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Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz by L. Frank Baum

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P-I-N-H-E-A-D; and that spelled 'pinhead,' which was a reflection on
my intelligence."

"Surely no one could blame you for cutting your name short," said
Ozma, sympathetically. "But didn't you cut it almost too short?"

"Perhaps so," replied the Wizard. "When a young man I ran away from
home and joined a circus. I used to call myself a Wizard, and do
tricks of ventriloquism."

"What does that mean?" asked the Princess.

"Throwing my voice into any object I pleased, to make it appear that
the object was speaking instead of me. Also I began to make balloon
ascensions. On my balloon and on all the other articles I used in the
circus I painted the two initials: 'O. Z.', to show that those things
belonged to me.

"One day my balloon ran away with me and brought me across the deserts
to this beautiful country. When the people saw me come from the sky
they naturally thought me some superior creature, and bowed down
before me. I told them I was a Wizard, and showed them some easy
tricks that amazed them; and when they saw the initials painted on the
balloon they called me Oz."

"Now I begin to understand," said the Princess, smiling.

"At that time," continued the Wizard, busily eating his soup while
talking, "there were four separate countries in this Land, each one of
the four being ruled by a Witch. But the people thought my power was
greater than that of the Witches; and perhaps the Witches thought so
too, for they never dared oppose me. I ordered the Emerald City to be
built just where the four countries cornered together, and when it was
completed I announced myself the Ruler of the Land of Oz, which
included all the four countries of the Munchkins, the Gillikins, the
Winkies and the Quadlings. Over this Land I ruled in peace for many
years, until I grew old and longed to see my native city once again.
So when Dorothy was first blown to this place by a cyclone I arranged
to go away with her in a balloon; but the balloon escaped too soon and
carried me back alone. After many adventures I reached Omaha, only to
find that all my old friends were dead or had moved away. So, having
nothing else to do, I joined a circus again, and made my balloon
ascensions until the earthquake caught me."

"That is quite a history," said Ozma; "but there is a little more
history about the Land of Oz that you do not seem to
understand--perhaps for the reason that no one ever told it you. Many
years before you came here this Land was united under one Ruler, as it
is now, and the Ruler's name was always 'Oz,' which means in our
language 'Great and Good'; or, if the Ruler happened to be a woman,
her name was always 'Ozma.' But once upon a time four Witches leagued
together to depose the king and rule the four parts of the kingdom
themselves; so when the Ruler, my grandfather, was hunting one day, one
Wicked Witch named Mombi stole him and carried him away, keeping him a
close prisoner. Then the Witches divided up the kingdom, and ruled
the four parts of it until you came here. That was why the people
were so glad to see you, and why they thought from your initials that
you were their rightful ruler."

"But, at that time," said the Wizard, thoughtfully, "there were two
Good Witches and two Wicked Witches ruling in the land."

"Yes," replied Ozma, "because a good Witch had conquered Mombi in the
North and Glinda the Good had conquered the evil Witch in the South.
But Mombi was still my grandfather's jailor, and afterward my father's
jailor. When I was born she transformed me into a boy, hoping that
no one would ever recognize me and know that I was the rightful
Princess of the Land of Oz. But I escaped from her and am now
the Ruler of my people."

"I am very glad of that," said the Wizard, "and hope you will consider
me one of your most faithful and devoted subjects."

"We owe a great deal to the Wonderful Wizard," continued the Princess,
"for it was you who built this splendid Emerald City."

"Your people built it," he answered. "I only bossed the job, as we
say in Omaha."

"But you ruled it wisely and well for many years," said she, "and made
the people proud of your magical art. So, as you are now too old to
wander abroad and work in a circus, I offer you a home here as long
as you live. You shall be the Official Wizard of my kingdom, and be
treated with every respect and consideration."

"I accept your kind offer with gratitude, gracious Princess," the
little man said, in a soft voice, and they could all see that
tear-drops were standing in his keen old eyes. It meant a good deal
to him to secure a home like this.

"He's only a humbug Wizard, though," said Dorothy, smiling at him.

"And that is the safest kind of a Wizard to have," replied Ozma, promptly.

"Oz can do some good tricks, humbug or no humbug," announced Zeb, who
was now feeling more at ease.

"He shall amuse us with his tricks tomorrow," said the Princess. "I
have sent messengers to summon all of Dorothy's old friends to meet
her and give her welcome, and they ought to arrive very soon, now."

Indeed, the dinner was no sooner finished than in rushed the
Scarecrow, to hug Dorothy in his padded arms and tell her how glad he
was to see her again. The Wizard was also most heartily welcomed by
the straw man, who was an important personage in the Land of Oz.

"How are your brains?" enquired the little humbug, as he grasped the
soft, stuffed hands of his old friend.

"Working finely," answered the Scarecrow. "I'm very certain, Oz, that
you gave me the best brains in the world, for I can think with them
day and night, when all other brains are fast asleep."

"How long did you rule the Emerald City, after I left here?" was the
next question.

"Quite awhile, until I was conquered by a girl named General Jinjur.
But Ozma soon conquered her, with the help of Glinda the Good, and
after that I went to live with Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman."

Just then a loud cackling was heard outside; and, when a servant threw
open the door with a low bow, a yellow hen strutted in. Dorothy
sprang forward and caught the fluffy fowl in her arms, uttering at the
same time a glad cry.

"Oh, Billina!" she said; "how fat and sleek you've grown."

"Why shouldn't I?" asked the hen, in a sharp, clear voice. "I live on
the fat of the land--don't I, Ozma?"

"You have everything you wish for," said the Princess.

Around Billina's neck was a string of beautiful pearls, and on her
legs were bracelets of emeralds. She nestled herself comfortably in
Dorothy's lap until the kitten gave a snarl of jealous anger and
leaped up with a sharp claw fiercely bared to strike Billina a blow.
But the little girl gave the angry kitten such a severe cuff that it
jumped down again without daring to scratch.

"How horrid of you, Eureka!" cried Dorothy. "Is that the way to treat
my friends?"

"You have queer friends, seems to me," replied the kitten,
in a surly tone.

"Seems to me the same way," said Billina, scornfully, "if that beastly
cat is one of them."

