he sat in Abendammerung
Und looket owd on der Rhein
Im goldnen gleam - vhile pealin far
Rang shlow, shveet kloster bells,
Und in de dim, plue peaudiful,
Rose distant Drachenfels.

Dey trinket lieb Liebfrauenmilch
So pure ash voman's trut';
De singed de songs of Shermany,
De songs of Breitmann's yout'.
De songs mit tears of vanished years,
Made peaudiful in wein.
Dus endet out de firster tay
Of Breitmann on der Rhein.



"Were diu werlt alle min,
Von deme mere unze an den Rin.
Des wolt ih mih darben,
Daz diu dame von Engellant
Lege an minen armen."
- Carmina Burana.

AM Rhein! Acain am Rheine!
In boat oopon der Rhein!
De castle-bergs soft goldnen
Im Abendsonnenschein,
Mit lots of Rudesheimer,
Und saitenklang und sang,
Und laties singin lieder,
Ash ve go sailin 'long.

Und von fair Englisch dame
Vas dere, so wunderscheen;
Vene'er der Breitmann saw her,
Id made his heartsen pain.
Oh, dose long-tailed veilchen Augen,
Vitch voke soosh hopes und fears,
Deir shape vas nod like almonds,
Boot more like fallin tears.

Und shpecdagles were o'er dem,
De glass of pince-nez kind,
In mercy to de beoples,
Less dey pe shdrucken blind.
Und gazin in dem glasses,
Reflected he pehold
De Rhine, mit all de shdeam-poats,
Und crags in Sonnengold.

De signs upon de bier-haus;
De gals a-washin close;
De wein-garts on de moundain,
Like heafenly shdairs in rows:
De banks, basaltic-paven,
Like bee-hife cells to view;
A donkey shtandin on dem,
Likevise her lofer too.

All dis oopon dos glasses
Vas blainly to pe seen;
One saw whate'er vas nodiced,
Py de schone Englandrinn.
Boot oh! de fery lofe-most
Of all dat lofe-most pe
Her own plue veilchen Augen-
Herself she couldt not see.

So ist es in dis Leben;
For beaudy oft we spied,
Nor know de cratest peaudy
Ish in our soul inside.
Mein Gott! Vot himmlisch shplendor
Vas seen mitout an toubt,
If some crate bower supernal
Vas toorn oos insite out!

Und gazin long on Natur,
Und gazin long on Man,
Shdill all dings glite voruber,
Ash since de vorldt pegan:
Ash in dat laity's glasses,

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