"Look here!" said Dorothy, sternly. "I won't have any quarrelling in
the Land of Oz, I can tell you! Everybody lives in peace here, and
loves everybody else; and unless you two, Billina and Eureka, make up
and be friends, I'll take my Magic Belt and wish you both home again,
IMMEJITLY. So, there!"

They were both much frightened at the threat, and promised meekly to
be good. But it was never noticed that they became very warm friends,
for all of that.

And now the Tin Woodman arrived, his body most beautifully
nickle-plated, so that it shone splendidly in the brilliant light of
the room. The Tin Woodman loved Dorothy most tenderly, and welcomed
with joy the return of the little old Wizard.

"Sir," said he to the latter, "I never can thank you enough for the
excellent heart you once gave me. It has made me many friends,
I assure you, and it beats as kindly and lovingly today as it every did."

"I'm glad to hear that," said the Wizard. "I was afraid it would get
moldy in that tin body of yours."

"Not at all," returned Nick Chopper. "It keeps finely, being preserved
in my air-tight chest."

Zeb was a little shy when first introduced to these queer people; but
they were so friendly and sincere that he soon grew to admire them
very much, even finding some good qualities in the yellow hen. But he
became nervous again when the next visitor was announced.

"This," said Princess Ozma, "is my friend Mr. H. M. Woggle-Bug, T. E.,
who assisted me one time when I was in great distress, and is now the
Dean of the Royal College of Athletic Science."

"Ah," said the Wizard; "I'm pleased to meet so distinguished a personage."

"H. M.," said the Woggle-Bug, pompously, "means Highly Magnified; and
T. E. means Thoroughly Educated. I am, in reality, a very big bug,
and doubtless the most intelligent being in all this broad domain."

"How well you disguise it," said the Wizard. "But I don't doubt your
word in the least."

"Nobody doubts it, sir," replied the Woggle-Bug, and drawing a book
from its pocket the strange insect turned its back on the company and
sat down in a corner to read.

Nobody minded this rudeness, which might have seemed more impolite in
one less thoroughly educated; so they straightway forgot him and
joined in a merry conversation that kept them well amused until
bed-time arrived.

16. Jim, The Cab-Horse

Jim the Cab-horse found himself in possession of a large room with a
green marble floor and carved marble wainscoting, which was so stately
in its appearance that it would have awed anyone else. Jim accepted
it as a mere detail, and at his command the attendants gave his coat a
good rubbing, combed his mane and tail, and washed his hoofs and
fetlocks. Then they told him dinner would be served directly and he
replied that they could not serve it too quickly to suit his
convenience. First they brought him a steaming bowl of soup, which
the horse eyed in dismay.

"Take that stuff away!" he commanded. "Do you take me for a salamander?"

They obeyed at once, and next served a fine large turbot on a silver
platter, with drawn gravy poured over it.

"Fish!" cried Jim, with a sniff. "Do you take me for a tom-cat? Away
with it!"

The servants were a little discouraged, but soon they brought in a
great tray containing two dozen nicely roasted quail on toast.

"Well, well!" said the horse, now thoroughly provoked. "Do you take
me for a weasel? How stupid and ignorant you are, in the Land of Oz,
and what dreadful things you feed upon! Is there nothing that is
decent to eat in this palace?"

The trembling servants sent for the Royal Steward, who came in haste
and said:

"What would your Highness like for dinner?"

"Highness!" repeated Jim, who was unused to such titles.

"You are at least six feet high, and that is higher than any other
animal in this country," said the Steward.

"Well, my Highness would like some oats," declared the horse.

"Oats? We have no whole oats," the Steward replied, with much deference.
"But there is any quantity of oatmeal, which we often cook for breakfast.
Oatmeal is a breakfast dish," added the Steward, humbly.

"I'll make it a dinner dish," said Jim. "Fetch it on, but don't cook
it, as you value your life."

You see, the respect shown the worn-out old cab-horse made him a
little arrogant, and he forgot he was a guest, never having been
treated otherwise than as a servant since the day he was born, until
his arrival in the Land of Oz. But the royal attendants did not heed
the animal's ill temper. They soon mixed a tub of oatmeal with a
little water, and Jim ate it with much relish.

Then the servants heaped a lot of rugs upon the floor and the old
horse slept on the softest bed he had ever known in his life.

In the morning, as soon as it was daylight, he resolved to take a walk
and try to find some grass for breakfast; so he ambled calmly through
the handsome arch of the doorway, turned the corner of the palace,
wherein all seemed asleep, and came face to face with the Sawhorse.

Jim stopped abruptly, being startled and amazed. The Sawhorse stopped
at the same time and stared at the other with its queer protruding
eyes, which were mere knots in the log that formed its body. The legs
of the Sawhorse were four sticks driving into holes bored in the log;
its tail was a small branch that had been left by accident and its
mouth a place chopped in one end of the body which projected a little
and served as a head. The ends of the wooden legs were shod with
plates of solid gold, and the saddle of the Princess Ozma, which was of
red leather set with sparkling diamonds, was strapped to the clumsy body.

Jim's eyes stuck out as much as those of the Sawhorse, and he stared
at the creature with his ears erect and his long head drawn back until
it rested against his arched neck.

In this comical position the two horses circled slowly around each
other for a while, each being unable to realize what the singular thing
might be which it now beheld for the first time. Then Jim exclaimed:

"For goodness sake, what sort of a being are you?"

"I'm a Sawhorse," replied the other.

"Oh; I believe I've heard of you," said the cab-horse; "but you are
unlike anything that I expected to see."

"I do not doubt it," the Sawhorse observed, with a tone of pride. "I
am considered quite unusual."

"You are, indeed. But a rickety wooden thing like you has no right to
be alive."

"I couldn't help it," returned the other, rather crestfallen. "Ozma
sprinkled me with a magic powder, and I just had to live. I know I'm
not much account; but I'm the only horse in all the Land of Oz, so
they treat me with great respect."

"You, a horse!"

"Oh, not a real one, of course. There are no real horses here at all.
But I'm a splendid imitation of one."

Jim gave an indignant neigh.

"Look at me!" he cried. "Behold a real horse!"

The wooden animal gave a start, and then examined the other intently.

"Is it possible that you are a Real Horse?" he murmured.

"Not only possible, but true," replied Jim, who was gratified by the
impression he had created. "It is proved by my fine points. For
example, look at the long hairs on my tail, with which I can whisk
away the flies."

"The flies never trouble me," said the Saw-Horse.

"And notice my great strong teeth, with which I nibble the grass."

"It is not necessary for me to eat," observed the Sawhorse.

"Also examine my broad chest, which enables me to draw deep, full
breaths," said Jim, proudly.

"I have no need to breathe," returned the other.

"No; you miss many pleasures," remarked the cab-horse, pityingly.
"You do not know the relief of brushing away a fly that has bitten
you, nor the delight of eating delicious food, nor the satisfaction of
drawing a long breath of fresh, pure air. You may be an imitation of
a horse, but you're a mighty poor one."

"Oh, I cannot hope ever to be like you," sighed the Sawhorse. "But I
am glad to meet a last a Real Horse. You are certainly the most
beautiful creature I ever beheld."

This praise won Jim completely. To be called beautiful was a novelty
in his experience. Said he:

"Your chief fault, my friend, is in being made of wood, and that I
suppose you cannot help. Real horses, like myself, are made of flesh
and blood and bones."

"I can see the bones all right," replied the Sawhorse, "and they are
admirable and distinct. Also I can see the flesh. But the blood, I
suppose is tucked away inside."

"Exactly," said Jim.

"What good is it?" asked the Sawhorse.

Jim did not know, but he would not tell the Sawhorse that.

"If anything cuts me," he replied, "the blood runs out to show where I
am cut. You, poor thing! cannot even bleed when you are hurt."

"But I am never hurt," said the Sawhorse. "Once in a while I get
broken up some, but I am easily repaired and put in good order again.
And I never feel a break or a splinter in the least."

Jim was almost tempted to envy the wooden horse for being unable to
feel pain; but the creature was so absurdly unnatural that he decided
he would not change places with it under any circumstances.

"How did you happen to be shod with gold?" he asked.

"Princess Ozma did that," was the reply; "and it saves my legs from
wearing out. We've had a good many adventures together, Ozma and I,
and she likes me."

The cab-horse was about to reply when suddenly he gave a start and a
neigh of terror and stood trembling like a leaf. For around the
corner had come two enormous savage beasts, treading so lightly that
they were upon him before he was aware of their presence. Jim was in
the act of plunging down the path to escape when the Sawhorse cried out:

"Stop, my brother! Stop, Real Horse! These are friends, and will do
you no harm."

Jim hesitated, eyeing the beasts fearfully. One was an enormous Lion
with clear, intelligent eyes, a tawney mane bushy and well kept, and a
body like yellow plush. The other was a great Tiger with purple
stripes around his lithe body, powerful limbs, and eyes that showed
through the half closed lids like coals of fire. The huge forms of
these monarchs of the forest and jungle were enough to strike terror
to the stoutest heart, and it is no wonder Jim was afraid to face them.

But the Sawhorse introduced the stranger in a calm tone, saying:

"This, noble Horse, is my friend the Cowardly Lion, who is the valiant King
of the Forest, but at the same time a faithful vassal of Princess Ozma.
And this is the Hungry Tiger, the terror of the jungle, who longs to
devour fat babies but is prevented by his conscience from doing so.
These royal beasts are both warm friends of little Dorothy and have come
to the Emerald City this morning to welcome her to our fairyland."

Hearing these words Jim resolved to conquer his alarm. He bowed his
head with as much dignity as he could muster toward the savage looking
beasts, who in return nodded in a friendly way.

"Is not the Real Horse a beautiful animal?" asked the Sawhorse admiringly.

"That is doubtless a matter of taste," returned the Lion. "In the
forest he would be thought ungainly, because his face is stretched out
and his neck is uselessly long. His joints, I notice, are swollen and
overgrown, and he lacks flesh and is old in years."

"And dreadfully tough," added the Hungry Tiger, in a sad voice. "My
conscience would never permit me to eat so tough a morsel
as the Real Horse."

"I'm glad of that," said Jim; "for I, also, have a conscience, and it
tells me not to crush in your skull with a blow of my powerful hoof."

If he thought to frighten the striped beast by such language he was
mistaken. The Tiger seemed to smile, and winked one eye slowly.

"You have a good conscience, friend Horse," it said, "and if you
attend to its teachings it will do much to protect you from harm.
Some day I will let you try to crush in my skull, and afterward you
will know more about tigers than you do now."

"Any friend of Dorothy," remarked the Cowardly Lion, "must be our
friend, as well. So let us cease this talk of skull crushing and
converse upon more pleasant subjects. Have you breakfasted, Sir Horse?"

"Not yet," replied Jim. "But here is plenty of excellent clover, so
if you will excuse me I will eat now."

"He's a vegetarian," remarked the Tiger, as the horse began to munch
the clover. "If I could eat grass I would not need a conscience, for
nothing could then tempt me to devour babies and lambs."

Just then Dorothy, who had risen early and heard the voices of the
animals, ran out to greet her old friends. She hugged both the Lion
and the Tiger with eager delight, but seemed to love the King of
Beasts a little better than she did his hungry friend, having known
him longer.

By this time they had indulged in a good talk and Dorothy had told
them all about the awful earthquake and her recent adventures, the
breakfast bell rang from the palace and the little girl went inside to
join her human comrades. As she entered the great hall a voice called
out, in a rather harsh tone:

"What! are YOU here again?"

"Yes, I am," she answered, looking all around to see where the voice
came from.

"What brought you back?" was the next question, and Dorothy's eye
rested on an antlered head hanging on the wall just over the
fireplace, and caught its lips in the act of moving.

"Good gracious!" she exclaimed. "I thought you were stuffed."

"So I am," replied the head. "But once on a time I was part of the
Gump, which Ozma sprinkled with the Powder of Life. I was then for a
time the Head of the finest Flying Machine that was ever known to
exist, and we did many wonderful things. Afterward the Gump was taken
apart and I was put back on this wall; but I can still talk when I
feel in the mood, which is not often."

"It's very strange," said the girl. "What were you when you were
first alive?"

"That I have forgotten," replied the Gump's Head, "and I do not think
it is of much importance. But here comes Ozma; so I'd better hush up,
for the Princess doesn't like me to chatter since she changed her name
from Tip to Ozma."

Just then the girlish Ruler of Oz opened the door and greeted Dorothy
with a good-morning kiss. The little Princess seemed fresh and rosy
and in good spirits.

"Breakfast is served, dear," she said, "and I am hungry. So don't let
us keep it waiting a single minute."

17. The Nine Tiny Piglets

After breakfast Ozma announced that she had ordered a holiday to be
observed throughout the Emerald City, in honor of her visitors. The
people had learned that their old Wizard had returned to them and all
were anxious to see him again, for he had always been a rare favorite.
So first there was to be a grand procession through the streets, after
which the little old man was requested to perform some of his
wizardries in the great Throne Room of the palace. In the afternoon
there were to be games and races.

The procession was very imposing. First came the Imperial Cornet Band
of Oz, dressed in emerald velvet uniforms with slashes of pea-green
satin and buttons of immense cut emeralds. They played the National
air called "The Oz Spangled Banner," and behind them were the standard
bearers with the Royal flag. This flag was divided into four
quarters, one being colored sky-blue, another pink, a third lavender
and a fourth white. In the center was a large emerald-green star, and
all over the four quarters were sewn spangles that glittered
beautifully in the sunshine. The colors represented the four
countries of Oz, and the green star the Emerald City.

Just behind the royal standard-bearers came the Princess Ozma in her
royal chariot, which was of gold encrusted with emeralds and diamonds
set in exquisite designs. The chariot was drawn on this occasion by
the Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger, who were decorated with
immense pink and blue bows. In the chariot rode Ozma and Dorothy, the
former in splendid raiment and wearing her royal coronet, while the
little Kansas girl wore around her waist the Magic Belt she had once
captured from the Nome King.

Following the chariot came the Scarecrow mounted on the Sawhorse, and
the people cheered him almost as loudly as they did their lovely
Ruler. Behind him stalked with regular, jerky steps, the famous
machine-man called Tik-tok, who had been wound up by Dorothy for the
occasion. Tik-tok moved by clockwork, and was made all of burnished
copper. He really belonged to the Kansas girl, who had much respect
for his thoughts after they had been properly wound and set going; but
as the copper man would be useless in any place but a fairy country
Dorothy had left him in charge of Ozma, who saw that he was suitably
cared for.

There followed another band after this, which was called the Royal
Court Band, because the members all lived in the palace. They wore
white uniforms with real diamond buttons and played "What is Oz
without Ozma" very sweetly.

Then came Professor Woggle-Bug, with a group of students from the
Royal College of Scientific Athletics. The boys wore long hair and
striped sweaters and yelled their college yell every other step they
took, to the great satisfaction of the populace, which was glad to
have this evidence that their lungs were in good condition.

The brilliantly polished Tin Woodman marched next, at the head of the
Royal Army of Oz which consisted of twenty-eight officers, from
Generals down to Captains. There were no privates in the army because
all were so courageous and skillful that they had been promoted one by
one until there were no privates left. Jim and the buggy followed,
the old cab-horse being driven by Zeb while the Wizard stood up on the
seat and bowed his bald head right and left in answer to the cheers of
the people, who crowded thick about him.

Taken altogether the procession was a grand success, and when it had
returned to the palace the citizens crowded into the great Throne Room
to see the Wizard perform his tricks.

The first thing the little humbug did was to produce a tiny white
piglet from underneath his hat and pretend to pull it apart, making
two. This act he repeated until all of the nine tiny piglets were
visible, and they were so glad to get out of his pocket that they ran
around in a very lively manner. The pretty little creatures would
have been a novelty anywhere, so the people were as amazed and
delighted at their appearance as even the Wizard could have desired.
When he had made them all disappear again Ozma declared she was sorry
they were gone, for she wanted one of them to pet and play with. So
the Wizard pretended to take one of the piglets out of the hair of the
Princess (while really he slyly took it from his inside pocket) and
Ozma smiled joyously as the creature nestled in her arms, and she
promised to have an emerald collar made for its fat neck and to keep
the little squealer always at hand to amuse her.

Afterward it was noticed that the Wizard always performed his famous
trick with eight piglets, but it seemed to please the people just as
well as if there had been nine of them.

In his little room back of the Throne Room the Wizard had found a lot
of things he had left behind him when he went away in the balloon, for
no one had occupied the apartment in his absence. There was enough
material there to enable him to prepare several new tricks which he
had learned from some of the jugglers in the circus, and he had passed
part of the night in getting them ready. So he followed the trick of
the nine tiny piglets with several other wonderful feats that greatly
delighted his audience and the people did not seem to care a bit
whether the little man was a humbug Wizard or not, so long as he
succeeded in amusing them. They applauded all his tricks and at the
end of the performance begged him earnestly not to go away again and
leave them.

"In that case," said the little man, gravely, "I will cancel all of my
engagements before the crowned heads of Europe and America and devote
myself to the people of Oz, for I love you all so well that I can deny
you nothing."

After the people had been dismissed with this promise our friends
joined Princess Ozma at an elaborate luncheon in the palace, where
even the Tiger and the Lion were sumptuously fed and Jim the Cab-horse
ate his oatmeal out of a golden bowl with seven rows of rubies,
sapphires and diamonds set around the rim of it.

In the afternoon they all went to a great field outside the city gates
where the games were to be held. There was a beautiful canopy for
Ozma and her guests to sit under and watch the people run races and
jump and wrestle. You may be sure the folks of Oz did their best with
such a distinguished company watching them, and finally Zeb offered to
wrestle with a little Munchkin who seemed to be the champion. In
appearance he was twice as old as Zeb, for he had long pointed
whiskers and wore a peaked hat with little bells all around the brim
of it, which tinkled gaily as he moved. But although the Munchkin was
hardly tall enough to come to Zeb's shoulder he was so strong and
clever that he laid the boy three times on his back with apparent ease.

Zeb was greatly astonished at his defeat, and when the pretty Princess
joined her people in laughing at him he proposed a boxing-match with
the Munchkin, to which the little Ozite readily agreed. But the first
time that Zeb managed to give him a sharp box on the ears the Munchkin
sat down upon the ground and cried until the tears ran down his
whiskers, because he had been hurt. This made Zeb laugh, in turn, and
the boy felt comforted to find that Ozma laughed as merrily at her
weeping subject as she had at him.

Just then the Scarecrow proposed a race between the Sawhorse and the
Cab-horse; and although all the others were delighted at the
suggestion the Sawhorse drew back, saying:

"Such a race would not be fair."

"Of course not," added Jim, with a touch of scorn; "those little
wooden legs of yours are not half as long as my own."

"It isn't that," said the Sawhorse, modestly; "but I never tire, and
you do."

"Bah!" cried Jim, looking with great disdain at the other; "do you
imagine for an instant that such a shabby imitation of a horse as you
are can run as fast as I?"

"I don't know, I'm sure," replied the Sawhorse.

"That is what we are trying to find out," remarked the Scarecrow.
"The object of a race is to see who can win it--or at least that is
what my excellent brains think."

"Once, when I was young," said Jim, "I was a race horse, and defeated
all who dared run against me. I was born in Kentucky, you know, where
all the best and most aristocratic horses come from."

"But you're old, now, Jim," suggested Zeb.

"Old! Why, I feel like a colt today," replied Jim. "I only wish
there was a real horse here for me to race with. I'd show the people
a fine sight, I can tell you."

"Then why not race with the Sawhorse?" enquired the Scarecrow.

"He's afraid," said Jim.

"Oh, no," answered the Sawhorse. "I merely said it wasn't fair. But
if my friend the Real Horse is willing to undertake the race I am
quite ready."

So they unharnessed Jim and took the saddle off the Sawhorse, and the
two queerly matched animals were stood side by side for the start.

"When I say 'Go!'" Zeb called to them, "you must dig out and race
until you reach those three trees you see over yonder. Then circle
'round them and come back again. The first one that passes the place
where the Princess sits shall be named the winner. Are you ready?"

"I suppose I ought to give the wooden dummy a good start of me,"
growled Jim.

"Never mind that," said the Sawhorse. "I'll do the best I can."

"Go!" cried Zeb; and at the word the two horses leaped forward and the
race was begun.

Jim's big hoofs pounded away at a great rate, and although he did not
look very graceful he ran in a way to do credit to his Kentucky
breeding. But the Sawhorse was swifter than the wind. Its wooden
legs moved so fast that their twinkling could scarcely be seen, and
although so much smaller than the cab-horse it covered the ground much
faster. Before they had reached the trees the Sawhorse was far ahead,
and the wooden animal returned to the starting place as was being
lustily cheered by the Ozites before Jim came panting up to the canopy
where the Princess and her friends were seated.

I am sorry to record the fact that Jim was not only ashamed of his
defeat but for a moment lost control of his temper. As he looked at
the comical face of the Sawhorse he imagined that the creature was
laughing at him; so in a fit of unreasonable anger he turned around
and made a vicious kick that sent his rival tumbling head over heels
upon the ground, and broke off one of its legs and its left ear.

An instant later the Tiger crouched and launched its huge body through
the air swift and resistless as a ball from a cannon. The beast
struck Jim full on his shoulder and sent the astonished cab-horse
rolling over and over, amid shouts of delight from the spectators, who
had been horrified by the ungracious act he had been guilty of.

When Jim came to himself and sat upon his haunches he found the
Cowardly Lion crouched on one side of him and the Hungry Tiger on the
other, and their eyes were glowing like balls of fire.

"I beg your pardon, I'm sure," said Jim, meekly. "I was wrong to kick
the Sawhorse, and I am sorry I became angry at him. He has won the
race, and won it fairly; but what can a horse of flesh do against a
tireless beast of wood?"

Hearing this apology the Tiger and the Lion stopped lashing their
tails and retreated with dignified steps to the side of the Princess.

"No one must injure one of our friends in our presence," growled the
Lion; and Zeb ran to Jim and whispered that unless he controlled his
temper in the future he would probably be torn to pieces.

Then the Tin Woodman cut a straight and strong limb from a tree with
his gleaming axe and made a new leg and a new ear for the Sawhorse;
and when they had been securely fastened in place Princess Ozma took
the coronet from her own head and placed it upon that of the winner
of the race. Said she:

"My friend, I reward you for your swiftness by proclaiming you Prince
of Horses, whether of wood or of flesh; and hereafter all other
horses--in the Land of Oz, at least--must be considered imitations,
and you the real Champion of your race."

There was more applause at this, and then Ozma had the jewelled saddle
replaced upon the Sawhorse and herself rode the victor back to the
city at the head of the grand procession.

"I ought to be a fairy," grumbled Jim, as he slowly drew the buggy
home; "for to be just an ordinary horse in a fairy country is to be of
no account whatever. It's no place for us, Zeb."

"It's lucky we got here, though," said the boy; and Jim thought of the
dark cave, and agreed with him.

18. The Trial of Eureka the Kitten

Several days of festivity and merry-making followed, for such old
friends did not often meet and there was much to be told and talked
over between them, and many amusements to be enjoyed in this
delightful country.

Ozma was happy to have Dorothy beside her, for girls of her own age
with whom it was proper for the Princess to associate were very few,
and often the youthful Ruler of Oz was lonely for lack of companionship.

It was the third morning after Dorothy's arrival, and she was sitting
with Ozma and their friends in a reception room, talking over old
times, when the Princess said to her maid:

"Please go to my boudoir, Jellia, and get the white piglet I left on
the dressing-table. I want to play with it."

Jellia at once departed on the errand, and she was gone so long that
they had almost forgotten her mission when the green robed maiden
returned with a troubled face.

"The piglet is not there, your Highness," said she.

"Not there!" exclaimed Ozma. "Are you sure?"

"I have hunted in every part of the room," the maid replied.

"Was not the door closed?" asked the Princess.

"Yes, your Highness; I am sure it was; for when I opened it Dorothy's
white kitten crept out and ran up the stairs."

Hearing this, Dorothy and the Wizard exchanged startled glances, for
they remembered how often Eureka had longed to eat a piglet. The
little girl jumped up at once.

"Come, Ozma," she said, anxiously; "let us go ourselves to search for
the piglet."

So the two went to the dressing-room of the Princess and searched
carefully in every corner and among the vases and baskets and
ornaments that stood about the pretty boudoir. But not a trace could
they find of the tiny creature they sought.

Dorothy was nearly weeping, by this time, while Ozma was angry and
indignant. When they returned to the others the Princess said:

"There is little doubt that my pretty piglet has been eaten by that
horrid kitten, and if that is true the offender must be punished."

"I don't b'lieve Eureka would do such a dreadful thing!" cried
Dorothy, much distressed. "Go and get my kitten, please, Jellia, and
we'll hear what she has to say about it."

The green maiden hastened away, but presently returned and said:

"The kitten will not come. She threatened to scratch my eyes out if I
touched her."

"Where is she?" asked Dorothy.

"Under the bed in your own room," was the reply.

So Dorothy ran to her room and found the kitten under the bed.

"Come here, Eureka!" she said.

"I won't," answered the kitten, in a surly voice.

"Oh, Eureka! Why are you so bad?"

The kitten did not reply.

"If you don't come to me, right away," continued Dorothy, getting provoked,
"I'll take my Magic Belt and wish you in the Country of the Gurgles."

"Why do you want me?" asked Eureka, disturbed by this threat.

"You must go to Princess Ozma. She wants to talk to you."

"All right," returned the kitten, creeping out. "I'm not afraid of
Ozma--or anyone else."

Dorothy carried her in her arms back to where the others sat in
grieved and thoughtful silence.

"Tell me, Eureka," said the Princess, gently: "did you eat
my pretty piglet?"

"I won't answer such a foolish question," asserted Eureka, with a snarl.

"Oh, yes you will, dear," Dorothy declared. "The piglet is gone, and
you ran out of the room when Jellia opened the door. So, if you are
innocent, Eureka, you must tell the Princess how you came to be in her
room, and what has become of the piglet."

"Who accuses me?" asked the kitten, defiantly.

"No one," answered Ozma. "Your actions alone accuse you. The fact is
that I left my little pet in my dressing-room lying asleep upon the
table; and you must have stolen in without my knowing it. When next
the door was opened you ran out and hid yourself--and the piglet was gone."

"That's none of my business," growled the kitten.

"Don't be impudent, Eureka," admonished Dorothy.

"It is you who are impudent," said Eureka, "for accusing me of such a
crime when you can't prove it except by guessing."

Ozma was now greatly incensed by the kitten's conduct. She summoned
her Captain-General, and when the long, lean officer appeared she said:

"Carry this cat away to prison, and keep her in safe confinement until
she is tried by law for the crime of murder."

So the Captain-General took Eureka from the arms of the now weeping
Dorothy and in spite of the kitten's snarls and scratches carried it
away to prison.

"What shall we do now?" asked the Scarecrow, with a sigh, for such a
crime had cast a gloom over all the company.

"I will summon the Court to meet in the Throne Room at three o'clock,"
replied Ozma. "I myself will be the judge, and the kitten shall have
a fair trial."

"What will happen if she is guilty?" asked Dorothy.

"She must die," answered the Princess.

"Nine times?" enquired the Scarecrow.

"As many times as is necessary," was the reply. "I will ask the Tin
Woodman to defend the prisoner, because he has such a kind heart I am
sure he will do his best to save her. And the Woggle-Bug shall be the
Public Accuser, because he is so learned that no one can deceive him."

"Who will be the jury?" asked the Tin Woodman.

"There ought to be several animals on the jury," said Ozma, "because
animals understand each other better than we people understand them.
So the jury shall consist of the Cowardly Lion, the Hungry Tiger, Jim
the Cab-horse, the Yellow Hen, the Scarecrow, the Wizard, Tik-tok the
Machine Man, the Sawhorse and Zeb of Hugson's Ranch. That makes the
nine which the law requires, and all my people shall be admitted to
hear the testimony."

They now separated to prepare for the sad ceremony; for whenever an
appeal is made to law sorrow is almost certain to follow--even in a
fairyland like Oz. But is must be stated that the people of that Land
were generally so well-behaved that there was not a single lawyer
amongst them, and it had been years since any Ruler had sat in judgment
upon an offender of the law. The crime of murder being the most
dreadful crime of all, tremendous excitement prevailed in the Emerald
City when the news of Eureka's arrest and trial became known.

The Wizard, when he returned to his own room, was exceedingly
thoughtful. He had no doubt Eureka had eaten his piglet, but he
realized that a kitten cannot be depended upon at all times to act
properly, since its nature is to destroy small animals and even birds
for food, and the tame cat that we keep in our houses today is
descended from the wild cat of the jungle--a very ferocious creature,
indeed. The Wizard knew that if Dorothy's pet was found guilty and
condemned to death the little girl would be made very unhappy; so,
although he grieved over the piglet's sad fate as much as any of them,
he resolved to save Eureka's life.

Sending for the Tin Woodman the Wizard took him into a corner
and whispered:

"My friend, it is your duty to defend the white kitten and try to save
her, but I fear you will fail because Eureka has long wished to eat a
piglet, to my certain knowledge, and my opinion is that she has been
unable to resist the temptation. Yet her disgrace and death would not
bring back the piglet, but only serve to make Dorothy unhappy. So I
intend to prove the kitten's innocence by a trick."

He drew from his inside pocket one of the eight tiny piglets that
were remaining and continued:

"This creature you must hide in some safe place, and if the jury
decides that Eureka is guilty you may then produce this piglet and
claim it is the one that was lost. All the piglets are exactly alike,
so no one can dispute your word. This deception will save Eureka's
life, and then we may all be happy again."

"I do not like to deceive my friends," replied the Tin Woodman;
"still, my kind heart urges me to save Eureka's life, and I can
usually trust my heart to do the right thing. So I will do as you
say, friend Wizard."

After some thought he placed the little pig inside his funnel-shaped
hat, and then put the hat upon his head and went back to his room to
think over his speech to the jury.

19. The Wizard Performs Another Trick

At three o'clock the Throne Room was crowded with citizens, men, women
and children being eager to witness the great trial.

Princess Ozma, dressed in her most splendid robes of state, sat in the
magnificent emerald throne, with her jewelled sceptre in her hand and
her sparkling coronet upon her fair brow. Behind her throne stood the
twenty-eight officers of her army and many officials of the royal
household. At her right sat the queerly assorted Jury--animals,
animated dummies and people--all gravely prepared to listen to what
was said. The kitten had been placed in a large cage just before the
throne, where she sat upon her haunches and gazed through the bars at
the crowds around her, with seeming unconcern.

And now, at a signal from Ozma, the Woggle-Bug arose and addressed the
jury. His tone was pompous and he strutted up and down in an absurd
attempt to appear dignified.

"Your Royal Highness and Fellow Citizens," he began; "the small cat
you see a prisoner before you is accused of the crime of first
murdering and then eating our esteemed Ruler's fat piglet--or else
first eating and then murdering it. In either case a grave crime has
been committed which deserves a grave punishment."

"Do you mean my kitten must be put in a grave?" asked Dorothy.

"Don't interrupt, little girl," said the Woggle-Bug. "When I get my
thoughts arranged in good order I do not like to have anything upset
them or throw them into confusion."

"If your thoughts were any good they wouldn't become confused,"
remarked the Scarecrow, earnestly. "My thoughts are always--"

"Is this a trial of thoughts, or of kittens?" demanded the Woggle-Bug.

"It's a trial of one kitten," replied the Scarecrow; "but your manner
is a trial to us all."

"Let the Public Accuser continue," called Ozma from her throne, "and I
pray you do not interrupt him."

"The criminal who now sits before the court licking her paws," resumed
the Woggle-Bug, "has long desired to unlawfully eat the fat piglet,
which was no bigger than a mouse. And finally she made a wicked
plan to satisfy her depraved appetite for pork. I can see her,
in my mind's eye--"

"What's that?" asked the Scarecrow.

"I say I can see her in my mind's eye--"

"The mind has no eye," declared the Scarecrow. "It's blind."

"Your Highness," cried the Woggle-Bug, appealing to Ozma, "have I a
mind's eye, or haven't I?"

"If you have, it is invisible," said the Princess.

"Very true," returned the Woggle-Bug, bowing. "I say I see the
criminal, in my mind's eye, creeping stealthily into the room of our
Ozma and secreting herself, when no one was looking, until the
Princess had gone away and the door was closed. Then the murderer was
alone with her helpless victim, the fat piglet, and I see her pounce
upon the innocent creature and eat it up--"

"Are you still seeing with your mind's eye?" enquired the Scarecrow.

"Of course; how else could I see it? And we know the thing is true,
because since the time of that interview there is no piglet to be
found anywhere."

"I suppose, if the cat had been gone, instead of the piglet,
your mind's eye would see the piglet eating the cat," suggested
the Scarecrow.

"Very likely," acknowledged the Woggle-Bug. "And now, Fellow Citizens
and Creatures of the Jury, I assert that so awful a crime deserves
death, and in the case of the ferocious criminal before you--who is
now washing her face--the death penalty should be inflicted nine times."

There was great applause when the speaker sat down. Then the Princess
spoke in a stern voice:

"Prisoner, what have you to say for yourself? Are you guilty,
or not guilty?"

"Why, that's for you to find out," replied Eureka. "If you can prove
I'm guilty, I'll be willing to die nine times, but a mind's eye is no
proof, because the Woggle-Bug has no mind to see with."

"Never mind, dear," said Dorothy.

Then the Tin Woodman arose and said:

"Respected Jury and dearly beloved Ozma, I pray you not to judge this
feline prisoner unfeelingly. I do not think the innocent kitten can
be guilty, and surely it is unkind to accuse a luncheon of being a
murder. Eureka is the sweet pet of a lovely little girl whom we all
admire, and gentleness and innocence are her chief virtues. Look at
the kitten's intelligent eyes;" (here Eureka closed her eyes sleepily)
"gaze at her smiling countenance!" (here Eureka snarled and showed her
teeth) "mark the tender pose of her soft, padded little hands!" (Here
Eureka bared her sharp claws and scratched at the bars of the cage.)
"Would such a gentle animal be guilty of eating a fellow creature?
No; a thousand times, no!"

"Oh, cut it short," said Eureka; "you've talked long enough."

"I'm trying to defend you," remonstrated the Tin Woodman.

"Then say something sensible," retorted the kitten. "Tell them it
would be foolish for me to eat the piglet, because I had sense enough
to know it would raise a row if I did. But don't try to make out I'm
too innocent to eat a fat piglet if I could do it and not be found
out. I imagine it would taste mighty good."

"Perhaps it would, to those who eat," remarked the Tin Woodman. "I
myself, not being built to eat, have no personal experience in such
matters. But I remember that our great poet once said:

"'To eat is sweet
When hunger's seat
Demands a treat
Of savory meat.'

"Take this into consideration, friends of the Jury, and you will
readily decide that the kitten is wrongfully accused and should be set
at liberty."

When the Tin Woodman sat down no one applauded him, for his arguments
had not been very convincing and few believed that he had proved
Eureka's innocence. As for the Jury, the members whispered to each
other for a few minutes and then they appointed the Hungry Tiger their
spokesman. The huge beast slowly arose and said:

"Kittens have no consciences, so they eat whatever pleases them. The
jury believes the white kitten known as Eureka is guilty of having
eaten the piglet owned by Princess Ozma, and recommends that she be
put to death in punishment of the crime."

The judgment of the jury was received with great applause, although
Dorothy was sobbing miserably at the fate of her pet. The Princess
was just about to order Eureka's head chopped off with the Tin
Woodman's axe when that brilliant personage once more arose and
addressed her.

"Your Highness," said he, "see how easy it is for a jury to be mistaken.
The kitten could not have eaten your piglet--for here it is!"

He took off his funnel hat and from beneath it produced a tiny white
piglet, which he held aloft that all might see it clearly.

Ozma was delighted and exclaimed, eagerly:

"Give me my pet, Nick Chopper!"

And all the people cheered and clapped their hands, rejoicing that the
prisoner had escaped death and been proved to be innocent.

As the Princess held the white piglet in her arms and stroked its soft
hair she said: "Let Eureka out of the cage, for she is no longer a
prisoner, but our good friend. Where did you find my missing pet,
Nick Chopper?"

"In a room of the palace," he answered.

"Justice," remarked the Scarecrow, with a sigh, "is a dangerous thing
to meddle with. If you hadn't happened to find the piglet, Eureka
would surely have been executed."

"But justice prevailed at the last," said Ozma, "for here is my pet,
and Eureka is once more free."

"I refuse to be free," cried the kitten, in a sharp voice, "unless the
Wizard can do his trick with eight piglets. If he can produce but
seven, then this is not the piglet that was lost, but another one."

"Hush, Eureka!" warned the Wizard.

"Don't be foolish," advised the Tin Woodman, "or you may be sorry for it."

"The piglet that belonged to the Princess wore an emerald collar,"
said Eureka, loudly enough for all to hear.

"So it did!" exclaimed Ozma. "This cannot be the one the Wizard gave me."

"Of course not; he had nine of them, altogether," declared Eureka;
"and I must say it was very stingy of him not to let me eat just a
few. But now that this foolish trial is ended, I will tell you what
really became of your pet piglet."

At this everyone in the Throne Room suddenly became quiet, and the
kitten continued, in a calm, mocking tone of voice:

"I will confess that I intended to eat the little pig for my
breakfast; so I crept into the room where it was kept while the
Princess was dressing and hid myself under a chair. When Ozma went
away she closed the door and left her pet on the table. At once I
jumped up and told the piglet not to make a fuss, for he would be
inside of me in half a second; but no one can teach one of these
creatures to be reasonable. Instead of keeping still, so I could eat
him comfortably, he trembled so with fear that he fell off the table
into a big vase that was standing on the floor. The vase had a very
small neck, and spread out at the top like a bowl. At first the
piglet stuck in the neck of the vase and I thought I should get him,
after all, but he wriggled himself through and fell down into the deep
bottom part--and I suppose he's there yet."

All were astonished at this confession, and Ozma at once sent an
officer to her room to fetch the vase. When he returned the Princess
looked down the narrow neck of the big ornament and discovered her
lost piglet, just as Eureka had said she would.

There was no way to get the creature out without breaking the vase, so
the Tin Woodman smashed it with his axe and set the little prisoner free.

Then the crowd cheered lustily and Dorothy hugged the kitten in her
arms and told her how delighted she was to know that she was innocent.

"But why didn't you tell us at first?" she asked.

"It would have spoiled the fun," replied the kitten, yawning.

Ozma gave the Wizard back the piglet he had so kindly allowed Nick
Chopper to substitute for the lost one, and then she carried her own
into the apartments of the palace where she lived. And now, the trial
being over, the good citizens of the Emerald City scattered to their
homes, well content with the day's amusement.

20. Zeb Returns to the Ranch

Eureka was much surprised to find herself in disgrace; but she was, in
spite of the fact that she had not eaten the piglet. For the folks of
Oz knew the kitten had tried to commit the crime, and that only an
accident had prevented her from doing so; therefore even the Hungry
Tiger preferred not to associate with her. Eureka was forbidden to
wander around the palace and was made to stay in confinement in
Dorothy's room; so she began to beg her mistress to send her to some
other place where she could enjoy herself better.

Dorothy was herself anxious to get home, so she promised Eureka they
would not stay in the Land of Oz much longer.

The next evening after the trial the little girl begged Ozma to allow
her to look in the enchanted picture, and the Princess readily
consented. She took the child to her room and said: "Make your wish,
dear, and the picture will show the scene you desire to behold."

Then Dorothy found, with the aid of the enchanted picture, that Uncle
Henry had returned to the farm in Kansas, and she also saw that both
he and Aunt Em were dressed in mourning, because they thought their
little niece had been killed by the earthquake.

"Really," said the girl, anxiously, "I must get back as soon as
poss'ble to my own folks."

Zeb also wanted to see his home, and although he did not find anyone
morning for him, the sight of Hugson's Ranch in the picture made him
long to get back there.

"This is a fine country, and I like all the people that live in it,"
he told Dorothy. "But the fact is, Jim and I don't seem to fit into a
fairyland, and the old horse has been begging me to go home again ever
since he lost the race. So, if you can find a way to fix it, we'll be
much obliged to you."

"Ozma can do it, easily," replied Dorothy. "Tomorrow morning I'll go
to Kansas and you can go to Californy."

That last evening was so delightful that the boy will never forget it
as long as he lives. They were all together (except Eureka) in the
pretty rooms of the Princess, and the Wizard did some new tricks, and
the Scarecrow told stories, and the Tin Woodman sang a love song in a
sonorous, metallic voice, and everybody laughed and had a good time.
Then Dorothy wound up Tik-tok and he danced a jig to amuse the
company, after which the Yellow Hen related some of her adventures
with the Nome King in the Land of Ev.

The Princess served delicious refreshments to those who were in the
habit of eating, and when Dorothy's bed time arrived the company
separated after exchanging many friendly sentiments.

Next morning they all assembled for the final parting, and many of the
officials and courtiers came to look upon the impressive ceremonies.

Dorothy held Eureka in her arms and bade her friends a fond good-bye.

"You must come again, some time," said the little Wizard; and she
promised she would if she found it possible to do so.

"But Uncle Henry and Aunt Em need me to help them," she added, "so I
can't ever be very long away from the farm in Kansas."

Ozma wore the Magic Belt; and, when she had kissed Dorothy farewell
and had made her wish, the little girl and her kitten disappeared
in a twinkling.

"Where is she?" asked Zeb, rather bewildered by the suddenness of it.

"Greeting her uncle and aunt in Kansas, by this time," returned Ozma,
with a smile.

Then Zeb brought out Jim, all harnessed to the buggy, and took his seat.

"I'm much obliged for all your kindness," said the boy, "and very
grateful to you for saving my life and sending me home again after all
the good times I've had. I think this is the loveliest country in the
world; but not being fairies Jim and I feel we ought to be where we
belong--and that's at the ranch. Good-bye, everybody!"

He gave a start and rubbed his eyes. Jim was trotting along the
well-known road, shaking his ears and whisking his tail with a
contented motion. Just ahead of them were the gates of Hugson's
Ranch, and Uncle Hugson now came out and stood with uplifted arms and
wide open mouth, staring in amazement.

"Goodness gracious! It's Zeb--and Jim, too!" he exclaimed. "Where in
the world have you been, my lad?"

"Why, in the world, Uncle," answered Zeb, with a laugh.

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